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Author Topic: Motherhood
snopes
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You know you're a mother when.....
The infant you hold in your arms so tight~
was meant to be there, it feels so right.
A precious new baby for you to keep~
is a newfound love that is felt so deep.

You know you're a mother when...
Little girl's tears can be wiped away~
by soothing words only a mother can say.
This wisdom she learns is second to none~
her words a great comfort to her little one.

You know you're a mother when...
Arguments that cause harsh words to be spoken~
may at times leave a mother's heart broken.
But as children fill our homes with laughter and tears~
they also bring joy and magic to the growing up years.

You know you're a mother when...
You find, at times, you are wrapped in self doubt~
at the enormous task to be carried out~
but still you reach out with a guiding hand~
in ways only the heart of a mother can understand.

You know you're a mother when...
Your life becomes an open book~
you cook, you clean, you counsel, you cook~
each page that's turned starts another new day~
as a mother~ you wouldn't want it any other way.

You know you're a mother when...
Scraped knees and little league games from childhood days gone by~
give way to wedding bells and changing names~ you do your best not to cry.
As young adults begin lives of their own~
a mother accepts her children have grown.

You know you're a mother when...
Those tears you shed at letting go~
turn to smiles as you come to know~
that a mother is forever, till the end of time~
whether her child is nine or fifty nine

You know you're a mother when...
You bow your head in reverent prayer~
as you thank the Lord for being there.
These children you raise are but a loan~
a gift to cherish till God calls them home.

Posts: 36029 | From: Admin | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
snopes
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You know you're a mother when.....
You give so much to your little girl
trying to clothe and feed her
that you have no time to yourself to learn
about rhyme and meter.

Posts: 36029 | From: Admin | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Methuselah
Happy Holly Days


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Hmmm...wouldn't it be easier to just say:
You know you're a mother when...
You've pushed an 8lb. human out of your vagina~
OR
You've had your uterus cut open by a doctor so he can remove an 8lb. human that wasn't able to be pushed out of your vagina~


(I should, of course, also add: You've fully completed the long, expensive and arduous legal ordeal to finalize the adoption of the child you have chosen to love~) [Smile]

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"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton

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Open Mike Night
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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You know you're a mother when...
Your life becomes an open book~
you cook, you clean, you counsel, you cook~

And do you think any of you ungreatful wretchs help out?
No! Look at that mess, I'M not your maid you know.
I work so hard to give you everything, and is it enough. Work my fingers to the bone I do, It's enought to make a woman stop rhyming.

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On the crusade to eliminate Moral Asshattery wherever it exists
Member: AAMAH

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I saw Mommy kismet Santa Claus
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Why 59? Do you stop being a mother when your kid turns 60? I should let my grandma know she can stop worrying about those two men who used to be her sons.
Posts: 2115 | From: Texas | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Hawklaw
The Red and the Green Stamps


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You know you're a mother when.....
Your stretchmarks form a topographical map,
And you always have odd stains on your lap.
When you're on the phone, things go insane,
And you've lost a good portion of your brain.
You pee your pants when you laugh or sneeze,
And your tits have gravitated to your knees.
You're the only one to ever see any mess...
Then you'll know you're a mother, with no need to guess.

Going to wash my brain with glurge-bleach now.

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timbobmc
Jingle Bell Hock


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God I'm gonna barf.

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Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen.

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Zabia
Deck the Malls


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You know I'm finally a mother when...
it must now be legal....
to yell, "damn it baby, kennel"...

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We frettered around like farm animals, looking around for formulas and father figures. -Twilight Zone

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Dropbear
Angels from the Realms so Glurgy


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You know you're a mother when..
Your cell mate, who's doin life x 3,
makes the bunks and brings your tea..

--------------------
" The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett)

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Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
You know you're a mother when...
Little girl's tears can be wiped away~
by soothing words only a mother can say.
This wisdom she learns is second to none~
her words a great comfort to her little one.

"Are you crying? I'll give you something to cry about!" rings a distinct bell with me. [Eek!]

--------------------
"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Zorro:
quote:


"Are you crying? I'll give you something to cry about!" rings a distinct bell with me. [Eek!] [/QB]
Me too.

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Neffti Noel
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
You know you're a mother when.....
You give so much to your little girl
trying to clothe and feed her
that you have no time to yourself to learn
about rhyme and meter.


Posts: 1157 | From: Westcountry UK "It's Bootiful" | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Lets see a show of hands from all you moms reading this:
How many of you have the time to sit down and write poetry be it good poetry or bad, glurgy poetry? Especially those of you with babies/toddlers.

I see here a golden opportunity for you moms to reply back with some beautiful anti-glurge that mentions spitting up, sleepness nights, worry over child's friends and dealing with the--inevitable I've heard-- I HATE YOU!! s of adolescene.

--------------------
Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Neffti Noel
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
Lets see a show of hands from all you moms reading this:
How many of you have the time to sit down and write poetry be it good poetry or bad, glurgy poetry? Especially those of you with babies/toddlers.

I see here a golden opportunity for you moms to reply back with some beautiful anti-glurge that mentions spitting up, sleepness nights, worry over child's friends and dealing with the--inevitable I've heard-- I HATE YOU!! s of adolescene.

Here's one!

Just been watching "The Catherine Tate Show" with a great sketch - Mummy and Baby sitting looking at letter blocks while a musical box plays in the background.

Mummy says..

"I is for igloo... and I need to sleep so much, I'm going to vomit."

Posts: 1157 | From: Westcountry UK "It's Bootiful" | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Rehcsif
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by kismet:
Why 59? Do you stop being a mother when your kid turns 60?

Yes. And you don't start until your kid is 9.

Barf. The only thing worse than bad glurge (redundant, huh?) is bad glurge in the rhyme...

-Tim

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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But on the other hand, this glurge could serve as an alternative to syrup of ipecac. You mothers of young kids may want to print this out should Junior get into something. [Big Grin]

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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Junior can't read yet.

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Syrup of ipecac is no longer recommended by poison control experts. Many hazardous substances do more damage coming back up (much like glurge).

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This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Four Kitties:
Junior can't read yet.

You can read it to him, if you dare. [Razz] [Big Grin]

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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Junior is a she, and I don't dare. She'd become a serial-glurgist just to spite me, I know it!

--------------------
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Posts: 13275 | From: Kindergarten World, Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Senior
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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4-K,

When Junior is 12, read some nausea-inducing glurge to her and say "isn't that sweet? Don't you just love it?" Every time she acts up as a teenager, read her another glurge. You'll be glurge free, at least from her, for the rest of your life.

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Ad astra per asparagus.

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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I think that would be considered child abuse.

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Posts: 13275 | From: Kindergarten World, Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Four Kitties:
I think that would be considered child abuse.

Actually, it's covered off in the Geneva Conventions under cruel and unusual punishment.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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A Cat Named Easter
Catfish on a Hot Tin Roof


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Well, I guess I'm a mother then too since so many of those things apply to me. Or maybe dads aren't supposed to love and comfort their children and I'm just a freak of nature.

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I am the death that walks the night.
I am the bringer of dreamless sleep.

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
...dealing with the--inevitable I've heard-- I HATE YOU!! s of adolescene.

I remember those. Of course, they were usually from my mother and directed at me, not the other way around. That's why stuff like that poem irritates me!

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Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

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