posted
And it's driving me crazy. Ironically I am the one that is nearly always right, and she knows it. I am more into science and history so when we look up facts guess who gets the question right?
Anyways, so we fought over me playing violent video games, over music, clothes (she wants me to dress sexier so I can 'get a man' but when I do it on my own she freaks out), the usual stuff. Anyways, I brought up Wicca during a discussion on religion explaining that I wanted to do my paper on it because it was an interesting religion and the next thing I know she's spun around (we were in the car) and told me that all cults are evil, Wiccans are those weirdos who wear black clothes, and that if I ever THOUGHT of joining she'd stop helping me pay for school. She also ranted about how all cults manipulated innocent college students, and said I obviously must have gotten the idea from my Satan worshipping friends. I was FLOORED.
Okay, first of all where does she get off the idea that people who like dressing like goth/emo must be satan worshippers? She's a librarian, and she says she's tolerant and knows a lot about religion but she's never actually read much on it other then the bible.
Secondly I've told her about 5 millions times that when I say cult I use the REAL definition (ie the sociological or dictionary definition of cult). To put it bluntly, cult is never put down in a good definition as being a mind control wackos. Jehovahs Witnesses may be annoying as all heck, but isofar as I know they are not a cult of Satan worshippers. Yes, I know she grew up in a time when mind control cults were common, but jeez... at least 10 second to explain would have clarified the issue.
Thirdly, one can actually mesh Christian beliefs with Wiccan beliefs, even if they are Pagan. And anyways I am an aetheist and couldn't be one anyways (mjuch less worship Satan as I don't believe he exists) Of course my mother denies that I am an aetheist so...
Fourth... AUGH! I trust religioustolerance.org and Discover and Smithsonian magazine much more then I trust your proven to be skewed viewpoints.
I'm about to cry, from sheer rage. Whats more when I showed her the site. She ignored everything and questioned -everything- which is fine except when I pointed out holes in her argument she brings up the ol' 'You're a gullible college student' argument. Moreover she didn't actually read ANY of it because her questions were all answered by the sources I showed her.
And she wonders why I never talk about the papers I am doing. On the other hand, if I can win out against her I can get an A on my debate for sure. Mind you when I tried to discussion abortion she basically brushed it off because the second it is fertilized it - you know - makes tons of cells. What makes it worse is she was a nurse, (albeit about 20 years ago) AND she claims to be open minded. Of course, when I used to wear T-Shirts and jeans she implied that it would be very dangerous for me to be a lesbian (I am straight). I should be used to this but it makes me feel ILL.
posted
I'm hearing paranoia abound. These quotes in particular just blew my mind:
quote:she wants me to dress sexier so I can 'get a man'
quote:Of course, when I used to wear T-Shirts and jeans she implied that it would be very dangerous for me to be a lesbian
The last one especially...because I'd imagine that, if anything, it would be safer to be a lesbian than straight. Less risk of pregnancy, and all. And of course it begs the question of how wearing a T-shirt and jeans makes you a lesbian.
[overanalysis]
Now I'm in no position to know anything about your mother, but she sounds like a "good 'ol girl" who grew up in a conservative family, read her bible, and went to church. If I'm wrong then I'm not surprised, as I said I don't know her. But if I'm right then it'll be tricky to really convince her that you are right on any of these counts, simply because she's been brought up to believe certain things are right and others are wrong.
I mean, I believe that it is okay to be gay. It would probably be equally difficult to convince me that it is WRONG to be gay as it would be to convince an anti-gay person that it is RIGHT, simply because we both hold deep convictions about the subject.
[/overanalysis]
Anyway, you can argue with her. As you said, it will certainly help you develop the skills necessary to write "A" papers at school.
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote: And of course it begs the question of how wearing a T-shirt and jeans makes you a lesbian.
Because good girls wear dresses or skirts which I HATE.
I don't wanna sound like she's always paranoid, she can't help being raised that way. She grew up in a poor and deeply religious neighborhood. It's just she tries most of the time, and she seems to get more paranoid when she's more tired and can't make the effort. I dunno... but it's hard to get mad when inside she only wants what she thinks it best for me.
Edit: What also got had me yanking hairs was when she mentioned that "Well I know one who says she's a Wiccan and she's selfish so how can their philosophy be good" and "Me and a friend went into one of those places where those people dress in Black and did research and I think it's a bad cult" <- Summarizing what she said
quote:Originally posted by MapleLeaf: [QB] [QUOTE]question of how wearing a T-shirt and jeans makes you a lesbian.
[\qb]
Ok, I am worried now because I am wearing Jeans and a T-shirt. I didn't even know that men could be lesbians.
Also, I have some Wiccan friends and I am not too far from their point of view if it come to that. I am certainly an animist. Anyhow, when did black become the normal dress of Wiccans and when did Wiccans become Satanist? Sounds like your mother is not as broad minded as she would wish to think that she was.
Blues
Posts: 207 | From: Woolhampton, Berks, UK | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Its kind of hard to be a Satan worshipper when, for the most part, Wiccans don't believe in Satan or "hell".
*looks down at t-shirt, jeans, boots*
Whatever will my husband think?!
Moreover, what will my lesbian friends think?
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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quote: Its kind of hard to be a Satan worshipper when, for the most part, Wiccans don't believe in Satan or "hell".
Just the words 'Satan' and 'Hell' make her freak out. Ironically she's never been offended that I was an aetheist... wait a sec, she doesn't believe I am one. Nevermind. And I have to prove everything but creationism is right because it hasn't been disproven. Wait a sec, what about evolution? She told me that it hasn't been proven, and can never be, so it is wrong. That almost made my head explode.
Of course it took her until she was 50 to admit she didn't actually believe that attending church was necessary (if she had come to this conclusion earlier I would not have spent a good part of my life being forced into church under threats). Maybe there is hope!
quote:Ok, I am worried now because I am wearing Jeans and a T-shirt. I didn't even know that men could be lesbians.
I dunno, BluesScale. Lesbians are attracted to women, right? So am I.
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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I could be persuaded to worship Santa if that is any help. He is certainly a personification of some of the Yule spirit.
Posts: 207 | From: Woolhampton, Berks, UK | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
What about satin? It makes for some nice looking ties and gowns. I'd worship that if it meant I could get some free ties, cause then I'd always have a fathers day gift for my dad.
posted
My mother's convinced I'm a closeted lesbian, yet she's shocked that I'm an atheist. Oh, and apparently I have an "aura" that my father can't see but she can. According to her phone call last night, she can see my aura glowing when I am around people, such as at the job interview I attended last week.
Yeah.
(Also, according to her phone call last night, I had an idyllic, happy childhood and was never depressed and angry, even during my teen years. And that she always believed in me and supported my dreams. It's bad enough that she's a depressed alcoholic, but now she's slipped into complete denial of my entire manic depression. She now is telling me that the year I spent at home, too depressed and suicidal to even venture out of the house, was actually a period during which she supported me as I searched to "find" myself and not follow the status quo immediately to college.
Funny, all I recall during that period is her screaming at me every single day for being a worthless piece of shit, telling me that I had no hope for a future, and trying to commit me to a camp for suicidal and "troubled" teens. I'm wondering if she's mentally ill.)
Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled thread.
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
You say your mother was a nurse and is a librarian. It's so bizarre that someone with that level of education is unable to back up her opinions with some solid research.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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quote: [Confused] You say your mother was a nurse and is a librarian. It's so bizarre that someone with that level of education is unable to back up her opinions with some solid research.
And she bangs on me for using bad research. I mean, she's quite good at catching BS. But for whatever reason she had never done any research on it, and what research she did was 1) her own opinion and 2) not backed up by sources.
The fact that she should know better (and typically backs things up better) is what ticked me off. That and the sheer paranoia. I mean, despite growing up extremely poor in a horrendous neighborhood she managed to get an education and get nursing training. That in itself is amazing.
posted
i'm sorry but your mom really needs to do some research on wiccans, they're not satan worshippers.
and no those of us who wear all black are not goths, some of us are rockers,and metal heads.
people ask me why i don't care for christian ideas.
i have the same situation with my mom, i know not to bring up science vs. religion at any time. although science does explain things that religion doesn't. i'm squarely in the center of both, coz i can seperate them out from each other.
my brother likes to lecture me about religion when ironicly he's a hypocrite.
as for being an atheist, i give you kudos, and at least you're being truthful on what you believe.
