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When I was about 10 or 12, I was playing around in the backyard, and there was a piece of wood outside my dad's shed with a nail sticking out of it (pointed end). I was wearing sneakers with thin rubber soles, like Keds, and I decided to stand on one foot and balance on the point of the nail.
Nail went through the sole of my shoe and into the sole of my foot. I had to pull my foot off it.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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I was dunking a cookie in my coffee and got it a little too wet. While moving the cookie to my mouth the soggy part fell off into the mug causing a splash. The hot coffee hit my crotch and I spilled the remaining java in the same place.
-------------------- In the wheelchair people tower above me Why doesn't God love me? -M.C. Evil Jesus Posts: 158 | From: Queens, NY | Registered: Jan 2006
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Here's another exceptional run in with gravity:
When I was a kid we had a very tall, free-standing cupboard with shelves all the way up it. I needed something from the top shelf so I climbed up to stand on one of the bottom shelves. Predictably (at least to those of you with more than half a brain) the cupboard toppled over on to me. I was trapped for about an hour till my mum found me. Escaped from that one with just a few bruises and a healthy dose of claustrophobia.
-------------------- Brosandi. Hendumst í hringi Höldumst í hendur Allur heimurinn óskýr Nema þú stendur Posts: 694 | From: York, UK | Registered: Jul 2006
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I learned once that it's unwise to stuff your hand into a glass (tight fit) to wash it out. The glass exploded around my hand and I have a lovely scar on my pinky.
The dumbest injury I ever caused was to my little sister. I got the brilliant idea that I could ride sidesaddle on my bicycle. (been reading too many books and I didn't have a horse to try it on ) It works ok if you're not interested in speed, you just keep pushing the same pedal around. I rode around the cul-de-sac like that and told my sister how to do it.
Apparently, in order to pull that off you have to put your legs on the inside of the turn. My sister put hers on the outside and was thus unable to stop herself from just falling over when she turned. The fall cracked one of her canines in half (baby tooth fortunately) and jammed the broken half into her gum above her teeth. Cue emergency trip to the dentist...
-------------------- Conforming meant that everyone liked you except yourself Rebecca Posts: 682 | From: Jacksonville, FL | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Arriah: I learned once that it's unwise to stuff your hand into a glass (tight fit) to wash it out. The glass exploded around my hand and I have a lovely scar on my pinky.
A nurse at my doctor's office did the same thing. When she told me about it, I said, "I bet you don't wash glasses that way anymore," and she said, "Oh, I do. It's the only way to get them really clean."
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Arriah: I learned once that it's unwise to stuff your hand into a glass (tight fit) to wash it out. The glass exploded around my hand and I have a lovely scar on my pinky.
A nurse at my doctor's office did the same thing. When she told me about it, I said, "I bet you don't wash glasses that way anymore," and she said, "Oh, I do. It's the only way to get them really clean."
Sometimes it really is-especially if you have an SO that leaves the glass that he made his Airborne in sitting on the kitchen table for hours (looking daggers in his general direction). But I've got a nice exploding glass scar on my thumb from the manuver.
-------------------- I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank. Posts: 641 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jun 2005
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I guess I'd buy new, easier-to-clean glasses, or invest in a bottle brush, before I'd risk slicing my hand again. YMMV.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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I was in a rush for school once, and as I got up to leave my room, I stubbed my little toe on the doorframe as I left. Man did that hurt. I had to get a lift to school, and when I got home that day my toe had swelled to about double its normal size. Had to go down A&E to get it looked at.
My mate beat that, though. He was in the park, sitting on a swing, idly pushing a wad of Blu-Tack into the seat with his thumb. He pushed so hard he broke his thumb
ETA: Another one. I was stood at the edge of my street, by the road sign (which was a sign on posts, about waist high). My friend and I were stood either side of the sign, and I was trying to poke him with a stick (in a playful way!) I missed him and poked the sign, and the stick went into my hand a bit. Just a bit of blood, but managed to leave me with a little scar. D'oh!
