posted
This isn't exactly a rant, but I'm bothered by the following memo that came home with my daughter from school today. I removed names but did not correct errors in grammar and punctuation (that there are any in a paper from the school is a separate rant):
As a precautionary measure please be aware of your child's whereabouts.
There has been e-mails circulating about individuals who are trying to lure children into their vehicles in the area.
I spoke with (town) Police Director, Mr. Xxxxx Xxxxxxx who confirmed that a black Volvo with a suspicious individual was seen in (nearby town). I have not heard of any others.
Therefore, it is imperative that we remind children about strangers and what to do if they should encounter a stranger. Many times role playing is a good technique to use when reinforcing what children should do if approached by a stranger.
Should you have any questions please feel free to contact the police or me.
Have a good day.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
I understand the principal thinks she's being helpful, but it comes off as a bit condescending to me. I mean, I wouldn't be aware of my surroundings or my child's whereabouts without this reminder. Thanks for assuming you need to tell me to do my job!
Not to mention the information being passed on consists of a supposed email forward (because they're always true, right?), and mention of a Volvo with a "suspicious individual" spotted in a nearby town (which, though close, is actually not even in the same state).
It seems like a lot of fuss over nothing. I'm starting to understand why snopesters sometimes groan when the stranger danger thing comes up. Posts: 64 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Mar 2006
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ComicBookGeek
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
I'm more concerned with some of the gross gramatical errors than I am with the warning. There are probably a lot of parents who didn't know about the suspicious individual.
However, I agree, any good parent would already make every effort to know where his or her child is.
posted
Sounds like the school is taking precautions, needed or not. What's the harm?
Posts: 8 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by MG123: Sounds like the school is taking precautions, needed or not. What's the harm?
1. Unneeded precautions = wasted time and energy 2. This message does not have any useful details about what to look out for or when. 3. This message is based on useless information- an email circular and the sighting of a supposedly suspicious individual in a different town. 4. Worrying about unlikely events causes stress and does not solve anything. 5. Worrying about unlikely events distracts us from taking precautions against likely events. For example, role playing with your child to prevent stranger abductions does nothing to protect your child from being harmed by someone you already know- a much, much more likely occurance.
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by MG123: Sounds like the school is taking precautions, needed or not. What's the harm?
I have no problem with taking precautions. Every now and again, I get notes from my daughter's school saying things like "An alleged incident took place on such and such street (usually within a couple of blocks from the school). We will monitor the situation, keep in contact with the police, and keep you informed."
THAT's taking precautions. The problem I have with the OP is this:
quote: There has been e-mails circulating about individuals who are trying to lure children into their vehicles in the area.
I spoke with (town) Police Director, Mr. Xxxxx Xxxxxxx who confirmed that a black Volvo with a suspicious individual was seen in (nearby town). I have not heard of any others.
First it's "individuals", which could reasonably be seen as a severe problem. But then, the OP says that it really just one individual and he/she isn't even in the same town. And there are no specific incidents cited.
The fact that a suspicious looking person exists and who also drives a black Volvo and does so while in another town doesn't seem like just cause for sending out this kind of memo.
ETA: spanked by ThistleS
-------------------- I'm an excellent speller, but a lousy typist. "Just so you know, the words 'just' and 'cramps' - they don't go together." - Ginger Snaps Posts: 323 | From: Chandler, AZ | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Frozen Charlotte: Many times role playing is a good technique to use when reinforcing what children should do if approached by a stranger.
good thing my kids have DEF+5 against strangers.
and a +2 saving throw against kidnapping.
sorry, I had to.
-------------------- Resurrection of mankind to careen in silent pace. Feeling lonely. I am the dream that nobody dreams of, but will you dream of me, and dream of eternal desire? If you dream of me, will you live for me? Will you? Will you? Posts: 344 | From: Jacksonville, FL | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
I don't think this memo is necessarily a bad thing. As far as the individuals/individual thing goes, it looks like it may have been an attempt to clear up rumors that have been circulating by e-mail about individuals, but in fact only one individual in another town was confirmed by a police source. The other stuff in the memo about role playing and all that, along with the last three sentences, were just fluff to fill the memo.
Would you rather they did nothing about rumors that create hysteria because of false information? I guess the could have ignored it at the risk of misinformation continuing to be circulated, or a misjudgement of an actual threat, or they could have issued a nice, terse:
"Emails about individuals trying to lure children are wrong. There's only been one suspicious vehicle and it's not here. Stop worrying. That is all."
