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Author Topic: Why can't you finish what you start?
Christie
The Bills of St. Mary's


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I'd forgotten how annoying my husband can be! He's been home a week, one little week, and the house is in chaos. He starts projects then goes off for a coffee and never gets back to them. The basement is now a sea of opened boxes with half the contents strewn around. He started painting the downstairs bathroom (tiny little room) last Monday and finished it last night - well almost finished! He insisted we have two trees this Christmas, has set up the trees and left all the boxes and boxes of decorations all over the dining room and living room. Since last Sunday.

Me telling him I didn't have time to decorate two trees was dismissed with "don't worry honey I'll do it" Arrggghhh. Guess who will be doing the trees this afternoon? And I'm only doing it because he invited my parents to a big turkey dinner tomorrow and has now gone off to Montreal to visit his father today. So if I don't do it the house will look like hell and I want it to look nice for my parents.

I love him to bits, really I do, but I really think I may have to kill him [Big Grin] .

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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr

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bethntim
Deck the Malls


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Let me know when you kill your husband, we can bury mine with yours in the same grave. I feel your pain. He starts something and he actually finishes it but never puts up what he used. When he mows the grass he leaves the mower out on the yard with the weed eater and the edger. When he makes a sandwich, he leaves the bread and lunch meat on the counter. When he takes a shower the clothes go in front of the hamper instead of inside. kill...kill...kill...
[Big Grin]

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Take only pictures, leave only footprints...

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Wellen
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Hmmm. Maybe when I get home I should finish the shower stall I've been putting in for the last 4 years and the garage that I started painting last summer before my wife reads this.....
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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord,
I pray for:
Wisdom
To understand a man,
Love
To forgive him, and
Patience
For his moods -
Because, Lord,
If I pray for
Strength,
I'll just beat him to death.


This seemed somehow appropriate here. [lol]

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"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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Andrew of Ware, England
A-Ware in a Manger


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Not all men are like that. Whenever I start something I always

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Andrew, Ware, England

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Lady Moon
Jingle Bell Hock


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Andrew, YOMANK!! [lol]

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"We've got a fifth member of the band round here, and he's DEFINITELY out of tune!" -- Keith Moon

"If I had a thousand quid for every time I've introduced this song --- oh, I do!" -- John Entwistle

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Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Andrew, Y also OMANK! And, ladies, at least your DH starts the things -- mine is king of the eternal promises -- he's always GOING to do something -- tomorrow or next weekend or the weekend after that -- drives me absolutely bonkers!

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Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

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Flaming June
Deck the Malls


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My husband's latest thing is sweeping the floor, leaving neat little piles of dust around the house, and then wondering aloud why the house is always a mess.

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Metaphors be with you!

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Horse Chestnut
Happy Holly Days


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Think of how many marriages could be saved with just a little Ritalin.
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Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Or a really big club.

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Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

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Elkhound
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Jocko's Jolly:
Or a really big club.

There is a story in my family that when my grandparents first got married, they didn't have a rolling pin. When Grandfather's mother came over and found her daughter-in-law rolling out pie crust with an empty bottle, she went out and bought rolling pin--which she gave to her son, saying that it would not be proper to give a daughter-in-law a weapon.

Some years ago I was at the Metrolina Expo--for those who don't know it, this is a huge antiques & collectibles fair in Charlotte, NC on the first and third weekends of each month--in one booth I saw a HUGE rolling pin on a stand labled 'husband tamer.'

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"The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart."--Iris Murdoch

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LyndaD
Jingle Bell Hock


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My dad was the king of unfinished projects. Some of his projects, such as a built-in bookcase/cabinet combo with a space for the TV, actually were torn out and replaced before being finished.

I wrote a poem about it in high school, titled 'Next Summer' because he was always going to finish the project 'next summer', but next summer never comes....

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I'll drive it ugly. You can't see the paint job when you're behind the wheel, anyway.

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Wellen
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I think what upsets my wife so much is all the new tools I go buy to finish the projects. She is getting smarter though. She figured out I really didn't need a router to finish the shower.
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EeyoreCorbie
I Saw Three Shipments


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While my Dad is normally very single minded about things, even going so far as to finish other peoples projects if not done to his satisfaction, there was one that took a while. He promised my Mom to build her a grandmother clock for their first anniversary. He didn't finish it until she was a grandmother. He dragged all the wood and parts through five states and countless moves while in the navy.

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It sure is bright in the dark future.
"He carries his anger around like a dead skunk."
Ignorance is sad. Willfull ignorance is bad. Willfully spreading ignorance is evil.

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Purple Iguana
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Nope... all you really need is a HUGE trash can... or possibly a small dumpster... and go through the house with a snow shovel, cleaning up behind him.

