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Author Topic: Gag gifts
DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Do any of you get/give a gag gift? Something so incredibly cheesy that you just have to give as a joke. Several years ago, a neighbor of my parents gave them a wooden Christmas tree that looked like something out of Jigsaw 101. My brother and parents swapped that thing back and forth for many Christmases until it was (mercifully) lost. This year my mother gave to my brother (who always seems to be the victim) a wreath made of felt and glued on buttons. [Razz] Naturally my brother was thrilled; he's thinking of putting it out in his backyard as a deer repellant. I'm still laughing just thinking about it! [lol]
So any of you get a gag gift this year?

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Astra
The "Was on Sale" Song


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I always give at least one gag gift. My dad HATES the song "I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas." For some reason, local radio loves it. For the past few years, there is always a hippo hidden in his presents. Today he unwrapped one that was clutching a CD. He opened it, expecting a CD of the horrible song.

Instead he got a Bob Seger CD he actually wanted [Smile]

Mom also wanted a pair of diamond earrings. My sister and I bought a set of massive CZ square earrings and boxed them up - they were so massive that it was obvious they were fake. They were immediately christened her "Reggie Bush earrings." A few boxes later came a much smaller, but real, pair from Dad [Smile]

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This has been yet another... USELESS POST.

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pirateslife
Deck the Malls


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DH, who resembles Tobey Maguire, has gotten the same gift for several years running (today I told him that they wouldn't re-wrap it if he took it home!). It's a Spiderman web-shooter. Every Christmas since Spiderman came out he's gotten at least three Spiderman themed presents, plus that same web-shooter every year.

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If the world were logical, men would ride sidesaddle. -Mama

I won't ask "Am I weird?" because that ship sailed long ago. -Kahuna Burger

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Tequila Mockingbird
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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My best friends mum reads those awful Mills & Boon romance novels and everytime I walk past one I flick through and try to find the 'juciest' bits to laugh at/read aloud to make people uncomfortable. She bought me a book fro Christmas called 'Pirates of Desire', and it's personalised so it's all about 'Lady Kate' (me) and Lady Emma (best friend) and the rough yet handsome "lovable rogue" pirate, Ewan (as in Ewan McGregor. Mmm).

I'm going to read it, just to see what happens to me [Razz]

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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
I said, "You'll be sorry."
He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"
I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well"

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SirKnight-Protector of Lady Visa
The First USA Noel


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A friend and I did something like Dawn Storm's family for a few years. I found this horrible looking stuffed dog at a garage sale. It was supposed to be a bulldog, but it looked more like a rat terrier on steroids. I boxed it up with his other gift as a joke. He called me when he opened it. Cussed me out and then hung up. The next year I get said dog in my gift. We passed this back and forth until last year. His house burnt down mid summer and the dog was inside. So no more dog in the gifts (at least for this year).

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You have the Right to Remain Silent. Anything you say CAN and WILL be twisted around, taken out of Context and used against you.

All we need is love and beer. Old school metal and some holiday cheer to be happy.

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Morrigan
Happy Holly Days


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Our family passed around a chia pet for years. I think it's lost in my aunt's closet, now. Probably growing a nice coat of mildew.

Morrigan

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"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Robert Frost, Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

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Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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My mom and aunt found this picture of one of my grandpa's old Army buddies with a most horribly goofy expression on his face. They've been passing it back and forth for decades now. They've also made it into a mouse pad, t-shirt, coffee mug, and done various strange things to it in Photoshop. It just wouldn't be Christmas without The Old Guy!

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Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

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Loyhargil
We Three Blings


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Last year, after my brother broke his pelvis in four places saddle-breaking a horse (when the horse started bucking, he came down several times on the saddle horn VERY hard), I bought him a cowboy nutcracker for Christmas.

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Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee.

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KaiTheInvader
Deck the Malls


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One year for my birthday (which is 4 days after christmas) I didn't receive anything but a box of socks, which of course, disappointed the hell out of me. So of course my parents, being the evil beings they are, have every year given socks to me among my presents. They don't even bother buying me new socks anymore, either, they just grab a pair from the laundry and wrap it up. Last year I got them back though, when I wrapped up an old, extremely dirty pair and gave it to both of them.