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Roadie - I don't see anything wrong with issuing an email that says "we know there are emails circulating out there about XYZ. We've looked into and have found no substantiating evidence. However, if you still feel concerned, here are some handy tips for this type of situation..."
There is no reason at all for a terse response, especially if you are trying to maintain an air of professionalism. Of course, as badly worded, spelled, and grammared as the OP is, I really doubt the Superintendent's ability to write a professional response.
ETA: I don't see the OP as being an attempt to clear anything up at all, especially snce it doesn't cleraly state that it's trying to clear things up. It looks to me like they are just trying to make people worry for no good reason.
-------------------- I'm an excellent speller, but a lousy typist. "Just so you know, the words 'just' and 'cramps' - they don't go together." - Ginger Snaps Posts: 323 | From: Chandler, AZ | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
It's basically a paper trail that removes liability from the school in the chance that something does happen. The superintendant is just covering her butt. I would accuse her of overreacting if she had forbid parents with black Volvos from dropping their kids off, or had made all kids go to a special predator awareness assembly, or something else along those lines that was a measurable waste of school time or money or incited undue alarm.
-------------------- There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who do not.
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" - The Brain Posts: 587 | From: Colorado | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
When I was at school we had the stranger-danger talk all the flippin time. Do they not do that there? I'd think that if there were any suspicious people around, the first thing they'd do is have an assembly teaching kids what to do if approached by a stranger, and then send a memo saying "we've done this, please back it up at home".
Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality. Posts: 779 | From: Southampton, England | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
SCHOOL IN (TOWN) FACES LAWSUIT FROM PARENT OF KIDNAPPED GIRL
Jane Jones is the mother of little Mary Jones who was kidnapped on October 10th of this year. Jane is mildly upset about the fact that her daughter is missing and a severed finger was placed in her mailbox, a finger which police have confirmed belongs to Mary Jones.
But what really has Jane in an uproar is that the school that Mary attends apparently had received e-mail warnings about suspicious predators lurking in the area attempting to lure children into their vehicles.
Town Police Director, Mr. Xxxxx Xxxxxxx, has confirmed that Xxxxxxxx Xxxxx, the Interim Superintendent of the school, contacted him last week. Town Police Director confirmed with Interim Superintendent that police were aware of a suspicious individual in a black Volvo, possibly the same black Volvo that friends say that Mary climbed into, in the area.
Jane is still awaiting DNA identification of the charred remains of a little girl with a missing finger. But in the meantime, she has hired Jeffrey Fiyger (spelled wrong on purpose) to bring a lawsuit of negligence against the school for not notifying parents of their apparently obvious parental obligations to actually raise their children. The suit is said to be for damages of up to 7 billion dollars.
Outlandish? Perhaps... but perhaps not in our society of shifting responsibility to anyone else. Can you really blame the school for covering their own butts at the expense of your inconvenience of throwing away a piece of paper?
Posts: 182 | From: Westland, MI | Registered: Dec 2005
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A man was brutally beaten in the town of XXXXX on Wednesday. It appears that parents from nearby XXXXX_XXXXX school were informed by the school that he may have been attempting to lure children into his car (a black Volvo). A group of irate parents travelled to XXXXX in order to confront the man and ensure the safety of their children. Apparently the situation became violent. The victim is recovering from head injuries and broken ribs in XXXXXX hospital. So far no charges have been laid.
Unrealistic?
-------------------- Check out my handmade pens Check back often because the page changes often Posts: 831 | From: Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Just MHO, I think the principal was kinda covering her own ass by sending out the notice, but it just seems to me that it was still a good idea.
I guess I'm just one of those people that would rather be safe than sorry.
-------------------- Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants? ~I'mNotDedalus Posts: 975 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I'd mark up the memo in red pen and mail it back to the principal, along with a note that you know she can do better than this.
-------------------- "When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw Posts: 19266 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by AnglRdr: I'd mark up the memo in red pen and mail it back to the principal, along with a note that you know she can do better than this.
You don't know how tempted I have been to do this with some of the things that come home with my kids. There was one some years ago that was so bad, my 7 year old was fixing the errors.
The school is probably just trying to cover their butts, like everyone else has said. I have received in the past one similar announcement, but it was more along the lines of "Here's what we heard, here's what we believe, the police have been informed."