You'll really want that snow shovel for when he says, "HEY! I was in the middle of that!" Ya know... so you can whack him one over the head. [Wink]

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They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

If I manage to post something swipe-worthy that you would like to make your sig, you may do so with my blessing.

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dewey
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I am the perfect husband. I never start anything. Really, I know myself well enough to know that I don't finish projects. I now hire someone to do anything that must be done. Ms. dewey is actually impressed that I am able to do that much.

dewey

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I'm impressed, too, dewey.
My husband hates to pay someone else to do what he "can" do himself...
That being said, we still don't have that second bathroom after almost 12 years in the house... If he waits a few more years the youngest daughter will be gone,too, and it will just be the two of us. Don't really need a second bathroom for only two people, right?

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Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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My wife has the opposite problem. She starts things without realizing that she won't have time to finish them. She is one of those people who gets pumped up while she is in the middle of something, so she finishes it even if she has to stay way past her bedtime.

Sometimes, she pulls me into something and I start falling off to sleep because I'm bone-tired. It takes a lot of effort for me to prioritize weekend tasks for both of us. Otherwise, weekends are more tiring than weekdays!! I swear, Monday is relaxing for me at work.

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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We bought a fixer-upper 12 years ago.

* Started remodel, moving hallway where a bedroom was, moved bedroom to where hallway was, 12 years ago in anticipation of Kid #1. Bedroom and hallway still without baseboards, despite repainting and redecorating said bedroom last October.

* Remodeled (built closet, added windows, removed paneling and replaced w/drywall) second bedroom in anticipation of Kid #2 8.5 years ago. Said room is still without baseboards, and is ready for redecorating and repainting, probably next summer.

* Removed wall between front room and dining room 7 years ago, which necessitated removal of carpeting and refinishing of wood floor underneath. Said wood floor did not extend to entry way, which is just plywood. Large area rug covers most of that. Getting ready to replace area rug due to wear for the second time. All paneling removed and replaced with drywall. No baseboards in this area either (see the theme?).

* Poured concrete slabs for patio area 6 years ago, spacing slabs with bricks. Bricks set on a base of sand, not cemented or mortared in, so sand could settle. Apparently still settling. New concrete walkway poured this summer, bricks concreted in (by me), but not yet mortared.

* New fence put in this past spring, except along backside of property. Next spring. Really. After concrete slabs are poured back there.

* Upstairs bathtub cracked and leaked 10 years ago. Crack repaired, new tile installed. Tub cracked again 3 years ago. Surround in front of tub dismanteled. Sill dismanteled, no servicible tub/shower upstairs.

* Downstairs tub surround was awful when we moved in, falling apart and impossible to clean. 4 years ago, it was removed, as well as the tub. New set installed. Due to new stuff, new vanity and cabinets required, as the new tub is configured and sized differently. New cabinets and vanity purchased 2 years ago. Still in boxes, moved from front room to back house last year.

* New roof required on back house 12 years ago when we moved in. New roof/trim finally installed this summer. Soffets still not made.

* New siding for front and back house on site. Window that Kid #2 threw a golfball through this summer held together by packing tape, as it is scheduled to be replaced with a different size "when we re-side". A leak seeping in from siding when the rain is driving has caused stains on the family room wall. I will not repaint the family room, which badly needs it, until siding is replaced. Learned that lesson on upstairs tub leak.

* Front lawn needs to be brought down by about 18" to match level of surrounding concrete. Front lawn brought down by that amount for sidewalk that was poured this year, and for tree area that was created at front of property. The rest will be done "this winter". Along with a new sprinkler system.

2 months ago, DH dragged home a Jeep for a new "project". 'Cause clearly, he needed one.

If I didn't love him so much, I'd kill him.

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"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I always finish what I start. Granted, a span of weeks umm months. Ok, years or even decades may come between the start and finish but they get done... Eventually!

House repairs that I do myself will usually get done that day or at least within a reasonable time for the project.

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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One of the continued and painful reminders of my exH is the unfinished projects around the house.

Thank the goddess for my Dad, who comes down once in awhile to help me finish them.

"Sweat equity" sounded like a nice thing at the time.

The thing is what to do? I didn't want to nag. It turns out I should have. Perhaps he would have left earlier and there would have been fewer things started but left undone...

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There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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smackmac
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
If I didn't love him so much, I'd kill him.
Sums it up perfectly.

I have not had finished walls in my living room since 2001.

There is a room wide hole in our living room, now covered by the back end of the sofa & love seat.

We had a ditch in our yard on the way to the pool (he was putting in drainage) for three years. You had to cross a board to get to the pool.

We have a ditch now the full width of our flat property (more drainage), but that's only been about 6 months.

