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» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » Rantidote » Letters You Wish You Could Send - November 2006 (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Letters You Wish You Could Send - November 2006
Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Bill:

The teacher said that if there's someone who can't come up with the dollar, to let him know, and some students laughed at that, but, believe me, there easily could have been someone in there whose family couldn't spare the dollar or was strict with the pursestrings and would not let the student have it.

I never forgot that.

Thanks.

Bill

Kudos to your teacher for allowing the kids to be discreet about it like that. I recall all too well how the Free Lunch program at our school was supposed to be kept quiet so the kids who were eligible for it wouldn't be teased. That concept was lost on our fourth grade teacher (whose other greatest hits included telling us that "RSVP" stood for "Respond soon very promptly" - and this in an area where almost everyone knew someone who spoke French, thanks to a big Quebecois community). Every week, when it came time to collect lunch and milk money, she would start out by asking out loud, "Who takes free lunch?" Anyone who did do so but didn't answer could expect not to be fed the following week. Anyone who did answer never heard the end of it from the other kids.

--------------------
Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Dear DVR,

WHY??? WHY??? WHY???
Why did you delete everything? Why did you eat all of our glorious programming? I hadn't even watched Tuesday's House yet!

Thank the tv gods that we saw Monday's Heroes mere hours before you went nutty.

Sadly,
BB

--------------------
"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

Posts: 858 | From: Arlington, Texas | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
CherryQueen
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Not-So-Dear Person who took my calendar,
Umm, why did you take my calendar? And the thumbtack holding it? And my name badge from shadowing NYLC? What can you possibly DO with those things? You've got to be the same person who took N's plant. Give us our stuff back, you NFBSKing klepto!

No Love,
CQ

--------------------
"Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com

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FredCat
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Dear Broadband Connection,

You're BACK! Please never do that again. I can't function without internet access.

Dear Roadie and paisley boo (from October...)

I fear I may be tricked by my own tricks if I do that. That would be very embarrassing. And slightly disgusting.

But thanks for the suggestions!

FredCat

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Dear Self:

Stop reading Wild Kingdom threads that talk about abuse of dogs. Just stop. It only upsets you.

Me

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by LittleDuck:
Dear People Who Keep Calling My Cell Number,

I am not "Amy". I have never been "Amy" nor do I plan to become "Amy." I don't care what she owes you. Stop NFBSKing calling me.

-Pissed off person


Dear Snopesters,

Anyone know how to get these people to stop bothering me?

-LittleDuck

This might take a little time and effort at first, but this is what to do:

1. Take down the name, number, company name and company address of the person who calls you. Tell him/her that they have the wrong number and that they are NOT to call that number again and to flag the account accordingly. Make sure to keep a list of everyone you talk to, along with times of calls, titles, etc. You might need this list.

2. If that person says they can't/don't have the authority/give you some other excuse, work your way up the supervisory ladder until someone can do it.

3. Point out your state's appropriate law cites, if necessary. As well as the federal ones. You can find appropriate laws at your state's attorney general's website by searching for "debtor" and/or "collections". You can also google those terms along with the term "penalties" to find various advice websites. Jot down the penalties that apply.

4. If they call again, point out that they are now in violation of federal and/or state law and if they call again you will file suit. Remind them of the appropriate penalties.

5. You can google the company's name and find out their address (if they won't provide it for you). You can send a cease and desist letter. Be sure to send it certified.

6. You can file suite in small claims or whatever appropriate court to receive whatever penalties/damages the law allows.

I'm guessing that if this company (or companies) is like most, they will stop as soon as you ask them to. They are quite familiar with the law, they just think you aren't. Once you show them you know your rights, they tend to back off pretty quickly.

--------------------
Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

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Lawgiver
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Jelly Fish Queen:
quote:
Originally posted by Lawgiver:
quote:
Originally posted by Jelly Bean Queen:
~snip~

Letter # Two
Dear Mr and Mrs Me First,
Just wanted to express my disappontment that your son/daughter will be unable to join every other member of his/her class on our upcoming excursion. Just in case your rampant self absorbtion has addled your memory, I am refering to the one excursion this year that is vital to cementing your child's understanding of the subject and may perhaps have kindled a keener interest in learning for your son/daughter.

Of course I understand how pressing your finances are these days. Brand new cars, plasma TVs, flashy clothes, porn, salon dye jobs, the wife's new boob job and the numerous cartons of cigarettes and beer you require weekly are so much more important that your child's future and can quickly deplete ones resources. I blame the government and all of the taxes they put on beer and cigarettes. How selfish of them to want to discourage behaviour that is so obviously vital to your existance.

I understand that should any future educational opportunity arise I should just refrain from bothering you with the details and just pay for it myself out of my own exorbitant teacher's salary. I apologise for embarrassing you by sending the excursion note in the first place.

Your Son/daughters 'overpaid and underworked according to you' teacher.

Edited because a teacher oughta spel things rite.

Jelly Bean 'teaching would be great if it wasn't for the parents' Queen

Dear teacher,

I do not drink, smoke , nor do I own a plasma screen tv. my car is 18 years old and I can not afford a newer one. Every month I have to make a descision on which bill gets put off til next month, that is at least if we want to eat. I would love for my child to attend field trips, as I know it is a fun learning process. I however can not afford it.

P.S. this was typed on a computer still running Windows98.


Students mom.


Dear Student's Mom,
You were not the parents I was writng to on this occasion. I apologise if you accidently recieved that particular letter. We know about parents like you and we put in for your kids' excursions without complaint. We appreciate the things you do for your kids. Believe it or not we are in the same boat- we are not so rich either.

We have a system to allow for dedicated parents without plasma TVs or expensive vices. Please enquire at the school office. Your child shouldn't have to miss out.

Sincerely
Your child's teacher who has had enough of wealthy parents who don't give a toss about their children's future.



Dear teacher,
I am so sorry I misunderstood. Thank you for letting me know what I can do so my child will not miss trips. I know being a teacher is a thankless job and I would like for you to know that I appreciate what you do for our children.

Thank you

Students mom


~~~~~~~~~~

Dear POS car,

You were just fixed last week, now there is another leak ? I can't afford this.


~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear boss,

It was really nice of you to send that psycho bitch that complained on me last week a 100.00 gift card, it was even nicer of you to accidently leave her name, address and phone number where I could get it. *insert evil laughter here*

Your still pissed off employee

--------------------
I looked at my sleeping husband and longed to plunge my elbow through his peaceful face. ~ Annissa

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Avril
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Powers That Be,

It is not fair of you to withhold 25 hours worth of work from my paycheck because somebody lost my timesheets and suddenly found them today and cutting an extra check is only done in "emergencies." Being paid for those extra 25 hours--10 of which, by the way, were overtime that your "payment adjustment" for the next pay period will not reflect--two weeks late is more than irritating; I am not sure if it is even legal.

I would be more understanding but this is the fourth time this has happened. Get your act together now.

Your frustrated employee,
Avril

--------------------
There is no failure unless one stops. --Ray Bradbury

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Loyhargil
We Three Blings


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Dear jaw,
Now I can't even eat chunky applesauce? Can't even slowly mash a water chestnut? Last week you refused to bite through a radish, and now this? ARGH, you suck! I'm so beating you to death with doctors!
Me

Dear microwavable heating pad,
You are the best invention ever!
Love,
Me

--------------------
Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee.

Posts: 1170 | From: Iowa | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
glisp42
I'm Dreaming Of A White iPod


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Dear person who called me looking for Yvonne,
When I say, "You have the wrong number" that means you have the wrong number. No I don't know who Yvonne is and I have no idea why she put my fax number down as her number.

Signed,
The nice person who did not raise his voice but simply reiterated the "wrong number" and added, "please do not call here again" before gently hanging up the phone.

Dear cold/flu/bird flu/whatever,
Please just go away. I need to get back to work.
I will kill you with hot toddies

Signed,
Me

--------------------
What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK" and other lingo mean?

And we'll collect the moments one by one I guess that's how the future's done. -Feist

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Jelly Bean Queen
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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quote:
Originally posted by Lawgiver:
Dear teacher,
I am so sorry I misunderstood. Thank you for letting me know what I can do so my child will not miss trips. I know being a teacher is a thankless job and I would like for you to know that I appreciate what you do for our children.

Thank you

Students mom

Dear Student's Mom,
You are welcome. Every thank you we recieve strengthens our resolve to carry on despite the beaurocracy. Please don't hestitate to contact your child's teacher and ask what strategies are in place at your local school to help pay for field trips. Most teachers want to help you in any way they can.
Sincerely
An average teacher in an average town

--------------------
Something witty yet profound that makes me look smarter than I am.

Posts: 51 | From: Sydney, NSW, Australia | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
onein6billion
Deck the Malls


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Dear Former Manager,

I hope you know that you are the only reason I quit. You wanna ride me for something someone else didn't do, fine. You wanna question my work ethics, whatever. You bring my dad into it and you crossed the line big-time. You know how upset I was and you threw it back in my face. And you better believe I told your boss every crappy little remark you made before I left. I have never walked out of a job before in my life, it's just not my style. But you know what? Today, it felt good. Enjoy working double shifts until you can train a replacement. It's no less than you deserve.

Your still extremely POed ex-employee [flame]

--------------------
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
"Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." - Jon Stewart
my space on myspace--now showing "80's Video Of The Week"

Posts: 278 | From: Bel Air, MD | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Bach_girl
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Dear God,

Please let grandma recover well.

The family that loves her more than she could possibly know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear nerves,

You HAVE to get through this no matter what. You are strong enough. You need to be strong for mom and the kids.

Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other grandma,

3 weeks, then you are out of the nursing home. We have your new place picked out and it is actually closer than an hour away. I am sorry I have not been able to visit recently- I will as soon as possible.

Your granddaughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Job folks,

Why on earth did you start taking resumes in October when you don't intend to fill the positions until January? You are not helping the problem with my nerves.

Your ever loyal employee who REALLY wants full-time

