snopes.com
Topic Closed  Topic Closed
Post new topic  New Poll  
Topic Closed  Topic Closed
search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » Rantidote » Just because I pick up the phone, it doesn't make me your whipping boy (Page 1)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!   This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2   
Author Topic: Just because I pick up the phone, it doesn't make me your whipping boy
Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


Icon 208 posted      Profile for Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   E-mail Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
So, as part of my job, I'm the front line of contact for the newsroom (i.e. tips and etc.)

Well, I'm happily editing the letters to the editor, waiting for the super-yummy dessert laden holiday feast, and I get a call from this dude from our local telephone company, qwest. He starts off babbling in my ear about how he needs to find this obituary to help a customer and he just can't do it and he's generally being an ass.

Here's the thing:

-there is a link on the front page that says "obituaries"

-if you enter "obituaries" or "obituary" in the search field, guess what comes up? Our obituaries link.

I tell him where to go, and he starts raving about how we've hidden it! WTF. I informed him that, as it was on the front page, it was quite easy to find, by LOOKING AT THE WEBSITE. He proceeded to claim that was only because I knew where to look. To which I replied, "no, that's because I know how to read." He hung up.
Stupid assberet. If you want my help, don't start out with an attitude, and, especially, don't blame me for your stupidity and inability to follow through with even the most basic research.

GAHHHHH.

Ryda "Where are those freakin' desserts!" Wong.

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


Icon 1 posted      Profile for ThistleSoftware     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Ryda, I have a large gooey cinnamon bun here if you'd like to split it.

--------------------
Officially Heartless

Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
nurple
We Three Blings


Icon 1 posted      Profile for nurple   Author's Homepage   E-mail nurple   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assberet. YWOMANK,BINCDA! (You would owe me a new keyboard, but I'm not currently drinking anything.)

--------------------
"You better respect the Rap or the Rap won't respect you." Ledatru

Posts: 1141 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ica171
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for ica171   E-mail ica171   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assberet made me laugh, too. How about assfedora?

Seriously, though, why was this guy looking for an obituary for someone? He works for the phone company. I'd hope that wasn't how he was planning to verify a death on the account or something.

Posts: 384 | From: Iowa | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
LikeHeyScoob
The First USA Noel


Icon 1 posted      Profile for LikeHeyScoob   E-mail LikeHeyScoob   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assberet indeed. Nice one. [Smile]

This leads us to:

Assfedora
Asssombrero
Assbowler
Asschapeau (my personal favorite)
Asstoque
Assbeanie
Assbonnet
Assstetson

Anyone else?

As to the OP, I feel your pain. If I had a nickel for every time I've said "Have you TRIED using the search tool?" I'd have at least a few bucks in my pocket right now.

ETA: Mild, yet somewhat pleasant spanking on "Assfedora" (By a minute!)

--------------------
Support you local community newspaper! CNN.com probably won't be covering your child's spelling bee.

Posts: 609 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Neffti Noel
We Three Blings


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Neffti Noel     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Arsetopper.
Arsecap.
Arsetrilby.
Arsefez.
Arsehelmet.
Arsebobble.
Arsesnood.

Thanks, I enjoyed that.

Posts: 1157 | From: Westcountry UK "It's Bootiful" | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cervus   E-mail Cervus   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
I'd suggest assbeaver but the hat reference may be lost on younger folks. [Wink]

--------------------
"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Sharpened Steel
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sharpened Steel   E-mail Sharpened Steel   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Asspillbox?

Doesn't really roll of the tongue does it? But it does make me think of suppositories which are generally a pain in the ass so...

All right, all right... [fish]

--------------------
Get used to his bad habits and decide whether you can put up with them...the rest of your life. 'Cause if you don't, then one day, you find yourself in the shed, sharpening the axe and idly wondering how thick the human skull really is.
-ChickyBee

Posts: 64 | From: Bristol, Rhode Island/Columbia, Maryland | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Brillo Bee
Wii Three Kings


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Brillo Bee     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assberet gave me a good chuckle, but on reading the thread, I think I like asstoque the best.

