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If video games were training programs I would definitely have a maid. My Sims are so much happier when their house is clean and they don't have to do the work. Also, I would not have any problem paying said maid because I know the secrets of testingcheatsenabled.
I'm a great king and conqueror (Medieval Total War), a famous WWII fighter pilot (Il-2 Sturmovik series), a dreaded infantry soldier (Medal of Honor), a brilliant leader with the gods on his side (Age of Mythology), a kick-ass Starfleet "redshirt" (Elite Force), a decent AH-64 Apache pilot (Operation Air Assault), and more recently a Wild West gunslinger (Dead Man's Hand).
Better not fool around with me if I can put my hands on a weapon !
-------------------- Desperate, but not serious. Posts: 689 | From: Confoederatio Helvetica | Registered: Sep 2005
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Oh, man where to start. Well, the first game I played was Sonic The Hedgehog - so obviously, I'm a blue hedgehog who can run INCREDIBLY fast. Also a plumber (Super Mario), the righthul heir to the throne of Talaxia (Alex Kidd in Miracle World), a Private Eye (Dick Tracey, though not a good one as I never did that well on that game), a famous military commander for both Soviet and Allied armies (C&C: Red Alert 2), an awesome Martian Marine (Doom, Doom 2), a scientific researcher turned fighter of alien hordes (Half-Life), the most famous general on Arakis (Dune 2000), a sorceror of incredible power (Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem), a pretty atrocious town planner (Sim City 2000) and many other things besides.
Man, that would be cool...
-------------------- "The United States Government: significantly less cruel and sadistic than the Taliban." - Dara Posts: 1289 | From: Aberdeen University, Aberdeen, UK | Registered: Nov 2003
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A computerized Lethario (Sims 2) Skilled at evading the police (Need For Speed) A city planner (Sim City 3) A highly attractive human skilled in using The Force and lightsabers (KOTR 1 & 2) Going to kill the next enemy I meet by speaking fluently in Japanese and delivering an effortless roundhouse kick (Mortal Kombat) Capable of wielding Druidic magic to great effect (Everquest) Reconstruct the Roman Empire (Caesar 3)
Wow, I didn't know I was so skilled. I even fear myself! I like this game.
posted
I am a somewhat wimpy leader who prefers to acquire other nations' cities by being so culturally superior that the citizens revolt and join my nation, rather than conquering them in actual combat (Civ). Although when I get tanks...
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I'm rather acrobatic and can carve people up with a pair of swords. Also, I have the ability to move through time. (Prince of Persia)
If you are under seige by zombies and burning rock-demons, I can give you a hand. (Warcraft III)
I'm a crack shot with a bow and arrow, and would love to take everyone out to dinner with all of this money that I'll never use otherwise. (Neverwinter Nights)
And, uh, if anyone ever needs random blocks to be stacked in an orderly fashon, I'm your man. (Tetris)
-------------------- Heisenberg may have slept here.
I got an idea... an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. Posts: 291 | From: Greenville, SC | Registered: Apr 2005
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Gee, about all I'm good at is stringing together letters to make words to feed to some kind of mutant genius worm.
Nonny
-------------------- When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000
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quote:Originally posted by A Plague of Nonny: Gee, about all I'm good at is stringing together letters to make words to feed to some kind of mutant genius worm.
We all have our niche to fill.
-------------------- "It's a perfect system...unless it screws up." -Biology Professor Posts: 495 | From: Orange County, CA | Registered: Oct 2005
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If you need a person to kill Diablo, for the second 'effin time, I'm the guy to go to. (Diablo II)
I am a genetic clone of my father, he's the greatest soldier who ever lived, so I'm pretty good at sneaking around military bases. Most of the time I do this in a box. (MGS)
-------------------- Obi Wan: "Only a Sith deals in absolutes!" Anakin: "Um, isn't your last statement an absolute?" Posts: 166 | From: San Antonio, Texas | Registered: Sep 2006
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... I forgot to say that I'm a fearless WWI airman (Red Baron 3D), a roman centurion (Praetorians), and a very vicious fighter who pulverizes his enemies with exploding bananas, fridge-launchers, parrot missiles or holy handgrenades (Worms).
Ooh, naughty, warlike me !
-------------------- Desperate, but not serious. Posts: 689 | From: Confoederatio Helvetica | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
You know what, I give up here are the answers.
quote:Originally posted by Storm Petrelgirl: Only thing I can think of off the top of my head is that I have a transvestite older brother who wants to kill me because he's upset at his mortality in a way similar to Epic of Gilgamesh
Oh yeah, I'd be a kick butt thief/actor too.
Both of these are Final Fantasy IX
quote:Thinking harder, I'm a terrible cook and just have cereal and liquid diet foods all the time. And I rock at romancing everything that belongs of the species Homo Sapien.
The Sims, naturally. I'm no architect even there. I usually bought pre-made houses.
quote:What else... I'm a true Themepark Tycoon, and should consider going into business.
