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Author Topic: Samaritan Gifts - Promoting the Martyr in Your Dirty Females
Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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So, I recieved a notification from my grandparents about how sears is supporting teh gays (thanks, y'all. And you wonder why I never go home?).

At the bottom, their was a link ad containing this text. I wish to share it with you all because it's so very, well, frightening:

Christmas - Whether it's a Crown of Thorns necklace for Mom, a Purity Ring for your teenager, or a Christian wedding ring for you fiancee, Samaritan Arts has hundreds of Christian jewelry ideas for all of your gift giving occasions. For that gift they will always remember... www.samaritanarts.com
[Eek!] [Eek!]
Is anyone else frightened by this? Yeah, son, I'll remember that gift, as it draws blood every time I put it on.

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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A gift from that place would be good for the people in the church I saw (in the FL panhandle) that advertised "Live crucifixions!" during the Easter season.

ETA: Does the "Purity Ring" change color if you are no longer a virgin? If so, I got to get me a few.... [Wink]

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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"you fiancee" Nice copy editing.

Do men not need Chrisian wedding rings?

I love the list of categories. Purity rings, the Passion, Crosses, and Texas.

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I was hoping the crown of thorns necklace would have a chain shaped like thorns instead of a little pendant shaped like the crown. Not goth enough!

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Officially Heartless

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Buckleupp
Away in a Manager


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What, no nine-inch nail earrings?

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HA! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first Ha. -Stewie Griffin

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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Wouldn't nail bracelets and an anklet be more accurate?

And maybe a belly button ring that looks like a tiny Roman spear?

Gen "So going to Hell" Yus

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I hate purity rings. I hate them so much. I see them and instantly begin to seethe. My high school asked the girl students to sign and carry "purity pledge cards" to be turned in at the end of the year (if you kept your pledge) in exchange for a purity ring (donated by a thoughtful citizen). I flat-out refused. Apparently I was the only girl in my class of 300+ who did so...

Anyway. Truly charming jewelry site.

--------------------
"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

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Eddylizard
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I was disappointed that there wasn't a crown of thorns tiara.

--------------------
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people."

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by BlushingBride:
My high school asked the girl students to sign and carry "purity pledge cards" [emphasis mine]

Is this because purity is only important in females or because men would automatically be pure if it weren't for those wicked women (Adam and Eve anyone)?

ETA: I'm hoping I didn't just Ryda this thread.

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Sharpened Steel
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by BlushingBride:
My high school asked the girl students to sign and carry "purity pledge cards" to be turned in at the end of the year (if you kept your pledge)

How exactly would they know if one kept the pledge? Were they doing on site examinations? Or is it a "you're pure so you can't possibly be lying just for appearances" kind of thing?

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Get used to his bad habits and decide whether you can put up with them...the rest of your life. 'Cause if you don't, then one day, you find yourself in the shed, sharpening the axe and idly wondering how thick the human skull really is.
-ChickyBee

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bthyb
WiFi Christmas


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I want to know why he bothers selling Jewish jewelery. The bottom of that page says he gets that jewelery from other manufacturers - so why even bother?

I'd rather buy Jewish jewelery from a Judaica store, or at least from a store that wasn't so blatantly Christian.

No offense meant to Christians - but pick a side, darnit.

--------------------
If you say you love ice cream, you better be dreaming of an orgy with Ben, Jerry, and one fine-ass chunky monkey.

-- My sister and poet extraordinaire, Joanna Hoffman

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
Do men not need Chrisian wedding rings?

I'm still stuck on what makes the ring Christian. Did it accept the Apostle's Creed? Recite the Sinner's Prayer?

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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vanilla
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Buckleupp:
What, no nine-inch nail earrings?

You could get these on e-bay! [Wink]

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I swear, it was funnier in my head.
Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink.

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Sharpened Steel:
quote:
Originally posted by BlushingBride:
My high school asked the girl students to sign and carry "purity pledge cards" to be turned in at the end of the year (if you kept your pledge)

How exactly would they know if one kept the pledge? Were they doing on site examinations? Or is it a "you're pure so you can't possibly be lying just for appearances" kind of thing?
Far be it for me to claim to know the mind of a dolt, but my suspicion is that you're asking the wrong question: "How exactly would they know if one kept did not keep the pledge?" Simple: her expanding belly.

