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Author Topic: Move your car
Hubert Cumberdale
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by UrbanReindeer:
The holiday season brings out my least favorite people: the parking stalkers. Now, if I'm driving down a row, and I see someone obviously about to pull out, okay no problem. Look, I'm killing two birds with one stone by a) being polite enough to let them pull out and b) scoring myself a space.

The parking stalkers are the people who follow people down the row to their cars and then WAIT. When I'm stuck behind one of these guys, they're invariably waiting for someone with three kids and 10 bags. It's going to take her 10 minutes to get in the car! Just go!


A good way to keep the parking vultures from stalking you (besides parking as far as you can from the store where no one wants to park) is to walk a few lanes over while walking to your car then cross over to the correct lane when you get to where your car is. It's funny to see them try to rush to get your spot when it's actually three rows over. They never make it.

Of course if you want to be cruel, you could just walk around a mall parking lot with no intention of going to your car around Christmas carrying bags and see how many people follow you.

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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My Dad and I met up at a mall during the holiday season. Not much parking and one truck was parked across 3- almost 4 spaces. It was one of those extended ones with a full back seat. I saw Dad but no spot for my car. There was just barely room front and back of him (the truck) for cars but I don't think people were using them because they didn't want to block the jerk in. I had no problem just pulling in. Dad moved his truck to the other spot so our cars would be closer to each other (yes, that was the main reason he did, his car was 10-12 lanes from mine and we knew it would be dark by the time we left). We come out of the store some 3-4 hours later and some guy was sitting in the truck. As soon as we got there he got out and started ranting about how he had been sitting there for 2 hours waiting for someone to come move one of our NFBSKing cars. Got bitchy because he said mall security wouldn't do anything, the police had been there and wouldn't do anything.

Had to love my Dad. He told the guy that we were going to leave but after a display like that, we were just going to put our packages in the cars and go back to shopping. Told him that the malls didn't close for hours yet and we would be back at closing time. And knowing my Dad, he would have. I think the guy would have stripped down naked and danced in the street if Dad had asked just to get one of us to move a car.

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by tribrats:
My Dad and I met up at a mall during the holiday season. Not much parking and one truck was parked across 3- almost 4 spaces. It was one of those extended ones with a full back seat. I saw Dad but no spot for my car. There was just barely room front and back of him (the truck) for cars but I don't think people were using them because they didn't want to block the jerk in. I had no problem just pulling in. Dad moved his truck to the other spot so our cars would be closer to each other (yes, that was the main reason he did, his car was 10-12 lanes from mine and we knew it would be dark by the time we left). We come out of the store some 3-4 hours later and some guy was sitting in the truck. As soon as we got there he got out and started ranting about how he had been sitting there for 2 hours waiting for someone to come move one of our NFBSKing cars. Got bitchy because he said mall security wouldn't do anything, the police had been there and wouldn't do anything.

Had to love my Dad. He told the guy that we were going to leave but after a display like that, we were just going to put our packages in the cars and go back to shopping. Told him that the malls didn't close for hours yet and we would be back at closing time. And knowing my Dad, he would have. I think the guy would have stripped down naked and danced in the street if Dad had asked just to get one of us to move a car.

MUhahaha...how delicious.

My husband has one of those big trucks (because we actually HAUL real actual STUFF and need it!) and he always parks kind of far away and at the end of the lot just so he won't squeeze other people.

But then again he's not an asshat.

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"Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit

(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

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tagurit
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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*knock, knock, knock* Is there anybody in there?
quote:
Originally posted by Hubert Cumberdale:
A good way to keep the parking vultures from stalking you (besides parking as far as you can from the store where no one wants to park) is to walk a few lanes over while walking to your car then cross over to the correct lane when you get to where your car is. It's funny to see them try to rush to get your spot when it's actually three rows over. They never make it.

Of course if you want to be cruel, you could just walk around a mall parking lot with no intention of going to your car around Christmas carrying bags and see how many people follow you.



