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Author Topic: We're buying a house and I'm a nervous wreck
Lgreywolf
Deck the Malls


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I have never been so anxious to get something over with as I am right now.

A little background (or a lot.) We've been living in a little two-bedroom apartment for the past five years. In a rough part of a city with something of a bad reputation. We've been dying to buy a house in a nice community for ages, but jobs (or lack thereof) have not been favorable to that end, until recently.

Anyway, with the help of my uncle the realtor, I've been looking at houses in our price range a few weekends (only recently has anything been in our price range, since prices had started to come down a little.) First weekend in December we see about five houses; most are either a dump or way too small for our needs (we would like to have another kid someday, the Wolfcub is 7 years old already.) This one house was more than we ever dreamed of though. Seems the seller was anxious to sell, as the price had dropped three times in a month and a half on the market. Plus, it's on Main Street, which puts some people off I guess, so that brought the price down I'm sure. We were able to make a good offer, which she accepted, and the house looks to be in good shape, considering it's 100-150 years old.

It's the whole mortgage process that has me tearing my hair out. My uncle hooked us up with a great mortgage broker, but it is still so nerve wracking I want to cry! Between all the documentation, the first-time home buyers program we had to attend, the inspection, homeowners insurance and agonizing over whether we'd get the mortgage approved it has been stress city. I don't think I've had a decent night's sleep since this whole thing started, and the night we made the offer neither I nor Mr. Greywolf slept at all! The bank committment date is a week from tomorrow, but thankfully my mortgage guy just told me today that our loan is in good shape, and that we've been approved and they just need to iron out the details. We've done the purchase and sale already, and closing is in mid-January. I just can't wait until this is all over.

Then, of course, there will be a whole new slew of things to worry about I'm sure. But I still can't wait until we have a house and a yard (a big one too, yay!) of our own. If I don't drive myself insane first, that is. [Razz]


Lgrey"Goodbye City of Sin!"wolf

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"Most Jewish holidays can be summed up very simply: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat." - my in-laws' Rabbi.

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dfresh
Deck the Malls


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congratulations, and yes, it is a very stressful time. With us, it was all going well until a week before the closing date when we found out that no, we couldn't get a mortgage, since one of the windows was boarded up, we had to get a home improvement loan instead, fix the house up, and then get a mortgage.
Oh, and when we finally went to close, 3 weeks later, finding out that the mortgage company forgot to include taxes in our closing costs. And forgot to include interest. Oh, and their fee, cause we have to pay them for the stress and mistakes...
Um, I mean, congratulations, it is a great time to get a house and you will hopefully love having your own place.

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bethntim
Deck the Malls


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All I can say is good luck to you! Seems like you have the majority of the major problems worked out. This must be extra stressful around the holidays, we too bought our house 7 ( [Eek!] ) years ago in December and didn't know what to do or where to live to celebrate. That was the worst part for me, I felt like we skipped over Christmas that year, just so we could get the house.

Sounds like you have a good realtor (aren't relatives great?!?) and the mortgage process is the biggest pain in the kiester ever! My husband, thankfully, took care of all of our little details (insurance, documentation, blah, blah, blah).

Hopefully your closing will go through without a hitch. I remember having to resign all of our closing paperwork because of some silly discrepancy (papers dated wrong, or something crazy like that).

Just keep eyeing the prize, in a couple weeks you will pass papers on the house and it will be YOURS! The destination matters more than the journey.

Good luck!

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Take only pictures, leave only footprints...

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frogpond
Jingle Sales


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Congratulations!

Yes, it is scary and you'll never see so much paperwork in your life, but there is nothing like walking in the door and knowing the place is all yours!

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So many books, so little time.

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quiltsbypam
Happy Holly Days


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A home of your own is worth all the trials to get in. In six months, you'll hardly even remember the problems.

Old houses are great. They can be a hassle, sometimes, but what isn't? If you haven't already, you'll come to love wandering the aisles at Lowe's or Home Depot. So many possibilities...

And congratulations!

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"No Biblical hell could ever be worse than the state of perpetual inconsequence." Beatrice in Dangerous Beauty

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Monza305
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Congrats! My wife & I bought our house 5 years ago from a used car salesman. [Frown] He lived up to the stereotype, that's for sure.

