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Author Topic: Another twist on "How old is Grandma"
mrs.hi-c clown fishies
Happy Holly Days


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I came across this little gem on another message board. Hack and slash away [Smile]

Do you remember.....

"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?"

"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the food was slow."

"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

"It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend: My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor. Ignition switches on the dashboard. Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall. Real ice boxes. Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner. Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

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This song has no title...just words and a tune.

Instant Hi-C--Just add water...

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GranolaSuicideSpawn
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I thought (I STILL think) that people were actually more likely to own their own home, and less likely to be lifelong renters, back in the day. In other words, some parents never own their own home NOW; and probably more than in our grandparents' time. Also, as far as traveling out of the country, how many of our grandparents and great grandparents were immigrants? A lot.

By the way, why do these things always go back TOO far in time? My grandparents had every modern convenience that was available, which was a heck of a lot more than this thing is saying. I mean unless this guy is 70 years old (not that there's anything wrong with that; but he is talking to his CHILD so I kinda doubt it.) Now if you were talking about how my GRANDPARENTS grew up, their own childhoods, then you'd have a story that matches the timeframe of this one. This guy is no baby boomer; and even they are grandparents now...

OTOH I remember milk delivery. I still miss it.

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
My first car had this, and it was a '72 Chevy.
quote:
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
I see these on bike messengers several times a day, as well as on several coworkers who commute by bike.
quote:
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
This is still the law, ain't it?

Four Kitties

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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RubyMoon
Deck the Malls


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Sounds like the 1950's to me. Telephone's were still party lines, we had that stupid color screen to put over our black and white TV, McDonalds was a drive in someplace in California, pizza was do deleivered but milk was.
Yeah, most my age are grandparents -- but not every body has all there kids when they are in their 20's. Several of my old school friends still have teenagers at home.

So I think this could be real.

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Originally posted by GranolaSuicideSpawn:
OTOH I remember milk delivery. I still miss it.

Around here you can still get it.

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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And I bet when he was a kid, his grandfather was sitting around with his friends, and grumbling that his grand kids are spoilt because they have electricity

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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tdn
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Phht. Spoiled grandparents these days.

Back in my day, we didn't have milk deliveries. We had to milk the cows ourselves. And we didn't have telephones, we would just hire messengers, with the lord's permission, of course. And that was only when the lord wasn't off in pitched battle somewhere! And fast food? When we didn't have food, we fasted. When we got pottage, we were grateful. Of course, with the onset of Winter, we would usually slay a cow for meat, but the cow was usually so old that one could hardly call it "fast." And heresy? Forget it! We were burned at the stake for that.

And we liked it!

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Open Mike Night
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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One of these days, I think I'm going to write one of these in the opposite direction.

"Oh, you think you have it hard, well back in your day there weren't nursing homes or social security. That's right you old whipper snappers had to fend for yourselves right up til the day you died. And if you couldn't fend for yourself,well you still fended for yourself up til the day you died, you just died sooner, cause you couldn't fend for yourself consarn it."

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On the crusade to eliminate Moral Asshattery wherever it exists
Member: AAMAH

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by mrs.hi-c:
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. .

My dad (God rest his soul [Frown] ) told me once that he played soccer in high school, which for him would be in the late 30s/very early 40s, so it's not like soccer was unheard of in the USA until the 70s. [Roll Eyes] Maybe it just wasn't as well known.
Sprinkling? I remember my mother doing that in the early 70s and I'm not that old! She might even have the old Pepsi bottle she used somewhere collecting dust.

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Wizard of Yendor
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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At least this version is a little humorous. If fact, had RubyMoon not meantioned it, I would have thought the part about the colored plastic was a joke. People really watched TV with permanent colored stripes across it? The closest I've ever encountered was an old archade game what used a similar technique.
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ZOIDRubashov
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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The gentleman who wrote this piece grew up either in a rural area or in the 1800's. My grandparents were all born around 1900.

They had FAST FOOD. It was called delicatessen, soda fountains, the Auto-mat etc.... Once a week, the family would buy delicatessen so great grandma did not have to cook. This was considered a treat. Then there was appetizing. This was bought at the "dairy store." Delicatessen was fleishig. Appentizing was smoked fish, pickled herring (sometimes in cream sauce), chopped herring etc... The breads to eat with this (bagels and biyalis) came from two separate kinds of bakeries.

Of course Nathan's Famous got its start at the beginning of this century in Coney Island in Brooklyn.

Grandparents on both sides of the family visited Canada and most of them visited Israel -- so much for foreign travel.

Back in the 1910's/1920's my mother's mother broke up with a boy because he believed in "free love." That was the word for premarital sex. One did not need French movies.

When my paternal grandmother was worried over whether she should kiss a boy and she asked my great grandmother. Great Grandma Magid replied "go ahead and kiss him" as in "what's the big deal?" Of course Great Grandma Magid had run away from home in Vilnius, Lithuania to avoid an arranged marriage at the age of sixteen. She was the oldest girl and fourth child in nine.

