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Author Topic: Intilligement Racists
Zachary Fizz
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
That's not what you were saying last night in my bed!

Ha! And once I got what I wanted, all those promises I made meant nothing! When will you learn, Canuckistan?
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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
quote:
Then one day, I was helping her with an online dating profile (she'd been divorced for a while & was looking into the online scene). When we got to the part about what race you're looking for, she said, "White, of course!" I was just dumbfounded...all I could say was, "What?!?!"
That doesn't have to be racist. Not all ethnic groups fluff my wiener. It's not about racism, I have good friends among them, they just don't get me sexually interested.

I am not able to understand this. I don't get how someone's race could possibly make them unattractive. Maybe I'm just not picky, but to me there are some incredibly beautiful people of every race, and some incredibly ugly people. Are there certain face shapes or tones of skin that turn you off? Is it cultural? I mean, I'm pretty turned off by macho homophobes, and they are slightly more prevalent in some cultures than in others, so I guess I could understand being turned off by elements of a culture, but that's a tad more complex than just clicking the "white" button on an internet questionnaire.

I'm not trying to be all judgemental of your turn-ons, Troberg- it's just that I've heard this before and never really got it.

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Officially Heartless

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ULTRAGLORIA
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by ThistleSoftware:
I am not able to understand this. I don't get how someone's race could possibly make them unattractive.

Their 'race' doesn't. There are countless extremely attractive people of all 'races' and both sexes that I admire aesthetically yet have no desire to date.

The wish to date or marry someone from one's own 'race' is pretty universal. There are far, far FAR more same-'race' marriages, amongst all 'races', than interracial marriages.

The desire of a black person to date only another black person does not automatically make that person a racist.

Lather, rinse, repeat for all other 'races'.

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A Lie can run around the world before the Truth can get its boots on. - Terry Pratchett

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions; but everyone is not entitled to their own facts. - Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan

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Jonny T
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
I am not able to understand this. I don't get how someone's race could possibly make them unattractive. Maybe I'm just not picky, but to me there are some incredibly beautiful people of every race, and some incredibly ugly people. Are there certain face shapes or tones of skin that turn you off? Is it cultural? I mean, I'm pretty turned off by macho homophobes, and they are slightly more prevalent in some cultures than in others, so I guess I could understand being turned off by elements of a culture, but that's a tad more complex than just clicking the "white" button on an internet questionnaire.
Same way you can find someone physically unattractive based on their weight, hair colour, height, voice, or the curvature of their nostrils.

it's nothing to do with being "picky", each person's tastes are different.

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Hello, I love you - won't you tell me your name?
Hello! I'm good for nothing - will you love me just the same?

Greetings from the dark side...

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Troodon
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I have noticed some general trends regarding women I find attractive: I'm much more frequently attracted to brunettes than to blondes for example. Also, while I think that there are many attractive white women, I think that Asian or middle-eastern women are much more likely to be attractive than white women are.

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Fools! You've over-estimated me!

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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGLORIA:
The wish to date or marry someone from one's own 'race' is pretty universal. There are far, far FAR more same-'race' marriages, amongst all 'races', than interracial marriages.

I don't think that your first comment is true. I think that, for the vast majority of humans, there really isn't much intermixing of races.

Lack of interracial marriage is probably more likely a result of living in homogeneous society.

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"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Zachary Fizz:
Ha! And once I got what I wanted, all those promises I made meant nothing! When will you learn, Canuckistan?

Right after the chip was implanted into the base of your skull.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Sharpened Steel
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr:
quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGLORIA:
The wish to date or marry someone from one's own 'race' is pretty universal. There are far, far FAR more same-'race' marriages, amongst all 'races', than interracial marriages.

I don't think that your first comment is true. I think that, for the vast majority of humans, there really isn't much intermixing of races.

Lack of interracial marriage is probably more likely a result of living in homogeneous society.