Limber up your signature signing hand at closing. Like Frog said above, you will never see so much paperwork that you have to sign. And be ready to get to know your local home improvement store very well!

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I've got a pen in my pocket does that make me a writer?
Standing on the mountain doesn't make me no higher.
Putting on gloves don't make you a fighter.
And all the study in the world doesn't make it science. -Paul Weller

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Congratulations! Good news: It will all be over soon. Bad news: then the house is YOURS [Wink] .

You should get a kick out of the closing ceremony. A bunch of people (only half you have met) will all gather around a big table in a law office somewhere and make small talk. They will be calm. You will be a nervous wreck. Then the minister (lawyer) will come in the room (usually late, and mentioning something about chasing an ambulance...) and start the sacred ceremony of money exchange. You will be handed about 80 pieces of paper which you must sign EXACTLY the same way. The lawyer will explain to you what each piece of paper means. Don't worry if you have no idea what a, "Form to allow for the exclusion of error by the law firm herein mentioned" means. No one does. Just sign it if you want your house. Each of these 80 pieces of paper will be handed to everyone else in the room who will also sign them EXACTLY the same. The lawyer may explain each piece to each person. If so, this will take all day. You will need to use you middle name, which you have not done in 30 years. Hint: look it up on your birth certificate so that you know how to spell it. After all of the paper has been passed around the room like some weird bong, the lawyer will then start handing out checks. You have to sign some of these. Do not freak out when you are asked to sign a check for $250,000. It is all part of the ceremony. After signing such a check, you may get a small check yourself. Do not laugh out loud when, after signing the $250,000 check, you get a refund check for $1.23. That is considered rude.

If all goes well, you will then be handed the key to your new home. Guard it carefully, if you lose it before you first get into your house, Federal law states the house will then be returned to the realtor (and you have to start the whole process over...).

[Wink]

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And now for something completely different...

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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My piece of advice: No matter how much you want to hurry through closing read every piece of paper they want you to sign. Don't let anyone rush you and be sure to ask questions if you're at all confused or find something unclear.

Personally, unlike Doug4.7, my original closure and two refinances were me and one other person in a conference room at the title company's offices.

Much easier to concentrate on the papers that way.

Seaboe

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Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker:
my original closure and two refinances were me and one other person in a conference room at the title company's offices.

Much easier to concentrate on the papers that way.

We had:
1. My wife & I
2. Our realtor
3. Our realtor's boss (I guess the owner of the office)
4. The builder & his wife
5. His realtor
6. His realtor's boss (I guess same as ours)
7. The bank that had the construction loan
8. The bank that would have OUR loan
9. The lawyer
10. The lawyer assistant who handed out all the paperwork

Just about every piece of paper had all of our signatures on them. Some had various subgroups' signatures. Everyone got a check (even us, we estimated and pre-paid the closing costs and they were off by some small amount). That is when I laughed about my little $1.78 check. That was 16 years ago.

I agree with the advice of read/understand each document you sign....After a while, it got to the point where I would almost sign anything to get the d**n thing over with. At the end, we did get the house. That was nice. [Smile]

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And now for something completely different...

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FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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Congratulations! Moving sucks though!

Our first house was a double-wide mobile home and it was just like buying a car- we signed our paperwork in the office of the place we bought the home and a week later, they hauled it out and set it up on our property.

Our current (actual) house closing had us, my parents (co-signers at the time), and two bank people. A few years later when we refinanced (and removed my parents), it was just us and the one loan VP from the bank- Ed. Whenever we need something, we go to Ed. Ed is my dad's "guy". My dad has a "guy" for everything- insurance, plumbing, electrician, banking. [Wink]

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"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

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Firebrass
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I realize money may be short right now, but I highly recommend hiring your own lawyer to be present at the closing. No, I don't have a horror story to base this on, but it is an enormous amount of paperwork to go over and the only people in the room who are truly there for your benefit are you and your S.O. Having your Uncle involved will help, of course, but better to be safe than cause familial riffs.
We paid a local real estate lawyer about $300 ten years ago and all he did was sit in on closing and give us piece of mind (the repo property we bought had about 12 liens on it from several creditors, so it seemed necessary; no little old ladies were evicted in the process BTW - it had been empty for 2 years). We could have sat down alone and hoped everyone in th eroom knew what they were doing. Fortunately, I always assume no one really knows what they are doing, including myself.
It shouldn't be too late to set this up and, despite the cost, you will not regret it.

