quote:It's weird that gift cards are impersonal but apparently Hallmark cards are okay. (?)
Because they serve completely different functions. "Greeting cards" are, in general, simply a way of acknowledging an event of importance to the recipient(s). They're something you might very well exchange with someone who isn't close enough for either of you to feel comfortable giving presents or writing personal letters to each other.
Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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quote:Originally posted by surfcitydogdad: Touche. Good one Sara! But, I'll pass. I couldn't resist saying it though. I wondered for a few years how many rich guys have received a Hummer for their birthdays when that wasn't what they had actually requested. I'm not really an MCP - I just go for the cheap laugh - but good for you for responding thusly.
I'm not sure if it's full of offers from people who want to do a gift exchange with you or not, but your mailbox is full.
-------------------- Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread. Posts: 8317 | From: Reading, PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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The anti gift carders are always missing that a gift card is two gifts in one. To me, the best aspect of it is the gift of indulgence it gives me. Like Starla's silk yarn. A gift card lets me buy things I'm too practical for ordinarily. It gives me guilt free shopping and lets me get something just for me. I love that more than the thing I can get with it.
I wish my daughter's grandmother (her father's mother) would send gift cards. She doesn't know my daughter at all (due to a lot of circumstances she's only seen here a couple of times in her entire life) but always sends gifts at Christmas and birthdays. They are always wildly inappropriate either by age or subject matter. I unearthed on yesterday going through the Christmas stuff that I think we just tossed in the Goodwill pile. It's a soap and lotion set that appears to come from the dollar store. My daughter is not by any stretch of the imagination a girly girl and has no use for floral frilly soap. Me, who does love such things, doesn't even like this set. So off it goes. One year it was an orange towel. One year it was day of the week panties, when my daughter was 13. Yes, I wish she'd just buy a gift card.
Gibbie
-------------------- If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. Posts: 3993 | From: Indiana | Registered: Feb 2000
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This thread has made me wonder what ever happened to the idea of appreciating a gift and of being grateful that there are people in your* life who care enough about you* to give you* a gift. If anyone wants to send me all the gift cards that lazy and/or uncaring people have sent to him/her, I feel sure that I will appreciate them and can find a good use for them. Thanks in advance.
Okay, I'm depressed, now, because I'm sending gift cards or $$ to grandchildren, instead of spending hours searching the stores, coming home exhausted and aching, and then finding out that I got the wrong thing for the right people. That last part was a fib. If I got the wrong thing, they'd never tell me. Nice grandchildren, those. That's why they are the right people. Okay, I'm not depressed any more. Yay!
Enough of my rambling. Please carry on with yer* griping - not meant for those of you* who haven't been griping.
*non-specific
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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Because I'd much rather have my grandmother go to Best Buy and pick out a game I might like (but most likely won't)or buy me a sweater I'll never wear then feel like shit because she wasted her money. than have her give me a gift certificate for Best Buy so I can go and get something I want.
My only problem with gift cards is they aren't worth much on Christmas morning when you have nothing to play with.
Posts: 835 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Feb 2004
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I'm perfectly fine with the gift of "pick out something nice for yourself." When I was a kid, my grandparents used to give my sister and I terrible gifts. Not just things we had no interest in, but games and toys that weren't even age-appropriate. There were a few good gifts, including board games which I played despite being "too young" and we always wrote lovely thank you notes, regardless. I wasn't disappointed when they decided to send a check instead.
-------------------- Too broke to pay attention Posts: 452 | From: Omaha, NE | Registered: Aug 2005
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Like Logoboros, I like books. There's a used bookstore not far from where I live that sells gift certificates. My sisters and sister-in-law frequently get me a gift certificate for that store for birthday and Christmas gifts.
I love being able to go in, find a bunch of authors I've never even heard of, or have heard of but never read, and leave with an armload of cheap books. I often get the really old ones, where the cover may even be falling off. I've found some great authors that way, and even wound up hunting down whole series, just because I found one book in a $0.75 rack.
My wife and I also love getting restaurant certificates, because it means we "have" to arrange a date night for the two of us, and we can go out and have a nice meal without any guilt about spending money on ourselves and leaving the kids out of it.
Posts: 539 | From: Nova Scotia | Registered: Aug 2005
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I'm normally not much for gift cards. This year, however, I'm moving into a new flat shortly before Christmas and will need a lot of stuff (cookware, furniture, appliances, etc.). With finances a bit tight, I'd rather receive gift cards for stores that I can go to and buy that stuff, than a bunch of frivolous things.
Posts: 494 | From: Epping, Essex, UK | Registered: Sep 2005
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Signora- I'm with you on the gratefulness bit! After I read the "Top Ten Worst Gifts" thread griping I was ready to throw in the towel and buy everyone gift cards. Now I read this thread and apparently gift cards suck too!
I'm giving a combination of homemade gifts, gift cards, and some other items. So apparently everyone is going to hate me!
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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My only problem with gift cards is they aren't worth much on Christmas morning when you have nothing to play with.
I know you're speaking as an adult but this comment reminds me of why gift cards can be a mixed blessing for kids. I think gift cards from grandparents or other relatives are a wonderful idea. No so good from mom and dad.
We have friends who have a pair of 12 year old twins and the mother told me that this year she's giving them gift cards and a few small items to open. I didn't say anything as she was not asking my opinion - but I know at 12 I'd have been happy with a gift card or two as long as I still had a pile of presents to open. Christmas morning without real gifts under the tree just wouldn't feel like Christmas to me at all.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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I love to get gift cards and have no problem giving them. I give them to my nieces & nephews, whose tastes change from week to week. And I give them to my SIL, who has no extra cash to spend on herself due to a mentally ill husband who hasn't worked in a year. If I can't find a nice present for her (even thought I usually do), then I'll give her a gift card to her favorite store so she can pick out something just for her. If I gave her cash, she'd probably use it to pay the bills. Screw the bills. It's her birthday/Christmas/whatever.
And it doesn't matter where the gift card is for. I can always find something I like.
-------------------- "Maybe getting in the last word doesn't really mean you win." - The Clarks Posts: 486 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Sep 2005
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One of my friends told me that his wife - having had two children in 19 months - has recently lost a lot of weight. I haven't seen her for 2 months because I've been away.
She's getting a gift card to a lingerie store, because my friend suggested that she's now needing new pajamas and underwear. Without getting too personal, this is the best way I can give her a practical and useful gift.
-------------------- "The fate of *billions* depends on you! Hahahahaha....sorry." Lord Raiden - Mortal Kombat Posts: 1587 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by pirateslife: OTOH, if it's for a wedding, I'd either get something off the registry or be "tacky" and give cash.
For weddings, I always get JOY OF COOKING, FANNIE FARMER, or SETTLEMENT HOUSE. There's an old Pennsylvania Dutch saying (via my great-grandmoth Kaufmann): "Kissin' don't last; good cookin' do."
Posts: 3307 | From: Charleston, WV | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Elkhound: For weddings, I always get JOY OF COOKING, FANNIE FARMER, or SETTLEMENT HOUSE.
I assume you check first to make sure whether they have one or all of these.
Seaboe
-------------------- Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me Posts: 5562 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Elkhound: For weddings, I always get...
Our standard wedding gift is tupperware. Not sure about others, but we can never have too many containers for food & other stuff...
-------------------- And now for something completely different... Posts: 4164 | From: Alabama | Registered: Oct 2005
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Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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quote:Originally posted by Elkhound: For weddings, I always get JOY OF COOKING, FANNIE FARMER, or SETTLEMENT HOUSE. There's an old Pennsylvania Dutch saying (via my great-grandmoth Kaufmann): "Kissin' don't last; good cookin' do."
Even cookin don't.
-------------------- Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread. Posts: 8317 | From: Reading, PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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I love getting gift cards. If you give me a gift card to, say, Barnes and Noble, you've given me the gift of a blissful evening with DH, sipping chai tea and browsing every shelf. If you give me a gift card to Starbucks, you've given me the ability to say "No, Mom, let me treat you this time. It's okay--I have a gift card." (She'd refuse if I tried to pay otherwise.) If you give me a gift card to Petsmart, you've given me time with my dogs.
We split the difference with DH's neices and nephews. Traditionally DH gives them gift cards, and he still wanted to because they expect it. ETA:I wanted to get them gifts since it's my first year as a member of the family and wanted to say "See, I like you and am interested in your wants and desires." So, with the exception of one neice who asked for something specific but expensive that only we could get her, we got them each a gift card and a small gift that reflects their personality. Like, one neice is really into cowgirl-western-rodeo kind of stuff, and just moved into her own place. We got her a pretty western-themed picture frame and tucked a gift card to a housewares store into it. I thought it was a great compromise.
-------------------- "In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 858 | From: Arlington, Texas | Registered: Aug 2005
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Slight hijack: We recently got a thank-you letter from my husband's cousin and her wife, who got married during the brief period it was legal in Oregon, only to have their marriage annulled by the state's supreme court.
For the wedding gifts, they had specifically requested gift cards from two home improvement stores - in this case I didn't think it was terribly tacky - after all, you don't find "what to give at a lesbian wedding" in most etiquette books.
In their letter, they included pictures of the improvements to their house (new flooring, some custom cabinetry) that they were able to make with the proceeds of the gift cards. They included a comment that they were unable to find any etiquette on "what to do with the gifts if your wedding is invalidated by the courts" so they had decided to keep all the gifts they got!
posted
On an aside, I wish more stores' gift cards were as funny as Target's. Sound effects? Finger puppets? Bubble flasks? Fun! But if I were giving a gift card I'd probably pick a place more specialized and in line with the recipient's interests (this is especially good when they tend to get the jump on you on specific items).
Posts: 2787 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2000
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Rather than gift cards, I'd have "gift tabs", you know like instead of you giving me a $100 gift card, I let you put it on my tab, and when I want to give you a $100 gift card, I just deduct from the tab
What?? Ouch!!
-------------------- Nico Sasha In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel. Posts: 4912 | From: VA | Registered: Jul 2003
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As a student who makes lots of trips to the bookstore and art supply store to buy expensive textbooks and supplies, those giftcards combine to make between 100 - 300 dollars in things I need for school.
I certainly don't expect my relatives to know the different in plys, weights, leads, quality, etc.
And that $25 gift card for coffee was a great gift too
quote:Originally posted by Brandi: On an aside, I wish more stores' gift cards were as funny as Target's. Sound effects? Finger puppets? Bubble flasks? Fun! But if I were giving a gift card I'd probably pick a place more specialized and in line with the recipient's interests (this is especially good when they tend to get the jump on you on specific items).
Best Buy has one you can put a picture in & one that they call an 'ice scraper'. I'm going to get 2 for my parents.
-------------------- I cannot live without books-Thomas Jefferson *~* A child educated only at school is an uneducated child - George Santayana I'm going to pummel you with such zeal, Buddha will explode! *~* Never miss a good chance to shut up - Will Rogers Posts: 6585 | From: Dallas/Fort Worth, TX | Registered: Feb 2002
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What is the consensus on lottery tickets? My family is really big into these. Sometimes I think they're just a waste of money (even though some of the proceeds benefit the elderly/senior/old/whatever we're calling them population of Pennsylvania. Then there are times when I win $500 on one instant ticket and think "Give me more!"
Any thoughts?
-------------------- "Maybe getting in the last word doesn't really mean you win." - The Clarks Posts: 486 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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I think lottery tickets can be a fun stocking stuffer, but not as the main gift.
-------------------- Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread. Posts: 8317 | From: Reading, PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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I think lottery tickets are a horrible idea. Usually it's just a waste of a dollar, but it can get so much worse. What happens if the recipient wins a lot of money? Does the giver expect to get part of the winnings? I've read more than on advice column about families torn apart because of the bickering over a gift lottery ticket that won big.
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by kitoboo: One Christmas a couple of years ago I was with my extended family of siblings and adult neice and nephew for dinner and gift giving. After I passed out the wrapped presents that I had shopped for I watched all the other adults hand out WalMart gift cards or cards with cash in them.
I usually don't have a big problem with gift cards but at that moment I was thinking it would make a whole lot of sense if we just all got out our wallets, took out a twenty and passed it to the left.
-kitoboo
I've had that thought, too.
Though I have to say I love getting gift cards - cause man, I love getting to shop - and I always feel guilty for sending them (which I only do when it's for teens who are hard to buy for because of the not knowing WHICH CD's, games, etc they already own) but I figure they are probably delighted to get them. My kids are.
My folks send money sometimes to us, which is always very much appreciated: and they are so hard to buy for that I have thought about sending gift cards for them but THAT, would be ridiculous. "gee Dad! Thanks for that two hundred dollars!" ~ "Sure, daughter, and thanks for the...uh...50 dollar gift card to Golf World." No.
So I have to wrack my brain to find the thing that my folks might want, which is hard because there is nothing in the world they can't just buy for themselves - and do.
I think this year it'll be Omaha Steaks again - they like those, I won't find them sitting around unused four years from now, I haven't sent those in several years, and they can't get decent steak in the stores where they live. It seems an impersonal gift to me, but they have made it clear they do like to get those so I guess I will. Omaha steaks probably have a gift card but if they send ME gift cards, it's just like kitobo says: let's all just swap a 20!
-------------------- "Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit
(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad) Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006
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I think the reason giftcards get labeled as 'impersonal' is that we've all received that generic Wal-Mart or Target giftcard with obviously no thought involved other than 'Oh crap, I need a gift'. However, for the grandparent who looks at their 12YO grandsons wishlist & says 'What's a Rayman & how do I know if the one I get is for a PS2?' or the aunt who knows her niece has requested new underwear but is not willing to buy that for her, a giftcard to GameStop or Victorias Secret is a great gift. To me, it says 'I know this is important to you & I wanted to get it right so I'm giving you this so you can be sure to get what you want.'
Also, there's a nice familiarity in the yearly giftcard. I can already tell you what I'm going to get from my in-laws. I ask for the same thing every year. A giftcard to a specific store. I like knowing I'm going to have 'X' number of dollars to spend for a CD or book or movie I want. Lots of times I could technically buy a CD or DVD I've had my eye on but I just can't be that frivilous. This giftcard gives me permission to be frivilous!
My kids got their 1st giftcards ever last year & they were *so* excited. The whole experience of going to the store, figuring out what they wanted, adding up the cost. It was *so* much fun for both them & me!
-------------------- I cannot live without books-Thomas Jefferson *~* A child educated only at school is an uneducated child - George Santayana I'm going to pummel you with such zeal, Buddha will explode! *~* Never miss a good chance to shut up - Will Rogers Posts: 6585 | From: Dallas/Fort Worth, TX | Registered: Feb 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Morgaine La Raq Star: Also, there's a nice familiarity in the yearly giftcard. I can already tell you what I'm going to get from my in-laws.
That tickled me because it reminded me of a conversation with my other girl cousins, about Christmas presents from our grandma - and this was decades before I remember gift cards existing.
We could always, always count on a nightie and five dollars from her. :-) Every year. We used to joke that we ought to have put it on our income tax return, because it was so darn dependable. Also she would give all us girls a bar of Redken Amino Pon complexion soap.
After she'd been dead for a few years I realized all my nighties were worn out cause I hadn't been getting any new ones.
I used to get birthday and Christmas money from my grandma, my other grandma, my step grandma, and my mother in law who was more like a grandma, and also my aunt by marriage who was like a grandma too. They are all gone now. *sniff* It's not that I miss the money more than I do them, (I miss BOTH but obviously I miss themselves *much* more!!!) but not getting the cards and money they would always send me so faithfully reminds me that they are gone now!
-------------------- "Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit
(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad) Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by smackmac: Off topic (sorta kinda)
What is the consensus on lottery tickets? My family is really big into these. Sometimes I think they're just a waste of money (even though some of the proceeds benefit the elderly/senior/old/whatever we're calling them population of Pennsylvania. Then there are times when I win $500 on one instant ticket and think "Give me more!"
