posted
Dear snopesters, Please OH please let me start this thread!
Love, Your almighty (err i mean going out on a limb) Squishy
Dear mom, Just because my brother only brother and your son stole from my husband and I while he was here and again took the stuff out of my bag while I was at your house doesn't mean I blame you entirely. Call me.
Your loving & used to talking to you once a day daughter
Dear self, This is the month you need to start the change if you want this marriage to work Love, I'll finish writing this tomorrow (darn procrastination) Me. (just kidding about the above...I'm done)
ETA: to clarify stealing situation also, it's 1:14am my time ...Happy August
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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D@mn it, man! Is it bad form to punch a cancer patient? You agree to get a second opinion here in Iowa, we find you the perfect doctor, 20 years of practice, published papers on your exact form of lung cancer, prior fellowships... And then you wimp out and decide to get your second opinion from Dr. Useless's associate, just so you don't have to leave the farm?
For crap's sake, Dad, if you won't think of your own physical health, at least think of Mom's mental health. You are her life. And you're jerking her around. UGH!
Love,
Me
-------------------- Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee. Posts: 1170 | From: Iowa | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Dear Maggie, the dog just for clarification,
You are a wonderful pet and I don't mind if you climb on the bed to snuggle with mommy but do you have to constantly lick my pillow? Nothing like getting in to bed and feeling a nice big puddle of doggy drewl on your cheak and head as you lat on your pillow. Yuck. And while we're on the subject of licking things, why is it nessisary to lick my feet when I take off my shoes. I don't go around licking your feet so please don't lick mine. I am perfectly capable of taking a shower and washing my own feet. Also, stop nudgeing your nose at your food dish trying to make company think you re starving, No one is buying it. You are a very well fed dog and eveyone can see this. No one believes you are being deprived food. Love your daddy
Ever notice how we always fall in love? We never climb gently in to love, or step lightly in to love. If love is such a good thing than why is it described as a fall. Posts: 918 | From: La Salle Illinois USA | Registered: Sep 2003
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You couldn't be bothered to mow your grandmother's yard in exchange for getting a house to live in for free with your family. You expected her to pay all your utility bills, loan you vehicles, and still have money left over to give you. You made one appearance, ever, when she was sick and dying.
You promised her that you'd clean up the house you'd all been living in and had thoroughly trashed before leaving in the middle of the night, not telling anyone that you were moving. You left a house, a yard, and a barn full of broken furniture, dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and trash so thick that it's impossible to see the floor in at least one room. You didn't even close the utility accounts. You didn't even shut off and drain the hot water heater.
You couldn't be bothered to call or go see your aunt when she was dying. You didn't even bother to make another empty promise to clean up the rental property you and your family are responsible for decimating.
And now, for whatever reason, you've decided you're mad at your mother. Why? She doesn't even have any idea what's wrong with you. When we brought her to see you and the kids, you looked ready to throw us all out the instant we set foot in your door. Maybe you didn't notice that she's getting around more slowly. Maybe the nasty-sounding racking cough didn't register with you. Maybe you have no idea that your mother is DYING, because you're such a self-centered immature man-child who has no time or consideration for anyone other than himself.
The saddest part? S barely noticed his grandma was there, and you wouldn't even give us an idea when B would be home. You didn't even offer to set up a future date when they would both be home, so that she could see them! Those kids are her whole life, and you have been doing your damnedest lately to make sure she never gets to see them! Why didn't you tell anyone about S's 8th grade graduation? Was it a SECRET?
I hope you get what you've got coming to you, buddy. Doubtless it won't be me, even though I now own and will have to find some way of cleaning up that awful mess of a property you left behind, but I hope you get it from someone in spades. You're not getting any sympathy from the rest of the family if you wonder why your own kids have so little consideration for you in the future. I can promise you that. You're ten years older than I am. Get some NFBSKing maturity, already.
Not much love at all, Your infuriated cousin Para.