Of course, just because the school sent the letter certainly wouldn't stop anyone from suing, not in this day & age of "Show me the money."
-------------------- "Maybe getting in the last word doesn't really mean you win." - The Clarks Posts: 486 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Sep 2005
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For not reporting a rumor they'd heard? Hmmm....seems highly unlikely to me.
-------------------- "When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw Posts: 19266 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by MG123: Sounds like the school is taking precautions, needed or not. What's the harm?
1. Unneeded precautions = wasted time and energy
Sorry, but this just got me. Are you willing to bet your child's life that this is an "unneeded precaution"? Is it not worth the 1 minute to read?
While I'm skeptical about the validity of the message, I wouldn't be offended if I recieved it.
-------------------- I tried to add my signature here, and now I've got ink all over my monitor. Posts: 151 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
I understand the school wanting to cover their butts. I also don't think it's ever a bad idea to warn parents if there is a definite threat to the children. What I thought was wrong with this was summed up rather well by ThistleS.
I didn't care for the wording, and especially the lack of concrete information. I guess I'm always conscious of the possibility of danger when it comes to my kids, so this sort of thing isn't helpful to me unless it's more specific.
I probably should have mentioned in my original post that we live in a small, affluent, mostly white area, in which a "suspicious individual" might well have done nothing more sinister than be seen having a leather jacket or brown skin. It's also unlikely around here that a kid would be alone long enough for a creep to lure them into a car (seriously, this is Busybody Land: I had a neighbor come to my door one lovely July day to let me know my daughter was outside without shoes on).
It's obviously not something I'm really upset about, but as a responsible parent it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I wish they'd send home a note asking the parents of bullies to to get their kids some professional help and stop taking their troubles out on kids like mine. I think that'd do more good in the long run. Posts: 64 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Mar 2006
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Whether the letter had a valid concern in it was for the parent to decide. I think the school just wanted to let parents know they were aware of the situation (rumored or not).
That way if God forbid something happened, no one could say you knew something was going on and didn't notify the parents?!.
I thought most notices that come from schools sound pretty much like this one. Granted I haven't been in school for a while and I don't have children, but I didn't get a condescending here's-how-to-do-your-job-as-a-parent tone from it at all.
-------------------- Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants? ~I'mNotDedalus Posts: 975 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Frozen Charlotte: I understand the school wanting to cover their butts. I also don't think it's ever a bad idea to warn parents if there is a definite threat to the children. What I thought was wrong with this was summed up rather well by ThistleS.
At what point do you want the schools to define "definite threat"?
quote:I didn't care for the wording, and especially the lack of concrete information. I guess I'm always conscious of the possibility of danger when it comes to my kids, so this sort of thing isn't helpful to me unless it's more specific.
As far as the wording goes, that's with your principal. Maybe he/she shouldn't have mentioned that it was circulated in e-mails, but I thought it was fairly specific. Black Volvo.
Again, if your main problem with was how the message was worded, I'd bring that up with the principal/get my child moved to another school...
quote:I probably should have mentioned in my original post that we live in a small, affluent, mostly white area, in which a "suspicious individual" might well have done nothing more sinister than be seen having a leather jacket or brown skin. It's also unlikely around here that a kid would be alone long enough for a creep to lure them into a car (seriously, this is Busybody Land: I had a neighbor come to my door one lovely July day to let me know my daughter was outside without shoes on).
Which leads me to believe you could easily get your child enrolled in another school if you felt it warranted. I'm confused that you agree with Thistle, who mentions that most crimes are committed by people the children know (which I'm aware of), and then state that a sinister person might be defined as being brown skinned?
quote:It's obviously not something I'm really upset about, but as a responsible parent it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I wish they'd send home a note asking the parents of bullies to to get their kids some professional help and stop taking their troubles out on kids like mine. I think that'd do more good in the long run.
No offense, but in recent times, it's been the victims of the bullies that have needed professional help, especially in white suburbia.
-------------------- I tried to add my signature here, and now I've got ink all over my monitor. Posts: 151 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Jul 2006
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Joe Bentley
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by bravnot: Sorry, but this just got me. Are you willing to bet your child's life that this is an "unneeded precaution"? Is it not worth the 1 minute to read?