I agree. In Columbia, there are plenty of interracial marriages. Of course, we're a planned community, but here, you're just as likely to see an interracial couple as a same race couple. You can always tell the WAY-out-of-towners because they're the ones gawking at us interracial couples.

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Get used to his bad habits and decide whether you can put up with them...the rest of your life. 'Cause if you don't, then one day, you find yourself in the shed, sharpening the axe and idly wondering how thick the human skull really is.
-ChickyBee

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Mama Duck
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by ThistleSoftware:
I am not able to understand this. I don't get how someone's race could possibly make them unattractive.

I'm not Troberg, heck, I don't even play him on TV, but I think I can help explain. It's not so much that a race can make a person unattractive, it's that many of us have a specific "type" we like. For instance, I have a thing for blonde stocky men. No, seriously, I do. Thus I didn't date a lot of non-whites. I wasn't consciously looking to date inside a specific race. But the guys who routinely caught my eye were blondes and blondes tend to be white. I'll admit it might be shallow of me but I don't think it's particularly racist, just a kink like any other kink really. I recongize that other types of men are equally attractive but they just don't "ring my bell" as it were.

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There is no interpersonal problem so big that it can't be solved with a suitably large amount of high explosives. ~ Bufungla

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGLORIA:
The wish to date or marry someone from one's own 'race' is pretty universal.

Cite, please. And please don't repeat the statement that interracial relationship are less common. As others have pointed out, it's not necessarily true, and even if it were, it proves nothing about your point quoted above.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Jaime Vargas Sanchez
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Mama Duck:
I'm not Troberg, heck, I don't even play him on TV, but I think I can help explain. It's not so much that a race can make a person unattractive, it's that many of us have a specific "type" we like. For instance, I have a thing for blonde stocky men. No, seriously, I do. Thus I didn't date a lot of non-whites.

And if MD would have had a thing for athletic black men, would anybody think that's racist? Of course not. Well, it's exactly the same for the other situation. The fact that you don't think other races are lesser humans doesn't actually mean you would be willing to date them given other choices, the same way that you can have lots of short people as best friends and still be on the lookout for long tall romantic interests.

Jaime

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"Everyone has problems. They only vary in design" - Mama Duck

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Jonny T:
quote:
I am not able to understand this. I don't get how someone's race could possibly make them unattractive. Maybe I'm just not picky, but to me there are some incredibly beautiful people of every race, and some incredibly ugly people. Are there certain face shapes or tones of skin that turn you off? Is it cultural? I mean, I'm pretty turned off by macho homophobes, and they are slightly more prevalent in some cultures than in others, so I guess I could understand being turned off by elements of a culture, but that's a tad more complex than just clicking the "white" button on an internet questionnaire.
Same way you can find someone physically unattractive based on their weight, hair colour, height, voice, or the curvature of their nostrils.

it's nothing to do with being "picky", each person's tastes are different.

Just to clarify, I didn't mean "picky" to be derogatory.

I dunno, I get being more attracted to people because of certain physical features, I've just never extended that to skin color or race, nor have I extended it to not being attracted to people without whatever physical feature. I'm not saying it's racist to be more attracted to one race or another, I just don't really understand it. I guess it does just boil down to taste.

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Officially Heartless

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Mama Duck
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Well, is skin color a physical feature? Hair color certainly is as is eye color. I'm not picking on you. Just trying to help you understand why someone's type might always be or predominatly from a specific race.

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There is no interpersonal problem so big that it can't be solved with a suitably large amount of high explosives. ~ Bufungla

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGLORIA:The wish to date or marry someone from one's own 'race' is pretty universal. There are far, far FAR more same-'race' marriages, amongst all 'races', than interracial marriages.
I don't think this is necessarily true. Maybe in homogenous populations, but in mixed populations it seems like there would be plenty of interracial marriages. The area I am from has a population that is pretty evenly mixed between Latinos and Caucasians, and there are plenty of Latino-Caucasian marriages. I could be wrong, I've never read statistics on this topic. I think people date and marry those whom they know.

quote:
The desire of a black person to date only another black person does not automatically make that person a racist
I did not say and did not mean to imply that such a desire would be racist. I only said that I did not exactly comprehend that desire. I can understand wanting to date within one's own group, but for some reason I had the idea that people were saying they did not find members of whatever race attractive at all, and that is what I do not understand/ can't empathize with.