Finally, I learned about 'Don't fill your hot water bottle with boiling water' the hard way. Filled it up, went to bed, fell asleep. Woke up in the morning to find a blister about the size of a 10p coin (US equivalent size: a nickel?) on my wrist. During the night, the scalding hot rubber had become exposed and pressed against my skin - and I'd slept right through it! The blister steadily grew for a week or two, when I managed to slip over on the kitchen floor, land on it, and burst it! (Eww.) It left a scar for quite a while, but (just checked) amazingly it seems to have completely disappeared now.
-------------------- "The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie Posts: 548 | From: England | Registered: Sep 2005
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senshisteph
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
2 days ago I'd just finished reading this thread in a manga cafe when bf asked if I wanted to watch a movie. He went and got himself a coffee and put it down on the shelf in front of the DVD player. And then pressed eject on the remote... He now has a scald on his foot.
-------------------- 七転び八起き nana korobi ya oki 'fall down seven times, get up eight.' Posts: 155 | From: Nagoya, Japan | Registered: Jul 2005
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When I won the championship in '01 (I drag race) I got out (climbed out of the roof hatch) and I forgot to latch it. I grabbed the trophy and was just moving around in excitment. The hatch came back down and slammed on my foot. I looked down real quick and hit my nose against the trophy. Luckily nothing broke.
-------------------- If you think "Silence Of The Lambs" is what happens when Larry goes out to the barn, you might be a redneck.--- Jeff Foxworthy. Posts: 12 | From: Bristol, Virginia | Registered: Aug 2006
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At age 11, I was at home practicing for band and managed to whack myself on the head with a drumstick.
While inducting juniors into the National Honor Society in high school, I tried to extinguish my candle at the end of the ceremony by wetting my fingers and pinching the flame. Burned myself.
I also grabbed a cactus once to see what the leaves felt like. They did have large spines, which I was careful to avoid. Unfortunately I didn't notice the little spines and wound up with a lot of them embedded in my hand. Some really careful scraping with a pocket knife got them out.
-------------------- A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!" Posts: 506 | From: Missouri | Registered: Dec 2005
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Long time, no post, but this is right up my alley.
Ran, on foot, into a tree.
I was running, turned to look behind me, and BAM! I ran smack into a 18 inch diameter Oak. I broke my collar bone (non-displaced) and chipped my eye socket. But the only mark on me was a burst blood vessel on my cheek. Oh yeah, I also knocked myself unconscious for like six hours.
The last thing I remember is my uncle, a paramedic, asking me if I could feel him holding my hand. I could feel it, but when I talked I said 'No, I can't feel it.' My brain broke temporarily (explains a lot of thing these days) and I apparently spoke in numbers for fourty five minutes until I lost consciousness. The MD's at the ER thought I had OD'd on some drugs. My parents tried to explain to them that I had run into a tree. The Doctors thought my parents were fooling themselves. Tox screen came back negative and I got a CAT scan of my head. Or so I'm told. Oh, and I got out of the last two weeks of my eight grade year
Funny thing is, the tree died a year later. My uncle cut it down and gave me piece. He thinks I killed it.
-------------------- I've been waiting here for like 20 minutes.
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I have debated telling about this experience for a while, but since the thread is back, what the heck.
When I was about 16 I was working in a fast food joint. We cleaned the fryers every day, but somethimes had to cook some fries after cleaning the oil, but before closing. We would then strain out the bits floating on the top of the oil using a little hand-held strainer.
One time as I was clean up, I dropped the strainer into the 350 degree oil. Being the rather intelligent young man that I was, I reached right in and grabbed it.
When I realized what I had done, I ran to the sink, immersed my hand in cold water, then jammed it a bucket of ice.
It hurt like the dickens, but I only got first degree burns and they healed quite nicely.
