posted
Dear People Interviewing Me This Afternoon:
Please love me. And hire me. The whole temp thing is fast losing its charm.
Sincerely, Minstrel
-------------------- Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught. My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking. Countdown: 177 days (or less!) Posts: 4926 | From: NW Ohio | Registered: Apr 2003
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No, you aren't doing that now. Why are you acting like I'm stressed-i.e. hurting, gurgling, and um..that ? Is it going back to work after having to be off for three days? Yeah, it's going to be rough, but the people there like to see us, and it's more than because we're a body to take calls and do paper work. Is it because S isn't going to come over on Friday like usual ? Yeah, that sucks. But it's not like we haven't spent ever weekend since we started dating together. And it's not like we don't have plans for the weekened already that can't include him. And he'll probably spend Sunday night here, so that's okay. So, um could youn please stop it with the annoyances. It's not really justified, and if I miss the bus because you want to get rid of stuff, I am going to be furious with you. The person you're inside.
-------------------- I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank. Posts: 641 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Loyhargil: PS - Crying because the Cardinals lost, because you want them to win the series "for Dad," is just childish. Grow up and get used to the real world.
Dear Loyhargil, Doesn't it hurt when you beat yourself up like that? Wanting the Cardinals to win "for Dad" doesn't sound childish to me. Sounds like part of the grieving process. C'mere and let me give you a hug. Warm thoughts from a stranger, AQB (remembering that her Mom was sad the spring after her Dad died when UCLA won the NCAA men's basketball championship, because he would've loved that)
-------------------- "The Potato Festival will never be the same without Evelena." (from an obituary in the Charleston, WV, Gazette) Posts: 215 | From: living here in Allentown, PA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Loyhargil: Dear Cardinals, ARGH!!! Love, Me
Dear Loyhargil,
If it makes you feel any better, there's a bit of controversy on whether Kenny Rogers was cheating.
snickeringly yours, Mickey
-------------------- My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine." Blog Just call me Mickey 2 Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Dear Idiotic Students In My Remedial English Class,
You had four weeks to do the assignment. Four. A freakin' month.
All you had to do was write a movie review. That's all. Just like Roger Ebert. And I gave you this assignment a month ago. And I constantly reminded you, at the end of every class, that it was due today.
So why did only nine of you hand it in? Why did you give me dopey, confused expressions when I asked why the rest of you--thirteen of you didn't have the essay?
Look, I'm not asking for a dissertation on Hamlet. It's a NFBSKing movie review. Hell, my other classes thought the assignment was kind of fun. But you guys? Not so much. Clueless.
You have no idea how much I want to tell all of you to save your parents' money and drop out now.
Oh, and Lewis? If you're really going to join the Marines, they're going to totally kick your ass. Wake up.
Angrily,
Your Professor
-------------------- Please visit my blog and leave a comment! It's all pretty and pink and quite funny. Go here: http://beowulfgirl.blogspot.com/ Posts: 1790 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jan 2001
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Dear Wheaton Bally Fitness Center: Why in the name of all that's holy did you have all your lights ablaze at 11:30PM on a Saturday night?? I can understand having some lights on for security but every single one on both levels? Oh, well, it's your electric bill not mine.
Signed-- The driver in the Red Olds heading home after a night out with hubby.
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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Yes, we know you have a high speed camera. Yes, it's very nice. But it isn't necessary to use it to replay the most mundane events in the game. I'm half expecting to see a high speed replay of a batter scratching and spitting.
chillas
-------------------- Come on, come on - spin a little tighter Come on, come on - and the world's a little brighter Posts: 5595 | From: Columbus, OH : The Soccer Capital of America | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Dear Chillas, I could not agree with you more! I was thinking that last night when they used it to replay a pretty routine fly out. It gets old fast.
-LittleDuck
-------------------- "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie." -Apu (The Simpsons) Posts: 2026 | From: 10 miles South of Boston | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
Dear nerve endings in my brain, STOP HURTING painfully yours, me
Dear mind, nightime is for resting and sleeping, NOT WORKING. stop. you're going to make me sick. I'm already snapping at the smallest things because of lack of sleep. I dont need to do something I'll regret. Christmas is coming, which means the amount of hours I'll have to sleep will diminsh significantly. I need all I can get. turn yourself off.
exhaustidly, me
Posts: 255 | From: New York | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Kitsune26, You. Are. Evil. I am reading the link to the agony booth that was in your post, and I'm laughing rather inappropriately and trying not to pee myself. Every time it says "Sore-on", I lose it a bit more.