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Officially Heartless

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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MamaDuck- I can see what you all are saying now. I got the impression that it was more exlusive than just having a certain type- as in, "I'm attracted only to small Filipina women" as opposed to "I find small Filipina women the most attractive" if that makes sense.

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Officially Heartless

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I mean if someone was only attracted to small Filipina women, I would not have a problem with it, it's just not something I get on a gut level.

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Officially Heartless

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Mama Duck
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Well, honestly, what's there to get? Most people's taste in partners, music, clothes, etc. is a bit of a mystery.

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There is no interpersonal problem so big that it can't be solved with a suitably large amount of high explosives. ~ Bufungla

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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There's also a difference between finding someone attractive, or beautiful, and actually being attracted to them. I've seen many people that I thought were very beautiful, but to whom I was not at all attracted, even at first glance.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
There's also a difference between finding someone attractive, or beautiful, and actually being attracted to them. I've seen many people that I thought were very beautiful, but to whom I was not at all attracted, even at first glance.

Agreed. If I could figure out why I'm attracted to the guys I am, my life would be a lot easier.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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chillas
Coventry Mall Carol


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quote:
Originally posted by Sharpened Steel:
In Columbia, there are plenty of interracial marriages. Of course, we're a planned community,

Sorry ... as soon as I got this far I had a giggle at the thought of a community so planned that they insisted on interracial marriages.

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Come on, come on - spin a little tighter
Come on, come on - and the world's a little brighter


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KatrinaDuck
Jingle Bell Hock


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My BF's grandma is a wonderful person, and she likes me despite my being agnostic while her family is Jewish.
She has a niece, white, who is dating a black man, and they love him. Of course, she'll tell me so in such a way as to make it sound like she's a jerk. "We love him... even though he is black." And then, "we're fine with it, as long as they don't have children."

That last confuses and rankles me, but I've dropped it, since I didn't want to get into any debates with her. I'm not sure if she means "the children would have trouble fitting in if they had a parent of each race," or if she means, "their children wouldn't be good people because they're mixed."

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It is, after all, the dab of grit that seeps into an oyster's shell that makes the pearl, not pearl-making seminars with other oysters. -Stephen King

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Sharpened Steel
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by chillas:
quote:
Originally posted by Sharpened Steel:
In Columbia, there are plenty of interracial marriages. Of course, we're a planned community,

Sorry ... as soon as I got this far I had a giggle at the thought of a community so planned that they insisted on interracial marriages.
Yep, in fact, they're mandatory. [fish]

Actually, even despite its intense integration(of all types of couples), there's still the odd "off" comment. I have a skating coach whose known me for years, so she knows my dad is white. After she met my boyfriend, she actually asked me if my parents had a problem with me dating a white guy. I was very confused when I realized she wasn't joking.

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Get used to his bad habits and decide whether you can put up with them...the rest of your life. 'Cause if you don't, then one day, you find yourself in the shed, sharpening the axe and idly wondering how thick the human skull really is.
-ChickyBee

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Monza305
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by KatrinaDuck:
And then, "we're fine with it, as long as they don't have children."

That last confuses and rankles me, but I've dropped it, since I didn't want to get into any debates with her. I'm not sure if she means "the children would have trouble fitting in if they had a parent of each race," or if she means, "their children wouldn't be good people because they're mixed."

I hate that the most.
I was dating this girl about 12 years ago, or so. I was listening to this conversation between a white girl & a black guy about interracial relationships. From across the room, the girl ran over to answer the question with "I would date a black guy, but I'd never marry him, you know, because of the children." Now being the product of almost 200 years of mixing, that pissed me off. Was I some kind of freak? WTF? Needless to say, I cancelled our date that night & never went out with her again.