Another thought occured to me - Did you have this house inspected by a recognized home inspector or experienced contractor you trust? It is critical in these old homes (like mine) since there are all sorts of issues we don't think of such as dryrot, foundation settling/ cracking, joist weakening due to remodeling, molds, and... well you get the picture. Think of it this way - why was the owner so eager to sell what sounds like a gem?
Hope this doesn't stress you out more, but is is best to prevent the bad things now so you can enjoy the home later.

Good luck and happy Festivus!

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If I had yesterday to live over again, I'd probably do the same crap.

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Firebrass
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I realize money may be short right now, but I highly recommend hiring your own lawyer to be present at the closing. No, I don't have a horror story to base this on, but it is an enormous amount of paperwork to go over and the only people in the room who are truly there for your benefit are you and your S.O. Having your Uncle involved will help, of course, but better to be safe than cause familial riffs.
We paid a local real estate lawyer about $300 ten years ago and all he did was sit in on closing and give us peace of mind (the repo property we bought had about 12 liens on it from several creditors, so it seemed necessary; no little old ladies were evicted in the process BTW - it had been empty for 2 years). We could have sat down alone and hoped everyone in the room knew what they were doing. Fortunately, I always assume no one really knows what they are doing, including myself.
It shouldn't be too late to set this up and, despite the cost, you will not regret it.

Another thought occured to me - Did you have this house inspected by a recognized home inspector or experienced contractor you trust? It is critical in these old homes (like mine) since there are all sorts of issues we don't think of such as dryrot, foundation settling/ cracking, joist weakening due to remodeling, molds, and... well you get the picture. Think of it this way - why was the owner so eager to sell what sounds like a gem?
Hope this doesn't stress you out more, but it is best to prevent the bad things now so you can enjoy the home later.

Good luck and happy Festivus!

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If I had yesterday to live over again, I'd probably do the same crap.

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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If you have a mortgage guy you trust, ask him to commit to his institution not selling your mortgage on. I got my mortgage locally for the same reason, and it was sold twice, the last time to Chase Moron Bank, who didn't know their arse from their elbow (Hello! It's paid off; stop taking money out of my account!) If I'd known you could ask not to be sold on, I'd have done it in a heartbeat.

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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And now for something completely different...

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by Mistletoey Chloe:
If you have a mortgage guy you trust, ask him to commit to his institution not selling your mortgage on. I got my mortgage locally for the same reason, and it was sold twice, the last time to Chase Moron Bank, who didn't know their arse from their elbow (Hello! It's paid off; stop taking money out of my account!) If I'd known you could ask not to be sold on, I'd have done it in a heartbeat.

I don't really know who has our mortgage. The S&L we started with was acquired by a bank, then our loan was sold, then THAT bank was acquired and then THAT bank was merged with another.... I think we are with Regions now, but I am not sure. The $$ gets deducted from our account every 5th of the month and folks seem to be happy.

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And now for something completely different...

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MaxKaladin
The First USA Noel


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I've been looking into buying a house and I'm dreading the mortgage process.
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Hero_Mike
Happy Holly Days


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I had my own real-estate agent on the buying side to represent me and my interests. She had at her disposal a whole army of people who can help with the process - people whom she worked with and referred all the time. She had a home inspector, mortgage broker, surveyor, and lawyer. Having no regular lawyer of my own, I used the one she recommended, and that office took care of all the problems and details, including the fact that the bank sent too much money for the mortgage. It's not really applicable here, but I recommend to anyone that they always use their own independent real-estate agent on the buying side, and that they do have people with good references, who can do the extra work if you don't have anyone of your own.

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"The fate of *billions* depends on you! Hahahahaha....sorry." Lord Raiden - Mortal Kombat

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ica171
Deck the Malls


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First of all, congratulations!

As to what Doug said about signing a ton of stuff: sometimes you have to sign your full name--first, middle, last. Sometimes you have to sign just your first and last. Sometimes you have to sign your first, middle initial and last. Sometimes you have to sign your first initial, middle initial, and last. Sometimes you have to use a symbol, like Prince. And DOYC forbid you sign anything wrong, or that your hand cramp after the 487th signature and you just start scrawling whatever. If that happens, Hell will indeed freeze over and pigs will fly. You have been warned.

