A friend of mine on another message board composed this parody as he gleefully watched the snowfall in his native Colorado. He is a fan of skiing and snowboarding...
(Here's the original thread on that mb that started the whole thing. I am "DnDChick" on that board. Know me by my avatar! )
"Baby Got Backcountry" [sung to the tune of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s "Baby Got Back"]
[spoken intro] Oh, my, god. Dude, look at that weather report. This is so huge. It looks like one of those northwestern storm fronts. But, y'know, how often do those actually deliver? They only talk those up, because, it drives people up to the resorts, 'kay? I mean, that forecast, is just so big. I can't believe they’re calling for so much snow, it's like, 3 feet of it, I mean - huge. Look! It’s just so... fresh!
[sung] I like big dumps and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when a front rolls in with a ton of fresh snow And your bros are set to go You get packed, wanna track it up 'Cause you know that its powdery fluff
Deep in the winter whiteness I'm hooked and I want to ride this Oh baby, I wanna get out there And throw some big air My homeboys tried to warn me But that cliff drop wasn’t too crazy
Ooh, the stuff is up to my knees You say you wanna ride some trees? Well, sue me, sue me Boundaries mean nothin’ to me I've seen them in-bounds runs To hell with the groomed ones They’re packed, tracked And I’m saying that it rides like crap
I'm tired of the gaper scene Sayin' that the blue runs are the thing Take the average freerider and ask him that Its gotta be double black! So, riders! (Yeah!) Riders! (Yeah!) Has your mountain got the fresh? (Hell yeah!) Then we ditch work! (Ditch work!) Skip school! (Skip school!) And we track that goodness up! Baby got backcountry!
(50 degree face with truck-sized moguls!)
Baby got backcountry!
I like it deep, and white And crystals nice and light I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like a powderhound Now here's my planned route I wanna hike that ridge And uh, drop in, uh, uh
I ain't talkin' bout green runs Bunny hills are made for little ones I want 'em real steep and sketchy So find that back bowl headwall Bro, you better not fall Beggin' for a ski patrol phone call
So I'm lookin' at a twenty foot drop Wind drift landing with a face shot And if you’re feeling risky You can try and throw a 360
A word to the in-bounds riders, all the tray sliders, and the rule abiders I gotta be straight when I say I wanna duck the rope to poach a pow-der-run Baby turn your iPod on ‘Cause “Here I Go Again” is my best song
You can spend your time in the lift line But I'd rather carve big turns My board’s long, and I'm strong And I'm down to put my Gore-Tex on
So, carvers! (Yeah!) Bombers! (Yeah) You wanna impress the mommas? (Yeah!) Then throw it down! Lay it out! Even lift ops got to shout Baby got backcountry!
Baby got backcountry!
[spoken] Yeah, baby ... when it comes to snowboards, height ain't got nothin' to do with my selection. 174 cm? Ha ha, only if its 3 feet deep!
[sung] So you like to roll on groomed runs And tell yourself you’re having fun But the fun don’t start ‘til you strap in for a powder run! And when I strap-myself-in Then I strap-in-to-win
You can ride freestyle or halfpipe, But please don't poach my pow Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role And tell you they don’t need fresh snow So they leave it, in the outback And I pull up quick and lay tracks!
If your headgear’s just a hat Well I ain't down with that! 'Cause there’s plenty of ways I can end up dead So there’s a helmet on my head
To the steezy kid in the trucker hat You ain't it, park rat! Give me a cornice, I can't ignore this Fresh powder turns are pure bliss! Some knucklehead tried to go Without a beacon or a probe I’m taking no chance on an avalanche So I’ll catch him back at camp
Because when the slope is steep, And the powder light and deep, I point my board down the fall line And that powder stash is mine! Baby got backcountry!
(Sleepin’ in the parking lot to get first tracks!) (Sleepin’ in the parking lot to get first tracks!) (Sleepin’ in the parking lot to get first tracks!) (Sleepin’ in the parking lot to get first tracks!)
-------------------- See, if I tell you about it, it won't be a mystery. It'll just be a fact, an ugly, moist fact, squatting on your brain like an octopus. And you don't want an octopus squatting on your brain, do you, son? -- Stan Smith, American Dad Posts: 980 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |