posted
I was bored (REALLY BORED) and watching an infomercial for something called the Nu Wave Oven, which supposedly cuts the cooking time for food in half by using conduction, convection, and infra red cooking power all at the same time. Cool. So they're showing the testimonials, and there is a soldier speaking about the product. He actually says, "When I go to the field, the Nu Wave Oven goes even before my rifle".
Okay, I know they are trying to sell a product here, but that has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've heard in an infomercial.
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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Informercial hyperbole is the greatest source of humour in the known universe. I miss Amazing Discoveries. The nearest I get is watching the Friends episode where Joey is showing how hard it is to open a milk carton and winds up spilling it everywhere, along with my happy memories.
quote:Originally posted by MapleLeaf: "When I go to the field, the Nu Wave Oven goes even before my rifle".
When my husband used to go to the field all those years ago, the last thing they took was electricity.
Unless this thing runs on batteries...
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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posted
The enemy would charge fearlessly towards our riflemen, but now we can lob a barrage of well cooked pies at them, they run screaming in terror.
-------------------- "Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people." Posts: 997 | From: Maidstone, UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
I don't have anything to add other than that is hilarious.
Damn, that must be some good oven!
-------------------- saxea ut effigies bacchantis prospicit eheu | prospicit et magnis curarum fluctuat undis -Catullus Posts: 435 | From: Iowa | Registered: Mar 2006
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Eddylizard: The enemy would charge fearlessly towards our riflemen, but now we can lob a barrage of well cooked pies at them, they run screaming in terror.
If they were pies cooked by me, you'd run in terror, too.
Who knew that ketchup and chocolate don't go together very well?
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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Joe Bentley
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
What's got me is how flippin' hard they make whatever common task that whatever magic product they are selling is supposed to make easier look.
For instance that loud bearded OxiClean guy has a commercial for the OxiClean Ball, a device that automatically adds detergent to your wash.
But during the commercial they show people measuring out liquid and powdered detergents and somehow manage to spill them everywhere. You know I've never had that much problem with detergent. Maybe I'm gifted.
-------------------- "Existence has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long." - Rorschach, The Watchmen Posts: 8929 | From: Norfolk, Virginia | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Eddylizard: The enemy would charge fearlessly towards our riflemen, but now we can lob a barrage of well cooked pies at them, they run screaming in terror.
If they were pies cooked by me, you'd run in terror, too.
Who knew that ketchup and chocolate don't go together very well?
quote:Two chefs and members of the audience attempt to make a meal within 20 minutes using ingredients "brought in" by the audience members (to a value of £5) and anything from the larder (just about anything a normal person would have).
"Well Ainsley, what I've got for you here is a bar of chocolate, a bottle of ketchup and some puff pastry. Make something out of that!"
-------------------- "Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people." Posts: 997 | From: Maidstone, UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:"Well Ainsley, what I've got for you here is a bar of chocolate, a bottle of ketchup and some puff pastry. Make something out of that!"
"Aaaand that's time. Canuckistan, what have you come up with? ... Oh, I see. You've made a lovely puff pastry with chocolate melted over it! Well done. But wait...what happened to the ketchup?"
Canuck: "You didn't think I would make a puff pastry that didn't have filling, do you?"
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
I always loved the commercial for some sort of hand-held sewing machine, and in the 'look how hard a regular sewing machine is to use' montage, they showed a women using a real sewing machines to make drapes. While the drapes were hanging in the window. As in, she was holding up this massive full size sewing machine and trying to sew fabric hanging in front of the window.
I laughed so hard I was crying. That and the idiots in the pancake commercial flipping pancakes all over the stove. Heh.
Posts: 160 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I was going to mention what Joe Bentley did. I actually think it's pretty funny when the commercial actors perform an ordinary task with the brain of a gnat in order to really show you how hard the old product is and how wonderful the new product is.
As for the OxiClean guy, WHY IS HE ALWAYS YELLING?!
-------------------- "My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League. Posts: 1815 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jul 2004
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Lydia Oh Lydia: As for the OxiClean guy, WHY IS HE ALWAYS YELLING?!
Because acne is the leading cause of hearing loss.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Joe Bentley: W You know I've never had that much problem with detergent. Maybe I'm gifted.