Whatever you have to go through, it's worth it to get that house. Have you gotten an inspection? As someone else said, it's really important especially with old houses. The heating systems in them are often substandard, resulting in a $500--yes, that's right--heating bill for one month. To give you some perspective, our normal heating bills were around $125 in other places we've lived.

Sorry, I'm really not trying to freak you out. Good luck with everything, and congrats again.

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Watch out for misspellings of your names. Two vowels in my name were transposed during the original closing on my house, and the deed was made up that way. When I refinanced a few years later, I had to sign my name with that spelling.

On the bright side, I can immediately identify junk mail items that got my address from the county auditor's site.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Lgreywolf
Deck the Malls


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Wow, thank you all for your support and congratulations. I really did need to get that off my chest. It's all so exciting and stressful all at the same time. Now that I've had some reassurances that things are going smoothly (my uncle also called to tell me everything looked good) I'm a little better. I still won't be sleeping well, but it's a start!

Firebrass, welcome to the board! Thank you for your excellent advice, we are actually having our lawyer work the closing for us. He's a friend of my in-laws and a real estate lawyer to boot! He's been great, and my uncle is thrilled to add him to his resource list.

We have had the house inspected; a company my uncle has worked with many times. There are a few issues; we have to add or fix some rain gutters, replace wood beams in the basement with lolly columns (however that's spelled) but overall the house came out looking really good.

I guess that's part of the anxiety. It all seems too good to be true! We didn't even want to tell anyone right away, for fear of jinxing something. The seller has also been great; part of the original agreement was that she would leave the washer, dryer and refrigerator! Which means no more laundromat (except in cases of malfunction)! They're fairly new too, and it just seems like we got incredibly lucky. My uncle says it's fate, but I can't relax until we're all moved in.


On the topic of signing: Mr. Greywolf's signature is more of a symbol than anything else. How will that affect documents where first, middle and last names are required? Mine is almost unchanged from when I first learned cursive, but I hope his won't be a problem. The purchase and sale signatures seemed to be acceptable.

By the way, if anyone needs a buyer's agent (or a seller's agent) in the Boston area, PM me. He's been a lifesaver, and I've thanked him profusely for all his help, but he just says he does the same for all his clients. If that's true, he's among the best out there.

(P.S. snopes, I hope the above is okay, since I didn't mention a name or company. If not, let me know and I'll delete it.)

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"Most Jewish holidays can be summed up very simply: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat." - my in-laws' Rabbi.

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Lgreywolf, my signature is completely illegible. It theoretically includes all three of my names, but I really only sketch out the initials and don't do that very clearly. Your husband's signature shouldn't be a problem.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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frogpond
Jingle Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
Lgreywolf, my signature is completely illegible. It theoretically includes all three of my names, but I really only sketch out the initials and don't do that very clearly. Your husband's signature shouldn't be a problem.

My signature is illegible, even to other left-handers, as well. It didn't cause any problems with either of my house purchases.

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So many books, so little time.

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Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by MaxKaladin:
I've been looking into buying a house and I'm dreading the mortgage process.

I would recommend that you look into getting pre-approved for the mortgage. It makes the process easier, plus it gives you a distinct advantage over other buyers if you bid on a house that has multiple offers, as you won't be held up by the whole mortgage approval process, and sellers prefer that. And you know going in to your house search what is the max amount you can spend on a house.

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Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

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Lgreywolf
Deck the Malls


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Man, I know it's going to be worth all the hassle when we finally have our own place, but I do wish it was over and done with. I would guess part of the reason not many people buy houses around the holidays is the fact that so many people take days off; I've been trying to get in touch with the insurance agent making up our homeowner's insurance, and I couldn't reach anyone on Friday, and she's not in today. That should be all right, I can talk to her tomorrow, and maybe have Mr. Greywolf drop off the signed application this week (he's a teacher, he has the week off to pack for the move.)

I'm just exhausted from all the paperwork, and faxing this and asking for that, and contacting people who may or may not be working, and the endless questions we keep thinking up. I keep having the unpleasant feeling that I ask more stupid questions than any other first-time home buyer; I know that's probably (hopefully) not true, but I feel like such a novice. We also have to take care of formally notifying our landlord (we've got a Tenant-at-Will agreement, so no lease to worry about, just a 30-day notice.) I'll be glad when there's not so much pressure, but at least things seem to be on the right track.

