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Author Topic: You're an 1890's kid if
The Hammer
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Just wanted to remind people of the good ole days.

You're an 1890's kid if:

You've ever ended a sentence with "Indeed!"

You remember when Tsar Alexander III of Russia, Heinrich Hertz, Emily Dickinson and Harriet Beecher Stowe died.

You know that "Elementary, my dear Watson" doesn't come from the Sherlock Holmes books and that "Are we not men?" comes from the creatures in "The Island of Dr. Moreau".

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to take three turns about the rose garden.

You got super excited when you could leave school at the age of 12.

You remember reading "The Battery and the Boiler or Adventures in the Laying of Submarine Electric Cables"

You know the profound meaning of "By the by"

You have pondered why women can't vote.

You've danced to "Bicycle built for two". Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot lonelier (Whether she loves me Or loves me not, Sometimes it's hard to tell)

You remember the craze, then the banning of labor exploitation and anti-competitive business practices.

You still get the urge to use "countenance" to describe moods.

Maine was both a naval vessel and a state.

Rough Riders.

When playing cowboys and indians with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being General Nelson Miles.

You remember when Andrew Carnegie became popular.

"CRISIS AT HAND! SPANISH TREACHERY!"

You remember reading the newspaper before there were color prints.

Two words.. Wounded Knee.

You never got injured in a steam carriage

You wore a health corset but tightened it too much anyway..

“I love little Pussy, her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm.
I'll sit by the fire and give her some food,
And Pussy will love me, because I am good.”

You remember stream vs. horses

You remember Thomas Edison when he was still cool.

You knew European royalty and their life stories.

You played football before the official rules

You had at least one precious heirloom from your father or grandfather and brought it everywhere

DRACULA AND FRANKENSTEIN WERE THE BEST HORROR BOOKS

You knew the White Man’s Burden by heart.

Pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were second hand and most likely farm tools

You remember when the new short-layered capes were always sold out.

You remember a time before the labour unions.

You've gotten creeped out by Emily Dickinson

You thought Spain would finally take over the world

You remember when everyone went yellow fever crazy.

You remember when high-wheel bicycles were cool.


When we were younger:

Before the European arms race...

Before the Great War...

Before the Prohibition...

Before Women’s suffrage...

Before the Panama Canal

Before alternating current...

...Back when you walked uphill both ways to school.

When leather shoes were cool.

When petrol was sold in tins in boxes.

When we recorded stuff on tin cylinders & paid $.05 for a flicker-show.

When we used the radio to hear news.

When Emily Dickinson was still alive.

When the New York Wanderers were the only professional team.

Way back.

The great plains.

USS Maine means something to you.

Monopolistic companies.

Flying V in football.

Playing football until you are too injured to keep going.

Carnivals.

Tree Houses.

TOPHATS!!!!!

Before the English translation of the Communist Manifesto

The annoying Bolsheviks.

Getting the privilege to sit in a car.

Drinking Coca-cola when it still had coke.

Reading the Saturday Morning newspaper without your day-coat on.

Teddy Roosevelt wasn’t a president yet.

When Einstein was still a patent clerk

Or what about:

Rudyard Kipling

McKinley in the Philippines

The original European dynastic order.

Kaiser Wilhelm and Queen Victoria.

White Man’s Burden

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

When $0.05 seemed like a million, & another penny a miracle.


Go back to the time when:

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'

It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.

When playing Chess was the hardest thing ever.

When Imperialism ruled the world.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Who would have thought you'd miss the 1890's so much!!!!!

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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quote:
TOPHATS!!!!!
quote:
When playing Chess was the hardest thing ever.
[lol]

Very nice. Welcome to the board, The Hammer.

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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NZUL
Deck the Malls


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quote:
You remember stream vs. horses
Of course, the problem with the stream option was that it could only take you up or down stream. Usually down anyway. But certainly not into town.

quote:
When we were younger:
What? When we were younger, what? It just goes right back into the "1890s" list again. I expected a connection there between the list and the time when I was younger.

quote:
Go back to the time when:
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.
When playing Chess was the hardest thing ever.

So, like, the 1970s then? Cos all this applied to my childhood.

What's the point of this list, exactly? I don't mean to knock Hammer on his very first post, but aren't these 'remembrance' lists supposed to invoke some memories? There's precious few people who remember the 1890s now, and probably none of them have email. Perhaps it's a piss-take on the remembrance lists. If so, it seems to lack a parody element.

