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Author Topic: Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel
Isaac
Happy Holly Days


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"Dear Civilians, "We know that the current state of affairs in our
great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the
military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand.
Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during
the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. (Start with NASCAR's Daytona 500 this year)
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest---kick their ass.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the
highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing
otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans
fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the
many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold
them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.
(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used to be
"Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay
when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and
get your ass kicked.
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you
fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform
them of their mistake---and kick their ass.
(7) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing y our hand over your heart.
Quietly thank the militatry member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying
her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe
ass-kicking.
(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a
veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our
party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our
Commander-In-Chief (C in C). The President (for those who didn't
know) is our C in C regardless of political party. We have no inside
track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those
representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian
representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go
straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions
repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!
(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying it!
If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your
ass!
(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying
'Let's go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is?
Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds
me---if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me
know, so I can go kick their ass.
(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army),
'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of
endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service
member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get
your ass kicked.
(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember
that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home
wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and
the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its
ass kicked."


"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of
the press.
"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
speech.
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the
freedom to demonstrate.
"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to
burn the flag."
Please pass this on so some soldier or vet won't have to kick your ass !!

--------------------
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest---kick their ass.

quote:
"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to
burn the flag."

Huh?

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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arfnotz
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Ass kicking is one of our most cherished freedoms.
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timbobmc
Jingle Bell Hock


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Hey, my Mama wore combat boots (Corporal,WAAC, WWII, stationed in London, Engand). Does that mean I get to do some ass kicking?

Daddy wore combat boots, too. (Lieutenant, Flight Instructor, Army Air Corps, WWII, stationed in Eagle Pass, TX)

We fought quite a bit over my first amendment right to burn the US Flag (though I never did or even want to do so).

ETA Mama's rank and info on Daddy.

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Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen.

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I'm not really into (_!_)-kicking, but if anyone sends me that little gem, I shall take great delight in kicking his or her (_!_).

--------------------
"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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TB Tabby
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Go ahead, soldier. Kick my ass. Brutally assault a civilian who openly exercised his right to free speech, a right which you are sworn to uphold. And be sure to remind the court-martial the First Amendment doesn't apply to opinions soldiers don't agree with. They'll understand.

--------------------
I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks.

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BeachLife
The Bills of St. Mary's


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Um read it again, it suggests that other citizens should do the ass kicking, not the military.

--------------------
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Jack Dragon, On Being a Dragon
Confessions of a Dragon's scribe
Diary of my Heart Surgery

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by BeachLife:
Um read it again, it suggests that other citizens should do the ass kicking, not the military.

But why do they want us to kick people's asses for exercising the rights they fought to give us?

And doesn't getting other citizens to do their ass-kicking for them make it worse?

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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BeachLife
The Bills of St. Mary's


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I didn't say I agreed with it, just clarifying that point.

--------------------
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Jack Dragon, On Being a Dragon
Confessions of a Dragon's scribe
Diary of my Heart Surgery

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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The last sentence says, "Please pass this on so some soldier or vet won't have to kick your ass !!"

I suppose we live in a Toby-Keith world, where the impulse is to put a boot up someone's (_!_). Oh, well. Different drummers. . .

--------------------
"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Beach, I didn't think you agreed. I was just pointing out the internal inconsistencies of the piece. Signora pointed out another one -- they can't quite decide who's kicking ass.

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Felessan
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Since when is ignorance (5 and 6) on a par with disrespect (1, 2, 3, and 7)?

I actually don't have a problem with 10's comments on those who call psychic phone lines per se (though has anyone ever called Osama bin Laden a Commie?) and as for 4, yes, expose the fake vets for the frauds they are (though ass-kicking is going too far).

--------------------
You fool! That's not a warrior, that's a banana!
- a surreal moment in a role-playing game

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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quote:
It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
Yeah, hardly a week goes by when you don't read about some soldier's defying a court order and choosing to go to jail rather than disclose his source.

- snopes

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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quote:
'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army),
'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of
endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service
member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get
your ass kicked.

