posted
92 billion and 1/2 people have died from not reposting this. So on the news there was a girl who submitted a tape and it was a phone conversation between a girl and her boyfriend. This is how is went:
Amber: Ronny, are you gonna come over tomorrow to meet my mom? Like I said before, she really wants to meet you.
Ronny: Of course, honey. I know how much this means to you. When would you like me to come over?
Amber: How about 6-ish? Hey Ronny, what's that tapping sound?
Amber: Quit joking around, Ronny!! Stop making that noise. It's getting louder!
Ronny: I don't joke, you should know that by now... I love you so much, and I would never lie to you...
Amber: It's starting to hurt my ears!!!!! How can you NOT hear that?! Hold on, there's someone at the door... I'll be right back! Don't miss me too much!
**She answers the door and sees Ronny** **standing there, holding a knife and a phone**
Ronny: Hey, honey... I've missed you...
**He slaughtered Amber and then her parents**
If you don't repost this bulletin in two hours, Amber will crawl out from under your bed in your sleep and murder you. The last thing you will see are her rotting eyes and the phone...still in her hand and repost this with the title "Why sex hurts girls"
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
92 billion and 1/2 people have died from not reposting this
So this was posted by a time traveller from how many thousands of years into the future?
-------------------- "Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people." Posts: 997 | From: Maidstone, UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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-------------------- "Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit
(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad) Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Slice, Slice, Ronny's stabbing knife came down upon their heads...
-------------------- Bender: Though you may have to make a metaphorical "deal with the devil". And by "devil", I mean the robot devil, and by "metaphorically" I mean get your coat. ------------ My sad site: A new way to be bored. Posts: 722 | From: Colorado | Registered: Mar 2004
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92 billion and 1/2 people died to save the world from this senseless piece of tripe by not forwarding it. Yet there's always got to be one who thinks only of herself / himself, making the sacrifice of 92,000,000,000.5 people in vain.
Ronny's coming for you (and your little dog too)
Ta ra 'wan,
Ieuan "the knife" ab Arthur
-------------------- "I e-mail or I don't e-mail. The magic just happens" - From OP in We've Got Mail
Y Gwir Yn Erbyn Y Byd Posts: 626 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Why oh why must they put titles totally unrelated to the subject matter? I insist a new law be passed that forces all such stupidity to be properly labelled as such.
quote:Originally posted by the Glurge Fairy: 92 billion and 1/2 people have died from not reposting this
How did half a person die? Did the other half live?
Does this mean we all get the opportunity to "see how the other half lives"?
I know, I know ...
-------------------- Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer." A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!" "Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND GodRe-AnimateGreenPorkBush Posts: 3986 | From: Illinois, jealous? | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Communication Attempt: I don't get it.If girls have sex their boyfriends will slaughter them and their family?
Would a condom have helped in this situation?
Maybe if Ronny's parents had used one (or the parents of the "author" of this piece of bovine excrement).
-------------------- Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan Posts: 1334 | From: Sweden | Registered: Feb 2000
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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
It doesn't even say that they had sex, though - if there's any point it appears to be that you shouldn't invite your boyfriend to meet your parents in case he kills them with a knife.
(What was the tapping sound, anyway? Him knocking at the door? Sinister.)
This must be a deliberate parody, surely... the spelling and punctuation are too good compared to the content, for one thing.
Posts: 8725 | From: Ipswich - the UK's 9th Best Place to Sleep! | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
It seems to pull in bits from a couple of ULs. One about the psycho phone call that is really from another extension in the house and the other about the head being bounced on the car roof by the psycho. Maybe he then slaughters the family dog, hides himself under a surviving family member's bed and licks their hand in the night? After putting the turkey in a crib and stuffing and roasting the infant sibling?
quote:Originally posted by Communication Attempt: I don't get it.If girls have sex their boyfriends will slaughter them and their family?
Would a condom have helped in this situation?
Maybe if Ronny's parents had used one (or the parents of the "author" of this piece of bovine excrement).
Nah. The girl throws the condom in his face and the corner of the little foil packet scratches his cornea, causing him to scream in agony and clutch at his eye, forgetting about the knife in his hand and thereby stabbing himself through the eyeball and into the brain, much the way I felt like doing after reading this drivel.
Nonny
-------------------- When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Tantei Kid: Slice, Slice, Ronny's stabbing knife came down upon their heads...
Ronny Edison studying in medicine.