~~~~~~~~~~~

DH,

Do you have ANY idea what kind of hell I am going through right now? Thanks for being a big whiny crybaby and making things even worse. I told you the shirt was too small because I didn't want you to get embarassed if you wore it to work- not because I am some kind of evil nasty witch who thinks you look like a whale. You are way too damn sensitive and frankly I have absolutely no patience for it right now.

Furthermore- we are both adults. I am not responsible for your mental well-being and I will not weigh every word I say from here until the end of my life- worrying that I am going to say something that might in some remote way hurt your feelings- period. If you can't deal with that I don't know what to tell you.

Signed,

Your frustrated wife who will just throw the damn shirt away when you are not looking the next time.

--------------------
"My Very Educated Mother Just Said Uh-oh! No...Pluto..."~ Steven Colbert

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LittleDuck
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Rob,
Unfortunately the cell phone provider is difficult to deal with. I wanted to block all calls from coming through if they were "unavailable" and they said I can't do that (though it could have been that employee being a jerk, I dunno).

-LittleDuck


Dear BlushingBride,
Check cable channels. A lot of broadcast networks now let cable partners show the network shows, sometimes within a few days of the original broadcast airdate. Heroes is on SciFi, Law and Order SVU is on USA Network on Sunday nights (the newest episodes), and I know more are out there too. You can check out cites like IMDB.com or TV.com, look up the name of the show and usually they will tell you the next airing of the show and the channel.

-LittleDuck

--------------------
"Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie." -Apu (The Simpsons)

Posts: 2026 | From: 10 miles South of Boston | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
UrbanReindeer
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Jocko's Gone Fishin':
quote:
Originally posted by UrbanRenewal:
Dearest Darlingest Wonderfullest Husband,

Yes, it's romantic as all heck you're leaving love notes all over the house for me. It'd be just a bit more romantic if any of them were in places I might actually find them. The box with the electric carving knife? Honey, do we EVER use that thing other than Thanksgiving?

Love ^a billion
Your Wifey.

Did you find it on your own or did he tell you where to look?
Dear Jocko,

When I haven't found a note he will suddenly insist that I need to get him the jar of peanut butter. Or that he must look at the carving knife.