I was only good at Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 and Zoo Tycoon 1.
quote:ETA: I forgot to mention that I'd be a wonderful Eco-Terrorist blowing up nuclear Reactors.
This is from the Final Fantasy everyone should know about even as a casual gamer. If you don't... I'll... be very very mad.
It's not my favorite though.
-------------------- "I suggest we decide through a knife battle" "But you're the only one of us that carries a knife." "Correction, [I carry] four." Posts: 64 | From: Atlanta, GA | Registered: Sep 2006
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Ha! I'd rule the world! I had nuclear weapons, tanks, battleships and aircraft carriers in Civilization in 1332, when the rest of the world had catapults! The Greek really shouldn't have said "Tell us how to make nuclear weapons or we will crush your puny civilization!"...
I would also fit perfectly on tropical islands, having completed all the FarCry games.
My flight hours in Elite and other space flight games would make me a perfect spaceship captain.
I've also played a bunch of the Leasure Suit Larry games, so I guess I'm also a perfect loser.
-------------------- /Troberg Posts: 4360 | From: Borlänge, Sweden | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Hubert Cumberdale: After reading the Jack Thompson thread in Rantidote I decided to do something to lessen my anger about that idiot. How about we list things, that based on his statement that violent video games train us to kill. If that is true, then video games about other things should make you good at them also. Currently I'm a very good:
Wow. That explains why I've always been so good at getting across small bodies of water in the jungle by either swinging on a conveniently placed vine or carefully jumping onto the backs of crocodiles heads while their mouths are closed.
-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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I'm a better commander than Hannibal (Rome: Total War), a small unit tactics genius (Operation: Flashpoint), a spacer to put Han Solo to shame (Elite, Freelancer, X-n), and a competent aeronautical engineer (X-Plane). I'm more daring than Prien (Silent Hunter III), more talented than Galland (Aces Over Europe), and more irresistable than Connery (The Sims). I could out-tank Erwin Rommel, out-shoot Annie Oakley, out-think Albert Einstein, and out-jump Mikhail Baryshnikov.
On the other hand, and something I think people overlook, I've died like 16000 times at Normandy beach alone ):
-Baikal
-------------------- I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town. Posts: 1463 | From: CU, Boulder Campus | Registered: Feb 2001
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I'm quite good at trying the wrong key in a lock and then saying "no".
-------------------- "You learn something new every day if you're not careful" - Wilf Lunn Posts: 893 | From: Durham City, England | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Methuselah: Wow. That explains why I've always been so good at getting across small bodies of water in the jungle by either swinging on a conveniently placed vine or carefully jumping onto the backs of crocodiles heads while their mouths are closed.
Hijack:
That was the first computer game I ever had. My parents got it for me because my teacher told them I was "scared of the computer in the classroom" and she felt it would be good way for me to get used to them.
Back on topice, I would make an excellent taxi driver. Well, excellent in the crazy taxi sense.
-------------------- I am not taking lectures on physics from a man in tights. Posts: 236 | From: England | Registered: Dec 2005
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Man...I can't wait to jump into a Ferrari Enzo and race across the Brooklyn Bridge at 200MPH...since I can do it so well in PGR 3, I don't see the problem.
Anyone got $1,000,000 I can borrow to prove this theory? Posts: 277 | From: Virginia | Registered: Nov 2002
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Oops...wrong button Posts: 277 | From: Virginia | Registered: Nov 2002
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Tom o' Bedlam
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
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quote:Originally posted by forceflow15: ... and can summmon boney spears from the ground...
Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who initially misread that as "Britney Spears."
-------------------- Still I sing bonny boys, bonny mad boys, Bedlam boys are bonny, For they all go bare and they live by the air And they want no drink nor money! Posts: 107 | From: San Diego, CA | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by forceflow15: ... and can summmon boney spears from the ground...
Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who initially misread that as "Britney Spears."
Now that's a scary power.
-------------------- "My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich." "Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?" "Maybe." Posts: 496 | From: Whitby, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2006
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I am highly skilled at turning my enemies into coins, food, and weapons. So unless you want to become a loaf of bread, don't mess with me!
-------------------- Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught. My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking. Countdown: 177 days (or less!) Posts: 4926 | From: NW Ohio | Registered: Apr 2003
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[Beginning of hijack] Can anyone remember an ?educational? game where you had to get to the top of a mountain and fight wizards and such? I want to say it came out in the early 90s. It was 2D and I recall there being a part in it where you had to climb many, many ladders towards the end. I'm sorry if my description is really vague but I was eight years old when I played this game, but any ideas about what the game could be would be a big help.[End of Hijack]
By the way, did I mention that I prevented/caused the rise of a Tiberian Sun?
-------------------- Obi Wan: "Only a Sith deals in absolutes!" Anakin: "Um, isn't your last statement an absolute?" Posts: 166 | From: San Antonio, Texas | Registered: Sep 2006
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I forgot one. I'm an old pro at jumping gymnastically over robots programmed to destroy me, and killer black balls, while using elevators and lifting platforms, all the while gathering puzzle pieces which, when combined, will allow me to access the evil scientist's lab and defeat him.