Posts: 39 | From: California | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Frog_Feathers: Moreover, what will my lesbian friends think?
That you are "teh HAWT!"
-------------------- Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe Posts: 2211 | From: Harford County, MD | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote: [Confused] You say your mother was a nurse and is a librarian. It's so bizarre that someone with that level of education is unable to back up her opinions with some solid research.
And she bangs on me for using bad research. I mean, she's quite good at catching BS. But for whatever reason she had never done any research on it, and what research she did was 1) her own opinion and 2) not backed up by sources.
The fact that she should know better (and typically backs things up better) is what ticked me off. That and the sheer paranoia. I mean, despite growing up extremely poor in a horrendous neighborhood she managed to get an education and get nursing training. That in itself is amazing.
And to go from being a nurse to taking an undergraduate degree and going on for her Master's, which she must have done with children at home, is something pretty amazing. Perhaps rather than butt heads over issues you can't agree on you can take a step back and try to find some common ground? She sounds like a pretty admirable role model.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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quote:Originally posted by Ink Rose: [QB]But for whatever reason she had never done any research on it, and what research she did was 1) her own opinion and 2) not backed up by sources.
QB]
Believe me she will get WORSE. DM found/discovered/converted/ returned to the CoE in her late 50's. Suddenly everything was black and white.
Every time I have an option on any subject, she disagrees.
Even politics in Canada, for some reason she beleives Pierre Trudeau will lead the way for the Canadaian forces to join Bush/Blair in ridding the world of the ebil .
I have found that over the years it ia easier to say ' that's an intereasting point. i will think about it".
Of course her being in the UK it makes it so much easier
-------------------- Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005
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Even politics in Canada, for some reason she beleives Pierre Trudeau will lead the way for the Canadaian forces to join Bush/Blair in ridding the world of the ebil .
Perhaps you should break this to her gently, but Pierre Trudeau died several years ago.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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quote: And of course it begs the question of how wearing a T-shirt and jeans makes you a lesbian.
Because good girls wear dresses or skirts which I HATE.
Well I'm alright then cos I wear t-shirts and shorts
-------------------- Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005
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Even politics in Canada, for some reason she beleives Pierre Trudeau will lead the way for the Canadaian forces to join Bush/Blair in ridding the world of the ebil .
Perhaps you should break this to her gently, but Pierre Trudeau died several years ago.
I remember his funeral, about 4 months after we arrived. I guess he was dead then...
-------------------- Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Ink Rose, you are 19, which is why you are arguing with your mother about your beliefs and interests rather than accepting that she sees things one way and you see them another. Quit arguing with her. Quit trying to get her to see that she's wrong. Instead, learn the fine of being Chinese - nod, smile, then continue to do what you know to be right for you.
There is no need to prove your mother wrong, and indeed little to be gained from doing so. There is also no need to prove yourself right, with once again there being little gain to be had from succeeding at this task. Concentrate on living your life instead of trying to justify it - you'll enjoy a far better return on your emotional investment than you're now getting.
quote:Originally posted by queen of the caramels about dealing with such differences with her mom: I have found that over the years it ia easier to say ' that's an intereasting point. i will think about it".
Behold, the fine art of being Chinese in action.
Barbara "chinese takeout" Mikkelson
Posts: 2511 | From: Los Angeles, CA | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
Ummm... what's wrong with black? I have several black items of clothing. Sometimes I wear them all at once. Someone at work told me I look like Johnny Cash. I started singing the 'Ring of Fire" and finished with "Hello, I'm Johnny Cash." That shut them up. Posts: 266 | From: Windsor, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote: Ink Rose, you are 19, which is why you are arguing with your mother about your beliefs and interests rather than accepting that she sees things one way and you see them another. Quit arguing with her. Quit trying to get her to see that she's wrong. Instead, learn the fine of being Chinese - nod, smile, then continue to do what you know to be right for you.