Any thoughts?
The vast majority of the time a lottery ticket isn't worth the paper it's printed on. If people want to spend their money on them anyway (I do...I enjoy fantasizing about what I'll do with the money 'when' I win) that's fine, but a gift shouldn't leave the recipient with nothing to show for it.
Nonny
-------------------- When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000
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quote:Originally posted by smackmac: Off topic (sorta kinda)
What is the consensus on lottery tickets? My family is really big into these. Sometimes I think they're just a waste of money.
Any thoughts?
I'm with Nonny in principle. In practice, it's not as bad as it seems. My mother-in-law gives us all some scratch-offs in addition to the other gifts, and then she buys any winners back from us so we have the cash right away. OTOH, if she gives us (let's say) a $25 restaurant gift card, we're going to spend $30, so we have $5 less than if she'd given us nothing!
-------------------- "Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy Posts: 3572 | From: St. Louis, MO | Registered: Sep 2003
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At my in-laws', we get a selection of scratch-offs on top of our regular gifts. There's never been any serious winnings, but I can imagine the trouble should one of the SILs or the Monstress make a serious bundle...
As for gift certificates... I think they are a great idea. They convey the thought "Here, I didn't want to buy you useless crap" I prefer gifts, but when you really don't know what to give a person they'll do just fine.
In our family, it's rare to get a gift certificate. Our parents just give us money to get our own gifts and if we don't need anything, we get cash. It's not the most traditional way, maybe, but it works out fine for all of us.
-------------------- You're saying "Long Live Rock n Roll!" not "Let's go home and drink a beer" Posts: 43 | From: Belgium | Registered: Nov 2006
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I agree with what many people here have said: gift cards can be gift personal, and they can be impersonal.
It all depends on the relationship of the givers and the gift card itself.
My father one year for my grandparents gave them a gift certificate to their favorite resturaunt. They appreciated it greatly(it was funny because my uncle had thought of the same thing and my grandparents appreciated them both). The year before though he had given them a really nice ice cream maker (our family is huge on home made ice cream!) He put thought into the gift certificates, it wasn't just "check off mom and dad". Their favorite resturant also has a nice gift shop, so they could eat or buy merchandise with the GC)
It's just like any other gift item, anything given as a gift has the potential to be impersonal or thoughtful.
I don't personally think that gift cards deserve to be trashed as an gift. I think it's the behavior of (general) thoughtless giving that ought to be avoided when possible. Not, gift cards are impersonal in all cases.
-------------------- ~All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream~ E.A.Poe
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean~ Posts: 516 | From: Anderson, Indiana | Registered: Oct 2005
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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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IMO, it depends on the gift card.
Cash - worst. Shows no thought into the process.
A generic card to Walmart or to the mall - Poor - worse if the card is the type that loses value is not used in a certain amount of time.
A card for a store specifally chosen for that person's taste - good. It shows that you though enough of the person to know where they like to shop.
My brother likes video games. My grandmother is unlikely to know which ones he will enjoy. A GC to Gamestop will allow him to buy what he actually wants rather than have to try to exchange Big Rigs for Hard Truck: Wheels of Steel.
-------------------- Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!
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I don't like the fact that you can't get money back on a gift card. Someone gave me a gift card to Hecht's a couple years ago, I think for 20 dollars. I ended up using it on shirts for my oldest song, but there is about 3 bucks left on the card, if it hasn't expired. Though, there is that whole thing where the store is Macy's now...
But I had someone send me a girt card to target, which was great, because I actually shop at target.
The only reason I don't give gift cards is because I don't want people to know just how cheap I really am. But since I don't buy for anyone outside of my immediate family, it's not really an issue.
posted
I think gift cards are a perfectly fine gift. To me the thoughtfulness lies in what store you get it to. If I were to get my grandmother a gift card to Best Buy that would be pretty worthless, but we buy her one to Belk's and she loves it. The reverse would be true in my case.
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