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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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snapdragonfly, those trucks can be very handy. And drive surprisingly nice. Dad's neighbors had one of the first models to come out and had a fifth wheel in the back to haul cattle trailers and their 3 kids. I don't recall any of them having to park like they were in a parallel spot!

I enjoyed the incident because my Dad is not afraid to say the things I wish I had the guts to. And I am quite capable of saying quite a bit!

I hadn't parked there with the intent to block the guy in but I hesitate to say the same about my Dad. He has an evil streak [Wink] .

When I worked at a garage, we had a guy that rebuilt a car from the frame up. He rebuilt everything and put all his time and money he could spare into it. It came out beautiful. He would park diagonally in 2 spots so to help protect it. However, he parked way across the lot where no-one but us workers parked and there were usually dozens of spots available. And during the busy season he would park normal and hope for the best.

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Friends of Alfred
The First USA Noel


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Semi related rant about drivers.

On the main route into the city centre, the road goes into a tunnel, and becomes 1 lane. This is, 1 lane for cars, and a bus/taxi lane on the left. These bus lanes are not for ordinary motorists.

So I was sitting in traffic this morning, having come out the far side of the tunnel, and traffic was merging again. I spot some asshole in an Audi flying down the bus lane, and watched him force his way into the left hand lane. Afer a couple of minutes of inching along, I found myself beside him, and noticed that he had left a 10 foot gap between him and the car in front. I need to get in the left lane at some point, so I indicated and turned into the gap (traffic is not moving at this stage).

This asshole actually mounted the footpath to get around me, whilst leaning on the horn, and giving me the finger.

He is lucky I'm suce a nice guy. I know a couple of lads who would not have hesitated to haul him from his car and batter him up and down the high street.

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bufungla
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Friends of Alfred:

This asshole actually mounted the footpath to get around me, whilst leaning on the horn, and giving me the finger.

He is lucky I'm suce a nice guy. I know a couple of lads who would not have hesitated to haul him from his car and batter him up and down the high street.

It's much safer to smile and wave, pretending to believe that he's honking to say hello.

buf 'also tends to make them all the madder [Big Grin] ' ungla

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Monza305
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I had a two-fer at the store this weekend.

I pulled into a decent parking spot. When I started to go into the store, I realized that the front of my car was about a foot and 1/2 over the front line. So I got back into my car to back it up. Someone looking for a space saw my reverse lights come on & shot up to me at the speed of light to take my place. I got a nice dirty look when I got out of my car & started walking to the store.

Then on the way out, there was a cop there giving out tickets to all the people illegaly parked in the handicapped spaces. [lol] I had to walk by him just to give him a thumbs up.

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FullMetal
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Worst park job I've ever seen, parallel parking near my work, Its free on a side street so that's where I park, I drive a little Sunfire, and this Jeep TJ parked in front of me, now normally this isn't a problem except he left no room, (and by no room I mean our bumpers were touching) for me to move forward. I had 1 foot behind me because the guy in front of me decided to park close too, (not as close as Jeep boy) I had nowhere to go, and I was stuck. That's my pet peeve, people parking too close so that you're unable to leave a parking space.

The guy behind me, came up while I was writing a note to the jerk in the jeep. and apologized for getting so close, I told him not to worry, i wasn't upset at him just the guy in the jeep.

I mean really, why park right up against another car?

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Hans Off
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Pah, you have no sense of flair! I spent about two hours this summer watching people parrallel park in Paris. The form is that no one parks with their handbrake on.

The "contestant" finds a space that is within aboput 2 foot of the length of his car, reverses into the space and pushes the car behind him out of the way.

It is wonderous to watch!

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tagurit
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Hans, no one uses their hand brake in the us. However, there aren't that many parallel parking spots.

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Explore, enjoy and protect the planet
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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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I use my hand brake (although I call it the emergency brake) every time I park. If I'm on an incline, I also make sure to shift it into reverse (if pointing uphill) or 1st (if pointing downhill). As I never park on a hill along the side of a street, I never worry about which way the wheels point.

