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Author Topic: Don't let your baby cry it out!
snopes
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Comment: I read this on a message board. and it might actually be someone
the poster knows, but it seems like one of those 'this will happen to you'
stories like the high babysitter one. Have you heard of this before?
(although I will say that I do think that CIO is sad and I could never do
it anyway) btw CIO=Cry It Out

"Why NOT to let your baby CIO

A friend of mine has a neighbor who just had their second child last
spring. They were discouraged because she didn't sleep like their first
baby did and they were looking for answers. They don't co-sleep. They have
always put their baby in the crib in a nursery at night. they thought that
her waking no less than every 2 hours at night to nurse was excessive
since she was "past four months old". (She was 8 months old.) So they
started looking for books on the subject and decided to try letting her
CIO at night. The first time they put her in bed after they had done all
of the "quieting down" things like rocking, singing to her, etc... she was
put in bed and immediately started crying. They decided to let her cry for
10 minutes the first time and they both went downstairs to finish the
dishes. The baby's cry went from a sad wail to a full blown scream in the
first 3 minutes. They stuck to their guns and continued to watch the
clock. 6 minutes into it, they heard her settle down to a whimper and then
stop crying. They were happy that it had worked and they went about their
cleaning up, etc. A couple of hours later, as they were getting ready to
go to bed themselves, they went to look in on the baby and found that the
crib had collapsed on her and she had been smothered... to death."

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Auntie Witch
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Um, yeah. If the crib had collapsed with enough force to smother the child, the baby wouldn't have been able to have sustained crying. Nor would a child in pain settle down with a whimper. Or have sad wail.

[Roll Eyes] I'd seriously like to think there are people who realize stuff like this is crap, but I know better...

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October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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How could a crib collapse on a baby?

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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UrbanReindeer
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I like how she was "smothered ... to death." Instead of what, being "smothered ... to just a little injury?"

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"He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse

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Froggy Mom
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And they wouldn't have heard the crib collapsing?
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ChickyBee
Deck the Malls


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My thoughts exactly Froggy Mum.

Also, and this could just be us, but we check on the Hatchling a few times before we go to bed as he's wriggler and often where he falls asleep is not the same as where he wakes up. Plus after 4 months, most parents can distinguish between the 'I'm tired but I refuse to go sleep' crying and 'ARGH! MUM! DAD! HEEEELP!' crying.

I'm also thinking of the cot collapsing in on itself and it doesn't make sense to me as to how that could smother a baby. I'm probably missing something though. (And if I am, pls tell me.)

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mizzie
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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And why exactly does this have anything to do with letting a baby "cry it out." Are we to believe that if we let our babies cry it out, something awful will happen and cause them to die?

If this had happened (and I doubt it did, for reasons listed above), it was NOT caused by the baby crying, but rather an, obviously, malfunctioning crib.

This is not a warning not to let your baby cry it out. It's a warning to make sure your baby's crib (and other objects) are safe.

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I think the purpose of this is to make new parents feel guilty for doing something "wrong". Or for not being able to prevent or forsee all the possible harm that could come to their baby. Basically, this "warning" is a guilt-trip over being a Bad Parent by letting your baby cry it out.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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jw
The First USA Noel


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DS1 was known as our demolition boy. At two and a bit, he took all the nuts and bolts out of DS2's(then 14 months old) cot.
Me and DW were fast asleep. Only for DD(then five!) rescuing DS1, we would have been visiting the local courthouse.

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Mr. Furious
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quote:
Originally posted by Cervus:
Basically, this "warning" is a guilt-trip over being a Bad Parent by letting your baby cry it out.

Some people loooooove to throw out the Bad Parent Guilt Trip over any number of practices they disagree with, and it annoys me to no end.

There are some activities that I strongly disagree with, but I'd never resort to lowbrow techniques like this; I generally keep my opinions to myself, because I know how I'd feel when somebody calls me out on one of my particular parenting choices.

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"He's not gonna let me in, I'm Mr. Dirty Mouth!"
- Jeffrey Coho (Craig Bierko), Boston Legal

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pirateslife
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Wow, jw, your DD was a lot more responsible older sibling than my big sister. When I was young (under a year, I'd have to ask Mom exactly how old I was) my big sister (then six years old) watched me fall off the changing table and break my arm. Way to go, sis. Dad had gone to get clean diapers from another room. She claims that Dad only told her to "watch" me; he didn't say anything about catching!

