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Author Topic: 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make with Women
I'mNotDedalus
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Attractive women are rare.
I've found this to not only be entirely false but also a bit degrading.

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The salty fragrance of L’Eau D’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles.

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by I'mNotDedalus:
quote:
Attractive women are rare.
I've found this to not only be entirely false but also a bit degrading.
I guess it all depends on your idea of "attractive".

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And now for something completely different...

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I'mNotDedalus
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Yep. That's the root of what I was gettin' at. By inference, then, I find most legs humpable.

But even on a superficial plane, a level where you can identify the kinds of women one imagines most men find physically attractive: I’ve found that they’re all over the damned place…plotting away.

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The salty fragrance of L’Eau D’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles.

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I remember this girl who I thought was "hot" back in college. It all came crashing down on me when I had her in a class (Okay, let me rephrase that, we were in the same class). I figured out she was an air-head. That pretty much ruined her "attractiveness" for me. [Frown]

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And now for something completely different...

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Doug4.7:
I remember this girl who I thought was "hot" back in college. It all came crashing down on me when I had her in a class (Okay, let me rephrase that, we were in the same class). I figured out she was an air-head. That pretty much ruined her "attractiveness" for me. [Frown]

That reminds me of last night's Family Guy.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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NeeCD
Happy Holly Days


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Doug, that happened to me in Jr. High. I had a crush on a really cute boy from 3rd grade through 7th grade. We were never in the same class, though, so it wasn't until 8th grade math class that I found out what a lunk-head he was. He could barely put a coherent sentence together, and the 4 year crush was over instantly. I was so disappointed, but I'm glad I learned that lesson early on.

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I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by NeeCD:
Doug, that happened to me in Jr. High. I had a crush on a really cute boy from 3rd grade through 7th grade. We were never in the same class, though, so it wasn't until 8th grade math class that I found out what a lunk-head he was. He could barely put a coherent sentence together, and the 4 year crush was over instantly. I was so disappointed, but I'm glad I learned that lesson early on.

I was rather excited to be in the same class as her. i told all my friends how I was going to "make a move" even though she was "way out of my class" (she was popular, a MAJOR member of the student government, etc.). Once she opened her mouth... it was all over for me. [Frown]

People razzed me for that for years.

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And now for something completely different...

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Communication Attempt
Jingle Bell Hock


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I found that they are as many ways to get girls as there are girls.What will turn on one will have the other get a restraining order.

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"I love God,he's so deliciously evil!" -Stewie,Family Guy

The fun thing about standards is that they come in so many varieties.

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Communication Attempt:
What will turn on one will have the other get a restraining order.

[Eek!] Here's to hoping that's a bit of an exaggeration.

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Amigone201:
[MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”



MISTAKE #2: Trying To
“Convince Her To Like You"


These two are true, at least for me. I don't like nice guys or "nice guys," I like aggressive alpha males. And the harder someone tries to convince me to like them the more they disgust me. Popular romance to the contrary, persistence is not a good quality in a potential boyfriend.

quote:
MISTAKE #5: Sharing
“How You Feel” Too Early In
The Relationship With Her


Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Attractive women are rare.

And they get a LOT of attention from men.

Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME.

An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.

And guess what?

Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way...

Hm. I don't think I'm unusually attractive, but I would say I average one come-on (this includes everything from catcalls to someone giving me their phone number) per day. Some days I get none at all, other days it's like I have a big sign on me that says "For a good time, bother me!" That said, I don't think that has anything to do with not wanting guys to move too fast. It just makes me not like being hit on.

I agree with whoever said it's more the idea of the list than the list itself that's a yucky idea.

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Officially Heartless

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Squishy0405
Wii Wiish You A Merry Chriistmas


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I didn't read the entire trash but I was glad it mentioned mistakes "Men make with women" because the title made me want to state that my biggest problem is that I don't have a penis. Or maybe that's a good thing [Wink]

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"Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket

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Singing in the Drizzle
Jingle Bell Hock


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My experiance with most "really attractive women" is that while they look beautiful on the outside and have you dreaming of seeing them Playboy, they are ugly self centered women inside. I will stick to not so attractive and have a great personality that I like.

I do agree with #1, #2 and #5.

A lot of women that I have met and dated have dumped me, because I was to nice. I treat all my frieds well, even my GF, but I don't wait on them hand and foot. Now that I married a nice asian women, this same nice is seen as being a very good and respect husband with her family and friends.

I have seen to many women and men try to change how someone feels about them. From what I have seen it get resualts, just in the opposite direction the person wanted.

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I'mNotDedalus
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Singing in the Drizzle:
I will stick to not so attractive and have a great personality that I like.