I tell you, though, some of those Missions were nearly Impossible ones.
-------------------- "Liberalism is a philosophy of consolation for western civilization as it commits suicide." - Jerry Pournelle Posts: 14567 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2002
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Joe Bentley
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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I can defeat thousands of enemy troops as long as they attack me one at a time and travel in easily identifible patterns.
In a fight I can stop any attack, including magically launched fireballs, simply by crossing my arms in front of my face.
I'm still looking for the arrows on the ground that make my car go faster.
-------------------- "Existence has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long." - Rorschach, The Watchmen Posts: 8929 | From: Norfolk, Virginia | Registered: Jun 2002
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Let's see...I'm a godly, though psychotic surgeon (Trauma Center) that stabs patients to death once my score drops but can cure them of sentient disease.
I'm also a talented dragoon, red, white, blue, and black mage, dancer, bard, fighter, warrior, gambler, artist, mog knight, monk, ninja, assassin, gunner, trainer, alchemist, mimic, jester, archer, summoner, berserker, hunter, and "treasure hunter".
-------------------- "One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings." -- Diogenes
"Vote Republican! We won't burn you at the stake for your religious beliefs or slaughter your family and steal your land." -- Ramblin' Dave Posts: 3555 | From: Florida | Registered: Feb 2002
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Thanks to my years of computer game experience I have fitted myself out with bottomless pockets which allow me to carry arround everything I can find. I have a fairly instinctive ability to predict what I'll need to use later on in the day, although seem to have been carrying this staple remover arround virtually forever.
I am however a terrible builder, as whenever I get down a line of bricks they all disappear. I have to leave small block gaps in all my buildings.
Recently I've learnt the major techniques in rescuing armadillos caught in alternative dimensions using only the laws of physics and a few materials. All to a budget of course. (For those of you who are confused)
quote:Originally posted by James G.: Thanks to my years of computer game experience I have fitted myself out with bottomless pockets which allow me to carry arround everything I can find. I have a fairly instinctive ability to predict what I'll need to use later on in the day, although seem to have been carrying this staple remover arround virtually forever.
Sadly I have learned nothing. I still cannot manage to carry around a sword, shield, boomerang, slingshot, hookshot, 50 bombs, a bow and arrow, 50 arrows a lamp, a hammer and various canes and medallions. Plus a purse bulging with money.
It would come in very handy when I go shopping, as my local supermarket is always short of shopping trolleys.
-------------------- "Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people." Posts: 997 | From: Maidstone, UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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Joe Bentley
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
I've also solved the health care crisis, seeing as how mortal wounds can be healed instantly simply by eating food you randomly find on the ground.
-------------------- "Existence has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long." - Rorschach, The Watchmen Posts: 8929 | From: Norfolk, Virginia | Registered: Jun 2002
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Lets see here: I am the leader of a glorious civilization whose invincible armies of cavalry, cannons and riflemen will crush my enemies, see them driven before me and hear the lamentations of their woman.
Good to know there are some Civ fans on the board btw.
I am also a Mighty Pirate who can hold his breath for 10 minutes, defeat ghost, zombie and demon pirates all while wooing my lady love.
I can kill a mob boss and the only consequence to that is I can no longer walk through their territory.
Even after mowing down civillians, cops, FBI agents, soldiers, helicopters, boats and cars with a minigun, I'll be released from the hospital or jail after having my weapons taken and paying some money.
I too am the leader of a slightly smaller yet glorious civilization who, despite your overwhelming military superiority, will still make your civilization my bitch because I sponsored Magellan's Expedition, built the United Nations, and will get my spaceship to Alpha Centauri before you will.
-------------------- High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler Posts: 3402 | From: New Bern, NC | Registered: May 2004
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quote: Evidently all I'm good at is getting round-eyed, Asian girls to take their clothes off and swear using poor grammar (Date Sims).
But then, do you really need any other skills?
(Hell, for that matter, you just described my marriage. )
-------------------- High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler Posts: 3402 | From: New Bern, NC | Registered: May 2004
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DesertRat, You're going to have a hard time doing that when you as the former leader of your civilization are building railroads in the newest addidtion to my globe-spanning empire otherwise known as your former country.
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One I forgot: I'm probably the world's foremost Zombie exterminator (Resident Evil 4).
-------------------- "The United States Government: significantly less cruel and sadistic than the Taliban." - Dara Posts: 1289 | From: Aberdeen University, Aberdeen, UK | Registered: Nov 2003
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I'm the leader of multiple civilizations, one of which neogotiated world peace, one which conquered every bit of land on the planet, another that destroyed all other civilizations, and finally, a civ that towered over the others in it's accumulated culutural output. After, naturally, killing all the other civs on the continent (STUPID MANSA MUSA!).
-------------------- "One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings." -- Diogenes
"Vote Republican! We won't burn you at the stake for your religious beliefs or slaughter your family and steal your land." -- Ramblin' Dave Posts: 3555 | From: Florida | Registered: Feb 2002
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