I found two on my own, he says he's hidden over a dozen. It's cute and all, but I'm starting to feel kind of dumb!

--------------------
"He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse

Posts: 396 | From: Pasadena, CA | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Jelly Fish Queen:
quote:
Originally posted by Lawgiver:
Dear teacher,
I am so sorry I misunderstood. Thank you for letting me know what I can do so my child will not miss trips. I know being a teacher is a thankless job and I would like for you to know that I appreciate what you do for our children.

Thank you

Students mom

Dear Student's Mom,
You are welcome. Every thank you we recieve strengthens our resolve to carry on despite the beaurocracy. Please don't hestitate to contact your child's teacher and ask what strategies are in place at your local school to help pay for field trips. Most teachers want to help you in any way they can.
Sincerely
An average teacher in an average town

In a related tangent, I always let the school and teachers know that if they need me to kick in a little extra to help pay for someone, just let me know. Our PTA is pretty good about field trips and all, usually the students are paid for, we chaperones just need to pay for ourselves. The 3rd graders went to St. Mary's City a couple of weeks ago, and each student had to come up with $25 each, because it's a 3+ hour trip so they hired a tour bus (with a bathroom and movies on board) rather than take a school bus. That's kind of high, but it was worth it (although you STILL couldn't have paid me to go on the buses with all those kids! [lol] ).

--------------------
Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

Posts: 2211 | From: Harford County, MD | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Evil_eyes
We Three Blings


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I really wish I could send this one, but I think it might be best that I not but here it goes anyways.


Dear S,

Do you know how hard it is for me not to see my son often. I went from taking care of him everyday for five years to seeing him maybe once a week at best. In those five years your brother made little effort in helping me, even when he wasn't working. I was the one who took him to speech, karate classes, IEP meetings. I was there when went to school the for the first time, I was there when he graduated from his preschool classes. I was the one making sure he got his bath and tucked him in every night. I am the one who took him to the Doctors, gave him breathing treatments when he needed them. I did just about everything for L in those five years.
You only know what either your dad or brother tells you, and I am sure that J leaves things out.
So yes I have moved on from J, that does not make me a bad person. And yes I do live with someone else. However L knows nothing about him, they've never met nor spoken on the phone. Ofcourse L knows what is going on, it is only fair to him, we have tried to explain it the best we can to a 6yo that his mommy and daddy are not going to be togather.

I have made my mistakes, and I have had to live with them. I was the one who was addicted to pain killers resulting in a weeks stay in rehab, I take the blame for my course of action that cause J to kick me out. I didn't call nor come home the weekend I got out, instead I took the cowards way out, I decided that I couldn't face my own family if I went home that weekend, it may have came out differently if J actually saw a few things from my point of view and was the least bit supportative of me or something. But he wasn't there for me at all.

I have tried to put my life back togather this year, its been hard. I had everything taken away from me in one day. While it is mostly my fault I will not take all the blame. There were underlying factors that caused it all, both of us are to blame for that.

I may not be the best mother at the moment to L, but I am however still his mom. I know full well that I can try harder to see him more often, however its hard when J says one thing then when I call to confirm he tells me another. I am not the only one making the decision on wether to see L or not.

SIncerely T


Sorry for it being so long. I just got very upset after a message sent to me.

E*E

--------------------
"Taking all the pain I give you
Loving blindly in return
And I need you more than ever"
WWW.Myspace.com/E_E2000

Posts: 1243 | From: Northern VA | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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E-E, you need to have an agreement in writing with J as to visitation. Have written in there not only how often and for how long, but also the procedure to follow if either of you needs to change the schedule, how much notice to give the other parent, etc. Then you need to stick to it. Right now, the one thing you need to prove to everyone, especially your son, is your reliability. It's only natural that J's family will take his side, just as you would expect your family and friends to take yours. You have to consider the source of their information, think about whether or not they have any truth in their comments and then move on.