-------------------- All the world's a face, And all the men and women merely acne. Posts: 673 | From: Glasgow, Scotland | Registered: Oct 2005
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Spooky Cactus
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
quote:Originally posted by lazerus the duck:
quote:Originally posted by Tantei Kid: Slice, Slice, Ronny's stabbing knife came down upon their heads...
Ronny Edison studying in medicine.
... no, it's no good. Nothing rhymes with 'Amber'. I am going to have that stuck in my head for about a week now, and it's always going to stop at that line. Help me out here!
-------------------- 'When the world is dead and gone, we will still be Rocking On!' (J.P.McCartney) Posts: 154 | From: Yorkshire, England | Registered: May 2006
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posted
With this being MySpace crap, it doesn't have to actually rhyme anyway. It can just "sort of" rhyme. Why not use "scamper?" Or just use "Amber" again and hope no one notices you just rhymed a word with itself.
posted
Amber was quizzical; studied Metaphysical Science in the home. Late nights all alone with a test tube. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Ronny Edison, majoring in medicine, Calls her and starts to purr. "Can I take you out to the pictures, A, aa, aa, mber?"
But as she's getting ready to go, A knock comes on the door.
Slice! Slice! Ronny's silver dagger Flashed across her throat Dice! Dice! Maxwell's silver dagger Made sure that she had croaked.
OK some painful rhymes in there I know.
-------------------- All the world's a face, And all the men and women merely acne. Posts: 673 | From: Glasgow, Scotland | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ligeia: With this being MySpace crap, it doesn't have to actually rhyme anyway. It can just "sort of" rhyme. Why not use "scamper?" Or just use "Amber" again and hope no one notices you just rhymed a word with itself.
You could also use words like danger, anger, hanger, hammer, stranger, strangler, mangler, dangler, scammer, spammer, spanner, chandler, stammer, Grandma...
Nonny
-------------------- When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
This website estimates that 96.1 billion people have walked the face of this Earth ever. It also says that in the year 2000 there were about 6.2 billion. So according to those numbers, roughly 90 billion people have died, ever. Using more recent numbers, another estimate could have shown that about 92.5 billion people have died ever. Or perhaps 92 billion and a half people, I dunno. Since I doubt many people have died and reposted this, it's not unreasonably to estimate that 92.5 billion people have died and not posted this lovely piece of literature. Most if not all of the few who have have probably not died. Obviously, no one has actually died from not reposting it, but I'm guessing that's where that came from. Actually a little bit clever, I think.
Sadly, the rest is absolute crap that makes no sense. Ah well.
Posts: 1048 | From: Brunswick, Maine | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by lazerus the duck: Amber was quizzical; studied Metaphysical Science in the home.
A wee slight correction: it's 'Pataphysical.
-------------------- Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan Posts: 1334 | From: Sweden | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:Originally posted by lazerus the duck: Amber was quizzical; studied Metaphysical Science in the home.
A wee slight correction: it's 'Pataphysical.
Even has its own [url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27pataphysics]Wikipedia page[/url] .
-------------------- I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen and incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. So there! Posts: 802 | From: London, UK | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
According to Jarry 'pataphysics is to metaphysics what metaphysics is to physics.
-------------------- Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan Posts: 1334 | From: Sweden | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
There should be a hole where we can throw all this myspace crap in and bury it, never to be seen again.
Can this even count as Inboxer Rebellion if it only gets posted on MySpace and not passed around through emails?
Posts: 439 | From: Redondo Beach, CA | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Slice! Slice! Ronny's silver dagger Flashed across her throat Dice! Dice! Maxwell's silver dagger Made sure that she had croaked.
Another wee correction. Unless she was killed by two separate people.
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
"Mrs Smith. I have good news, your husband is still alife. At least what's left of him anyways."
And for me that sounds more like a bad Teeny-horror movie like Scream or I know what you did last summer... Scream, I know what you did last summer, you didn't forward the email!
-------------------- ~Reality, the refuge of those who fail in RPGs~ aka Darkfist Dragon -==(UDIC)==- Posts: 334 | From: Lancaster, Ohio | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by the Glurge Fairy: 92 billion and 1/2 people have died from not reposting this
How did half a person die? Did the other half live?
I saw a documentary on Discovery about a woman who, due to a birth defect, had to have everything below her waist amputated as a child. She was the one in that Cris Angel pulling a woman in half video. Maybe the "author" considered that half a death?
-------------------- Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. "Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." - Jon Stewart my space on myspace--now showing "80's Video Of The Week" Posts: 278 | From: Bel Air, MD | Registered: May 2006
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-------------------- My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - Pooh Bear Posts: 2209 | From: Hamburg, Germany | Registered: Oct 2004
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