Two and a half weeks until closing. Let's hope what's left of my sanity hangs in there.


Lgrey"not that there was much to begin with"wolf

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"Most Jewish holidays can be summed up very simply: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat." - my in-laws' Rabbi.

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Lgreywolf
Deck the Malls


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Freakin' hell, I am gonna end up screwing us over one of these days!

I almost didn't send in the damn committment letter on time. I apparently got it last Thursday, didn't know what it was, got no instructions on it (it was an add on to a previous e-mail from the mortgage guy with no explanation and the exact same subject line), and it was a Tif file, which I don't have much experience with. So, when I opened it at first it just looked really weird, and I didn't realize that it went to three pages and had to be signed and returned. I definintely didn't realize it had to be back at the bank by yesterday. That's when I finally printed the stupid thing out at work, and figured I'd get home, have Mr. Greywolf sign it and fax it from work in the morning. Instead, I'm rushing in a panic to Staples at 6:30 pm to get it to our broker (who doesn't seem to answer or return my calls or e-mails unless I'm frantic; that is really getting on my nerves.)

I've been terrified since this whole thing started that I'd screw it up somehow. I'm still scared that my stupidity is going to end up costing us the house, and we really need to move out of where we are. Not to mention the Wolfcub is thrilled at the prospect of a house and back yard of our own, especially a house big enough to have sleepovers in. If I end up disappointing her I honestly don't know what I'll do. I know I'll end up wanting to shoot myself out of guilt, but that would just hurt her more, so no need to worry about that.

I'm not cut out for this kind of complicated sh*t. I don't have the brains for it, or the common sense, and I'm sure the mortgage broker is sick of having to hold my hand through the whole process; he doesn't realize that I need everything explained to me, preferably in advance of when I need to do it. Christ, it will take a miracle to get through the whole process at this point. I seriously am not up to anything as complicated as buying a house. Can someone tell me why it has to be so god damned complicated?!


Lgrey"brain damage would likely improve my thinking power"wolf

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"Most Jewish holidays can be summed up very simply: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat." - my in-laws' Rabbi.

Posts: 430 | From: North of Boston, MA | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Auntie Witch
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Wow. I just realized how much we lucked out in buying from our banker's FIL. We had a gazillion bits of paper to sign, but it was a casual, "I'm going hunting with your dad on Saturday, so if you really want that house, let me know and I'll draw up the papers for you to sign."

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"Feel my head! I feel like a puppy!" -My mother
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
Myspace about my mom, kids

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abbubmah
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by frogpond:
there is nothing like walking in the door and knowing the place is all yours!

Absolutely. However, the doorknob on Green Acres always comes to mind.

Congratulations. It is always good to know you have been owned by a house. And a bank.

Several times. [Big Grin]

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Fundamentally Unfundie since 1975

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Menolly
We Three Blings


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Congrats, Lgreywolf. There's nothing like home ownership.

Ahem, that said, you're doing fine. A little equation for ya:

If: All that worry = -(sleep) + nervous energy = adrenaline.
Then: adrenaline + coffee = (what you'll need)*5

to keep packing for the move. Yep, you're about primed now. Hang in there!

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Let's just pretend we're normal for a minute ~ New favorite T-shirt quote

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Lgreywolf
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Menolly:
Ahem, that said, you're doing fine.

That really feels good to hear. It felt good last night when Mr. Greywolf said it too. Thanks Menolly. And thank you everyone for your support.

I just don't think I've ever felt this stupid in my whole life-and that's saying something. Today it was confusion over rates and points bought or possibly to still buy, and dealing with the moving company, and figuring out where all the money is going based on a really early estimate.

Like I said, I'm not cut out for this kind of complex thing. Almost makes me want to just chuck the whole deal. But not really; we've come way too far and have way too much at stake for me to bail now, as crazy as I'm getting. Jeez, I'm going to need some major recouperating time when all is said and done. Not likely I'll be able to take it though. *sigh*

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"Most Jewish holidays can be summed up very simply: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat." - my in-laws' Rabbi.

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