I was also planning on getting my parents something really embarassing from spencer's, like a "my first bondage" kit or something, and making sure to maximize the embarassment, as a joke b/c my dad had gotten embarassed when my mom suggested getting me a victoria's secret gift card. I chickened out at the last second though, I might wait until my sister is a bit older so she can go in on it with me.

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Resurrection of mankind to careen in silent pace. Feeling lonely. I am the dream that nobody dreams of, but will you dream of me, and dream of eternal desire? If you dream of me, will you live for me? Will you? Will you?

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Strawberry Limeade
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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My mom always gets us at least one goofy thing for Christmas. This year I got the Lookin' Good for Jesus kit. It comes with Virtuous Vanilla Lip Balm, Dazzling Sparkle Cream, a compact mirror that says "Look Your Sunday Best - Please Him for Christ's Sake" and a little statue of Jesus.

For Easter we all got Nun Chucks - a little plastic slingshot/gun that fires miniature plastic nuns.

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"My artist statement is incomprehensible and therefore full of deep significance." - Calvin

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Strawberry Limeade
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Gag waffles

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"My artist statement is incomprehensible and therefore full of deep significance." - Calvin

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JoFo
Joy to the world, the Wii has come.


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My story starts out seriously. About 6 years ago, I went to the mall very close to Christmas time... with a ~$50 budget to spend on sis, mom and dad and only a limited amount of time to do it in (it was part of a school trip). You can already tell that this will end in disaster, can't you?

I buy my mom some nice soaps. Then, I go to a music store to buy my sister a CD she wanted. Suddenly, as I'm waiting in line with the CD, I realize that I'll be left with less than $10 after this purchase... plus, the school bus is about to arrive, I've run out of time! In a panic, I look for anything cheap that I can pick up for my dad without leaving the line. I grab a $5 pack of CD wipes. I knew it was a horrid gift, especially beside the other ones I bought, but my hands were tied, so I bought them.

My dad was understanding of the situation and we all ended up laughing it off. So, almost every year since, as a reminder of the most subpar gift ever, I buy him some form of CD wipes (in addition to a "real" present ofcourse).

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I'm not paranoid, I'm just surrounded by enemies!

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Auntie Witch
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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This year we gave someone a whoopie cushion and some stink bombs.

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"Feel my head! I feel like a puppy!" -My mother
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
Myspace about my mom, kids

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LyndaD
Jingle Bell Hock


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When I was in high school, we had a cat the insisted on stealing the bows off the preents. this really irritated my mom, who like the tree and everything inder it to look nice (she made sure the wrapping paper she used as well as the bows complimented each other and the tree). For the couple weeks before Christmas mom was constantly after the cat and putting bows back on the correct presents.
I boxed and wrapped a couple of bags of bows, labeling them to mom from the cat. For several years after that, mom recieved bows from the cat for Christmas.

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I'll drive it ugly. You can't see the paint job when you're behind the wheel, anyway.

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I haven't actually gotten this, but I would love to receive one of these http://www.redriderleglamps.com/index.html

It is a bit pricey for a gag gift, but it is a Major Award after all.

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"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Pfft. You call those a Major Award?

A few years back, I worked with a guy from a rural town. We used to tease him about his goat-milking skills. (I'm not sure how that came about, but it did.)

So I had an idea.

I went to an office supplies store and looked through their special order catalogue.

Then I ordered it and presented it to him at a staff meeting.

What was it? A trophy, recognizing this guy's first-place achievement in a local goat-milking contest. Engraved in a glass trophy and all.

The kicker? The "award" was presented by the Ontario Alternative Milk Marketing Board, whose slogan, apparently, is, "Don't have a cow, man!"

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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moonlight
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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When my sister was a little kid, she came up with the brilliant idea that when you were naughty, Santa only gave you little Barbie underwear in your stocking. Why? I don't know. Kids think a lot of strange things.

Anyway, a little while later I actually found a pair of little barbie underwear when I was cleaning some stuff out. I put it in a nice velvet jewelry box, wrapped it and gave it to her for Christmas. The next year she gave it back to me. Along the way we have added other things, like a little wonder woman leotard I found while cleaning (I never threw anything away). We try to outdo each other every year. I always look forward to it!

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I'm back to lurking.