I've been doing that for so long. In fact me keeping quiet has led to a lot of issues in the past - medical problems that went too long undiagnosed because I kept my mouth shut rather then bother people. I've only recently started sticking up for myself. Threatening to cut of my tuition help whenever I disagree (she's done it before) is a little below the belt. I guess right now I just feel frustrated that she is still trying to tell me what to do, and has enough leverage to make it at happen at the moment considering my current financial situation.
quote:Originally posted by Ink Rose: I've been doing that for so long. In fact me keeping quiet has led to a lot of issues in the past - medical problems that went too long undiagnosed because I kept my mouth shut rather then bother people.
I think you're viewing the problem (and thus its potential solutions) in a black-or-white way and so are missing better answers. At the moment, all you're seeing is:
Stay shut up, and continue to boil inside, thereby making oneself ill, or
Argue back, thereby escalating things into a fight in which one is inevitably threatened with the loss of financial support, with said fight not serving to change anyone's mind about anything.
What if you were able to shortcircuit this either/or process by instead realizing early in the exchange that you view things one way, your mother views them another, and never the twain shall meet? Instead of remaining hellbent upon her coming to see that your position is right, what if you could let go of there being a "right" and a "wrong" here, embracing in its place a "different"? If you could do that, the next time she started going on about goths being some sort of Satanic cult (or whatever it was she was on about), you'd find yourself answering her with a smile and a non-commital reply, then changing the subject to something the two of you could talk about comfortably. Now, granted, this method never has her saying to you "I now see what you're saying; gosh, I was wrong about that," but then again, neither does yours. The maternal validation you seek, Ink Rose, is not going to come no matter how loudly, or politely, or persistently you demand it.
quote: Threatening to cut of my tuition help whenever I disagree (she's done it before) is a little below the belt. I guess right now I just feel frustrated that she is still trying to tell me what to do, and has enough leverage to make it at happen at the moment considering my current financial situation.
The solution to that is to become self-supporting. I realize that's harsh, but really and truly, if you are in the position of needing someone else's money to fund your life, you are also in the position of needing to keep that person happy lest he or she pull the financial plug on you. The only sure cure for that imbalance of power is to make yourself financially independent and thus render the threat moot.
Barbara "until then, as unfair as you perceive it to be, your mother still does have that power over you" Mikkelson
Posts: 2511 | From: Los Angeles, CA | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
Barbara's advice doesn't need any additions but I feel compelled to add some "beware" advice.
This kind of clash is normal at 19. Most people become independent (in nearly every way) from their parents during their twenties and they come to understand that all that bickering didn't really change anything.
But, beware: If you don't come to realize that what she thinks doesn't really matter and that you can disagree without saying so or at least without having a confrontation, you could find yourself like my wife: in her 30's and still arguing about the most inconsequential things with her 60+ mother. I keep trying to convince her that if her mother does any changing now, it's not going to be because they've argued until they're both blue in the face. Do yourself a favor and find a way to deal with having a mother who won't admit she's wrong (which must be one of the most common complaints in all history) sooner rather than later.
The other warning is this, and this one may be harder for you to accept. There comes a time in life when you stop blaming your parents for your own problems. As long as you have someone to blame who is less and less at fault as time goes by, you make quite certain that your problems will not go away. So, again, once you're an adult, the sooner the better.
Finally, people do change. Just don't hold your breath on it. I've found it works better when you expect no change. Then you might be pleasantly surprised when they do, instead of the certain disappointment of trying to make them change. That saves you a lot of unnecessary stress, too.
Posts: 4922 | From: Kyoto, Japan | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by BluesScale: Ok, I am worried now because I am wearing Jeans and a T-shirt. I didn't even know that men could be lesbians.
No no, male lesbians are transvestites.
-Tabby the "no points, too easy" princess with claws
-------------------- If you don't appreciate the irony, the irony appreciates.