And this is the exact same flimsy rationalization that people use when they forwared email chains about people with knives hiding under your car waiting to slash your ankles or warnings about not flashing your headlights lest you become the unwilling participant in a gang initiation.
You can be too careful. It's called paranoia.
This board of all places should be aware that "Better safe then sorry" is usually not a very good rule of thumb.
-------------------- "Existence has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long." - Rorschach, The Watchmen Posts: 8929 | From: Norfolk, Virginia | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by bravnot: Sorry, but this just got me. Are you willing to bet your child's life that this is an "unneeded precaution"? Is it not worth the 1 minute to read?
And this is the exact same flimsy rationalization that people use when they forwared email chains about people with knives hiding under your car waiting to slash your ankles or warnings about not flashing your headlights lest you become the unwilling participant in a gang initiation.
You can be too careful. It's called paranoia.
This board of all places should be aware that "Better safe then sorry" is usually not a very good rule of thumb.
If my principal is forwarding e-mails that relate to Nigerian kings needing assistance with proclaiming their wealth, I'm finding a new school.
Otherwise, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I'm sorry, but your example is ludicrous.
-------------------- I tried to add my signature here, and now I've got ink all over my monitor. Posts: 151 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
When I was in elementary school, we had all the commercials and the in school talks about strangers ("Say NO! GO! And tell someone you trust"). It's something I have not heard or seen, this side of Webster reruns, in a long time. I would not take it personally, though. I would feel proud that you do have this base covered with your child. Some poeple, OTOH, may not. I have a couple of friends who have kids that are pretty clueless as parents.
Don't take it as a "you don't know how to raise your kid" thing, but as a "pat yourself on the back for doing a great job thusfar" thing.
-------------------- "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie." -Apu (The Simpsons) Posts: 2026 | From: 10 miles South of Boston | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Joe Bentley: And this is the exact same flimsy rationalization that people use when they forwared email chains about people with knives hiding under your car waiting to slash your ankles or warnings about not flashing your headlights lest you become the unwilling participant in a gang initiation.
You can be too careful. It's called paranoia.
This board of all places should be aware that "Better safe then sorry" is usually not a very good rule of thumb.
That's a very good point and a good way to put things in perspective for me! That makes a lot of sense.
-------------------- Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants? ~I'mNotDedalus Posts: 975 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by MG123: Sounds like the school is taking precautions, needed or not. What's the harm?
1. Unneeded precautions = wasted time and energy
Sorry, but this just got me. Are you willing to bet your child's life that this is an "unneeded precaution"? Is it not worth the 1 minute to read?
While I'm skeptical about the validity of the message, I wouldn't be offended if I recieved it.
How does this memo actually do anything to protect children? If there was a real, imminent threat I would consider it valid to send out a more specifically worded memo that offered a course of action other than just a generic "be careful." I'm not offended at all. I'm questioning the usefulness of instilling fear without offering any real information or taking any course of action. The principal may as well have sent out a memo that said "Sometimes people commit crimes so you might want to watch out for people who might commit crimes."
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by MG123: Sounds like the school is taking precautions, needed or not. What's the harm?
1. Unneeded precautions = wasted time and energy
Sorry, but this just got me. Are you willing to bet your child's life that this is an "unneeded precaution"? Is it not worth the 1 minute to read?
While I'm skeptical about the validity of the message, I wouldn't be offended if I recieved it.
How does this memo actually do anything to protect children? If there was a real, imminent threat I would consider it valid to send out a more specifically worded memo that offered a course of action other than just a generic "be careful." I'm not offended at all. I'm questioning the usefulness of instilling fear without offering any real information or taking any course of action. The principal may as well have sent out a memo that said "Sometimes people commit crimes so you might want to watch out for people who might commit crimes."
As MissE stated, I feel ok being responsible for how relevant I feel the threat to my child is. As far as specifics, the e-mail listed a make and color. It's not as generic as you make it sound.
I would take the minute to read the note, decide how pertinent it is, and act off that. I would never complain about my child's school giving me too much information.
-------------------- I tried to add my signature here, and now I've got ink all over my monitor. Posts: 151 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
On a somewhat related note, my newspaper had a front-page above-the-fold article on a 13 year old girl being sexually assaulted on her way to school a few days ago. She screamed, yelled, and fought, and a nearby police officer scared the guy off. Foot pursuit ensued, dirtbag caught. Scary!