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If the world were logical, men would ride sidesaddle. -Mama

I won't ask "Am I weird?" because that ship sailed long ago. -Kahuna Burger

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Aud
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These were the sort of senarios I envisioned when the baby was about 2 weeks old and I had had no sleep. The mind does weird things to you when you're in that state. Why get your parent guilt from random stories on the internet when you can get if from actual doctors, your mother-in-law, and well meaning friends?
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Spamamander in a pear tree
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Wow this has to be the worst guilt-trip parenting email I've seen in a long time. Egawds. The real motivation to me seems to be right here:

quote:
They don't co-sleep. They have
always put their baby in the crib in a nursery at night.

The phrasing is "not only did they have the audacity to not put their infant (at 8 months old, when many babies have begun to develop a nice sleeping pattern) in their bed, they put them in A NURSERY." They don't even refer to it as the baby's bedroom, or "the nursery", they make it sound as if there is a special horrible room they shove their baby in so the parents don't have to think about the baby for the night.

If people choose to co-sleep or have the crib in the bedroom, I won't question their parenting choice... I may not care for it, but it works for them. My mom pretty much forcibly moved the portable crib into the other room when I was staying with her after my first was born, because even though my daughter slept nicely I woke up at every little shift in the blanket. My third we kept in a bassinet in our room for a short while because he was on an apnea monitor, but after the doctor cleared him he slept in his own room. That's what worked for us; YMMV. I sure as hell wouldn't make up some horrible scare story to make sure people did things my way!

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"There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein

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GenYus
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If it was supposed to convice them to co-sleep, they didn't write it very well.

quote:
They decided to let her cry for 10 minutes the first time and they both went downstairs to finish the dishes. The baby's cry went from a sad wail to a full blown scream in the first 3 minutes.
They were downstairs when the kid was smothered... to DEATH! So even if they were co-sleeping, they wouldn't have been there. Now it might be that it was about the evils of cribs vs Mommy and Daddy's bed, but then why bring up the CIO thing?

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unklesamta
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I understood in part the warning to be "respond to the babies crying, because you may never know what they are crying about."

I could be off, but that's what I read. And in part I agree, though that crying may be simply, "I don't want to sleep right now thank you very much." And that seems to be a major criticism with CIO (never seen that before, I laughed out loud). Some posit that a babie never cries without reason, at least as young as 8 months old. And few parents realize that the crying when laid down may be actually out of fear or a test to see if they can continue to trust the parent or care-giver. Again, theories, not mine but it's why I read into the OP what I read.

But I am sure all could agree it was a terrible vehicle to get any point across, unless the point is that your a moron.

ETA clarity

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The less you know, the more you believe. -Bono

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ChickyBee
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I want to point out again and I'm sure the other mum's here can back me up, is that by 8 months, you've most learnt the difference between the baby making noise for the hell of it, crying for attention, crying in anger cause he/she doesn't want to be in bed and the full blown screaming of when something is wrong.

My son went straight into the cot, straight into his bedroom. Everyone thought that someone else was buying as a bassinette, so nobody got it. We've had no problems with that.

And if they were downstairs and heard the baby 'settle to a whimper' why didn't they hear the cot collapse?

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So many people are hung up on achievements. What did you do today? What are you planning? Sometimes, just getting through the day is an achievement in itself.

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Auntie Witch
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
If it was supposed to convice them to co-sleep, they didn't write it very well.

quote:
They decided to let her cry for 10 minutes the first time and they both went downstairs to finish the dishes. The baby's cry went from a sad wail to a full blown scream in the first 3 minutes.
They were downstairs when the kid was smothered... to DEATH! So even if they were co-sleeping, they wouldn't have been there. Now it might be that it was about the evils of cribs vs Mommy and Daddy's bed, but then why bring up the CIO thing?
You're reading into this wrong. The evil thing they did was go downstairs to do the dishes. Just one more reason why I should have J do them alone: One of our kids might die if we both work on them at once!

[fish]

--------------------
"Feel my head! I feel like a puppy!" -My mother
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
Myspace about my mom, kids

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