"Sappiness and medieval violence: it's a wonderful combination. Like chocolate and peanut butter for the mind." -me on my fantasy novel-in-progress Posts: 2281 | From: Arizona | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Barbara: Ink Rose, you are 19, which is why you are arguing with your mother about your beliefs and interests rather than accepting that she sees things one way and you see them another. Quit arguing with her. Quit trying to get her to see that she's wrong. Instead, learn the fine of being Chinese - nod, smile, then continue to do what you know to be right for you.
When I was a teen I used to argue with my mother over the same things. I finally came to understand that I was never going to convince her I was right no matter what factual information I had. As in the case with the OP. My mom does not let facts get in the way of what she thinks. and don't show her the proof, She'll literally throw a fit and start going on about ho9w no one has any respect for her. She's convinced that disagreeing with her means you don't have respect for her. So we just don't descuss religon or politics around her.
I've found the best thing to do is nod my head and change the subject as soon as possible.
Ever notice how we always fall in love? We never climb gently in to love, or step lightly in to love. If love is such a good thing than why is it described as a fall. Posts: 918 | From: La Salle Illinois USA | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Barbara: Ink Rose, you are 19, which is why you are arguing with your mother about your beliefs and interests rather than accepting that she sees things one way and you see them another. Quit arguing with her. Quit trying to get her to see that she's wrong. Instead, learn the fine of being Chinese - nod, smile, then continue to do what you know to be right for you.
quote:Originally posted by queen of the caramels about dealing with such differences with her mom: I have found that over the years it ia easier to say ' that's an intereasting point. i will think about it".
Behold, the fine art of being Chinese in action.
Barbara "chinese takeout" Mikkelson
I've been practicing this technique with my father for so long, he's forgotten what a couple of pinko commie liberals he raised. One day, I simply refused to discuss it with him ever again. I do not talk about politics. I do not respond to his Democrat/liberal/Clinton jokes. I simply wait 15-30 seconds and change the subject.
You say it's making you ill to not respond. I don't think you've really learned to let it go. It takes practice, but I'll stack my blood pressure up against anyone's.
Barbara is offering wise advice. It may not be what you want to hear, but it's what several of us are telling you from experience is what works. You can ignore it if you choose, but the answer is going to come back the same in a lot of these rant posts: you can't change other people
Posts: 4811 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Gayle: ...but the answer is going to come back the same in a lot of these rant posts: you can't change other people
Gayle, at times it's even worse than not being able to change them; sometimes we can't even educate them. It's like being caught in a bad lightbulb joke: The lightbulb has to want to change.
As someone who has lived through this (haven't we all?), I know it is murder having to accept that there will always be among our nearest and dearest those who cannot be convinced of a blessed thing no matter how many on-topic reference books we present them with or how cogently or patiently we explain what they are so determined to reject. That old truism about leading a horse to water but being unable to make it drink hasn't stayed so long in the canon of accepted folk wisdom because someone had it in for horses, but because sooner or later we all meet our horse. The wiser among us eventually learn to leave the blasted horse to find its own water, but until we do, we exasperatedly drag a lot of ponies to the stream, gaining nothing but callouses on our hands for our efforts.
Barbara "and the horse never says 'thank you' either" Mikkelson
Posts: 2511 | From: Los Angeles, CA | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
I don't think you specified, but it sounds like you must be living together if this is bothering you so much. If you weren't living together you wouldn't have to interact so much and having standing disagreements wouldn't kill you inside since it would be such a minor area of your life. You're an adult now. You are not going to change her. The only solution is not to live together. Your relationship with your mom will be in much smaller doses which will make it much less strained and better for both of you. The on-campus experience is an important part of your social development. If you're having financial difficulties then you will qualify for low interest federal loans to make up the difference, which you will be able to pay off when you're a well adjusted independent adult. If you think of yourself as tethered or in a cage because of financial limitations it will also severely limit your job search to the local area and will be a self-perpetuating cycle.
Posts: 2018 | From: Santa Barbara, California | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ink Rose: What about satin? It makes for some nice looking ties and gowns. I'd worship that if it meant I could get some free ties, cause then I'd always have a fathers day gift for my dad.