Mac"took longer to get over the embarassment though"Lloyd
-------------------- "May you make the Yuletide pay!" Posts: 811 | From: Arcadia, CA | Registered: Jul 2005
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Just thought of another dumb one. I tried one day to open a screen door that was locked. I didn't know it was locked, pushed on the button with my thumb and pulled hard. Of course, the door didn't budge, but my thumb blew up like a balloon. It didn't seem like I could have gotten hurt badly, but I was in so much pain, I thought I should get it checked out. I actually chipped the bone in my thumb. Such a dumb was to get hurt that I didn't believe the doctor when he told me.
-------------------- And on the 7th day, God said, "Let there be lips!" Posts: 296 | From: Munhall, PA | Registered: Jul 2006
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I managed to cut my finger with a folding knife I had just been awarded by the Customs Sevice!
I'd been an acting Supervisor, and was the shift commander when we had an incident at the port that could have ended up very messy, but instead ended up peacefully. The Port Diector wrote us all up for awards from HQ, and we received letters of commendation, and a Buck knife with the Customs seal and slogan. Because I was permanent midnights at the time, and the shift briefing where we were given the knives happened after shift, the PD made a remark when I took the knife out of the pouch to, "Be careful, don't cut yourself. After all, it's daylight out." I came back with the snappy retort, "I'm a trained professional," then had trouble refolding the blade. It slipped, and I knicked my finger.
-------------------- NO BETTER FRIEND, NO WORSE ENEMY -- "I grok when apes learn to laugh, they'll be people." Posts: 727 | From: Southeastern Arizona | Registered: Sep 2005
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Once, while feeling frisky, I began to tickle my (then) wife. We were both all giggly and full o glee, until her knee connectected with my groin. I responded by grabbing my assaulted groin and doubling over, banging my head into the headboard.
Also... When I was but a wee lad of 14, I attended a high school basketball game. While waiting out side, I was leaning against the wall (trying to look cool) and one of my friends was also trying to look cool by showing off his Karate moves. Unfortunately, the floor was wet, he slipped, and one of his kicks connected... dislocated my left knee. Hasn't been the same since.
-------------------- "We take evil really seriously" Posts: 175 | From: Tokyo, Japan | Registered: Aug 2006
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On my very first date with mr. shoes, we went to a carnival. Rode some of the rides, walked around, rode another ride...at which point, for some reason unbeknownst to even myself, I jumped out of the little car thing. It was stopped, fortunately; unfortunately, the metal walkway around it was not all level. Sprained my ankle. That hurt.
After the second little shoes was born, I was dutifully pushing the lil guy around the hospital. You ever see one of those hospital basinets? The ones with the obnoxiously large wheels? I ran my left foot into one of those. Again. And again. And, yes, again. Broke my little toe and didn't even know it for a few weeks (I was on some really good painkillers for the c-section). Toe is now twisted; the nail is more on the side than the top. Of course, this was four years after the first little shoes was born. I managed to break my other foot having that child. I was on painkillers that time, too, so didn't know I was hurt for a while.
But really, my personal favorite happened last summer. We had planted bunches and bunches of pepper plants, all different types. But no habaneros. Somehow, we ended up with some habaneros (I think they were mixed in to a flat of jalapenos). Didn't really identify them at the time, didn't really think about it. They were just "peppers." Being the thrifty soul I am, I decided to dry the habaneros along with the jalapenos. So I happily washed, de-seeded, sliced, and placed them just-so in my dehydrator. Without wearing gloves. I realized something was terribly wrong after about the 40th one...that really hurt. The pain was incredible; I thought my hands were going to shrivel up and fall off. I couldn't even feed myself! It was horrible.