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Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by tagurit:
Hans, no one uses their hand brake in the us. However, there aren't that many parallel parking spots.

Speak for yourself! And don't move around here if you can't parallel park!

Yes, many of us do use our hand breaks and while there aren't enough parking spots on our block, they are the only place to park. Fortunately there are few houses and a lot of spaces on our cross streets.

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Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread.

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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While I do tend to use the E-Brake on cars with manual transmission, I haven't parallel parked since I took my drivers test in 1988.

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Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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I don't even know how to parallel park. I just find the nearest spot that has room for me to just park nicely without having to back into the parking space.

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Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
If I'm on an incline, I also make sure to shift it into reverse (if pointing uphill) or 1st (if pointing downhill).

I don't hill park, so maybe I'm missing something, but isn't this backward? I thought you should be in reverse pointing downhill and 1st facing uphill. But I'm probably nuts. [Big Grin]

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Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Okay, so I'm not nuts!

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"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

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tagurit
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Sara Claus at home:
quote:
Originally posted by tagurit:
Hans, no one uses their hand brake in the us. However, there aren't that many parallel parking spots.

Speak for yourself! And don't move around here if you can't parallel park!
Hey, the manhandling isn't necessary! I'm staying in Michigan. I can parallel park, I just don't use my emergency brake as there's no need for it.

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Explore, enjoy and protect the planet
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Hans Off
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I am flabbergasted that the USAsian don't use handbrakes!!!!!!

WTF are you all thinking?!!!!

I would love to know the reasons!

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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Hans Off:
I am flabbergasted that the USAsian don't use handbrakes!!!!!!

WTF are you all thinking?!!!!

I would love to know the reasons!

The near-ubiquity of automatic transmission, perhaps?

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"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Zachary Fizz
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Eleventy-one, Hans.

I have an American-built SUV, and it doesn't have a handbrake at all. This makes using the handbrake truly difficult, I can tell you.

It does have something called a parking brake, which you also find on Mercedes-Benz cars worldwide, and which is pedal actuated with a release lever, operated by hand, located in a slightly awkward position by the driver's left shin. When I park the truck, I often just shift the gear selector into park. If there were any inclines to park on around here, I might additionally use the parking brake.

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ladyknight
The First USA Noel


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I still have a manual transmission, so let me assure you that I use my parking brake every day! The Fiance, on the other hand, has used his parking brake only two or three times in the two years he's owned his car, always on a steep incline.

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The Fourth Man
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Hans Off:
The "contestant" finds a space that is within aboput 2 foot of the length of his car, reverses into the space and pushes the car behind him out of the way.

We call that "se garer au chausse-pied" (lit. "shoe horn parking"). And yes, it's a crucial skill for anyone willing to drive in Paris. [Big Grin]

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LittleDuck
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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We have an automatic transmission and still use the hand brake all the time, even on flat surfaces (force of habit, I guess). I more often hear it referred to here in the US as an "emergency brake" or "parking brake" however.

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Gordon Fan
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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Holiday Shopping Rules...

a.. Rule No. 1
When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing.

b.. Rule No. 2
Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred.

c.. Rule No. 3
In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up halfway and stop on the line, taking both.

d.. Rule No. 4
As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull though and take it from him.

e.. Rule No. 5
Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his or her car.

f.. Rule No. 6
When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard.

g.. Rule No. 7
When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed.

h.. Rule No. 8
When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rule applies to picking up and discharging passengers.

i.. Rule No. 9
When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it.

j.. Rule No. 10
If you have handicapped license plates, use up a regular parking spot.

k.. Rule No. 11
If you hit the adjacent car with your door and leave a dent, wait for a car, which is painted the same color as yours, to drive down the aisle looking for a place to park. Then back out, giving up your spot like "Mr. Good Guy," and park somewhere else.

l.. Rule No. 12
If the vehicle in front of you stops to let a pedestrian cross or another vehicle turn, pull into the lane of opposite traffic and attempt to pass him.

