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Author Topic: Hully Gee! Pagan Glurge!
Brandi
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Well, it's Pagan/Christian tolerance glurge, but still...

Amber called her uncle, said "We're up here for the holiday,
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay."
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree,
He watched his song hang candy canes all made with red dye number three.
He told his niece, "Its Christmas Eve, I know our life is not your style,"
She said, "Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you and its been awhile,"

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.

The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, "Is it try that you're a witch?"
His mom jumped up and said, "The pies are burning," and she hit the kitchen,
And it was Jane who spoke, she said, "Its true, your cousins not a Christian,"
"But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere,"

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic's in the learning,
Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.

When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, "Really, no, don't bother."
Ambers uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn't spoken in a year,
He thought he'd call him up and say, "Its Christmas and your daughters here."
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, so his own son tug his sleeve, saying,
"Can I be a Pagan?" Dad said, "Well discuss it when they leave."

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.

Posts: 2787 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Horse Chestnut
Happy Holly Days


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That's a popular Christmas ditty on the NPR station here in Columbus. It's written and sung by Dar Williams, who I like very much. It also has a catchy tune.
Posts: 1651 | From: Columbus, Ohio | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Brandi
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Well, that's good. I did notice the Dar Williams credit when I googled for more info. Still, it's sweet enough to ping my blood sugar...
Posts: 2787 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
AltaCirrus
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Brandi:

Amber called her uncle, said "We're up here for the holiday,
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay."


Why is it implied that ALL pagans are lesbians?

And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree

What did Mary ever do to you!?

The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch

I found Jane and Amber's eye of newt and cranberry relish particularly festive...

Timmy turned to Amber and said, "Is it try that you're a witch?"

Timmy from Passions: NOOOOOO!! I MUST THSAVE THE PRINTHCESTHS TABBY!!

If Timmy was raised in such a TOLERANT, OPEN-MINDED Christian household, who told him that his aunt was a "witch"?

His mom jumped up and said, "The pies are burning," and she hit the kitchen

Ow! what a violent family! what did the kitchen ever do to you!

And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere

nyah-nyah-nyah-nyaaah-nyah!

Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.

Uh oh. The crosses on the front lawn must have gone out.

When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, "Really, no, don't bother."

Her Aunt didn't want the witch to taint her dishwater OR her good china. After the Pagans left, she broke all of the ones that Jane and Amber had used.

"Can I be a Pagan?" Dad said, "Well discuss it when they leave."

In any "devout" Christian household, that's code for "Son, I'm gonna beat your ass bright with my belt before bedtime."

Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.

Sense of history? [Confused] You mean that jolly Christmas of 1692 in Salem?

Alta "My First Anti-Glurge, how'd I do?" Cirrus
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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Four stars AltaCirus! [Cool]
Wonder how many times this glurge has been around the world? [Roll Eyes]

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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quote:
Originally posted by Headless Horse Chestnut:
That's a popular Christmas ditty on the NPR station here in Columbus. It's written and sung by Dar Williams, who I like very much. It also has a catchy tune.

Ani DiFranco also does a cover of the song.

Pogue

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Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Brandi:
Well, it's Pagan/Christian tolerance glurge, but still...

we find magic everywhere,"


And the uncle said "you been hittin' those mushrooms again?"

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
The Wizard of Dooooooooom
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I love the horrible rhyming scheme. I was especially amused when they tried to rhyme "kitchen" with "Christian." The only way this could be any worse is if it was put to music, and I'm terrified that it has been.

By the way, great job, AltaCirrus! [Big Grin] Quite a fine anti-glurge!

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Nolly
Fin City


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[lol] YOMANK AltaCirus!

Nol "my tummy huuuuurts" ly

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DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements..

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NansJns
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I've seen worse, but this was still pretty bad. At least it didn't end with the Christians "saving" the Pagans and all of them falling on their knees in praise of Jesus, right?
Good anti-glurge, AltaCirrus! [lol]

quote:
"Can I be a Pagan?" Dad said, "Well discuss it when they leave."

In any "devout" Christian household, that's code for "Son, I'm gonna beat your ass bright with my belt before bedtime."

That's basically what I was thinking, too. That, or, "I don't want your cousin hear me explain how she and her friend are going to hell for being heathens instead of accepting Jesus; I get tired of her telling me I'm wrong when I know I'm right!"

Well, at least they tried to preach tolerence...

*~*NansJns*~*

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put it in writing
Xboxing Day


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Actually, if you have any taste for singer/songwriter stuff, with the music it's a great little tune. Very catchy. Now, you want something glurgy by Dar, try When I was a Boy.

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and it's 1 - 2 - 3, what are we fighting for? don't ask me, I don't give a damn

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Funkmistress
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.
...What? Is burnt pumpkin pie some sort of pagan food? Blegh.
Posts: 223 | From: Hudson Valley, New York | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Holy crap, I didn't think Pagan glurge was possible. Now I've seen everything. [Smile]

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"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
Countdown: 177 days and counting... or less. My blog. 14 keyboards owed.

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