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Author Topic: A Gift List That Would Get Santa Sacked
snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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It may be the thought that counts when it comes to Christmas presents, but an Australian consumer magazine has issued a "useless" presents list to warn shoppers what not to buy this festive season.

http://tinyurl.com/a98c6

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I would add to the list:

  • Any Ann Coulter book
  • Anything by Rush Limbaugh
  • The complete Jack Chick collection
  • Glurge: An Anthology
  • Chia anything -- why are those things still being made?


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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Giselle
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I heartly agree with the foot spa mentioned in the article. I used it once on Christmas day to show my sister that I liked it.

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Ralphie, get off the stage sweetheart.

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan under the tree:
[*]Chia anything -- why are those things still being made?
[/list]

Because there's a sucker born every minute.
I was in Target last week and and am please to report- [Razz] -that you can now buy a Chia Scooby-Do head.
I happen to like the foot massager my husband got me a few years ago. I specifically asked for it. It does make an awful racket though.


Dawn--don't hurt yourselves getting to the nearest Target--Storm

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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vanilla
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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^It's a chia-smiley!

quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan under the tree:

  • Chia anything -- why are those things still being made?

Because they are the best gift EV3R!!!!1111!!!ONEONEONE!!!!111

Seriously, the best gag gift for secret santas. Everyone laughs at a chia pet! [lol]

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I swear, it was funnier in my head.
Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink.

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Priestley's Mouse
We Three Blings


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About two years ago, we got my MIL a Chia-Fudd (y'know, like Elmer Fudd). She's a big Looney Toons fan, and it reminded her of The Rabbit of Seville, when Bugs uses the hair tonic on Fudd and it makes him grow flowers on the top of his head.

She still thinks it's one of the best presents she ever recieved.

PM

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More about me...

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Rynn
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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My spouse and I gave each other the Chia herb garden last year.

I didn't open the package until this fall. It's been 5 weeks now and the herb status is:

Cilantro - grew fast, died even faster
Basil - 3 inches tall
Parsley - 2 inches tall-
Chives - seeds still sitting there-nothing happening

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Mickey Blue
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Whats so bad about electric can openers? My parents have one and I have never, ever, had a problem opening any can with it (it has a charger and everything, so its portable but you don't need to buy batteries) and I presume anybody who is older and/or suffers from aerthritis (or any other hand/arm pain) would very much appreciate it.

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"All people are responsible for the good that they didn't do"

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qualli
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I've always been tempted to get a chia pet. Of course, I've always been fascinated by mold, so I'm probably not the average consumer.

Chia pets are the gifts that grandmothers get their pot smoking grandsons. I have no idea why.

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"I still say Obi-wan Kenobi was The Force's bitch."

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black roses 19
Xboxing Day


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quote:
I've always been tempted to get a chia pet.
Me too. I think they should make chia pets that...don't come on a face. Does that make sense?

EXTREMELY curious about that herb garden...

ETA: Hey, just found a chia tree!

...I may have to get one of those...

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"I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail

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Zero Driver
Christmas in Kill Barney


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There's even a Chia Shrek and Donkey, as well as several other cartoony lines of merchandise.
Ch-ch-ch-chia!

They've certainly got the market cornered on heads that grow grass.

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And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit! -The Tick

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AzureLion
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by DawnStorm:
I was in Target last week and and am please to report- [Razz] -that you can now buy a Chia Scooby-Do head.

There are also Chia Various-Characters-From-"Madagascar." Or maybe it was just the lion.

I never thought I'd see "disgruntled foot spa owner" in print.

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ica171
Deck the Malls


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I don't know why you'd buy anyone a curling iron or depilatories as gifts (nothing like saying you have bad hair and hairy legs), but I can think of much more useless things. Like money clips or flasks.
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Astra
The "Was on Sale" Song


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I LOVE my ice shaver, I've gone through two of the things - the little Rival ones are great for making snowcones and mixed drinks.

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This has been yet another... USELESS POST.

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Aimee Evilpixie
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I'm getting my brother a flask for Christmas... I know he probably won't use it much, if at all, but he'll think it's cool and funny. Plus it says "Jacob's Booze" on it. He wouldn't have bought it for himself, but I think he'll find it sufficently entertaining to hang on to.

My boyfriend got a flask from a friend of his for his birthday. He wears it when he gets dressed up in full pirate garb. Of course, he also has his tankard strapped to his belt... Pirates like booze, okay?!

Aimee "And my little sister got one of those leg-sander-hair-removers for Christmas last year... She liked it!" Evilpixie

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Ugg want you find JESUS!