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I've got a pen in my pocket does that make me a writer?
Standing on the mountain doesn't make me no higher.
Putting on gloves don't make you a fighter.
And all the study in the world doesn't make it science. -Paul Weller

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ottercreek
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by edu-macated:
Is there anything more devastating?

Someone who you had admired and enjoyed their intellect. Always on their side in an argument simply because their mindset was so in tune with yours.

Loving their words, listening to their ideas.

Until the time you realise they really should be living in the primordial ooze because they are so incredibly wrong you want slap them so hard their teeth shake.

Then, knowing that nothing you say could make a dent - but wanting to try all the same.

It does suck.

What exactly did this person say to upset you?
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PeterK
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by LikeHeyScoob:
quote:
Originally posted by Soft Hyphen:
quote:
Originally posted by kingfan1978:
I was crushed to hear my mom say something racist. She always raised me to keep an open mind about people, don't judge someone simply based on their race, etc, etc.

Then one day, I was helping her with an online dating profile (she'd been divorced for a while & was looking into the online scene). When we got to the part about what race you're looking for, she said, "White, of course!" I was just dumbfounded...all I could say was, "What?!?!"

When I finally closed my jaw & asked her wtf, her justification for the comment was that she just didn't know if she could date a black man because "it might be weird". She still, to this day, doesn't understand why I called her comment just a tiny bit racist. [Frown]

I don't see how it's racist. Would you have the same reaction if she had told you that she didn't want a man who was younger, or more than X years younger than her? Would you consider it ageist if she did?
I cannot speak for kingfan, but I think his reaction was more due to the vehemence of his mother's statement ("White, of course!") than her dating preference. If she had simply checked the "White" box, I doubt he would have felt it was racist.
At least she's a lot less racist than the people who produced a questionnaire with a "White box" in it. If they wanted to ask about people's preferences re cultural and religious background, they should have done so. Neither of these corresponds to skin colour.
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Zachary Fizz
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
Right after the chip was implanted into the base of your skull.

People like you are giving sinister mind-control techniques a bad name, Canuckistan. How can I ever trust a scalpel-wielding internet stranger again?
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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
I am not able to understand this. I don't get how someone's race could possibly make them unattractive. Maybe I'm just not picky, but to me there are some incredibly beautiful people of every race, and some incredibly ugly people.
Don't get me wrong, they can be very beautiful, but they just don't "fluff my wiener". I have no idea why, perhaps I'm just picky.

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/Troberg

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LikeHeyScoob
The First USA Noel


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Parminder Nagra "fluffs my weiner" (Goodness she's hot!)
Giada De Laurentiis "fluffs my weiner"
Halle Berry "fluffs my weiner"
Lucy Liu "fluffs my weiner"

Most of all, Mrs. Scoob "fluffs my weiner".

LikeHey"FWIW"Scoob

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Support you local community newspaper! CNN.com probably won't be covering your child's spelling bee.

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Zachary Fizz:
People like you are giving sinister mind-control techniques a bad name, Canuckistan. How can I ever trust a scalpel-wielding internet stranger again?

Well if that's your attitude, I won't even offer you the bridge in Manhattan that I have for sale! [Razz]

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by PeterK:
At least she's a lot less racist than the people who produced a questionnaire with a "White box" in it. If they wanted to ask about people's preferences re cultural and religious background, they should have done so. Neither of these corresponds to skin colour.

I don't think this is racist, though. We're not talking about job performance, or getting into a school; we're talking about physical attractiveness. One can respect someone without thinking them attractive.

But when dealing with something like physical attraction, physical attributes are important.

Note that the agency isn't saying, "No blacks need join our agency." But to suggest that appearance doesn't play a role in the dating scene is silly. As such, I don't think the agency providing the "White box" is doing anything wrong in this case, provided they also have boxes of various ethnicities.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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1958Fury
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
quote:
Originally posted by PeterK:
At least she's a lot less racist than the people who produced a questionnaire with a "White box" in it. If they wanted to ask about people's preferences re cultural and religious background, they should have done so. Neither of these corresponds to skin colour.

