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And, now, without further ado, some winners in California Lawyer magazine's "Legal Follies 2006" issue:

• In the nearly-foolproof-scheme category, a man was arrested in L.A. for counterfeiting after he was found with a stash of $1-billion bills. One clue that the currency was bogus: There ain't no such a thing as a billion-dollar bill.

• A former Humane Society executive in Oceanside "was charged with fraud for using the organization's authority to buy 3,600 Vicodin tablets, which she said were for her dog."

• When a Lodi city dump-truck driver plowed into a car, the car's owner sued the city. Nothing unusual about that except that the dump-truck driver had plowed into his own car, meaning he was essentially suing himself.

• A naked L.A. man "who had covered himself in oats was cited for animal cruelty after sheriff's deputies found him … in Lompoc, letting horses lick him clean."

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