posted
Originally posted here, it has changed a bit, adding the September 11 reference and a pass it on section.
Dads Poem
Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone.
"Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"
With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far You see he was a policeman and died just this past year When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mothers amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side. "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.
If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.
Take the time...to live and ! love. Until eternity. God bless
-------------------- I swear, it was funnier in my head. Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink. Posts: 2493 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
While in reality, her father was a guest of the New York State penal system and her mother made up the lie so her daughter wouldn't be embarrased.
pinqy
-------------------- Don't Forget! Winter Solstice Hanukkah Christmas Kwanzaa & Gurnenthar's Ascendance Are Coming! Posts: 8671 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Feb 2000
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Wizard with her nose in a spellbook
The Red and the Green Stamps
posted
Oh bloody hell. I thought it couldn't make me any sicker. Now I want to throw up all over the monitor.
What a bunch of bullshit.
Please excuse the language. Crap like this makes me angry. I'm not going to go into all the reasons because I'll get flamed, but how long are people going to use the tragedy of others for their obnoxious agendas? Blah. I aspire to become a glurge serial killer. Then you Snopesters can post about me in Police Blotter and Glurge.
posted
It seems that "Daddy" has been telling different things to different people!
Bigamy anyone???
Hans "Who's the daddy?" Off
-------------------- "British English speakers point to Americans adding more syllables so that they can make even more noise without actually saying anything." Llewtrah
Posts: 2235 | From: Sussex , UK | Registered: May 2004
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-------------------- "No matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" Posts: 1112 | From: Ohio | Registered: Jul 2000
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Thats one of the worst ones i've heard in a while.
quote:If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.
Really? Geez they don't even let you give your own explanation as to why you didn't send it. My reason would be because I try not make my friends wish I had forgotten them.
-------------------- Ralphie, get off the stage sweetheart. Posts: 2041 | From: Yuba City, California | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
Huh?? I don't get it. Did the rose just magically appear out of nowhere? Wtf??
AND WHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN TO RHYME PROPERLY?? This poem sucks.
-------------------- If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy? Posts: 332 | From: Arizona | Registered: Apr 2004
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Scroll down to the video clip with the same title. I recommend clicking the X before the Celine Dion power ballad comes on.
-------------------- There's no sense beating a dead horse- but if you've reached the point where you even seriously consider that abusing a dead animal might improve your lot in life, I say go ahead and give it a shot. --Anthony Myers Posts: 266 | From: BC, Canada | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
Why would someone go to the trouble of filming glurge? I hope whoever did the production freezes his tonsils.
Can someone here come up with a counter glurge where a kid introduces his two Daddies?
-------------------- "You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR
"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony Posts: 2246 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jul 2003
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Woapalanne
The Red and the Green Stamps
posted
This whole spoof is very NFBSK. Very.
Dads Poem - Now without Apostrophes!!!
Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. And she had an arrow through her head. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she was going to admit she was a hermaphrodite. and she couldn't wait to go. There were no bathrooms in her hours.
But her mommy tried to tell her, ”It’s not too late to have your male parts removed!” that she probably should stay home. and get surgury. Why the kids might not understand, if she randomly inserted commas if she went to school alone. Rammstein knows that hermaphrodites are never alone.
But she was not afraid; she was looking forwards to the horror, much like me and this spoof. she knew just what to say. She’d drop trou and dance and sing “I’m a little teapot” What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried, about the rampant comma abuse. for her to face this day alone. So she sent along an alien parasite. And that was why once again, she dropped a comma she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school with her alien parasite and a dirty song in her heart eager to tell them all. about abusing periods, too. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. And who never pays alimony.
There were daddies along the wall in back, and the lesbian man-hating teacher had an uzi. for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. The school didn’t have a bathroom, either.
One by one the teacher called ”FIRE!” a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, and then watch as she had him shot. as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name, ”Little Mary Glurgelover!” every child turned to stare. She was dancing! Each of them was searching, for a preposition. a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out, mangling the English language. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. ”She’s her own father!”
And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, ”But she has an alien parasite...” "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy infecting humans to waste his day."
The words did not offend her, because she was already singing her song about her spout. as she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, and sicced the alien on her! who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, she did a pelvic thrust slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique. NFBSK!
"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away on Jupiter. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. It’s so full of wrongness. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, who lays eggs in the hearts of man. and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories about how he eat a Mongol hoard, he taught me to ride my bike through the stars. He surprised me with pink roses, made out of kittens, and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes, upon the corpses of the weak humans and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. Then the alien reared up and said “Howdy doody!”
"Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart" But he had a game that day, so he sent his brother, the alien that says “Howdy Doody”
With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Her uncle was molesting her! Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. No, she’s molesting herself!
And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. All those men were dead, and she was horny. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. Aliens do that, you know.
For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. Or wrong. So very wrong.
And when she dropped her hand back down, and started doing even dirtier things! staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. It was a moooan.
"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. Beetleguese. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far and he has a hankering for angels. You see he was a policeman and died just this past year When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear the alien scourge!
But sometimes when I close my eyes, I touch myself. it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and touched herself! Himself! Itself! Whatever! and saw him there that day. And to her mothers amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes and touch themselves..
Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Her uncle laid eggs really, really fast. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side. And then he was in their heart. Aaaawurkow! "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. And comma abuse.
Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But an alien spaceship stood before them! But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose. Her dad travels in style.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by seeing their new overlord by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far. The dad offered them all hot angel wings. He had won!
They say it takes a minute to find a special random line break person, an hour to appreciate them, and a week for them to get a restraining order. a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Especially hermaphroditic alien-parasite-infected little girls.
Send this to the people you'll never forget and watch them flame you remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.
If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends. Or that you’re really hungry for some angel meat.
Take the time... to use ellipses correctly… to live and ! love. Until eternity. God bless our alien overlord!
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posted
Woapalanne, you better have good credit cause you are going to owe a lot of people new computers.
-------------------- "You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR
"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony Posts: 2246 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
I particularly liked the bit about pink roses made out of kittens!
-------------------- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Posts: 13275 | From: Kindergarten World, Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2003
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The Incredible Elisa
The Red and the Green Stamps
posted
Apparently, not only does the author have no concept of decent rhymes, she has no concept of meter or rhythm, either.
quote:Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
Not only am I cringing at the horrible verse, I feel my cold sesame noodles trying to come back up. This saccharine sap is just too much. -Elisa
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Crap like this makes me angry. I'm not going to go into all the reasons because I'll get flamed, but how long are people going to use the tragedy of others for their obnoxious agendas? Blah. I aspire to become a glurge serial killer. Then you Snopesters can post about me in Police Blotter and Glurge. ![[fish]](graemlins/fish.gif)