-------------------- "When Jesus said to love your enemies, I think he meant don't kill them." from a song by Linda K. Williams Posts: 124 | From: Rappahannock County, VA | Registered: Jun 2006
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I've worn glasses since I was three years old. Up until about the age of eight, I went through about a pair a year because of things like this:
My friends and I were playing tag (or some other similar "run around like crazy" game) at recess, and as I was running, I looked behind me to see if the chaser was gaining on me. Which would have been fine, had there not been a very large tree directly in my path. *boom* face first into the tree trunk. Broke my glasses, and the force of the glasses smashing into my face left me with the best black eye that i've ever had.
You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but my clumsiness knows no bounds. I was walking home from a fireworks display with my family, and turned, as I was walking, to say something to my aunt. Failing, of course, to notice the light pole in my path. (See description of injuries above, insert here.)
-------------------- The Wicked Witch of the West was FRAMED! Posts: 201 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Mar 2006
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Let's see... I once stabbed myself in the head with a fork; hit my head on a bowling ball (both have reasonable explantaions!!!); cut my lower feminine area on a pile of bricks and needed stitches (I was 5); sliced my finger in a fan; broke my two front teeth (multiple times)... I have a death wish, but have more lives than a freakin' cat!!
-------------------- Never eat anything given to you by a toddler. Posts: 258 | From: Rochester, NY | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Elphaba Fabala Elphie Fae: I've worn glasses since I was three years old. Up until about the age of eight, I went through about a pair a year because of things like this:
My friends and I were playing tag (or some other similar "run around like crazy" game) at recess, and as I was running, I looked behind me to see if the chaser was gaining on me. Which would have been fine, had there not been a very large tree directly in my path. *boom* face first into the tree trunk. Broke my glasses, and the force of the glasses smashing into my face left me with the best black eye that i've ever had.
You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but my clumsiness knows no bounds. I was walking home from a fireworks display with my family, and turned, as I was walking, to say something to my aunt. Failing, of course, to notice the light pole in my path. (See description of injuries above, insert here.)
I did this one when I was 13. I was walking home and a busload of my classmates was going by and I decided it would look very cool to put on chapstick at that moment (don't know why) and didn't notice the light pole. (no major injuries though, unless you count my pride)
We've been having some trouble with our AC unit (insert rant about $%^&& landlord here) so we've been watching the temperature of our computers pretty closely. At the worst of it, we removed the side panels and put regular fans on them. It's worked pretty well but the other day for some reason my DH decided he wanted to feel how hot the air blowing off his CPU was. So he put his hand close to the fan. Later he was suprised at how the fan, going at about 5200 rpm, had managed to peel such a nice layer of skin off the back of his finger. It blead a lot for such a small injury.
-------------------- Conforming meant that everyone liked you except yourself Rebecca Posts: 682 | From: Jacksonville, FL | Registered: Aug 2005
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-Found my dad's hunting knife, ran my fingers down it to see how sharp it was, with predictable results.
-Ran into and through the plate glass in the storm door with significant cuts to both arms and my forehead.
As a teen: -Fell about 20 feet when attempting to free-climb a wet rockface at a state park. Esacped without serious injury.
-Got a mouthful of hot antifreeze from siphoning it out of my overheating car for a reason that still isn't entirely clear to me.
As an adult:
-Tried to use an unstable, short stepladder in the process of pruning backyard trees. Fell and sprained/bruised shoulder and back.
-Have burned myself more than once with cigarette or pipe ash. Started a fire on the porch on one occassion after throwing a still-lit butt into a bucket of other dry butts.
-------------------- "If I didn't see it and didn't know it was a real news report, I wouldn't believe it. I mean, how nutty can you get?"-Pat Robertson Oct 26, 2006. Posts: 2936 | From: Mean Streets of West Virginia | Registered: Feb 2003
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As a four year old, my mom told me to unplug the christmas tree. She was on the phone.
I tried to unplug the lights from the extension cord, rather than unplug the extension cord from the wall. It wouldn't budge, so.....
I bit it.
My mom looked into the room to see me fixated, so she thought on the tree. Then she realized I wasn't moving because I had bitten into the cord and was being electrocuted.
I still have a scar on my lip from where the electricity burned through.....