How about
Assfez
Asshelmet
Asssombrero

Bee

ETA: Spanked twice by Neffti in two minutes! I'm blushing!

--------------------
People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools. -Alice Walker

Posts: 335 | From: Minnesota | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
unklesamta
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for unklesamta   E-mail unklesamta   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Asshelmet
assshowercap
asshairnet

--------------------
The less you know, the more you believe. -Bono

Posts: 457 | From: Philadelphia, PA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Brillo Bee
Wii Three Kings


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Brillo Bee     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Is asstinfoilhat just too confusing? Doesn't roll off the tongue but could be handy in some cases.

Bee

--------------------
People do not wish to appear foolish; to avoid the appearance of foolishness, they are willing to remain actually fools. -Alice Walker

Posts: 335 | From: Minnesota | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   E-mail Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
quote:
Originally posted by ica171:
Seriously, though, why was this guy looking for an obituary for someone? He works for the phone company. I'd hope that wasn't how he was planning to verify a death on the account or something.

That's exactly what he was doing, and since we don't do free obits anymore, no death cert is required to print one. Sigh.

Oh, and thistle, that cinnamon bun was lovely!

Thanks!

And I like assstetson.

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ica171
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for ica171   E-mail ica171   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assstetson! I was trying to work a cowboy hat in but I couldn't do it. Thanks, LikeHeyScoob.
Posts: 384 | From: Iowa | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


Icon 1 posted      Profile for GenYus   E-mail GenYus   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Why no love for:

Asspithhelmet?

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


Icon 1 posted      Profile for GenYus   E-mail GenYus   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
And to be multicultural:

Asssombrero
Asschapeau
Asshut
Asscappello (is this when you sing without music playing from your butt?)
Asshoed (too close to one of the 7 words?)

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TwoGuyswithaHat
Happy Holly Days


Icon 1 posted      Profile for TwoGuyswithaHat   E-mail TwoGuyswithaHat   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
quote:
Originally posted by Neffti Noel:
Arsetrilby.

In that vein, you cannot forget the Assporkpie

--------------------
In politics, absurdity is not a handicap - Napoleon Bonaparte

Posts: 1801 | From: The Forest City, Ontario | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
glisp42
I'm Dreaming Of A White iPod


Icon 1 posted      Profile for glisp42   Author's Homepage   E-mail glisp42   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Asscheescutter?

--------------------
What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK" and other lingo mean?

And we'll collect the moments one by one I guess that's how the future's done. -Feist

Posts: 1641 | From: Kansas | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


Icon 1 posted      Profile for GenYus   E-mail GenYus   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assdeerstalker (this sounds vaguely wrong for some reason)
Assbeefeater (rump roast?)

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
NancyFancyPants
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for NancyFancyPants     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Asswatchcap? (You know -- the cap you wear while watching asses.)

Ryda, the first line of contact always takes the most abuse. Unfortunately, it seems to be part of the job, no matter where you work, if you're answering the phone. But at least you know that you can always vent here.

--------------------
And on the 7th day, God said, "Let there be lips!"

Posts: 296 | From: Munhall, PA | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sara at home   E-mail Sara at home   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
quote:
Originally posted by Cervus:
I'd suggest assbeaver but the hat reference may be lost on younger folks. [Wink]

Oh, go ahead, suggest it. It's a good one.

--------------------
Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread.

Posts: 8317 | From: Reading, PA | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   E-mail Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Well, if nothing else, I've gained some great title ideas for my series of man on man gay porn!

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


Icon 1 posted      Profile for GenYus   E-mail GenYus   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
As opposed to man-on-man straight porn?

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Griffin at the Maul
Joyeux New Sale


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Griffin at the Maul     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
let's see:

assbowler
assbucket
asschimney
assdicer
assheadpiece
asslid
assmillinery
*assplug
*assrim
assroof
*asssailor
*assskimmer
*assstraw
asstopper

*: all have the potential to be xomething COMPLETELY different.