CQ
-------------------- "Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com Posts: 2037 | From: Reston, VA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Dear J, I know you're not stupid, but why oh why did you record data for 60+ people on one piece of paper? One person = one data sheet; everyone else seemed to understand this equation, but now I have to spend several extra hours deciphering the shorthand you invented. We really appreciate your help, but please please please use additional forms next times.
Miss "Those extra copies were there for a reason" Elaineous __________________
Dear Self, Ask him. Just do it. Whether the answer is yes or no, just get it over with so you can actually concentrate on academics and work. If you can deal with 900 ranting delegates, you can face one harmless guy.
Miss "Not much of a pep talk, but it helps" Elaineous
-------------------- "I heard a very sad story about a girl who went to Bryn Mawr. She squealed on her roommate, and they found her strangled with her own brassiere." - Some Like it Hot Posts: 13 | From: Bristol, UK | Registered: Sep 2006
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We aren't trained to debate. Assigning a debate due the day we get back from break and only allowing a week and a half(four days of which were spent on break) to get it together is ridiculous. No, we weren't prepared. Yes, I made an absolute idiot out of myself.
And in no way were your topics "timely." Doctor assisted suicide? WTF?
BTW, I really hope you call me out on my "word vomit" incident. I would love to know that it bothered you. Excuse me, I've never done a rebuttal and you in no way explained what it is. Giving me all of 2 seconds (I'm honestly not exaggerating) to get mine together and then throwing me up there was a cruel, horrible thing to do. Yeah, everyone else's was better, they had my ****ing rebuttal to get their's together.
-underfire who is way too old to cry because she's embarrased.
Edited because not only can I not debate, I also cannot spell "exaggerating" or use the preview post button.
-------------------- I'm not a beautiful and unique snowflake! I am the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. Posts: 111 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Okay Otis, this is not amusing. You have a litter tray. You have been using it quite happily for the last two weeks. Stop peeing on the damn futon! And the carpet isn't for you to eat either.
Yours grumpily, C.
ETA And leave my shoes alone too. Teeth marks in the leather is not a good look.
posted
Dear Self, Yes you feel like crap. This is a vast improvement from yesterday. However, feeling like crap will not make your professor excuse you from the midterm. Stop trying to think of ways to hide, and just take the damn thing when it's time. Do the best you can. It'll be fine; your memory is good for random pieces of trivia. You were made for mulitple choice/true/false questions! Lovingly, yourself
Dear Fiance, Thank you so so much for coming and spending most of the day with me yesterday while I was sick. I wish I'd been feeling better so we could have had some fun, but just having you around was so nice! I love you so much. *Mer* Love, Me
Dear bridesmaids, Please find a damn dress you both like! We've been working on this for almost four months now. I know have ten months left to go, but still! It'd be nice to have one more thing checked off the to-do list. And when you reply to emails containing links to dresses, hit reply-all, not just reply. It's getting tiresome having to relay your opinions to everyone else. Not so lovingly, ladyknight
-------------------- Triumphs cannot be given. They must be taken, and the worse the odds, and the fiercer the resistance, the greater the honor. -- A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold Posts: 638 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by underfire and overrated: And in no way were your topics "timely." Doctor assisted suicide? WTF?
What do you mean by timely? I'm curious why you think doctor assisted suicide isn't a timely topic. Maybe it's because of where I live, but it seems that it's at least relevant to debate it - especially since the folks in DC seem to want to overturn it every couple of years.
posted
Dear Office and the Others who Inhabit It; I kind of hate you all right now. I know everyone is sick and overworked and confused but PLEASE stop doing bizarre little things that make my job harder and please stop being so dumb. I will probably like you all a lot more when I get back from vacation week after next. Irritably your slave; Thistle S
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by underfire and overrated: And in no way were your topics "timely." Doctor assisted suicide? WTF?
What do you mean by timely? I'm curious why you think doctor assisted suicide isn't a timely topic. Maybe it's because of where I live, but it seems that it's at least relevant to debate it - especially since the folks in DC seem to want to overturn it every couple of years.
It might be a regional thing. I haven't heard a word about it in years. All the sources I found for it were from the late 80's and early 90's.
Or I could just be looking for things to be angry about (I don't mean that as snarky, that was a shot at myself.)
-underfire
-------------------- I'm not a beautiful and unique snowflake! I am the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. Posts: 111 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by underfire and overrated: And in no way were your topics "timely." Doctor assisted suicide? WTF?
What do you mean by timely? I'm curious why you think doctor assisted suicide isn't a timely topic. Maybe it's because of where I live, but it seems that it's at least relevant to debate it - especially since the folks in DC seem to want to overturn it every couple of years.