My website!

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Giselles Silver Bells:
I heartly agree with the foot spa mentioned in the article. I used it once on Christmas day to show my sister that I liked it.

I got my mom a foot spa a few years ago... I thought she liked it.

And I'd kind of like an ice cream maker. I don't know if I'd use it much or not, but it's something I've wanted since I was a kid.

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"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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Joe Bentley
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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The article is right about foot spas. It's easier just to take a hot bath.

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"Existence has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long." - Rorschach, The Watchmen

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amydala
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by Joe Bentley:
The article is right about foot spas. It's easier just to take a hot bath.

Unless you don't have a bath.

Foot spas are great if you get to relax while someone else runs around and sets it up for you.

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Unhelpful computer tip #179 - "There is no problem with the software, the problem is you."

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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by amydala:
quote:
Originally posted by Joe Bentley:
The article is right about foot spas. It's easier just to take a hot bath.

Unless you don't have a bath.

Foot spas are great if you get to relax while someone else runs around and sets it up for you.

They are great if you can't convice the powers that be that you need to have the television, dvd player, and the rest of the living room be located in the same room as the bath tub, too. But really sometimes only my feet want to soak and not the rest of me. Plus the foot spa has bubbles and it vibrates too.

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I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.

What is .02 worth?

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Tantei Kijo
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Mickey Blue:
Whats so bad about electric can openers? My parents have one and I have never, ever, had a problem opening any can with it (it has a charger and everything, so its portable but you don't need to buy batteries) and I presume anybody who is older and/or suffers from aerthritis (or any other hand/arm pain) would very much appreciate it.

A friend had a battery operated can opener on her wish list a while back, explaining that then they could open cans during a blackout (they already had a corded one). I really felt like sending them a regular hand-operated one [Razz]

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Bender: Though you may have to make a metaphorical "deal with the devil". And by "devil", I mean the robot devil, and by "metaphorically" I mean get your coat. ------------ My sad site: A new way to be bored.

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Mitochondrial Steve
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Mickey Blue:
Whats so bad about electric can openers? My parents have one and I have never, ever, had a problem opening any can with it (it has a charger and everything, so its portable but you don't need to buy batteries) and I presume anybody who is older and/or suffers from aerthritis (or any other hand/arm pain) would very much appreciate it.

The only argument I've heard is that they gather much more bacteria from old food than can a manual opener and transfer it to anything you are opening. I've never seen an electric can opener that didn't have a removeable handle and mechanism for cleaning, so I'm not sure where that comes from.

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"America can, should, must and will blow up the moon."

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chiefs_lady
Deck the Malls


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How about a toaster cover that looks like a chicken? If you've heard the Borders Books ads, they are hysterical. Of course, some people like things that look like chickens, but I sure wouldn't want one in my kitchen! Foot spas? I asked DH for one for Christmas--am I going to regret it?

Right on with the Anne Coulter and Rush Limbaugh books---is it time to start book-burning yet?

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The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own. -Benjamin Disraeli
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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. -my friend Mary Ellen

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BlueByrd
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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(Hair curling wands? "I could tell you things about your father that would make even your greasy hair curl, boy!" Two points only, not that hard.)

Perhaps not useless, but quite possibly the scariest piece of crockery I've ever clapped eyes on:

It's a chicken roaster. Three guesses where that 5" spike goes?

Blue "My mum has an electric can opener and a foot spa" Byrd

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"A monster!"
"A local!"


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ULTRAGLORIA
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Mad Eye Moody to Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

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A Lie can run around the world before the Truth can get its boots on. - Terry Pratchett

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions; but everyone is not entitled to their own facts. - Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan

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Tootsie Plunkette
Buy a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella


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I have a foot spa - it has heat, vibration, and bubbles, and any combination of those. I have terrible feet and was glad to get it. I even once packed it along to a convention where I knew we'd be walking on pavement a lot (we didn't make our hotel reservations early enough, so were many blocks from the convention center), and was glad I did.

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--Tootsie

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Mitochondrial Steve:
quote:
Originally posted by Mickey Blue:
Whats so bad about electric can openers?

The only argument I've heard is that they gather much more bacteria from old food than can a manual opener and transfer it to anything you are opening. I've never seen an electric can opener that didn't have a removeable handle and mechanism for cleaning, so I'm not sure where that comes from.
People who never clean.

Seaboe

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Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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Diana H
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I got a foot spa one year. The water wouldn't stay warm enough and it was kind of a mess to fill and tote around. Also, the massage/vibrate thing?--tickled horribly.