m.. Rule No. 13
When exiting a shopping center into a busy road, exit through the narrow "ENTER ONLY" driveway, stick the nose of the car into traffic, and wait.

n.. Rule No. 14
When driving through a parking lot with alternating one-way aisles and angled parking spots, drive the wrong way. Then when you see a parking space, take 20 minutes to do a 12-point turn to pull into it.

o.. Rule No. 15
Always leave your shopping cart behind or tightly between parked vehicles.

p.. Rule No. 16
Empty your ashtrays on the ground in shopping center parking lots. While you're at it, dump out all the garbage, too, including that Wendy's or McDonald's bag sitting in the back seat from breakfast.

q.. Rule No. 17
If you are forced to change an infant's diaper in a parking lot, leave the soiled diaper under the car next to you.

r.. Rule No. 18
When another vehicle is waiting for you to pull out of a spot in a crowded parking lot, take your time. Adjust the mirrors, your seat, and the radio. Roll down your window, light a cigarette, and eat your lunch. Feel free to go through your shopping bags and look at what you just bought.

s.. Rule No. 19
When pulling into a parking spot, if there is a shopping cart in the way, lightly tap it with your bumper and send it rolling into another car. Then, when you step out, if the cart is still too close, push it down the parking lot aisle and let it go. While the cart is flying solo, turn around and walk toward the stores.

t.. Rule No. 20
When walking back to your car in a busy shopping center, gesture to other drivers waiting for a spot to make them think that you are getting in the car and leaving. Then walk between the cars to the next aisle and do it again.

u.. Rule No. 21
When shopping at the mall, which requires you to load your bags into the car and go back in to do more shopping, do NOT tell the driver who is sitting patiently watching you load your car and signaling for your spot.

v.. Rule No. 22
When walking back to your car, if you notice other shoppers walking past your car to get to theirs, press the buttons on your key chain remote so that your car's alarm makes a sudden loud "BLOOP BLEEP" that scares the crap out of them.

w.. Rule No. 23
If you don't see a speed limit sign posted in the mall's parking lot, there isn't any!

x.. Rule No. 24
If you back into a parked car, and the driver isn't with it, take out a piece of paper and start writing. This is especially effective if there are 15-20 witnesses. On a piece of paper write, "There were ___ witnesses when I hit your car. They think I'm writing my name, address, and phone number."

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HelloLlama
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Gordon Fan:

j.. Rule No. 10
If you have handicapped license plates, use up a regular parking spot.

Well, they don't really have anywhere else to park since someone not handicapped is probably illegally parked in the handicapped spot.
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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Gordon Fan:
v.. Rule No. 22
When walking back to your car, if you notice other shoppers walking past your car to get to theirs, press the buttons on your key chain remote so that your car's alarm makes a sudden loud "BLOOP BLEEP" that scares the crap out of them."

When I do that, it's because I can't remember where I parked.

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chillas
Coventry Mall Carol


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Why are the rules lettered and numbered?

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Para
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by frogpond:
I also hate seeing people let small kids run ahead or behind them in a parking lot. I drive a tall truck and when I'm parked in between vehicles as tall as mine it can be very difficult to spot a short child while backing out. I had a scare at the mall once when a small child came running about 10 feet behind his father, but fortunately I inch out slowly.

Is anyone else afraid to walk past a car with engines running in the lots? I've had a scare or two that way as well!

Oh, you just reminded me of an unfortunate incident near where I work that occured last year. The family had been in town shopping, and stopped at a convenience store. The little five year old boy ran ahead of his parents towards the store and was run over by a fully-loaded semi truck. The driver had no idea that the boy was there or that he'd hit the child. Someone had to run after him and tell him. It wasn't that he was going too fast, he was driving very slowly. The little boy was just too small, and ran out too close to the truck for the driver to see him. [Frown]

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"But what of the golden spider-duck and the squat crimson pig?"

Posts: 425 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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