--------------------
"We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton

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Nick Theodorakis
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by The Hammer:
...
Maine was both a naval vessel and a state.
...

Still is.

Nick

(N.B. tinyurl link redirects to a wikipedia article with parentheses in url, which this board software doesn't like)

--------------------
Don't forget to register for the New ULMB.

Announcement here

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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I thought it was funny.

Wounded Knee [lol]

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
You're an 1890's kid if:
You're dead now.

quote:
You got super excited when you could leave school at the age of 12.
Yippee! I can start working 18 hours a day in a dangerous mill to support our 8 member family's one room slum rent!

quote:
You remember when Tsar Alexander III of Russia, Heinrich Hertz, Emily Dickinson and Harriet Beecher Stowe died.
quote:
You've gotten creeped out by Emily Dickinson
quote:
When Emily Dickinson was still alive.
Someone has a serious hard-on for Emily Dickinson.

quote:
You've danced to "Bicycle built for two". Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot lonelier (Whether she loves me Or loves me not, Sometimes it's hard to tell)
WTF do any of these things have to do with each other?! What "new motto"? "He loves me, he loves me not" isn't even in friggin' "Bicycle Built For Two"!!!!

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I'm half crazy all for the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon a seat
Of a bicycle built for two


--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by TrishDaDish:
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I'm half crazy all for the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon a seat
Of a bicycle built for two

Stop, Dave.
Please stop.
I...I can feel it.
Do you want to hear a song?

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by NZUL:
What's the point of this list, exactly? I don't mean to knock Hammer on his very first post, but aren't these 'remembrance' lists supposed to invoke some memories? There's precious few people who remember the 1890s now, and probably none of them have email. Perhaps it's a piss-take on the remembrance lists. If so, it seems to lack a parody element.

Er, except for the whole idea of writing a remembrance list about the 1890s? I think "pastiche" is a better word than parody, but it's pretty accurate in capturing the tone of the remembrance lists while containing items that would genuinely have gone in an 1890s list. It even repeats itself and goes on slightly too long.

Even the responses match the usual ones, like:

quote:
So, like, the 1970s then? Cos all this applied to my childhood.

Unless you were just getting into the spirit of things.

If there's a satirical point as well as just being a nice piece of writing then it's that there's always somebody older than you to go on about how great their own childhood was.

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stalker
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by TrishDaDish:
quote:
You've danced to "Bicycle built for two". Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot lonelier (Whether she loves me Or loves me not, Sometimes it's hard to tell)
WTF do any of these things have to do with each other?! What "new motto"? "He loves me, he loves me not" isn't even in friggin' "Bicycle Built For Two"!!!!

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I'm half crazy all for the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon a seat
Of a bicycle built for two

In my day. When I was a kid in the late 19th century. My parents couldn't afford a stick to chase a wheel down the road. TV and t'internet were still to be invented. We had to keep ourselves entertained for longer so we would sing the verses too.

--------------------
Fetishists Unite! Anti-Fetishists Untie!

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by TrishDaDish:
quote:
You got super excited when you could leave school at the age of 12.
Yippee! I can start working 18 hours a day in a dangerous mill to support our 8 member family's one room slum rent!

And that's because there were yet no labour unions.

--------------------
Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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Jonny T
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by stalker:
In my day. When I was a kid in the late 19th century. My parents couldn't afford a stick to chase a wheel down the road. TV and t'internet were still to be invented. We had to keep ourselves entertained for longer so we would sing the verses too.

Sing? you got to sing? back in us day we had to queue up for three months just to look at a PICTURE of someone singing, and get beaten unconscious for the priviledge! And you know what, we were glad of it an' all!

the youth of today....

--------------------
Hello, I love you - won't you tell me your name?
Hello! I'm good for nothing - will you love me just the same?

Greetings from the dark side...

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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waffles

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Jonny T:
quote:
Originally posted by stalker:
In my day. When I was a kid in the late 19th century. My parents couldn't afford a stick to chase a wheel down the road. TV and t'internet were still to be invented. We had to keep ourselves entertained for longer so we would sing the verses too.

Sing? you got to sing? back in us day we had to queue up for three months just to look at a PICTURE of someone singing, and get beaten unconscious for the priviledge! And you know what, we were glad of it an' all!

the youth of today....

You were lucky. We had to work 24 hour days, 7 days a week for 4 years before we could afford to think about looking at a picture, all the while existing on bits ripped from our cardboard-box houses.