--------------------
"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Sharpened Steel:
quote:
Originally posted by BlushingBride:
My high school asked the girl students to sign and carry "purity pledge cards" to be turned in at the end of the year (if you kept your pledge)

How exactly would they know if one kept the pledge? Were they doing on site examinations? Or is it a "you're pure so you can't possibly be lying just for appearances" kind of thing?
You had to sign another paper swearing you had kept your pledge. I was always very creeped out by this, on the grounds that NO ONE KNEW what happened to all those papers when they were collected. I kept trying to convince my friends that somewhere, there was a creepy old man with signed contracts on his wall, somehow getting off on spreading "purity." I had visions of him dancing naked, and tipping a glass of wine to one of the contracts, saying "Ah, Angela. To you, my little virginal beauty." And my friends would say "Look, I'm sure if you ask nicely they'll give you one of the rings." Gaaagh!


quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
Is this because purity is only important in females or because men would automatically be pure if it weren't for those wicked women (Adam and Eve anyone)?

Yes. The girls also had to attend an assembly twice a year about it. The one in fall usually carried a "you're smarter than the boys, so be proud of yourselves and say no to sex!" kind of theme. (They also told us we should carry our books to cover our chests, so as not to entice "unwanted attention" and that we should dress very modestly so that people would know we were "proper ladies.") But by the second semester, they seemed to lose hope and one got the impression that the speaker was just holding himself back from saying "What are you, a bunch of sluts? Keep your legs together, you dirty little harlots!"

The boys, meanwhile, got free period during this time.


In most respects, it was a great school, but the few times they had to deal with sex, I was always disgusted at the way it was handled.

--------------------
"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

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Towknie
We Three Blings


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I thought it was hilarious that he's got a whole section of Texas jewelry. God, Texas, Jewelry...It all goes together!

ETA -- I particularly liked this one

 -

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Towknie: Ryda-certified as wonderful, enlighted, and rational.

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I was rather fond of these:

 -

I'm not sure if it's just me with a sick mind, but, well, if I saw a person wearing that, I wouldn't think of Jeebus right off.

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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ChelleGame
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by bthyb:
...blatantly Christian. [/QB]

Nuthin' -- just amused by the phrase.

--------------------
Michelle

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by One-Horse Open Jay Temple:
quote:
Originally posted by Sharpened Steel:
quote:
Originally posted by BlushingBride:
My high school asked the girl students to sign and carry "purity pledge cards" to be turned in at the end of the year (if you kept your pledge)

How exactly would they know if one kept the pledge? Were they doing on site examinations? Or is it a "you're pure so you can't possibly be lying just for appearances" kind of thing?
Far be it for me to claim to know the mind of a dolt, but my suspicion is that you're asking the wrong question: "How exactly would they know if one kept did not keep the pledge?" Simple: her expanding belly.
Yes, all extramarital sex results in pregnancy.

--------------------
Officially Heartless

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bthyb
WiFi Christmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.:
I was rather fond of these:

 -

I'm not sure if it's just me with a sick mind, but, well, if I saw a person wearing that, I wouldn't think of Jeebus right off.

I thought that was a microphone - so that's the symbol for game show hosts or something.

quote:
Originally posted by ChelleGame:
quote:
Originally posted by bthyb:
...blatantly Christian.

Nuthin' -- just amused by the phrase. [/QB]
Did I say something funny? [Confused]

--------------------
If you say you love ice cream, you better be dreaming of an orgy with Ben, Jerry, and one fine-ass chunky monkey.

-- My sister and poet extraordinaire, Joanna Hoffman

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Eddylizard
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.:
I was rather fond of these:

 -

I'm not sure if it's just me with a sick mind, but, well, if I saw a person wearing that, I wouldn't think of Jeebus right off.

It looks like a vampire trying to strangle a duck. [Eek!]

quote:
I hope that this pendant will serve as a reminder of the responsibility that each of us bears in the crucifixion of the Lord of Glory
Hey don't blame me, I wasn't even there.

--------------------
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people."

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by ThistleSoftware:
quote:
Originally posted by One-Horse Open Jay Temple:
"How exactly would they know if one kept did not keep the pledge?" Simple: her expanding belly.

Yes, all extramarital sex results in pregnancy.
I did say these are dolts.

ETA: or just complacent.

--------------------
"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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bthyb
WiFi Christmas


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quote:
Originally posted by One-Horse Open Jay Temple:
quote:
Originally posted by ThistleSoftware:
quote:
Originally posted by One-Horse Open Jay Temple:
"How exactly would they know if one kept did not keep the pledge?" Simple: her expanding belly.