If you break someone's trust in you, it's a long road back to redemption. You broke trust with L, J, your combined family and friends and anyone else who cares about that little boy. You know you've changed, but you have to give everyone else the time and opportunity to see that ancd trust it for themselves. And the only thing that will prove the change in you is accepting your responsibility and livign up to it. Keep all appointments with or about your son, unless you ABSOLUTELY can't. Don't change the day you pick him up because it's the only night you can see the new boyfriend (I'm not saying you have, I'm just using that as an example).

You have to keep being consistent, consistent, consistent. And eventually people will realize they can rely on you again. And stop stressing about whether your son is safe (emotionally as well as physically) with you again.

Look at it this way: would you rather the SIL didn't care about your son or that she be overly-concerned about his well-being? If it was me, I'd rather someone err on the side of caution when it comes to my kids.

--------------------
Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

Posts: 2211 | From: Harford County, MD | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Evil_eyes
We Three Blings


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I wish I could post the message that she sent, but I am not. It is my fault really. I PM'ed her to say congrats on her son and all. I really shouldn't have. But I didn't think about I was trying to be nice.

She basically said that it was tacky of me to message her while I am off sleeping with other man while still married ( we've been sperated for more then a year and yes we are divorcing) to her brother. And that I should not be acting like a mother because she knows what type of mother i've become.

E* who is going off to cry some more*E

--------------------
"Taking all the pain I give you
Loving blindly in return
And I need you more than ever"
WWW.Myspace.com/E_E2000

Posts: 1243 | From: Northern VA | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Dear Self;

You've dodged not one, not two, but three proverbial bullets this week. Yes, you were doing the right thing for the right reason each time, but even still, your legendary karma has probably been about tapped out.

Chill out, lay low for awhile... don't make waves.


Oh, and don't even THINK about it. You know better.

--------------------
High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

Posts: 3402 | From: New Bern, NC | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Gabi
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Dear God,

I know I have often said that I am not good with subtle, and if it doesn't reach out and smack me I am not going to get it, but do you have to be so literal?
I already know that my life is going to that hot place in the tradition mode of transportation, a handbasket, but did you really have to send the ceiling crashing down on my head?
Just wanted to let you know I got the message loud and clear.
Going back to cleaning ceiling tile dust out of my hair.
Gabi

--------------------
"she chose the next moment to demonstrate her talent, very rare, for projectile vomiting while spinning" Bill Richardson about his new white bedspread

Posts: 19 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Em
Happy Holly Days


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Dear Me,

Buy yourself a decent soldering iron, and this time, don't lend it to anyone. Yes, you did the job with the butane iron, but the tips are so big you might as well heat up a spoon on the stove and try to use that.

Thanks in advance,

Em.



Dear HP,

Ha! I fixed your dodgy monitor assembly, and can now actually use my computer.

I thought it was a bit strange that both my and my mother's monitors developed the same fault within a couple of months of each other, so I wasn't particularly surprised when a bit of Googling found a known fault with your products. I wish I had known back then that it would take less than an hour to fix the fault. It would have saved my mum a couple of hundred dollars, but since I had no idea how long I would need to poke it with things to find out what was wrong with it I can understand that she needed a working monitor and couldn't afford to wait before buying a new one.

I must say I'm impressed with the precision of a fault which takes out your monitors within a month or two of warranty expiration, but I'm afraid that kind of precision isn't what I was after when I bought my computer. I won't be purchasing anything else from you or recommending your products to my friends in the foreseeable future.

Regards,

A dissatisfied customer.

--------------------
What the NFBSK does YOMANK mean?

Posts: 1646 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Algae
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Kohl's:

Thank you for such a good sale today! And thank you for setting those nice extra 15% off coupons on the break room table.

A satisfied shopper

Dear Self:

Snap together.

Yourself

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Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Don't drink and derive!

Posts: 1957 | From: Southeast Michigan | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
queen of the bah-caramels
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear Cats

It is -5C outside,pkease come in soon. I am not looking for you tonight.

I will only really worry when you demand to go out when the day time temp is - 20C .