-------------------- So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus: Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005
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When I was little we visited my aunt and uncle's farm. I was chasing my cousin. He dove through the barbed wire fence to get away. He lived there, he was good at that. I wasn't.
Posts: 1168 | From: Missouri | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Aud: When I was little we visited my aunt and uncle's farm. I was chasing my cousin. He dove through the barbed wire fence to get away. He lived there, he was good at that. I wasn't.
One of my brothers ran into the electric fence at our cousins' dairy farm. No permanent harm done, but it did teach him to watch where he was going.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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One of my favorites, which I do several times a year. Don't try this at home.
1) Put cigarette in mouth and inhale. 2) Attempt to pull cigarette out of mouth. Cigarette sticks to lips. 3) Because cigarette is stuck but fingers are moving, slide fingers down cigarette. Burn insides of index and second fingers on hot ash at end.
-------------------- And on the 7th day, God said, "Let there be lips!" Posts: 296 | From: Munhall, PA | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by NancyFancyPants: One of my favorites, which I do several times a year. Don't try this at home.
1) Put cigarette in mouth and inhale. 2) Attempt to pull cigarette out of mouth. Cigarette sticks to lips. 3) Because cigarette is stuck but fingers are moving, slide fingers down cigarette. Burn insides of index and second fingers on hot ash at end.
Don't you hate it when that happens???!!!!
When I was a wee child about 5-7 years old, I decided I wanted to smoke a cigarette. So I proceeded to roll up a piece of paper and light it while holding to my lips ( where I got the lighter from, i'm not sure, maybe Dad?). needless to say I got burnt lips....didn't get in trouble, but I did get a milkshake.
-------------------- And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!! Posts: 521 | From: St. Louis, MO | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Ryda Wong: As a four year old, my mom told me to unplug the christmas tree. She was on the phone.
I tried to unplug the lights from the extension cord, rather than unplug the extension cord from the wall. It wouldn't budge, so.....
I bit it.
My mom looked into the room to see me fixated, so she thought on the tree. Then she realized I wasn't moving because I had bitten into the cord and was being electrocuted.
I still have a scar on my lip from where the electricity burned through.....
-------------------- And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!! Posts: 521 | From: St. Louis, MO | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by NancyFancyPants: One of my favorites, which I do several times a year. Don't try this at home.
1) Put cigarette in mouth and inhale. 2) Attempt to pull cigarette out of mouth. Cigarette sticks to lips. 3) Because cigarette is stuck but fingers are moving, slide fingers down cigarette. Burn insides of index and second fingers on hot ash at end.
WOW! I thought it was just me that did this.
I feel so much less alone. Thanks!
-------------------- So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus: Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005
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How to injure yourself and your ego at the same time: step 1-go out for the evening, get very drunk and pick up guy you know and really "like" step 2-go to local cemetery with guy in attempt to enter cemetery and walk to favorite bench for makeout session step 3-upon arrival at cemetery entrance, attempt to gracefully duck under closed gate step 4-suddenly remember that you are drunk and have no sense of balance as you crash unceremoniously to pavement, badly scraping your arm from wrist to elbow step 5-get some comfort from guy who rushes to "kiss it better"
-------------------- You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling Posts: 1762 | From: Charleston, West Virginia | Registered: Jul 2005
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As a child... --Friend decided to show off "judo" move and flip me, grabbed my arm at the wrist with both hands. I pulled back. Between the 2 of us we dislocated my elbow requiring a visit to the doctor so he and I could do the same pull-pull back routine to get it back in alignment. --Tried to be a "big girl" at around age 4/5 and close the van door by myself. Of course I closed my finger in the door, taking off the tip and requiring a trip to the ER for stitches.
In High School, caught a "bad hop" softball in the face 2 days before the prom. Swollen cheekbones always look good with formal wear.
In college, during a parade in marching band playing mellophone (marching french horn - looks like a really big trumpet), failed to notice that the person marching in front of me had stopped resulting in one big fat bloody lip when I marched into him.