My mother's mother was happy to see and use frozen foods and Jello. Schav (which in Europe or ot of a bottle is made with sour grass) can also be made with frozen chopped spinach and lemon juice. This is a cold dairy sour soup eaten in the summer.

All this stuff I'm describing is 1920's -- 1930's so no TV yet, but whoever put this thing together did not have ancestors who lived in a big city and he's really off on his history.

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boogers
We Three Blings


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When my mother was a kid they had a little wooden chest and a phenomenon known as the Iceman. The Iceman would deliver a big block of Ice and it went in the bottom of the chest. Then the perishable foods would go in the shelves above it.

The family didn't get visited by any milkman--they had a cow. When my mom was two she got into trouble for throwing sand in the milk bucket as her mama milked the cow. The kids had chickens as pets. Problems arose with that, namely when Grandma wanted a nice Sunday dinner and one of the pets wound up as the main course. To Grandma, who killed it herself, it was food. To the kids it was Polly or Dolly or Susie.

The kids never saw a doctor. This was probably because their parents couldn't afford to pay one. Whatever happened to them--measles, polio, brochitis--they weathered themselves. My aunt almost died from strep throat and her parents used their meager cash on cold soda to soothe her throat. She said it hurt like all get out.

They moved constantly because my grandfather was always looking for jobs. He'd had a sizable inheritance but either blew it on frivolities or lost it in the depression. Sometimes the family lived in the wilder areas of Florida (remember, this was well before Disney World) and once a neighbor told them he'd seen a panther jump across a nearby river. My Grandfather worked almost up until the time he died of a work related injury, and then my oldest Aunt was the family breadwinner. At age 13.

My father had it a little easier. His father took him and his brother to baseball games and he had a nice afternoon paper route. He must have done a good job with it, because one day Jake Lansky's wife invited him in to have a coke. (But then, if my clients were members of the mafia or even related to members of the mafia, you can be durned sure the paper would arrive on time and it wouldn't be landing in anyone's marigold bed.)

What wasn't so good was having to look after his little brother and sister while his mother was on a bender.

Oh, and both grandmothers hated to cook. Maternal grandmother loved all those fancy new instant foods (no more strangling and plucking chickens!) and my paternal grandmother's idea of dinner was a bottle of bourbon.

As for me, the good old days can be summed up in 3 words: "Zeppelin rules, man."

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lukbhindu
The Red and the Green Stamps


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You don't get milk deliveries in the states? [Eek!]

Damn that sucks.

I have to admit, I also thought the coloured screen for the TV was a joke. I asked my parents, and a couple of their friends, and none of them had heard of them, so they probably never made it over here.

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Hans Off
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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That guy had a real bad deal with food!

His miserable old cow of a mother cooking him food he didn't like!

And a crappy pizza that burned his mouth being the "Best pizza he ever had"

Muppet!

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"British English speakers point to Americans adding more syllables so that they can make even more noise without actually saying anything." Llewtrah


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medtchva
Deck the Malls


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My parents are a bit older so I remember a lot of things like this from my grandmother's house.

The RC bottle.. definitely real. You can get reproductions of them today. Grandma still had her cast iron iron that sat on top of the wood stove to heat for ironing clothes. Never saw any other iron at her house.

Grandma never had central heat - a wood stove in the bedroom and an oil furnace in the living room.
She NEVER had an air conditioner.

I remember as a kid helping my grandpa plant tobacco. He'd dig each hole using a hoe, then go back along the rows and plant. He had a device that looked a partly opened umbrella. You poured water in it, dropped a plant in, then squeezed a lever - it dropped the plant and water into the hole upright for you. When it was time, he'd cut each plant, hand on a drying stick, then take the full sticks to the drying barn - all by hand.

Before you even ask well how long ago was this... not that long ago.... I'm only 34 and I remember all these.

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GranolaSuicideSpawn
The Red and the Green Stamps


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My grandmother had one of those irons too medtchva; in fact I still sit it on top of grilled cheese sandwiches as they cook, to flatten them. It's five pounds.

I'm still with zoid; the guy's history is off unless he is writing about the 1800s or an extremely rural life. The part about owning their own homes still irks the heck out of me. People seem far less likely to own homes NOW than then.

Four kitties; I knew milk delivery had to be happening somewhere. Thanks for the info; it's convenient but then I can get pretty much anything I want 24/7 within about two minutes anyway so I guess convenience isn't much of a worry for me heh.

Tdn your post was hilarious [Big Grin]

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InfraPurple
The First USA Noel


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medtchva - you bring back memories of my grandparents farm they retired to. No central heating, no a/c. While southern oregon isn't the hotest, there were a number of days we went down to the stream to cool off. And well I remember their wood stove. They had two, one in the kitchen, and one in the living room.

Oh, how I miss that house.

(I'm 34 too.)

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While I wasn't falling down or anything, gravity and I did have an interesting relationship for a short time. - Purple Iguana

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