(hijack) Someone once grafittied the wall of my local Catholic Church. They were obviously going for offence; pity they hadn't picked up a dictionary on the way.
In big bright grren letters on the side of the church, they wrote 'Satin'.
It was there for years! I reckon people thought it was amusing enough that they weren't in any great rush to remove it
-------------------- "The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie Posts: 548 | From: England | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Spikey - that sounds quite plausible, so plausible in fact that it is scary. X_X
quote: I don't think you specified, but it sounds like you must be living together if this is bothering you so much. If you weren't living together you wouldn't have to interact so much and having standing disagreements wouldn't kill you inside since it would be such a minor area of your life.
Part of it is I am at least 10 years younger then her other children. She does this kind of thing so often that they all took off and moved as far away from her as possible. I know moving away would help, and now that I am away from her things are better. Partially I am annoyed -now- because every time I come home she brings up the subject and we get into another fight, partially because she drops in a lot knowing that even if I am desperately busy I won't turn her away once she is here. If I suggest not she starts crying and acting like all my siblings and I hate her, or she gets angry. she had been staying for several weeks which was why things were getting crowded, and kind of tense. She's gone now though, which helps.
quote: If you're having financial difficulties then you will qualify for low interest federal loans to make up the difference, which you will be able to pay off when you're a well adjusted independent adult. If you think of yourself as tethered or in a cage because of financial limitations it will also severely limit your job search to the local area and will be a self-perpetuating cycle.
Part of the reason I just grinned and bored it for so long was because I felt sort of responsible for her. She's sick and living alone now that she's seperate from my father, and she was never under the impression that I could handle living alone even though the only thing I can't handle is um... well my apartment is -still- much less like a pig sty then that of everyone else I know. Anyways, she sort of convinced me to stay with her for a while.
Finally things are getting better. Financially it's almost impossible for me to work and stay a full time student. If I went part time I could work but it would take me a lot longer to graduate. My mom convinced me to take the full time and work small jobs and graduate as fast as possible, but I am thinking maybe I will switch or try and find a job closer to the school where I can work more hours.
Lack of coffee and a general feeling of BLEH has probably made this not make sense. The point is things are getting better, and my mom has finally got the point. Something has 'clicked' and she seems to get the point that Wiccan does not equal Satanist, and has gotten the point that I am an -aetheist-. X_X
Anyways, even if she doesn't I can go back to smiling and nodding because (I have school all year round, she had summer break for 2 months) she is back at home and will be for a while. Hopefully future interactings will go back to being a week or two not a month, and will not involve arguments with me or my siblings, or father. (It seems every time she sees them SOMEONE gets into a fight and ends up crying)
I don't know what to do, I rarely argue but lsitening to the shouting every time I go home is painful. She does similar things to my siblings, which she sees a lot of because despite the distance she pretty much invites herself to their home. She says they're acting rude but they try and treat her like a mother not a guest because usually thye are busy at that point.
I know she's sick. I here her cocktail of meds make her retch when I am at home and it sounds painful. Me and my siblings feel -terible- because we love her and we know she is not feeling well (it's when she is angry that she gets mad at every little thing) but it seems like she's been angry/depressed so often lately. I know it's not her fault she has problems but me, my sister, and my brother are feeling worried every time we see her which makes us less tolerant of her behavior.
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Ironically she's never been offended that I was an aetheist... wait a sec, she doesn't believe I am one. Nevermind. And I have to prove everything but creationism is right because it hasn't been disproven. Wait a sec, what about evolution? She told me that it hasn't been proven, and can never be, so it is wrong. That almost made my head explode.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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It's bad enough that she's a depressed alcoholic, but now she's slipped into complete denial of my entire manic depression. She now is telling me that the year I spent at home, too depressed and suicidal to even venture out of the house, was actually a period during which she supported me as I searched to "find" myself and not follow the status quo immediately to college.![[Confused]](confused.gif)
You say your mother was a nurse and is a librarian. It's so bizarre that someone with that level of education is unable to back up her opinions with some solid research.![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