He started running new duct work in 2001; still got the dull shiny metal running up the (unfinished in the living room; finished in the kitchen) walls, which is where I hang my Christmas cards.

The molding in the kitchen took 12 years to go up, then was removed when he decided to run duct work 2 years later.

The system to open our driveway gate by phone has been awaiting installation since 2002.

The pipes started dripping in the sink in the main bathroom about 6 months ago. He was fixing it the following week. Finally, I just turned the water off and we do everything in the tub.

Of course, if our house is a wreck, I don't have to have family gatherings. [Big Grin]

My personal favorite: his sister asked him to restore her '67 Mustang in 1994. The chassis is in primer on a spit in our garage. DOYC knows where the rest of the parts are. I laughingly told his sister that she would have her car when her daughter can drive and she got rather pissed. Her daughter turns 16 in 2009.

eta: I forgot about the '68 Charger needing restoration, the '70 Challenger needing restoration, the '78 Ford F250 needing restoration and the Ford dump truck that is currently spread out between 3 locations - his mother's garage, his work, and our garage.

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"Maybe getting in the last word doesn't really mean you win." - The Clarks

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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You guys are making me feel a lot better...

I didn't mention the two boats and golf cart that need work. Or the 4 cows that he decided we needed to buy. The cows are in a lot next to my dad's house - 35 miles away. Which means a trip every other day at least. It was a trip a day while we were building fence and gates....

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Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Monza305
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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My Dad never finished anything he started, unless it was a necessity. Even when he did, it was usually finished half-ass. I begged him to panel my room so I didn't have to stare at the big holes in the plaster. He got about half of it done, then there was about a 6 month delay. When he finally finished (after much begging), he was trying to be quick, so he started measuring things out to the nearest inch...yes it looked like ass. He never did completly finish it by adding the corner trim.

I know I'm like him, that's why I try not to start big projects, unless I get lots of help from my Wife. She's a little better at finishing things than I am, but not much. The biggest project we've done at my house was building the big wooden playset for my daughter, and that still took over a month. Not bad for a couple of rookies who never built anything with wood like that.

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I've got a pen in my pocket does that make me a writer?
Standing on the mountain doesn't make me no higher.
Putting on gloves don't make you a fighter.
And all the study in the world doesn't make it science. -Paul Weller

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Remarkgullabull
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Well, there are some things us guys finish and usually pretty quick. [Big Grin]

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Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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Gibbie
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I love my husband. We have no unfinished projects because he knows how to pay contractors. [Big Grin]

Gibbie

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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

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Purple Iguana
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Is there a law that says only men are handy for doing home repairs? Sure, if the hubby starts a project, it'd be just dandy of him to finish it, but women are perfectly capable of wielding a hammer or a screwdriver or a paintbrush or a caulking gun. Home Depot even teaches classes.

Of course, in my dinky-ass school, I took 2 years of Wood Shop (which they tried to make sound more glamorous by calling it "Industrial Arts") because I didn't want to learn how to cook and sew in Home Ec. The first year, I was the only girl. The second year, I was 1 of 2. Cut my thumb with a coping saw once and near laughed my ass off when the teacher (ALL injuries had to be reported) asked me, "do you faint at the sight of blood?"

To this day, a tiny little part of me wants to buy a table saw and a power sander and...

Purple--of course, I'd also like a 3-car garage to put it all in!--Iguana

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They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

If I manage to post something swipe-worthy that you would like to make your sig, you may do so with my blessing.

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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PI, I took machine shop in high school. I was the only girl in many years to make it through all 4 years.

I do most of the home improvement projects at home. I have a number of reasons. Hubby works up to 65 hours a week, I'm a SAHM, and as much as I love Hubby, he seems to find the hardest way to do things.

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Purple Iguana:
Is there a law that says only men are handy for doing home repairs? Sure, if the hubby starts a project, it'd be just dandy of him to finish it, but women are perfectly capable of wielding a hammer or a screwdriver or a paintbrush or a caulking gun. Home Depot even teaches classes.

Could it be that the partner who started the project doesn't want the other partner to finish the project?

I don't know about you, but my pet projects are mine because I get some time away from her [lol]

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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quote:
Originally posted by Purple Iguana:
Is there a law that says only men are handy for doing home repairs? Sure, if the hubby starts a project, it'd be just dandy of him to finish it, but women are perfectly capable of wielding a hammer or a screwdriver or a paintbrush or a caulking gun. Home Depot even teaches classes.

Absolutely. But in my case it was not just a hammer or a screwdriver or a caulking gun. Those I did along side him. It's moving several tons of dirt out of a front yard where he started to xeriscape but didn't finish.

He also tended to totally mess up repairs. And I was Not Allowed to have an opinion. A lot of my time, energy, and money over the last two years have been spent fixing stuff that he NFBSKed up in the first place.