This reminds me of when I took Contemporary Issues in high school. (It was by far my favorite social studies class.) Some people mistakenly referred to the class as Current Events. While we did generally cover things that were in the news, the teacher explained the distinction: Current Events is stuff that's going on right now; Contemporary Issues is topics that are generally being discussed in our time, even if they're not in this week's newspaper. Assisted suicide certainly fits the latter description.
-------------------- "Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy Posts: 3572 | From: St. Louis, MO | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
underfire, I didn't read that as snarky at all (I was kind of afraid my comment came off that way too). The regional thing is kind of why I asked. Here it's not in the news every night or anything, but it's still very current as a news subject. I guess that for most of the country it would be more of a Contemporary Issue than a Current Event (I like that distinction, Jay) and especially if you can't find any current sources to research, that would be very frustrating.
Breaking up with "your babydaddy" is not a good reason to drop out of college and join the Navy. While I would never discourage anyone from joining the service, I really don't want you to get two weeks into basic training and realize you've made a horrible mistake. ______________________________
Dear Charles,
Take an earlier bus, dude. It's been seven weeks and you haven't been on time for class once. And considering that you're six foot five, you can't "sneak" into class late. ______________________________
Dear Toby,
The capital of England is London, not "Sweden," and certainly not "Wales." And "that country on top of England" is Scotland, not "Essex." ______________________________
Dear Casey,
Why did you write "My bicycle lead me to Christ" on the back of the essay you handed in today? Should I know where that's from? Is it some kind of message?
--Your Professor
P.S. underfire,, is it Lincoln-Douglas debate or Cross Examination? Because they're both hard!
--BeowulfGirl
-------------------- Please visit my blog and leave a comment! It's all pretty and pink and quite funny. Go here: http://beowulfgirl.blogspot.com/ Posts: 1790 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jan 2001
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You submitted your draft and it wasn't good. During your personal conference, you looked at me and said "Revising this is going to take a lot of work." What did you want me to do, tell you that you, out of all the people in the class, was excused from the same assignment? You had 2 months to do this assignment!
**** Dear Student 2, As I have stated time and again, if you're going to be absent, you have to let the main office know. I do. But, if you tell them first, they might excuse your absense. Did you really think I was going to believe that "someone" told you that you could miss 5 classes with no penalties? The class only meets 12 times all semester. Does that seem reasonable at all to you?
And, during our conference, what did you think arguing with me was going to accomplish. You misread that case. I told you that three times before telling you that not only I think you misread the case, but every other person teaching this class thinks you misread it. Give it up already.
**** Dear entire class,
On the first day of class, when I wrote the outline for your brief on the board, why didn't anyone follow it? Did you really think it was in your best interest to come up with your own topics after I told you exactly what to research?
Sincerely, An underpaid adjunct
***** Dear Husband,
You suck. I really don't know what your problem is, but your behavior is inexcusable and out of control. What really sucks is that I gave up my full-time job to go back to school full-time based on your promises. Since I don't know where you are or how long you're going to be gone, WTF am I supposed to do financially? Did I mention that you suck?
--Me
-------------------- "My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League. Posts: 1815 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jul 2004
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I'm holding all of your toys hostage until you learn how to speak English.
Signed, Mmmmmmmmmmaster
P.S. The same goes for you, nerdymcniece!
-------------------- The salty fragrance of L’EauD’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles. Posts: 1983 | From: Chicagoland, IL | Registered: Feb 2005
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I get it. You don't like us anymore. You are trying to be popular, & I'm not good enough for you. I get it.
But honestly. Do you have to lie about me to my boyfriend? He knows what's going on. He was there for me when I figured out we weren't friends anymore. But telling him that I turned all of your friends against you? Sweetie. Really. You ignored them for the popular friends that you used to worry about whether or not they really liked you. Also, I'm not mad at you. I don't know where you got that. JM thinks you're copping excuses so it looks like you didn't ditch your friends.
Sweetie. The reason you & JM aren't friends is because he didn't like that you disrespected him (& me, I suppose) by flirting with him, & then when confronted saying he was flirting back. He liked you as a good friend, too, so don't complain that you two aren't friends. It's your fault.
Confused & a little sad but more frustatingly yours,
E.
-------------------- "Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land." Posts: 14 | From: Middletown, PA (TMI go BOOM!) | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Dear AQB, But I'm so good at beating myself up! Pshaw! I'm glad to hear that's somewhat normal, though. I mean, I know I'm probably not feeling anything anyone in this situation has never felt before, but to be reassured... I appreciate that. With many thanks and relief, Loyhargil
Dear Mickey, Pine tar! *faints!* Ah, the bane of baseball's existence! Ebil, Ebil Kenny Rogers! Thanks for the lift, Loyhargil
-------------------- Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee. Posts: 1170 | From: Iowa | Registered: Aug 2004
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Thanks for the definition! I hadn't considered that. I just jumped at how she was patting herself on the back for thinking of such WONDERFUL topics. Then again, I dislike her strongly.