Neither have I; I guess we're both gifted. Doncha just love the hokey acting on these ads? I love the Garden weasel one where the woman is trying to pull a small weed and throws her back out. Cracks me up every time!
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I like the exercise machine ones that show the imbecile incompetently using a treadmill in the 'before this product' montage. Uh okay, so what, this guy's forgotten how to WALK?
-------------------- "We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton Posts: 377 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Eddylizard: The enemy would charge fearlessly towards our riflemen, but now we can lob a barrage of well cooked pies at them, they run screaming in terror.
They can also be dropped from planes, making them quite versatile!
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by dissonance I always loved the commercial for some sort of hand-held sewing machine, and in the 'look how hard a regular sewing machine is to use' montage, they showed a women using a real sewing machines to make drapes. While the drapes were hanging in the window. As in, she was holding up this massive full size sewing machine and trying to sew fabric hanging in front of the window.
Whatever small amount of faith I ever had in Infomercials was lost when I saw that one. The only redeeming quality of it was that it was so damn funny.
-------------------- Heisenberg may have slept here.
I got an idea... an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. Posts: 291 | From: Greenville, SC | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
I love infomercials. I like the ones for the Magic Bullet where they tell you that you'll use it for every meal. I don't know about you, but I can only eat so much chopped food. (Not that they aren't handy little choppers, but come ON!)
Canuck and MapleLeaf:
-------------------- "My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich." "Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?" "Maybe." Posts: 496 | From: Whitby, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Unrelated to that, the Magic Bullet infomercial becomes even funnier whe you realize that these people all spent the night at the hosts/shills' house. Which could lead one's mind on a course that is related to the other Magic Bullet, or an idea that I find both more sinister and funnier: The crazy couple drugged all their friends with the intent of selling them blenders the next morning.
(BTW, I just noticed your sig line, Joe. Sharin' the Eureka love!)
-Tabby the princess with claws
-------------------- If you don't appreciate the irony, the irony appreciates.
"Sappiness and medieval violence: it's a wonderful combination. Like chocolate and peanut butter for the mind." -me on my fantasy novel-in-progress Posts: 2281 | From: Arizona | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Lydia Oh Lydia: As for the OxiClean guy, WHY IS HE ALWAYS YELLING?!
Your version of Barry Scott? I remember laughing so much in the US when I saw an add for the same product marketed "Easy off! Bam" with the same type of cheesy advert. Even more so because I was with a bunch of Futurama nerdsa at the time I was thinking about Elzar. Knocked it up a notch. Bam!
Posts: 1985 | From: Reading, England | Registered: Dec 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Lydia Oh Lydia: As for the OxiClean guy, WHY IS HE ALWAYS YELLING?!
Because acne is the leading cause of hearing loss.
OxyClean is a detergent for everything, not the same Oxy as for acne. But you stil OMANK.
My SO thinks the Magic Bullet looks like an oversized..."pleasure device." That commercial bugs me because one of the guests is smoking and has a long ash hanging off the cigarette all the time. I scream at the TV, "It's gonna get in the food!" but they never listen.
-------------------- "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie." -Apu (The Simpsons) Posts: 2026 | From: 10 miles South of Boston | Registered: Oct 2002
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- coughs - I own a magic bullet. However, as landmammal pointed out, the one I have runs on two AA batteries (which I recently swiped to put in my wireless mouse during a long exp session on Lineage 2. Priorities!).
-------------------- "There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein Posts: 1058 | From: Yakima, WA | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by dissonance: I always loved the commercial for some sort of hand-held sewing machine, and in the 'look how hard a regular sewing machine is to use' montage, they showed a women using a real sewing machines to make drapes. While the drapes were hanging in the window. As in, she was holding up this massive full size sewing machine and trying to sew fabric hanging in front of the window.
My mother got me one of those hand held sewing machines some time ago. I don't use it a whole lot, preferring to hand sew whatever needs to be sewn. However I did use it to make a coat for my Doberman a few years ago, and it wasn't too shabby. What's shocking is that a lot of people cannot tell that the coat is homemade.