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
Pfft. You call those a Major Award?

Haven't you seen the movie A Christmas Story, Canuck?

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"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Someone gave my nephew some arm stockings with really ornate body art on them. He wore them to my mother's house and apparently she FREAKED. I can see why--my nephew's arms looked like they had really been tattooed. He wore wrist bands to hide the seam.
My mother was still a little on the upset side when Mark and I arrived.

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Tootsie Plunkette
Buy a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella


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quote:
Originally posted by Strawberry Limeade:
For Easter we all got Nun Chucks - a little plastic slingshot/gun that fires miniature plastic nuns.

I saw those when I was at Archie McPhee, getting a Cat-a-Pult for my husband. I did not, however, get him the Tub O' Flying Cats.

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--Tootsie

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by WildaBeast:
quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
Pfft. You call those a Major Award?

Haven't you seen the movie A Christmas Story, Canuck?
Mine's still bigger. It's from the freaking alternative milk marketing board! [Razz]

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Tabbymago
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I knew that I couldn't give one of my college friends the one thing he really wanted: The U of A in a bowl game. So I got him the next best thing: a game in a U of A bowl. I found a snack bowl with the team logo on it and stuck in a deck of Phase 10 cards.

-Tabby
the princess with claws

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If you don't appreciate the irony, the irony appreciates.

"Sappiness and medieval violence: it's a wonderful combination. Like chocolate and peanut butter for the mind." -me on my fantasy novel-in-progress

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Radical Dory
God Rest Ye Merry Retail Clerks


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quote:
Originally posted by Tootsie Plunkette:
quote:
Originally posted by Strawberry Limeade:
For Easter we all got Nun Chucks - a little plastic slingshot/gun that fires miniature plastic nuns.

I saw those when I was at Archie McPhee, getting a Cat-a-Pult for my husband. I did not, however, get him the Tub O' Flying Cats.
Okay, those all amused me more than they should have. Is there a list you can get put on that says for your own good you may not spend money at Archie McPhee's? [Smile]

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"But about the reindeer...what kind of a nose shines? How did he get it? Maybe it's not a reindeer after all. It could be something else."

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the Virgin Marrya
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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This year, I managed to break every single piece of equipment at least once, so I knew the caretaker was due for some kind of gift for baling me out so many times [I swear, it just came off in my hand! It was like that when I came in! I put a laminator sheet in, and nothing came out but smoke... and so on at least once a week for 20 weeks!]

But what do you get for the guy who already has every tool he may ever need?

And of course, I didn't wrap it, I just added a bow and left it in his cubbyhole. In the staffroom entryway [Big Grin]

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Windows cannot open this file. To open this file correctly, defenestrate, then try running the file again...

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I'm sure the recipient loved it!

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Every year, snapSantafly puts seasonal headgear (antlers, santa hats, etc) in everyone's stockings. Everyone good naturedly wears them for a while. One year my mom liked hers so much she wore it as an actual hat long after Christmas, apparently it was cozy and kept her head warm. [lol] I've collected the ones that get left lying around and put them in a gold wire basket for a centerpiece - it's actually surprisingly attractive.

This year my brother got an assortment of Bubba teeth to go with the seasonal headgear. We had a lot of fun with that. [lol] Especially since we got my mom a digital camera and she found some good material to practise with.

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"Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit

(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

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Missie
I Saw Three Shipments


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I didn't get a gag gift, but I gave one.

Anyone remember the story I told about the Superman theme song that involves my fiancee?

This year I gave him the Superman Ultimate Collection (actually something he honestly wanted) and a pair of boxers with a very stern looking Superman glaring from the front and a huge Superman crest emblazoned across the ass.

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Missie
I Saw Three Shipments


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I didn't get a gag gift, but I gave one.

Anyone remember the story I told about the Superman theme song that involves my fiancee?

This year I gave him the Superman Ultimate Collection (actually something he honestly wanted) and a pair of boxers with a very stern looking Superman glaring from the front and a huge Superman crest emblazoned across the ass.

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franjava
Deck the Malls


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Missie loves Superman waffles.

I once gave my Mom a denture cup for her birthday. Funny thing is, since she had braces as an adult, she used it for her retainer at night. [fish]

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Never eat anything given to you by a toddler.

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