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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You lived in a cardboard box? You were lucky! All seventeen of us lived in a paper bag on a rubbish 'eap. AN' we 'at to get up very early in the mornin' before the sun went down an' clean it wi' our tongues! Aye, but we were 'appier then.

--------------------
"No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly
Hear what you're missing: ARTC podcasts! http://artcpodcast.org/

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Jonny T
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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rubbish heap? A RUBBISH HEAP? luxury! we had nothing to live on but a raft made of razor blades floating over a sea of shark-infested acid, and every day we had to sacrifice a member of the family to the sharks, just for the priviledge of the rest of losing only one limb at a time! and we were glad of it and called the sharks "Mother" and none expected any better!

--------------------
Hello, I love you - won't you tell me your name?
Hello! I'm good for nothing - will you love me just the same?

Greetings from the dark side...

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Llewtrah
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I have a collection of encyclopedias printed in the early 1900s (earliest is around 1910) so these really do feel like memories. I got excited at diagrams showing steam ships laying cables and I have photos showing the rules of the road in 1909: http://www.messybeast.com/history/roadrules.htm

You don't have to be an 1890s kid for those things to feel like memories [Smile]

--------------------
Messybeast Cat Resource Archive
Llewtrah's Soapbox

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The Pikey Snow Queen
The First USA Noel


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Sharks? SHARKS! We lived in a battered tin can in t'middle of a bleeding volcano, it was so hot our skin would peel off and radioactive hagfish would nibble at our flesh if we weren't too sharp. Every day our dad would flog all 37 of us with barbed wire, AND we enjoyed it!

Never did me no 'arm.

--------------------
Brosandi. Hendumst í hringi
Höldumst í hendur
Allur heimurinn óskýr
Nema þú stendur

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Llewtrah:
I have a collection of encyclopedias printed in the early 1900s (earliest is around 1910) so these really do feel like memories. I got excited at diagrams showing steam ships laying cables and I have photos showing the rules of the road in 1909: http://www.messybeast.com/history/roadrules.htm

Those are great - I love the one warning a cyclist against "rid[ing] heedlessly along a road that has little or no footpath, keeping near the fence" in case a horse-drawn carriage suddenly pulls out of a gateway and "a collision is likely to occur". It's exactly like the modern one with a motorcyclist, except that it's the cyclist being warned to pay attention rather than the carriage-driver!

(Edit) Is "mail cart" another word for "pram"? There's a baby in the mail cart! Still, they're right about the dozy woman pushing it around a corner on the wrong side of the road. Get on the flipping pavement! There's a car coming!

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Back in my day, we couldn't afford to sing the whole song! We could only rent a second hand copy of just the chorus for a day! Cost us an entire week's worth of wages, to rent that chorus! And we were thankful for it! The whole family, huddled together without food, water, or heat, would take turns holding the paper, and we'd each sing a line! Glorious, it was! We'd sing it loudly, so everyone on the streets below could here it! Miss Cardi next door would sing a verse she rented, but since she spoke Italian, we never knew what she was singing. But O, what a glorious time, my youth in the slums of New York, that Great Melting Pot! More glorious music was never heard!

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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Lydia Oh Lydia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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The oldest living woman may have enjoyed that email. But she's dead now.

Lizzie

--------------------
"My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League.

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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quote:
You were lucky. We had to work 24 hour days, 7 days a week for 4 years before we could afford to think about looking at a picture, all the while existing on bits ripped from our cardboard-box houses.
24 HOUR DAYS? Why, when I was a wee lad we were lucky to find a 22 hour day! But don't even think for a minute that we didn't have to do as much work in those 22 hours! We just lost 2 hours of sleep.

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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Billy Biggles
Deck the Malls


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Originally posted by TrishDaDish:

quote:
Someone has a serious hard-on for Emily Dickinson.
It's the thing with feathers. Not the whole ostrich, that would be perverted. Just the feathers.

--------------------
Cogito ergo sum, non sum qualis eram. Putting Descartes before the Horace every time.

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by LeaflessMapleTree:
24 HOUR DAYS? Why, when I was a wee lad we were lucky to find a 22 hour day! But don't even think for a minute that we didn't have to do as much work in those 22 hours! We just lost 2 hours of sleep.

Sleep? You had sleep? In my day we had to nail our eyes open and work 26 hours a day 380 days a year. We then had to roll the giant stone penny that was our annual salary uphill by pushing it with our nailed eyes as we were still working with both hands and both feet just to afford a sniff of the poop of a diarretic cat that had just eaten month old rotten fish. But we knew the value of a dollar then.