Do be sure to tell your nice Asian wife that line. I'm sure it will charm the dainty pants off of her.

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The salty fragrance of L’Eau D’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles.

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Simply Madeline
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Singing in the Drizzle:
My experiance with most "really attractive women" is that while they look beautiful on the outside and have you dreaming of seeing them Playboy, they are ugly self centered women inside.

As a really attractive woman, I'm terribly offended by this. [fish]
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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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zing!

Anyway, not only am I breathtakingly gorgeous (and modest) but I have an excellent personality (chock full of modesty).

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I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.

What is .02 worth?

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Singing in the Drizzle:


A lot of women that I have met and dated have dumped me, because I was to nice. I treat all my frieds well, even my GF, but I don't wait on them hand and foot. Now that I married a nice asian women, this same nice is seen as being a very good and respect husband with her family and friends.

Well, while I'm sure your shrimp, chicken, and okra are happy...kinda scary that you had to specify that you treat your "even" your partner well, along with those frieds.

And, I have to wonder, why pull out the ethnicity of your wife?
"Alarm bells ring, are ya listnin?"

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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I'mNotDedalus
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong:
And, I have to wonder, why pull out the ethnicity of your wife?

To be fair, Drizzle did write "women." I'm sure he just didn't want us to confuse his happy home with the ethnic conquests of other polygamists. Plus! Asian chicks are HAWT!

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The salty fragrance of L’Eau D’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles.

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Simply Madeline
The First USA Noel


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He mentions a girlfriend (or a GF, at least) in addition to a wife. No word on the GF's ethnicity, though.
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Troodon
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I think you guys are rather willfully misinterpreting Singing's post. The way I understood, he brought up the fact that his wife is Asian because he is talking about cultural differences in what is seen as appealing behavior in a male suitor.

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Fools! You've over-estimated me!

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I'mNotDedalus
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Nah, not a "rather willful misinterpretation." But an aesthetic misreading. I also think the Yahwist was a woman in King Solomon’s Court.

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The salty fragrance of L’Eau D’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles.

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NZUL
Deck the Malls


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I think Singing's post was bang on. As for culture, there are some that consider 'niceness' as a demonstration of respect, others that consider it makes you a walkover. Generally speaking, if I may be so gross as to lump them together, Asian cultures seem to value 'niceness' in people.

As for the 'not so beautiful' comment, as a not so beautiful wife myself, I am quite fully aware that my husband has "settled" for 'not quite so beautiful'. It wouldn't be offensive and it sure as heck wouldn't be news! I can't stand these psych games some people play on their partners.

Any partner offended by the statement must obviously believe themselves to be amongst the most beautiful people on the planet. I'm not sure I'd want a partner like that, anyway.

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"We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton

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James D
Deck the Malls


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Let's see...

Feeling snarky tonight.

MISTAKE #1: Being
Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”


Translation: The author thinks that women are stupid and purely instintual.

Granted, if you're looking for a roll in the hay rather than a relationship, propositioning enough women boorishly will eventually get you success (and a number of restraining orders).


MISTAKE #2: Trying To
“Convince Her To Like You"


Actually, for any relationship to go anywhere serious, you both have to like each other. And if you don't even think that much of yourself - and taking this sort of dreck seriously is a possible indicator of that - it's hard to get anyone else to form a higher opinion either.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her
For Approval Or Permission


Because rape is a crime. A very serious crime. Following this bad advice could be very dangerous - as dangerous as having a cellmate named "bubba", to say nothing of the danger of being bobbettized.

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
Nobody likes a phony. Unfortunately, much of this junk is about being a phony. Sincerity is the key - once you can fake that, you've got it made. [fish]

MISTAKE #5: Sharing
“How You Feel” Too Early In
The Relationship With Her


Atractive women are not rare. Nor are most attractive women shallow or manipulative. Women are people too. (duh) They are half the human race and just as varied.

As to how you feel - it takes time for deep feelings to develop. There is nothing wrong with feeling a physical attraction - that's perfectly healthy. But to feign affection in hopes to get more physical more quickly - that's just pathetic.

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women

Wow, and I thought the first five were shallow. Women are attracted to a myrad of things. There may be some evidence in evolutionary biology that there is some hardwiring toward signs of a good provider (just as men may have some hardwiring to look for signs of good health), but that often takes a back seat to societal influences. For example, freakishly large breasts are not a sign of excellent health, nor of nursing capacity. If anything they're a sign of potential back problems.