Dawn--my current Dobe wears it now--Storm
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Tabbymago: Unrelated to that, the Magic Bullet infomercial becomes even funnier whe you realize that these people all spent the night at the hosts/shills' house. Which could lead one's mind on a course that is related to the other Magic Bullet, or an idea that I find both more sinister and funnier: The crazy couple drugged all their friends with the intent of selling them blenders the next morning.
(BTW, I just noticed your sig line, Joe. Sharin' the Eureka love!)
-Tabby the princess with claws
And it's all so very not-rehearsed...because at casual get-togethers I always gather everyone around the kitchen counter and make the day's meals all at once.
-------------------- "My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich." "Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?" "Maybe." Posts: 496 | From: Whitby, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
I guess I'm also gifted when it comes to measuring laundry detergent as I've never had a problem with spilling. I also laugh at the hand-held sewing machine commercial where they imply that the traditional machine is hard to use. All you need to do is to remove the drapes from the window BEFORE trying to sew.
Those Magic Bullet commercials are also funny because of the coincidence that there's an adult toy with the same name, and the idea that those guests were ambushed with a sales pitch in the morning.
Posts: 223 | From: Long Beach, CA | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I must be gifted when it comes to cooking pasta. I never spill it all over the place.
The Bedazzler commercials are funny to me. I think it's the way the woman talks.
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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A friend of mine wanted the thing that cooks spaghetti. I had to talk him out of it, seriously. I said "OK, so, you put the pasta into the tube, pour in the boiling water and it cooks. How is that so different from boiling the water and putting the pasta into the pan, where it cooks?" All he could say was "Um, the pan?" Yikes.
ETA: Here it is: The Pasta Pronta "Say goodbye to dangerous boil-overs and sticky messes!" Yeah, because cooking pasta is a real challenge.
posted
I don't really know what the point of advertising toothbrushes with finger grips "for greater control" is, apart from pointless innovation. I don't know how fast you brush your teeth, but I've never actually lost control of a toothbrush...
-------------------- All the way with Paulie Jay Posts: 476 | From: Sydney, NSW, Australia | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Paulie Jay: I don't really know what the point of advertising toothbrushes with finger grips "for greater control" is, apart from pointless innovation. I don't know how fast you brush your teeth, but I've never actually lost control of a toothbrush...
I'm somewhat embarassed to admit I lose my grip on my toothbrush quite frequently. I don't think I brush harder or faster than average - I think I'm just clumsy and can't control my hand in that type of motion. When the toothbrush slips, I'm usually pushing it in the back-and-forth or up-and-down motion, and somehow I wind up ramming it into my gums. It hurts, especially when I stab myself where my gums and cheek meet. I also am a sloppy brusher who manages to get flecks of toothpaste all over the mirror, sink, and sometimes my clothes. I don't know why.
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
I brush that way too. I'm also very messy when I wash my face. I don't have the panache those models do.
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Maybe you need this: A self-cleaning mirror. Okay, so it's not THAT kind of mirror, but still...
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by dissonance: I always loved the commercial for some sort of hand-held sewing machine, and in the 'look how hard a regular sewing machine is to use' montage, they showed a women using a real sewing machines to make drapes. While the drapes were hanging in the window. As in, she was holding up this massive full size sewing machine and trying to sew fabric hanging in front of the window.
I laughed so hard I was crying. That and the idiots in the pancake commercial flipping pancakes all over the stove. Heh.
Just reading the description I laughed so hard I cried. Even tried finding it on youtube, but no such luck.
-------------------- "England and America are two countries divided by a common language." - George Bernard Shaw Posts: 555 | From: Ireland | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Tony Little has a Geico commercial too. Every bit as annoying as his others.
Little "you can dewittttttt!" Duck
-------------------- "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie." -Apu (The Simpsons) Posts: 2026 | From: 10 miles South of Boston | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Eddylizard: The enemy would charge fearlessly towards our riflemen, but now we can lob a barrage of well cooked pies at them, they run screaming in terror.
If they were pies cooked by me, you'd run in terror, too.
Who knew that ketchup and chocolate don't go together very well?
I've got a recipe for baked chicken that calls for ketchup and maple syrup. This sounds right up your alley.
-------------------- "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse Posts: 396 | From: Pasadena, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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