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by bravnot: As far as specifics, the e-mail listed a make and color. It's not as generic as you make it sound.
Yeah, because how many black Volvo's could there possibly be in any given area, especially those driven by SUSPICIOUS INDIVIDUALS!?!
-------------------- I'm an excellent speller, but a lousy typist. "Just so you know, the words 'just' and 'cramps' - they don't go together." - Ginger Snaps Posts: 323 | From: Chandler, AZ | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote:Originally posted by bravnot: As far as specifics, the e-mail listed a make and color. It's not as generic as you make it sound.
Yeah, because how many black Volvo's could there possibly be in any given area, especially those driven by SUSPICIOUS INDIVIDUALS!?!
While I appreciate you taking my quote out of context, I was more repying to:
"Sometimes people commit crimes so you might want to watch out for people who might commit crimes."
Again though, thanks for taking my quote out of context... that's awesome.
-------------------- I tried to add my signature here, and now I've got ink all over my monitor. Posts: 151 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
though that it is true that there are far fewer people driving black volvos than there are people in general, there are still far too many for it to be reasonable to take any action based on the info given in the memo.
-------------------- "I used to think I was a little unstable, then I met every girl I've ever dated." -- Mike Birbiglia Posts: 131 | From: San Luis Obispo, CA | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by AnglRdr: Sue the school for what, exactly?
For not reporting a rumor they'd heard? Hmmm....seems highly unlikely to me.
My (unfinished, as I was half asleep) thought was that if, God forbid, someone driving a black Volvo did something and the school had some knowledge, even only a rumor, that a black Volvo was acting suspiciously, many people in this day & age wouldn't hesitate to sue the school if they didn't inform the parents.
-------------------- "Maybe getting in the last word doesn't really mean you win." - The Clarks Posts: 486 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Sounds to me as if the Superintendant was personally queried about these emails or it brought to his/her attention in some way. Perhaps a hysterical parent got one and called him/her.
What is the appropriate response...
Well, check with the police to see if there is any validity.
The police tell you what they know, which is the activity mentioned, which of course has probably has nothing to do with the email anyway.
The superintendant addresses the concerns of that parent and decides that instead of handling the 5 or 6 or dozen calls that he/she might get individually on the same matter, that the most expedient thing to do is to send out a blanket memo simply stating the facts. -there was an email. -here is what the police said. - here is the sensible response, please use usual reasonable precautions.
I don't see anything unreasonable at all in this, especially from an administrative point of view, though I do agree with being dismayed at poor writing skills on the part of a school superintendant. I would probably like to decide for myself if there's a threat and not have someone else vetting these things for me.
And when you are dealing with large groups of the general population, I'm sorry, but you have to assume the lowest common denominator - yes, there will be idiots out there who will (insert whatever stupid behavior you want here). Of course a memo won't likely fix that, but it's still the responsibility of the school to do it. If the superintendant had a magical "fix the stupid parent" wand I'm sure she or he would be happy to use it, but as it is, the toolbox is limited to memos and maybe a few parenting classes offered through the PTA or something. It's got to be frustrating.
-------------------- "Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit
(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad) Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
My problem here is not with the school official offering a warning. My problem is with the vagueness of the warning and of the threat itself. Parents are not even given specific advice as to how to handle the threat, they are only told to be more alert.
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I can see your point Thistle. The way I'm looking at it, I'm assuming all the information available was given. IMO it's just a matter of heightening awareness. Self defense guys always talk about being aware of your surroundings. Too many times we fall into a comfort zone.
Let me put it this way. What if, a week or so after recieving this memo, you're waiting to pick your child up from school. As you're waiting, you notice a black volvo that's been parked also. A child walking along the sidewalk looks like someone in the volvo has gotten their attention. After even just a couple of seconds of what looks like conversation, the child enters the car. Because of the memo, you might very well be more suspicious of this event, and be aware enough to take a license plate down, possibly get a description of the driver, etc. Sure, it may be nothing, but what if later on your hear that a child was abducted from that school?
Without the memo, it's fairly safe to assume that a visibly innocent situation like this would have passed through your memory fairly quick, and also safe to assume you would have not thought to gather any information.
I've been using the universal "you" in this example, but I'm hoping it helps you (specific) to see my point a little more.
-------------------- I tried to add my signature here, and now I've got ink all over my monitor. Posts: 151 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Jul 2006
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