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It
Takes Money And Looks


If your feel you have to change your personallity to meet women, you deserve to be dropped out of the gene pool. This will end in one of two ways - both tragic. Getting dumped once you're discovered as a phony - hopefully before there are children involved; or living life in misery pretending to be someone you're not. There are billions of women on this planet. There are generally a lot of people who are potentially compatable with each other. Look for someone who likes you for you, not because you act like some slimy poser author.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away
All Of Your Power To Women


What power? Baby you can drive my car? Now if somebody's into bondage or that sort of thing, doesn't bother me either way. But if a relationship is about a power struggle it isn't really a relationship - it's just two manipulators trying to play each other.

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing
EXACTLY What To Do In Each
Type Of Situation With Women


Ah, the most deadly mistake. Believing that there is some magic formula, while at the same time degrading women into mere objects to be manipulated and controlled. Spontanaity can be a good thing. Working together can be a good thing. Being a control freak is generally seen as a turn-off.
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP

If you've read this far, you're probably the sucker I'm looking for. Just give me your bank account number, and I will make everything ok... Ok.

And I have a cousin in Nigeria who can help you get rich and extend your manhood while while you knock all the women dead*

*Knocking women dead is a serious felony, and likely to result in very unpleasant and dangerous reprecussions.

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The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

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Singing in the Drizzle
Jingle Bell Hock


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When I said "really attractive women", I'm talking about that less than 1% of the women that fit into that goddess definition you see in magazine, on TV and in the movies. To me this means that the other 99% are not so beautiful. I hope you can live with the not so beautiful if you are still in the top 10% of the beautiful women.

I also use the word "most", not "all" these beautifule women have horable personalities. I would say the bad personalities are inversely proportional to the how beautiful society considers her.

As for my wife. I think she is beautiful, but my definition of beautiful is not the social norm. Though by our social norms here in the west she is good looking. The reason I mention that my is asian is that culture does have some effect on what women are looking for. If you have read post about my wife before you will also know that she is from Thailand.

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Singing in the Drizzle:
I also use the word "most", not "all" these beautifule women have horable personalities. I would say the bad personalities are inversely proportional to the how beautiful society considers her.

I'm not sure I agree with this from experience - granted, by definition I don't meet all that many women in your top 1% - if you can quantify it that well - but of the small sample I have met, most have been really warm, friendly, people too. (And genuinely friendly, not in a false way.)

In retrospect I'm embarrassed that it was a surprise to me in some cases that they were nice, because previously I'd fallen for your "beautiful = aloof bitch" stereotype. But I really don't see why it should hold more true for beautiful women than anybody else. Possibly if somebody is a horrible person AND beautiful then they're more likely to use their beauty to get away with their nastiness and so it's more obvious.

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Esprise Me
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by NZUL:
I think Singing's post was bang on. As for culture, there are some that consider 'niceness' as a demonstration of respect, others that consider it makes you a walkover. Generally speaking, if I may be so gross as to lump them together, Asian cultures seem to value 'niceness' in people.

I disagree. I think the problem here is that "nice" is such an ambiguous word. According to my copy of Unfortunate English, the word has had over a dozen definitions in its history, ranging from "ignorant" to "refined." Today, it is commonly used to mean "kind," but as the "Nice Guys = BLEAH!" section on the aforementioned Heartless Bitches website shows, it can also mean something else.

People who are insecure or manipulative sometimes hide behind the "nice" persona, doing things like bringing a dozen roses on a first date or telling their partners of three months that "you mean everything to me!" or "you are the only good thing in my life!" In the case of the roses and other coming-on-too-strong-too-quickly gestures, the effect on the recipient is not the perception of kindness, but an icky feeling of something being expected in return. In the case of sloppy displays of emotional dependence, the effect is a feeling of being trapped. "Nice Guys," in the HB sense, are not being "nice" in the usual sense at all; that they are rejected for their behavior should come as no surprise.

I sincerely doubt anyone, ever, in the history of the earth, has been dumped for being too truly nice. That's what we call a little white lie to spare the feelings of someone who can't f*ck worth a damn, or is too dull to be around, or smells like three-week old bleu cheese. I realize some abused women date jerks because it's all they've ever known, and some women date jerks because these men have other qualities (see f*king, dullness/lack thereof, smell) that make the jerkiness at least temporarily worth enduring, or because they don't realize or don't agree that they're jerks. But most of us do value kindness and integrity, regardless of the color of our skin. I think your post is both racist and sexist, the latter for agreeing with Singing's perception of having been dumped by women for being nice.

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"If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf

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Jordashe
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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"Now I'm going to blow your mind...

A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking."


Ohhhhh.... that's why I get asked occasionally "what are you thinking?"

I strongly suspect part of this is built from an advertisement.

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Esprise Me:
...and some women date jerks because these men have other qualities that make the jerkiness at least temporarily worth enduring, or because they don't realize or don't agree that they're jerks.