-------------------- Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of -- but do it in private, and wash your hands afterwards.
- Lazarus Long Posts: 300 | From: Waldorf, MD | Registered: Jan 2006
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How did I forget this one? In HS, I was in my brother's room, listening to a record on his stereo and dancing like a fool. I did this grand jete sort of leap, and landed with all my weight on the end of my right big toe -- breaking it, of course.
And then, because I didn't want my brother to be mad at me, I stopped the turntable, put the record back in the paper liner and cardboard sleeve, put in back on the shelf in the correct place, and turned off the stereo before limping down the steps to take care of my rapidly swelling and discoloring toe. I didn't even call my mom -- she just happened to walk into the bathroom and find me sitting on the tub, with my toe in cold water, panting and whimpering in pain.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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I have been pantsed by a treadmill (resulting in not only embarrassment, but also a huge bruise on my knee) and have also gotten nasty bruises on both arms after falling off a pull-up bar. Same gym, same year.
~Cab "And people wonder why I don't go to that gym more often" cere
Posts: 56 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005
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I was about 3 or 4 years old and was at the nextdoor neighbor's house. They had a driveway that sloped down into a carport, and several of us were riding our tricyles up and down -- Wheeeee!!! Well, I was at the top of the driveway when someone came out the front door with a bunch of lollipops to pass out to all of us, and of course I had to be first in line. I came down fast and someone was in front of me, so I swerved to the left and WHAM!! directly into the post of the carport. I split the area between my nose and upper lip and can still see the scar there today.
When I was about 5 years old and went to the elementary school playground for the first time and saw the kids playing on the jungle gym, sliding down the pole in the middle, and thinking "Hey, that looks like fun!" so I climbed to the top and slid down -- not realizing that they were all landing on their feet -- I landed FULL FORCE on my right knee. Really mangled it up. Throughout elementary school I probably landed on that right knee about once a week during recess. I was on a first name basis with the school nurse.
Fast forward past many similar incidents...
I was working a summer job between my sophomore and junior years of college. I rode the bus to work, and one morning I was cutting it a little close so I was running up the sidewalk. Suddenly I discovered that my feet were tangled up in something that had been left on the sidewalk and I couldn't stop myself from falling ... I landed HARD on my right knee, and also bruised my right hip and right elbow and skinned up my right hand. (My left side was completely unscathed.) I picked myself up and got on the bus anyway, and cleaned up my knee as best I could in the ladies' room when I got to the office. My knee turned all purple and ballooned up about twice its normal size. I'm sure I'll end up with arthritis in that knee someday.
Posts: 272 | From: Winchester, Virginia | Registered: Apr 2006
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Oh man, I forgot the best one! *CAT-LOVER WARNING*
In high school I took Anatomy & Physiology. The second semester centered around dissecting a dead cat. There were four really annoying guys in the class who threw livers at each other, played mumbledy-peg with surgical instruments, etc. The rest of us figured it was a matter of time until one of them got hurt.
One morning I was trying to do a cross section of my cat's heart, holding it in my left hand and slicing it with a scalpel. The scalpel slipped and sliced the tip of my left pinky.
I asked my teacher for a band-aid, but when he saw how much it was bleeding he insisted that I go to the nurse. Everyone who encountered us in the hall looked pretty nervous - when you see the anatomy teacher leading a very pale student with her hand wrapped in paper towels, you can pretty much guess what happened.
Despite direct pressure, I kept bleeding for almost two hours and finally had to go to the doctor's office. They talked about cauterizing it but finally just bound it really tightly and told me to leave it that way. That worked.
What really irked me is that after those four guys were being so stupid and I was always really careful, I was the one who got hurt. (The teacher told me it was probably just that they had more practice being stupid, and thus were more likely to do stupid things safely.)
-------------------- A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!" Posts: 506 | From: Missouri | Registered: Dec 2005
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