If I'm not allowed to refer to a Marine as a "Jarhead" because I'm not a Marine, then they aren't allowed to complain to me when I refer to a Marine as a "soldier."

- snopes

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Elbe
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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So, I'm supposed to have my ass kicked because I had the nickname "Jarhead" when I was a youngster? Hell, I didn't know it was used for marines until much, much later. It just happens to sound similar to my own name and, in a way, a tribute to Jughead from archie comics.

--------------------
Nobody loves Elbe...
-The Adventure of the Avatar Tutorials (3/29)

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Methuselah
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Isaac:
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of
the press.
"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
speech.
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the
freedom to demonstrate.
"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to
burn the flag."
Please pass this on so some soldier or vet won't have to kick your ass !!

I have always, always hated this little tack on at the end of uber-patriotic pieces like this.

China has lots and lots soldiers, yet little freedom of speech.

Germany had TONS of soldiers in 1936, but not so much freedom to demonstrate.

--------------------
"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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OP
quote:
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

Yup, and clearly the author doesn't intend for any of us to exercise those rights--or we'll deserve an ass wupping.

Seaboe

ETA: The author clearly doesn't count Peter Zenger when he's saying who gave us Freedom of the Press.

--------------------
Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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If I decide to burn a flag, should I kick my own ass?

--------------------
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by AnglRdr:
If I decide to burn a flag, should I kick my own ass?

It depends. Are you burning it as a protest, or because that is the legally appropriate way to destroy a flag?

Seaboe

--------------------
Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Hmmm...

well, since I am a liberal, then I could only be burning it in protest...it may be in protest of its old age, though.

--------------------
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Senior
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.
I guess Joe Bentley, Malruhn, DesertRat, GI Joe, AnglRdr, and a whole bunch of other people, including me, will have to vacate the political discussion threads.

--------------------
Ad astra per asparagus.

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RoofingGuy
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Isaac:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. (Start with NASCAR's Daytona 500 this year)

(7) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the militatry member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying
her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe
ass-kicking.

Just curious here... I can understand the whole protest in 1908 about dipping the U.S. flag at the Olympics to the British king, but since the custom of dipping the flag had been adhered to in previous games by the U.S. delegation and isn't against the Flag Code, and since is international custom, isn't refusing to pay respects to the Olympic host countries just as disrispectful as talking during the national anthem or not putting your hand to your heart?

--------------------
I refuse to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed person...

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Isaac:
Please pass this on so some soldier or vet won't have to kick your ass !!

And exactly why would my hireling kick my ass if he doesn't like my attitudes? Aren't they taught to obey their superiors in the armed forces?

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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RangerDog
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Senior:
quote:
(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.
I guess Joe Bentley, Malruhn, DesertRat, GI Joe, AnglRdr, and a whole bunch of other people, including me, will have to vacate the political discussion threads.
No. You can continue to post there because while I am a veteran, you are a retiree, a pensioner as it were. [lol] [lol] [lol]

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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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If I ever see Old Glory "prance by" in a parade, I think I'll head to a detox center.

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you
fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

So if you're not allowed to ask the question, how are you meant to overcome your ignorance?

The list isn't as offensive as it could be otherwise, apart from all the ass-kicking...

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Zabia
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Isaac:

(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used to be
"Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay
when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and
get your ass kicked.


Yeah, but this lead to an awesome episode of JAG with Montel that I giggled my way through. Montel's character punched a Senator who was saying he was a SEAL during nam.
One of my DH's huge munkins though.
*disclaimer* I think this was one of 4 JAG episodes I watched. Though I did notice my husband was always interested in Catherine Bell's, ahem, "metals" when we did watch it.


(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you
fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).



I generally ask Marines if they have fought a huge lava monster recently though.
[fish]

[/QB]



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We frettered around like farm animals, looking around for formulas and father figures. -Twilight Zone

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Bettie Page Turner
Happy Holly Days


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Well, so much for that "behavior becoming an officer and a gentleman" thing.