I just sit on the bathroom vanity with my feet in the lavatory...all the hot water I want.

So, in the case of the foot spa...what's useless to me is great for Tootsie.

How 'bout a label maker? Now, everybody needs one of those.

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Diana

Note to self: Don't mistake being dismissive for being right.

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Xia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Rynn:
My spouse and I gave each other the Chia herb garden last year.

I didn't open the package until this fall. It's been 5 weeks now and the herb status is:

Cilantro - grew fast, died even faster
Basil - 3 inches tall
Parsley - 2 inches tall-
Chives - seeds still sitting there-nothing happening

I had one of those. The pots are so small I had to water them constantly to keep them alive (or maybe it was the constitution of the dirt it came with?) At any rate, I killed them all. My "real" herb garden in the yard has done much better with my semi-neglect, although I think the parsley may have died this year...
I also loved my Chia Pet when I was a kid. I asked for it specifically for Christmas. It was a sheep.


Hey wait a minute, I see ice shaver on that list. I asked for one of those for years as a kid (a Snoopy ice shaver to be exact!) I bought one for myself a few years ago, and I love it. Works grat, makes nice fluffy shaved ice like you would get in a Hawaiian Ice. Yum. It is an odd type I think, there's a motor at the top and the motor causes the ice to spin and be shaved by a blade at the bottom of the ice-holder, into a cup or bowl or whatever you put in the space underneath.

I gave my mother a foot spa last year... [Embarrassed] I thought it would be nice since she gets sore feet, but so far she has never even opened it. Oops.

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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BlueByrd
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGOTHA:
Mad Eye Moody to Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Ding ding ding!

You win a chia pet ferret.

Blue "It's a portkey!" Byrd

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"A monster!"
"A local!"


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BelleMorte
Jingle Bell Hock


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I bought myself a footspa. Huge waste of money. I used it maybe twice. It never heats up enough, the vibration never works. All in all, it's an expensive piece of crap sitting in a closet.

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"Cheating Hall Of Shame"-in honor of the dishonest.
Every driver, owner and crew chief has a place in our Hall, which won't be moving to Daytona Beach anytime soon. Lone exception? Kyle Petty, who hasn't won a race since 1754.

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SkyeTisTheSeasonWynters
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Diana H:
I got a foot spa one year. The water wouldn't stay warm enough and it was kind of a mess to fill and tote around. Also, the massage/vibrate thing?--tickled horribly.


How 'bout a label maker? Now, everybody needs one of those.

That's why I don't like the foot spa - it tickled as soon as my foot would hit the bottom.

And a label maker?

Those things are OCD breeding machines. ANYONE who gets there hands on it spends the day after they received it labeling EVERYTHING.

The post-it was invented for imporatant notes: "Don't touch that - it's radioactive" or "That lava is hot!" You could even use them to label other things as well (I suppose [Smile] )
But label machines: Soon everything has a gummy label on it that says "So-and-so's backpack," "DVD collection," or "This is what the toilet seat is, dear, please put it down"

As you can see, I dislike label makers so much. I know, I spent the better part of my tenth year, starting after my birthday, labeling EVERYTHING in neon [lol]

Just my polluted thought stream [fish]

Skye

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Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert

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Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I have used my foot spa maybe 5 times. And I had a severe injury to my foot that benefitted greatly from massage and whirlpool therapy at the physical therapist's office. But it's way too much work at home, my recliner is not near an outlet, and the set up & clean up takes longer than the actual footsoak. I'm going to go throw it out right now. Liberate your cabinet space!

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"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

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Kid Kilowatt
Deck the Malls


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My brother got my mom a popcorn machine a couple of years ago. Now, she is notoriously hard to shop for, but the only way this wouldn't be a terrible gift is if 1. she had ever expressed any desire to eat popcorn (she hasn't) and 2. the microwave had never been invented (it has.) It's a recurring joke now - "What's this Joe, a popcorn machine? Were they out of hot dog steamers?"

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The book says, "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
- Magnolia

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Avril
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I beg to differ on the popcorn popper! Except for the possibility that she doesn't like popcorn, regular unpopped popcorn is MUCH cheaper than little seasoned microwave bags of it, and you can season it any way you like. Of course, I'm thinking of a small, stovetop model with a hand crank, and what you're talking about brings up visions of movie theater style poppers. But a microwave is NO REASON not to pop your own corn!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I wish relatives would stop giving me plastic jaw hair clips and scrunchies, which are out of style and I never wore much, anyway, and certainly don't today.

Avril

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There is no failure unless one stops. --Ray Bradbury

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