PS. We had to make our own eye-nails by pounding red hot iron between our knee and forehead.

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Lydia Oh Lydia:
The oldest living woman may have enjoyed that email. But she's dead now.

Lizzie

Wow, I was going to ask if it wasn't a contradiction in terms for the World's oldest living woman to be dead, but I see what you mean. Still, she had two days to read it after it was posted, so you never know.
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Lydia Oh Lydia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Richard W,
Thanks for clarifying my post. I knew what I meant.

[Big Grin]

--------------------
"My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League.

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Pondicherry Pi
Deck the Malls


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Too bad I can't stop myself from reading her name as Lizzie Borden

--------------------
If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. - Lemony Snicket

What the NFBSK is Glurge? Or, a link to Snopes Lingo

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NewZer0
Happy Holly Days


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Can I just say, this whole thing cracks me up? I've read it abnout three times. Did you write it, The Hammer? I think it's brilliant.

I've just posted it on MySpace. I hope it makes the rounds!

--NewZer0

--------------------
I study medieval literature because that's where the money is.

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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And can i just say- almost everyone in this thread OMANK

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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AngelusC
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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After ready all this I can't get Weird Al's "When I Was Your Age" out of my head.

Angelus "Worked 32 hours a day for just half a cent" C

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"Must be Christmas on the Borg ship"-Crow, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

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The Hammer
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by NewZer0:
Can I just say, this whole thing cracks me up? I've read it abnout three times. Did you write it, The Hammer? I think it's brilliant.

I've just posted it on MySpace. I hope it makes the rounds!

--NewZer0

No, I'm not the author. It was fowarded to me.

When I saw the subject I thought it was just a mistake. I was expecting a 1980's email about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and such. [Big Grin]

Posts: 3 | From: Fargo, ND | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
bufungla
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by AngelusC:
After ready all this I can't get Weird Al's "When I Was Your Age" out of my head.

Angelus "Worked 32 hours a day for just half a cent" C

No love for Monty Python, then?

buf 'got evicted from our tin can in the middle of a volcano' ungla

--------------------
"Pardon him. Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature."

George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra

Posts: 4847 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
PeterK
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by NZUL:
What's the point of this list, exactly? I don't mean to knock Hammer on his very first post, but aren't these 'remembrance' lists supposed to invoke some memories? There's precious few people who remember the 1890s now, and probably none of them have email. Perhaps it's a piss-take on the remembrance lists. If so, it seems to lack a parody element.

Perhaps you lack a parody-detection element.
Come on,
"All your school supplies were second hand and most likely farm tools" - ?!
"You thought Spain would finally take over the world" Hasn't its empire been continually shrinking since about 1600?
"Before the English translation of the Communist Manifesto" -?
"When Einstein was still a patent clerk" And how would anyone in the US have known this at the time?
"The original European dynastic order." The original? That would be at least a couple of millennia ago.
"You know the profound meaning of "By the by""Is there one?
"The great plains." Aren't they still there? Did someone build mountains and valleys all over them?

And many are well known to "kids" of way after the 1890s. even up to today in some cases:

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.
When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.
You have pondered why women can't vote.
You remember reading the newspaper before there were color prints.
“I love little Pussy, her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her she'll do me no harm.
I'll sit by the fire and give her some food,
And Pussy will love me, because I am good.”
You knew European royalty and their life stories.
When leather shoes were cool.
Rudyard Kipling

Posts: 670 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by TrishDaDish:
[QB] [QUOTE]You're an 1890's kid if:

You're dead now.

Wwhat if you're alive, wearing 1890s clothing, all these things are true, and you're wandering around saying things like "I can't find my head!" and "My arm just rotted off?"

--------------------
Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
Comic: http://elfhome.keenspace.com

Posts: 388 | From: Philadelphia, PA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
NZUL
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by PeterK:
Perhaps you lack a parody-detection element.

No, I just have insufficient history/trivia knowledge to appreciate the parody in virtually all of those you listed. The others just aren't parody. Like you pointed out "The great plains" - how is this parody? They're still there.

quote:

And many are well known to "kids" of way after the 1890s. even up to today in some cases

Which is why it just doesn't seem to me to be funny enough to be worth sharing. Granted, most of these lists include things not specific to that generation only, and by doing so, it makes it more like that which it is emulating.

I'll just say the joke is lost on me, then. To each their own. [Smile]

--------------------
"We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton

Posts: 377 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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