Yes, all extramarital sex results in pregnancy.
I did say these are dolts.

ETA: or just complacent.

Or complacent dolts, which are kind of like lobotomized sheep.

(Do sheep really need a lobotomy? Aren't they stupid enough? Okay, it was on a radio show last night - the lobotomized sheep reference, that is.)

Annndddd...I'm stopping.

--------------------
If you say you love ice cream, you better be dreaming of an orgy with Ben, Jerry, and one fine-ass chunky monkey.

-- My sister and poet extraordinaire, Joanna Hoffman

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by One-Horse Open Jay Temple:
quote:
Originally posted by ThistleSoftware:
quote:
Originally posted by One-Horse Open Jay Temple:
"How exactly would they know if one kept did not keep the pledge?" Simple: her expanding belly.

Yes, all extramarital sex results in pregnancy.
I did say these are dolts.

ETA: or just complacent.

But they're complacent for the Lord.

--------------------
Officially Heartless

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
"you fiancee" Nice copy editing.

Do men not need Chrisian wedding rings?


I believe "fiancee" is a unisex word...

Maple"Not that the rest of it isn't crap, or that they weren't implying only women. I'm just in a nitpicky kinda mood"Leaf

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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Aud
We Three Blings


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I always kinda wanted a signet ring. When did they become purity indicators?
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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by LeaflessMapleTree:
quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
"you fiancee" Nice copy editing.

Do men not need Chrisian wedding rings?


I believe "fiancee" is a unisex word...

Maple"Not that the rest of it isn't crap, or that they weren't implying only women. I'm just in a nitpicky kinda mood"Leaf

The second e indicates a feminine ending. The word indicating a male bethroved is "finace"

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by LeaflessMapleTree:
quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
"you fiancee" Nice copy editing.

Do men not need Chrisian wedding rings?


I believe "fiancee" is a unisex word...

Maple"Not that the rest of it isn't crap, or that they weren't implying only women. I'm just in a nitpicky kinda mood"Leaf

I believe it was the non-possessive "you" he was objecting to.

Blushing "Thank you for you post" Bride

--------------------
"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Aud:
I always kinda wanted a signet ring. When did they become purity indicators?

Apparently, when you use the signet with the enclosed wax to seal your purity declaration.

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by BlushingBride:
I believe it was the non-possessive "you" he was objecting to.

Blushing "Thank you for you post" Bride

Actually, it was both. The non-possesive "you" was the subject of the "nice copy editing" part. The men not needing a ring was due the the finacee. If someone is not paying attention, they might use "fiance" for both male and female. But "fiancee" means they most likely mean just the women.

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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nurple
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.:
quote:
Originally posted by Aud:
I always kinda wanted a signet ring. When did they become purity indicators?

Apparently, when you use the signet with the enclosed wax to seal your purity declaration.
At least they don't use the wax to seal something else, therefore ensuring purity.

Hmmm...signet...wax...can't wait for DH to come home tonight! [Wink]

--------------------
"You better respect the Rap or the Rap won't respect you." Ledatru

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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That might work. If you had to get the equivilent of a full Brazilian wax before giving up "their flower", it might limit the number of young ladies spoiling themselves.

PS. Marriage licenses would include wax dissolver. [Wink]

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong, EBfCo.:
quote:
Originally posted by LeaflessMapleTree:
quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
"you fiancee" Nice copy editing.

Do men not need Chrisian wedding rings?


I believe "fiancee" is a unisex word...

Maple"Not that the rest of it isn't crap, or that they weren't implying only women. I'm just in a nitpicky kinda mood"Leaf

The second e indicates a feminine ending. The word indicating a male bethroved is "finace"
Ah, of course. I'm used to hearing it, not writing it. But my bad.

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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quote:
Originally posted by BlushingBride:
The girls also had to attend an assembly twice a year about it. The one in fall usually carried a "you're smarter than the boys, so be proud of yourselves and say no to sex!" kind of theme. (They also told us we should carry our books to cover our chests, so as not to entice "unwanted attention" and that we should dress very modestly so that people would know we were "proper ladies.") always disgusted at the way it was handled.

Please, please, please tell me this was not a public school.

Pogue

--------------------
Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by nurple:
Hmmm...signet...wax...can't wait for DH to come home tonight! [Wink]

Looks like I won't be the only one playing this weekend [Wink]

BTW - what an intriguing idea. A new twist to wax play

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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