NeeCD-
Frustrating doesn't even begin to cover it Not to mention the topic has been around so long that all the sources basically boil down to the same things.
Oy.
-underfire
-------------------- I'm not a beautiful and unique snowflake! I am the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. Posts: 111 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Inspired byt BeowulfGirl and Lydia Oh Lydia:
Dear Students,
I understand that y;all are freshman and still making mistakes, even on final papers. But when you make the same mistakes that I pointed out to you in conference and corrected for you on your rough drafts, I just don't what to say. I wish I could take off extra points because you clearly aren't paying attention.
--Your Instructor
Dear Students who know how to write a Works Cited,
Thank you!
--Your Instructor
-------------------- I study medieval literature because that's where the money is. Posts: 1431 | From: Corvallis, OR | Registered: Jun 2004
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Whoever took the lint out of the lint trap when using the dryer, thank you!! No, seriously. It reminds me of one of the reasons why I moved out of the dorms; because the immature twits that never did their laundry before they started college also never took their own lint out!
But it still sucks that we only have one washer and dryer for the 8 apartments. It's one reason why I'll be looking into an apartment with washer/dryer in unit, if I get a new apartment for next year.
-The tenant in H
Dear Doug, You know I'm a good tenant. When there are discussions regarding housing for next year, could you pretty please reconsider the only having 1-year leases if I'm willing to get an unfurnished, one-bedroom apartment for 6 months?
- The responsible one with understanding parents in building 4XX H
-------------------- My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine." Blog Just call me Mickey 2 Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by BeowulfGirl: P.S. underfire,, is it Lincoln-Douglas debate or Cross Examination? Because they're both hard!
--BeowulfGirl
It's a Lincoln-Douglas debate. And it sucks.
-------------------- I'm not a beautiful and unique snowflake! I am the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world. Posts: 111 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Aug 2005
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I hate you. You suck. Please separate yourself according to color and fabric, and wash yourself, I don't want to be bothered tonight.
No Love,
The Laundry Lady -------------------- Dear Cobwebs,
You're going down! I have my dustmop ready, you bastiges!
Sincerely, Sniffly Allergic Lady --------------------- Dear Dust,
You're next. I have Pledge, and I'm not afraid to use it!
Sincerely, Sneezy The Cleaning Lady --------------------- Dear Floors,
Tomorrow, you WILL be clean. I have the time. Your days are NUMBERED.
Sincerely, Tired of Sticking To You ----------------------
Dear Snopesters,
Yep, I'm cleaning. I hate to clean. Decided I'd give myself a pep talk through a LIWICS.
Tomorrow evening, I will have a clean house, clean dishes, clean laundry, and a freshly made bed, with nice, clean sheets and blankets.
Tonight, I will psych myself up to clean.
Thanks for reading my rant!
Ms. 'hate cleaning, with the passion of a thousand burning suns, would rather light a match' K
-------------------- Beware corporate zombies! They will purchase your brain on E-Bay! Posts: 2310 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Dear face-- Please quit breaking out so badly. I can deal with pretty effectively with some blackheads and some small pimples, but really large ones that hurt tremendously, won't be covered up, and show no sign of coming to a head and popping soon suck. I'm 28! These huge flare-ups should have stopped several years ago.
-------------------- A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!" Posts: 506 | From: Missouri | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by I'mNotDedalus: Dear lil’ dog:
I'm holding all of your toys hostage until you learn how to speak English.
Signed, Mmmmmmmmmmaster
P.S. The same goes for you, nerdymcniece!
I'mnotDedalus, you don't need the dog to learn English, you need to learn dog! Dogs say mostly these 3 things - "feed me, pet me, walk me." Often they say this all at the same time.
I'm assuming this means you kept that little cutie that attached to you?
-------------------- So many books, so little time. Posts: 1192 | From: McDonough, Georgia | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous: Dear face-- Please quit breaking out so badly. I can deal with pretty effectively with some blackheads and some small pimples, but really large ones that hurt tremendously, won't be covered up, and show no sign of coming to a head and popping soon suck. I'm 28! These huge flare-ups should have stopped several years ago.
Sincerely, The body you're attached to
You probably don't want to hear this, but at 38 I still have the skin of a teenager - complete with breakouts!
-------------------- So many books, so little time. Posts: 1192 | From: McDonough, Georgia | Registered: Nov 2005
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Topic Closed
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(I don't mean that as snarky, that was a shot at myself.)![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Not to mention the topic has been around so long that all the sources basically boil down to the same things. 