HMMM...let's see...my dad, GF, and two uncles are/were veterans, and AFAIK, never felt compelled to kick anybody's civilian ass. They must have been piss-poor servicemen. [Roll Eyes]

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You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling

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Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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When I opened this topic, I expected it to be along the lines of a Toby Keith song. I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, it rips on rednecks in the first law ("The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during
the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass. (Start with NASCAR's Daytona 500 this year)"). Second, apart from all of the ass kickings, it isn't blindly patriotic. If you notice, everything is based on respect - respect current and former military members. OK, I could do without the addendum. The military protects our country. Except for one incident about 230 years ago, it hasn't "given" us those freedoms. And the military then was much different than today.

I was going to say that whoever wrote this deserves an ass-kicking for not knowing that you do not have to put your hand over your heart. According to the Flag Code, it is also proper to stand with hands folded in respect ... then I looked up the flag code. Oops. Guess I deserve an ass kicking.

--------------------
"The large print givith, and the small print taketh away" -- Tom Waits, Step Right Up

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad." -- Salvador Dali

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lazerus the duck
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Isaac:

(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during
the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.

Great job kicking the bejeezus out of alopecia and tourettes sufferers.

--------------------
All the world's a face, And all the men and women merely acne.

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by Richard W:
quote:
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you
fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

So if you're not allowed to ask the question, how are you meant to overcome your ignorance?
If you want to know, ask them, "What do you do in the Air Force?" Thereby solving your ignorance and not making an assumption at the same time.

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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bufungla
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:

(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a
veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our
party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our
Commander-In-Chief (C in C). The President (for those who didn't
know) is our C in C regardless of political party.

Wonder if all the military wags who went on and on about how "Clinton's not *MY* president/CinC" remember that.

buf 'aside from wanting Clinton charged under UCMJ, that is' ungla

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"Pardon him. Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature."

George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra

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Gale
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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You know, as a civilian who's worked for over a decade in a DOD-funded research facility, I'd absolutely love for this punk to come kick my ass. It's not flashy, it's not high profile. It's going to work day after day for eleven years to make sure that things are done on time, to push people when I don't much feel like pushing, to insist on certain grades, brands, and specs because it's my job to insist, push, and demand.
Posts: 4811 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Zabia:

(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.

Yeah, but this lead to an awesome episode of JAG with Montel that I giggled my way through. Montel's character punched a Senator who was saying he was a SEAL during nam.

One of my DH's huge munkins though.

It's one of mine too. (I was never in the military). I'm a shooting instructor and the "in" thing right now seems to be to say you were in "special forces" or something similar, even when it's pretty well obvious that you weren't.

The fun thing is going to a shooting match and shooting against some nimrod who makes a bunch of silly-ass claims, then beating him in the match. I always make it a point to say, "Oooh..You were in the special forces and I'm just a regular fat and out of shape cilvilian. Oh, wait. Which one of us won this match?"


quote:


*disclaimer* I think this was one of 4 JAG episodes I watched. Though I did notice my husband was always interested in Catherine Bell's, ahem, "metals" when we did watch it.

Mmmm... Catherine Bell. There's something sexy about about a woman who you have to take orders from.

Robbiev -YES Major! Whatever you say!- 427

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Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

Posts: 1820 | From: Memphis, TN | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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The next time someone sees me in my COAST GUARD summer uniform (called "Tropical Blue, Long"), and asks me what I do in the Air Force, I'm gonna kick their ass!!

Oh, and Senior - since you volunteered first to stay out of political threads - I WIN!!!! WOOT!!!! [lol]

I'm sorry, but the lyrics to a movie theme-song keep going through my head...

America... FUCK YEAH!!!

(FWIW: I agree - total crap of a post!!)
PS: AnglRdr, tell you what, you go ahead and kick your own ass for burning the flag. Then I will kick your ass for burning the flag because of the horrible offence to our country. Then you can kick my ass for supporting your choice to burn the flag. Then we can both kick my ass on general principles. After that, I will kick my own ass for sitting around, waiting for an ass-kicking.

I think that makes us even... COOL! [lol]

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Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

Posts: 5622 | From: Jax, Florida | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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