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The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

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It's time for Mathematics 101, children. Today: Conversions.

Let us say the car in the above scenario reached a top speed of 300 miles per hour and maintained it for 2.6 miles.

Now, let's do some simple conversions:
300 miles / 1 hour * 1 hour/3600 seconds = 300 miles / 3600 seconds = 1 mile / 12 seconds.

The above claims the car covered 2.6 miles in a maximum of 20 seconds. Well, seeing as how, even in the assumption that the vehicle maintained a constant speed of 300 miles per hour during that stretch, and seeing that it takes the car 24 seconds to go just 2 miles, that would shatter the laws of physics and time to holy heaven. If said automobile had maintained 300 miles per hour for the entire stretch, it would've covered it in 31.2 seconds.

Now, the above also claims that it took the car a maximum of 25 seconds to cover the entire distance between it and the cliff (3.9 miles). Well, to cover the entire distance in 25 seconds would mean, per the following conversion:

3.9 miles / 25 seconds = 0.156 miles / 1 second * 3600 seconds / 1 hour = 561.6 miles / 1 hour

...that the automobile would have to AVERAGE for the entire 3.9 miles a speed of 561.6 miles per hour...which was a speed not attained on land until the early 1960's, and certainly with far more streamlined cars than the Chevrolet Impala. And if the Impala started from a dead stop, even with a JATO engine, it would have to push 600 miles per hour to get to the cliff in 25 seconds.

All of this mathematical analysis of a simple urban legend proves the following point:

"Urban legend writers are idiots!"

Actually the writer of this version of this UL did a pretty good job. He stated just enough numbers and facts, starting with the year and model of car. It doesn't matter that the speeds and distance don't add up because most people don't stop to think about whether it is plausible or not.

As for this legend, I've heard versions of it going back over 25 years now. Somewhere, before computer altered photos came along, I've seen a picture of a '67 Impala with a JATO rocket mounted on the trunk lid. Might have been Weekly World News.

(Ever watch drag races? When a car swerves at, say, 180 mph, not a lot is left, outside of the crash-cage, which keeps the driver alive -- most of the time.)

BTW, what are the mount-points on a JATO bottle? How would you mount one on a car? Not an insuperable problem, I guess, for a trained auto welder...

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Originally posted by Silas Sparkhammer:
BTW, what are the mount-points on a JATO bottle? How would you mount one on a car? Not an insuperable problem, I guess, for a trained auto welder...

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Question: is a JATO a rocket or a jet engine? At Hill AFB museum in Utah, there is a propeller driven military cargo plane on display that has a couple of jet engines for takeoff assist. They have aerodynamic doors on the front that close after takeoff. My father-in-law, a former Air Force pilot, called those JATO, or Jet Assisted Take-Off. However I've seen WW2 film with planes taking off with rockets attached to the fuselage near the rear. The Impala picture showed the latter type.

If this worked at all, why not try it at Bonneville Salt Flats and go for the 4-door sedan speed record, which I'm sure is now less than 300mph now, and no cliffs to run into for miles and miles.

And no, Silas, a model rocket up your bewalkus will not make you fly. You will run pretty fast...for a little while.

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Originally posted by Goes-hmmm:
To answer my own question with a few minutes on a search engine. Here is a picture of a JATO bottle. According to this site on JATO history the term "JATO" is a leftover from the days of jet engined assisted takeoff. So the answer to my question is yes.

Goes-hmmm"my brain needs an assist"

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Um... It's a rocket. It is not a jet.

A jet has a forward air intake. A rocket doesn't. And a JATO doesn't. Rocket, pure and simple.

Loved yer answer about a rocket in my befundulum! Never hope to try it, especially if the rocket engine comes with an ejection charge!

(Amusing anecdote from my youth: we used to go out into the pasture and fire off model rockets -- and every time we did, the cattle came a-running! They were incredibly curious about the phenomenon! In D&D terms, we called it "The Greater Spell of Cattle Summoning.")

Thanks for answers on mounting and images and stuff! You advance one level as internet researcher!

The only match I got on the term bewalkus

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Originally posted by IMightBeGiant:
Ooh, how many experience points do I get for this?

The only match I got on the term bewalkus

IMightBe"Had to look it up"

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You definitely advance one level in your class of "Internet Researcher!"

(I believe I got the word from Jack Vance, who, brother, really knows his words!)

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(Amusing anecdote from my youth: we used to go out into the pasture and fire off model rockets -- and every time we did, the cattle came a-running! They were incredibly curious about the phenomenon! In D&D terms, we called it "The Greater Spell of Cattle Summoning.")

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Which is the ceremonial precursor to the drinking of the "Great Elixir of Cow Tipping".

http://www.bored.com

JATO
Tune: "Wernher von Braun" (c) 1965, 1966 Tom Lehrer

Gather 'round while I tell you the tale of a clown:
An avid devotee of Wile E. Coyote.
Though it's only in death he has gained his renown,
His story shall live - 'till I'm run out of town.

Guess he wanted to become a hero,
But his IQ was too close to zero.
And now, it turns out, he has no laural crown,
Instead he's got wings, a gold harp and a gown.

He was much too pleased as he drove out of town.
Had a JATO from Acme® - alas and alack he
ignored the stern warning from Wernher von Braun:
"Vonce this rocket iss lit, there's no vay to slow down."

Might have lived had that desert been longer.
Used his brakes but the JATO was stronger.
He Impala'd a cliff he could not steer around,
And we all were impressed by the wreckage strewn 'round.

If you think you might fill the shoes of this clown,
And can't wait to handle explosive and anvil,
Take a moment to think if your theories are sound...
or if you'll end up six feet under the ground.

'Cause a JATO has the power in it -
To propel you at five miles a minute.
So never forget as you're destiny bound -
All the songs we will sing - once your body is found.

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Originally posted by Doc J:
Check out the version on

http://www.bored.com

where the guy claims to have been the originator of this tale

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