Or I feel guilty or DH wonders where you are

Or Dkids demand dogs as you never return when you are called 'cos that's what dogs do"

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Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer

Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
NocturnalGoddess- naughty or nice?
Carol of the Dells


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Dear The Boyfriend,

Just stop being stupid. Why not propose? You know we're perfect for eachother. So [Razz]

-The Girlfriend

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"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, EVIL stuff... and I want in."- Homer Simpson

Posts: 2161 | From: Delaware | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ange84
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Dear Pibby (our cat),
I know it's been very hard lately, what with Grandma packing up her house until it was empty, then her putting you in the care for a long trip. And on top of all of that your in a new house a long way from home. I'm sorry bub, but Mummy and Daddy had to move, but your here now, but please eat and drink something, your making me feel like a terrible cat Mummy by sitting in the window sill all day looking outside and not eating or drinking anything. Please go back to normal baby and we will let you outside once we work out how to keep the prickles out of your feet and get a new lead for you.
Love Mummy

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Love is a sudden revelation: a kiss is always a discovery

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christmas tree kitapper
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Dear people,

I like working third shift. Honest. I like working 11 pm to 7 am. I did not "get stuck" working this shift; it is the one I applied for*. Is it really that hard to figure out that some people in this world like working shifts other than M-F 9-5?

Sheesh.

sincerely, the happy (mostly) night auditor

*This letter really only applies to the people who can't stop harping on the fact that I prefer this shift; most just make a comment or two and let it drop.

--------------------
"I have never in my life been more disappointed by a politician I voted for than I have been with George Bush. He is a total liberal."- overheard by me on the shuttle to the U of A game on Nov. 11th.

Posts: 3878 | From: Tucson, AZ | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Ms. Kringle
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Kitap, I didn't mind working thirds when I worked for a nursing home.

I did, however, loathe working days. Days suck, because morning insists upon coming so damned early.

--------------------
Beware corporate zombies! They will purchase your brain on E-Bay!

Posts: 2310 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Amethyst Dragon
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Algae:
Dear Kohl's:

Thank you for such a good sale today! And thank you for setting those nice extra 15% off coupons on the break room table.

A satisfied shopper


Dear Algae,
You're most wecome [Smile] Those coupons are good until we close tonight [Smile] Granted, the Super Saturday sale is over, but you still get the 15% off everything (except KCKs ang gift cards)

sincerely,
A Kohl's associate

Posts: 255 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
LadyLockeout
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Dear Downstairs Dog -

SHUT UP!!!!!!

The awakened tenent upstairs

--------------------
Katesune: We still can't find the way to albuquerque, and glisp won't stop to ask for directions.
Glisp42: Of course not. I know where I'm going, I just don't know where I am right now

Twisted Links

Posts: 2599 | From: Texas | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by NocturnalGoddess, tuna, not chicken:
Dear The Boyfriend,

Just stop being stupid. Why not propose? You know we're perfect for eachother. So [Razz]

-The Girlfriend

Why don't you?

--------------------
"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

Posts: 3572 | From: St. Louis, MO | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Lawgiver
Deck the Malls


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Dear Husband,

When I say I need to be at work by a specific time, that is because I need to be there. Not 10 minutes later, not 5. It is not done as a comspiracy to interrupt your precious sleep. This has gotten ridiculous, I am going to be running late again because you would not crawl your lazy ass out of bed 10 minutes earlier.

signed,

enough already

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I looked at my sleeping husband and longed to plunge my elbow through his peaceful face. ~ Annissa

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FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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Dear Husband,

I can't believe you said that to me. As if I didn't already feel ugly and *troll-like in your presence. Now I just want to crawl under a rock and cry till I die from it because it really hurt. I sure as hell hope you realized what you said was horrible and are concocting ways to make it up to me, because it is already hard enough for me to live and breathe without feeling this way on top of it.

~Your wife- remember, you chose me.

*no offense to any actual trolls.

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
glass papaya
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear Self,

Every weekend it's the same thing. Here's a refresher, once again.

If you put things away when you are done with them, you won't have a big pile of stuff next to your chair that needs to be sorted through and moved before you can vaccuum. You complain about it every week.

Sigh...you will forget in about two days.

gp

Posts: 544 | From: Onalaska, WI | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Dear F_F -

((hugs))

Roadie

--------------------
"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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