... just to put things frankly, isn't there a certain romantic fascination for the oh-so-dangerous "bad boy" ? Sometimes, when the bad boy turns out to be genuinely bad (what a surprise !), it's too late, and a twisted relationship ensues, just as painful as with a fake nice guy.

My impression is that, just as they automatically suspect a "nice guy" of being a potential jerk/abuser/asshole faking nicety to get to his goal, too many women fool themselves by believing the "bad boy" is only hiding a heart of gold behind his rough looks.


Then you have the Scarletts who realise the bad boy isn't reliable enough in the long run, reasonably marry Ashley while they're still madly in love with Rhett, then make Ashley pay dearly every NFBSKing day for not being NFBSKing *Rhett*.


Major "since the extinction of the sabre-tooth-tiger, there's basically no more need for aggressive alpha-males" D.Saster

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Desperate, but not serious.

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Llewtrah
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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There are grains of truth in the "mistakes" but they are far too exaggerated and we don't all fit the stereotypes, because previous experience can overcome/modify innate mating strategies.

The "nice guy" problem may be that he is too shy to make the first move and he ends up as your buddy rather than your date. Ladies, do not be frustrated when Mr Interested-but-Shy doesn't make his move - there is a solution! These days it is perfectly permissible for the woman to make the first move. I did [Big Grin]

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Messybeast Cat Resource Archive
Llewtrah's Soapbox

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Major D. Saster:
quote:
Originally posted by Esprise Me:
...and some women date jerks because these men have other qualities that make the jerkiness at least temporarily worth enduring, or because they don't realize or don't agree that they're jerks.

... just to put things frankly, isn't there a certain romantic fascination for the oh-so-dangerous "bad boy" ? Sometimes, when the bad boy turns out to be genuinely bad (what a surprise !), it's too late, and a twisted relationship ensues, just as painful as with a fake nice guy.

Having dated a lot of men who other people described as assholes, while I don't disagree with Major D. or Esprise Me, I'd like to add that a man who seems like a real jerk because he's aggressive and dominant isn't necessarily a jerk to his girlfriend. I know that personally, I am pretty aggressive and dominant myself, and I prefer to date someone who isn't put off or cowed by that, but who is still loving and affectionate. Usually this means dating someone who other people would describe as a jerk.

In other words, just because he's a jerk to you doesn't mean he treats his girlfriend like crap.

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RLobinske
Deck the Malls


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It's been my observation that genuinely nice guys come out pretty well. Honestly treating a woman as an interesting and equal individual makes a guy rather attractive.
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murmurzz
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Word, Thistle. I've typically been attracted to the "asshole" type, but the guy wasn't necessarily an asshat to me.

Of course, just to contradict myself, I ended up marrying one of those genuinely nice guys and I've never been happier. *shrug*

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Gale
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Doug4.7:
quote:
Originally posted by NeeCD:
Doug, that happened to me in Jr. High. I had a crush on a really cute boy from 3rd grade through 7th grade. We were never in the same class, though, so it wasn't until 8th grade math class that I found out what a lunk-head he was. He could barely put a coherent sentence together, and the 4 year crush was over instantly. I was so disappointed, but I'm glad I learned that lesson early on.

I was rather excited to be in the same class as her. i told all my friends how I was going to "make a move" even though she was "way out of my class" (she was popular, a MAJOR member of the student government, etc.). Once she opened her mouth... it was all over for me. [Frown]

People razzed me for that for years.

to quote my friend Rice, "Nothing kills pretty like stupid." It works for men, too.


I still think the best advice I was ever given was to list the qualities that you're looking for someone. Then ask yourself if you possess all those qualities yourself. When you strive to be the person you're attracted to, you're more likely to find someone like that.

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Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop
Once in Royal Circuit City


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Another thing:

Nice guys don't necessarily even think of themselves as nice guys. The most genuinely nice guys are often just acting the way they believe people are supposed to act, and don't figure there's anything special about it.

My brother's about the nicest guy in the world, and this is the category he fits in.

Nonny

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When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Exactly, Nonny.

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Llewtrah:
There are grains of truth in the "mistakes" but they are far too exaggerated and we don't all fit the stereotypes, because previous experience can overcome/modify innate mating strategies.

The "nice guy" problem may be that he is too shy to make the first move and he ends up as your buddy rather than your date. Ladies, do not be frustrated when Mr Interested-but-Shy doesn't make his move - there is a solution! These days it is perfectly permissible for the woman to make the first move. I did [Big Grin]

See, my nice guy and I were both too shy to make the first move. We actually had a third party say "Why aren't you two dating yet?"

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

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