--------------------
Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?

Posts: 782 | From: Arlington, TX | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Dog Friendly
Carol of the Bills


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Dog Friendly   Author's Homepage   E-mail Dog Friendly   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Asstamo'shanter?
Assforeandafter?
Assyarmulke?

And for any Open Mikers out there: ASSCAP!

--------------------
"Nobody ever got stoned and beat up his old lady" -- Spence, snapdragonfly's friend

Posts: 768 | From: North Hollywood, CA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   E-mail Ryda Wong, EBfCo.   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
As opposed to man-on-man straight porn?

WHAT-ever. Eatin' food, talkin on the phone, and typin at the same time. Things are bound to get screwy.

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


Icon 1 posted      Profile for LeaflessMapleTree   E-mail LeaflessMapleTree   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assbelaclava - if you want to rob a convenience store ass-backward.

Assbandana (almost wrote assbanana)

Asswig

Asstoupee

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
nurple
We Three Blings


Icon 1 posted      Profile for nurple   Author's Homepage   E-mail nurple   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assbabushka?

--------------------
"You better respect the Rap or the Rap won't respect you." Ledatru

Posts: 1141 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
unklesamta
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for unklesamta   E-mail unklesamta   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Asswig is great!! Well played LeaflessMapleTree

--------------------
The less you know, the more you believe. -Bono

Posts: 457 | From: Philadelphia, PA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TallGeekyGirl
O Read, O Read, The Manual


Icon 1 posted      Profile for TallGeekyGirl   Author's Homepage   E-mail TallGeekyGirl   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
I like assfez, too.

Assboater
Asskepi
Assbonnet

--------------------
See, if I tell you about it, it won't be a mystery. It'll just be a fact, an ugly, moist fact, squatting on your brain like an octopus. And you don't want an octopus squatting on your brain, do you, son? -- Stan Smith, American Dad

Posts: 980 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mistletoey Chloe     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assmerkin?

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

Posts: 10111 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 16 posted      Profile for Canuckistan   E-mail Canuckistan   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
quote:
Originally posted by Mistletoey Chloe:
Assmerkin?

With the amount of shaving I do there, you really think I need one?

 -

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Pixiechic
Here We Come A-Mall Crawling


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Pixiechic   Author's Homepage   E-mail Pixiechic   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Ya'll are completely forgetting about the Asspanama and the everpopular Assmask. Though personally I like the Asswig that MapleLeaf came up with!

As to the OP, I feel your pain Ryda, I worked in a call center and the people who called in to order things just got pissy as soon as someone answered the phone sometimes!

Pixie"it's all ass to me!"chic

--------------------
Pixiechic's MySpace page
Our Homepage

Posts: 381 | From: Las Vegas, NV | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Lady Moon
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lady Moon   E-mail Lady Moon   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
arsecrockett

--------------------
"We've got a fifth member of the band round here, and he's DEFINITELY out of tune!" -- Keith Moon

"If I had a thousand quid for every time I've introduced this song --- oh, I do!" -- John Entwistle

Posts: 584 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Salamander
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Salamander   E-mail Salamander   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Just to represent the Aussies here, I will suggest:

assakubra

Although if not said clearly it may lead people to think one is referring to a colonic cobra.

The people that call me are rarely angry... probably because they know I can access their personal folders on the network and read their e-mails if I felt like it. Holding power over others can be a good thing at times [Big Grin]

ETA: alliteration

--------------------
"victory thru self-deception"

Posts: 2211 | From: Western Australia | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop
Once in Royal Circuit City


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop   Author's Homepage   E-mail Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post 
Assvisor.

Nonny

--------------------
When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer

Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
  This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2   

Post new topic  New Poll  
Topic Closed  Topic Closed
Open Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Urban Legends Reference Pages

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2