The thing is, there is a lot of stuff I just don't know how to do, and the female oriented courses at Home Depot don't deal with how to rebuild a garden gate. It's "Redecorate your bathroom for under $200!!!!"

I am not needing simple tiling or painting here. I need soffets replaced. I need garden walls repaired. I need to get the three splitting wedges out of the stump that they were jammed into. Oh, and concrete poured in the back room to level it out and a floor put in.

It also didn't help that he took most of the useful tools and I have had to rebuild my supply. Part of the reason Dad is useful is he has the stuff we need to finish the job.

I see it not so much as I need a man, but that this is another in a series of messes that exH made that I am left cleaning up. And why should women be responsible for doing the clean up when their partners grow tired of a project?

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There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Christie
The Bills of St. Mary's


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quote:
Originally posted by Purple Iguana:
Is there a law that says only men are handy for doing home repairs? Sure, if the hubby starts a project, it'd be just dandy of him to finish it, but women are perfectly capable of wielding a hammer or a screwdriver or a paintbrush or a caulking gun. Home Depot even teaches classes.

That's not the issue for me. I have more than enough on my plate now, thank you very much, without taking it upon myself to follow along behind my husband and finish his projects for him. He wants to start something, huzzah and good for him, but he can bloody well finish what he starts! Why should I enable him? I can just imagine what would happen then and it would involve even more work for me. So not going to happen.

quote:
I see it not so much as I need a man, but that this is another in a series of messes that exH made that I am left cleaning up. And why should women be responsible for doing the clean up when their partners grow tired of a project?

Exactly. It would be different if he were reluctantly tackling projects I wanted him to do and wasn't meeting some deadline or another that I wanted to impose on him. As things stand he gets all excited about doing something, starts off full of enthusiasm and then wanders off to something else leaving a debris field in his wake.

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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr

Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Couple of points:

Seems we're not the only ones - yay!

Unfortunately, I don't get out of entertaining duty - I just had 30 people over for a Christmas party all day, because my house is very large albeit unfinished.

I didn't even list the other projects that need doing that haven't even been started yet!

And yes, women can help or do on their own. I do. I don't have a HD within a few hundred miles, so classes are out for me. So, I'm dependent on Mr. R showing me what to do. When he is working on a project, I'm right there with him, learning and helping to the best of my ability. I spent the spring building the fence with him, mixing and pouring concrete for the sidewalk while he finished it, and my summer on the roof measuring and cutting roofing squares. If there is something I can do on my own, after he teaches me I shush him away to work on something else. I finished the fence project by staining the darned thing twice while he built the gate, and cemented in the bricks on the walk. I painted the trim on the backhouse alone after we put it up.

But if I were to ask him how to build the soffetts, he would see that as me nagging him to finish them. I asked him how to mortar the bricks, and he told me he'd get to it.

Now when he says, "What do you think about doing YYY to the house?" I reply, "That'll be fun right after we finish ZZZ."

We're getting there. Some of the problems stem from repairs jumping the line when we're in the middle of improvements (like the sewer line giving up the ghost in the middle of the fence project). And I'm sure he could make up an equally long list of things I've started and not finished.

If he didn't love me so much, he'd kill me. [Smile]

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"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Remarkgullabull:
Well, there are some things us guys finish and usually pretty quick. [Big Grin]

Speak for yourself. [Razz]

Me, I tend to finish what I start. Eventually.

Of course, being single and living on my own, that's not such a big deal.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
quiltsbypam
Happy Holly Days


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Yeah, it's the tools and the experience to use 'em. When I was in high school a million years ago, girls weren't allowed to take shop. We had to take home ec.

Now, I've been single for a long time now. And I've learned how to do more than I ever thought I would. But there is so much more that needs to be done and I don't have the time, or the money to try, screw it up and have to start over.

I know I could probably get over this, but I really believe power tools want to hurt me. And I won't give 'em the chance!

A Britcom called "May to December" had a character talking about home improvement, and saying his philosophy was GALMI -- Get a Little Man In. I like that philosophy. Can't afford it very often, but I like it!

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"No Biblical hell could ever be worse than the state of perpetual inconsequence." Beatrice in Dangerous Beauty

Posts: 1816 | From: Cayuga County, NY | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Monza305
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I actually don't mind when my wife wants to pick up power tools & help. For some reason, using power tools turns her on. [Big Grin]

I will never tell her to put down that chainsaw!

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I've got a pen in my pocket does that make me a writer?
Standing on the mountain doesn't make me no higher.
Putting on gloves don't make you a fighter.
And all the study in the world doesn't make it science. -Paul Weller

Posts: 199 | From: Kalamazoo, MI | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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