I don't think this is racist, though. We're not talking about job performance, or getting into a school; we're talking about physical attractiveness. One can respect someone without thinking them attractive.

But when dealing with something like physical attraction, physical attributes are important.

Note that the agency isn't saying, "No blacks need join our agency." But to suggest that appearance doesn't play a role in the dating scene is silly. As such, I don't think the agency providing the "White box" is doing anything wrong in this case, provided they also have boxes of various ethnicities.

My question there would be, does the online dating service we're discussing post pictures of the members? If so, I'm not so sure it's necessary to ask the race as well. Say I saw the profile of a pretty olive-skinned woman, and assumed she was, say, Latin-American. Then I found out later she was actually a light-skinned African-American. If I thought she was attractive from her photo, and I shared a lot of the interests listed in her profile, I wouldn't care a bit what her ancestry was.

(ETA: Just after posting, realized that the "race box" would help the site's search engine, making it easier to find people you find attractive. D'oh!)

Back to the OP (or closer to it, anyway), I have a question: What percentage of stupid ideas must a person have to be considered stupid? I'm sure history is riddled with intelligent, well-respected people who also happened to be racist, sexist, and homophobic. Okay, a lot of those might be "signs of the times" (it might have been hard NOT to be racist/sexist/etc in certain time periods), but even so...

If I meet a person and he's super-smart, and I agree with almost everything he says, and he's just full of ideas.... then suddenly I find out he's racist (or something just as stupid).... do I second-guess his other ideas as well? Do I rethink the other issues I agreed with?

Maybe it's a prejudice of my own, but racism is one of those things that immediately knocks 10 points off a person's IQ. I halfway with that was on the actual IQ tests: "Are you racist? (minus 10 points)."

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PeterK
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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
quote:
Originally posted by PeterK:
At least she's a lot less racist than the people who produced a questionnaire with a "White box" in it. If they wanted to ask about people's preferences re cultural and religious background, they should have done so. Neither of these corresponds to skin colour.

I don't think this is racist, though. We're not talking about job performance, or getting into a school; we're talking about physical attractiveness. One can respect someone without thinking them attractive.

But when dealing with something like physical attraction, physical attributes are important.

Note that the agency isn't saying, "No blacks need join our agency." But to suggest that appearance doesn't play a role in the dating scene is silly. As such, I don't think the agency providing the "White box" is doing anything wrong in this case, provided they also have boxes of various ethnicities.

No, I agree with ThistleSoftware, I'm not some totally colour-blind idealist, but I just don't understand how someone's race could possibly make them unattractive. Culture, language, religion, interests - sure. But not race per se.

And some here seem to put WAY too much emphasis on physical features anyway. Maybe if the lady in the OP was looking for a one-night stand to satisfy some whimsical urge to be with a man with certain physical feature/s, then physical features would be all-important. But why would she bother using a dating agency if that's all she wanted? She could just walk into bars etc til she saw what she wanted.

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1958Fury
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quote:
Originally posted by PeterK:
And some here seem to put WAY too much emphasis on physical features anyway.

Then you are truly enlightened, and I personally wish more people were like you. But you are not the agency's target audience, which is people looking for the total package: The right personality, height, weight, skin tone, etc.

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Michigan Girl
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quote:
Originally posted by 1958Fury:
Maybe it's a prejudice of my own, but racism is one of those things that immediately knocks 10 points off a person's IQ. I halfway with that was on the actual IQ tests: "Are you racist? (minus 10 points)."

But do you think people who are racist will admit it, even to themselves?

An example is my dad: "I'm not racist. I had black friends in high school. And no, I don't think calling someone a 'towel-head' is offensive."

Yes, he did say that and when I called him on it acted all surprised.

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1958Fury
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quote:
But do you think people who are racist will admit it, even to themselves?
Probably not [Frown]

So maybe self-awareness should be part of the IQ test.

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