-------------------- "But what of the golden spider-duck and the squat crimson pig?" Posts: 425 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Dear Chaplain's Admin, Why oh why did you have to go on vacation NOW? The chapel I want to have my wedding at can only be reserved by calling the first day of the month the year before, which is today. And you're on vacation. I've been waiting since June, and I find my patience is not growing, it's thinning. I want to have my date set!! I was a good child and left a message on your vm at 8:32 this morning. Hopefully when you come in on (possibly) Friday, mine is the first message you'll hear, and I'll get my first choice. I really want to know! Sincerely, The Gustie from '03 who wants to get married at her alma mater's chapel
PS -- This is also disappointing because I was going to call The Fiance and tell him what our date was today, and now I can't. Boohoo for me. ladyknight
-------------------- Triumphs cannot be given. They must be taken, and the worse the odds, and the fiercer the resistance, the greater the honor. -- A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold Posts: 638 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Jul 2005
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Ok, I am writing you an e-mail tonight because we need to get a dialogue going on here, and you communicate better via e-mail about emotional stuff.
What I won't be writing you is how pissed off I am at you right now, because I'm hoping I can manage it so that it doesn't taint our friendship.That's where this comes in.
Again,I'm sorry for not being supportive when you called, again it was after 5 hours of non-stop hotline work and I had nothing left to give you emotionally.You have issues, these issues have been around for years, you know it and I do too. Do something about them.You deserve to be happy, stop sabotaging yourself.Break up with your girlfriend, explore what you need to explore and deal with your shit.
I have been there for you 24/7 in every way possible: taking your calls, calming you down, sitting on the phone with you as you cried,visiting you, so maybe you can get why calling me a bad friend because I can't be there for you emotionally once in six years rankles me There have been plenty of good times too, which I'm trying to keep in mind now. I have NOT been ignoring you for my new boyfriend, in fact I've gone out of my way to not be that girl who ignores others when she gets a man. On the other hand, telling your girlfriend she could e-mail me for advice about your relationship because "you know (best friend's name) the best" was not cool. You should have asked me first before putting me in that position.
You should have thought twice about going on vacation to visit your family with said girlfriend when you knew you wanted to break up with her. Playing mediator and tour guide when you came to visit SUCKED. I wanted to hang out with YOU, since you know, you live across the country and all and I hadn't seen you since Thanksgiving. Instead I got a few moments with you and alot of dealing with you and your gf's drama.Enough. I didn't believe it's possible but my limit of patience with you had been reached. I love you, but I've had enough.
We need to talk and sort this out and I need to get some boundaries laid down with you if this friendship is going to continue, which despite everything written here, I truly hope it does. I just need to calm down after having all my buttons pushed, since being pissy when I write that e-mail will have bad results.
*sigh*
Me
-------------------- The important thing is not to stop questioning- Einstein Posts: 290 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Mar 2005
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Please don't trick me, don't give me false hope. I was very excited to receive that positive on the ovulation tester and put the days after it 'to good use'. Please, body, be pregnant... there's already going to be 4 years between a possible baby and it's sibling, and I'm not getting any younger.
~Me
-------------------- "Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple." - Willy Wonka Posts: 388 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by zman977: ...but do you have to constantly lick my pillow? Nothing like getting in to bed and feeling a nice big puddle of doggy drewl on your cheak and head as you lat on your pillow. Yuck.
You sure she's licking the pillow?
Our one dog used to get up on the couch and lick her butt, leaving a nice big puddle of butt-juice.
If I were you I'd close the door and get a new pillow.
-------------------- Jack the sound barrier. Bring the noise.
I want you to know that I love you like a sister. As a matter of fact, you know that I always refer to you as my sister. Saying this to say that I care about you too much to watch you go through this relationship and be unhappy. I know you and D are trying to have a baby together, but what kind of life do you really think you are going to have??? I really wish you would realize just how wrong D is for you. I know you think so many signs point to yes as far as the two of you being together, but I think you will never be truly happy if you remain with him. I believe people can change, but in his case, I just think he never will fully do a 180. Please think about yourself, your son, and before anything happens, the baby you two could have together. I hope you come to your senses, even though if you haven't in the last 5 years, I don't think you ever will.
I love you with all my heart!
Your "little sister"
Me!
-------------------- Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants? ~I'mNotDedalus Posts: 975 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Dear whatever NFBSKr pinched The Legend of the Green Flame
That was the only copy in the city, and now I can't use it for my display. Happy?
Disgruntled
Thordis
-------------------- Daria: "I almost killed a dog today" Jane: "Gonna work your way up to humans slowly?" Posts: 385 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Dear "Herman," I am so happy you are doing better. I can't wait to come to the hospital and hold your hand and talk to you. I know I'm not funny like the guys and we don't have a bunch of inside jokes, but I hope my visiting makes you happy. I am kicking myself for not having a car because if I did I would be able to come over all the time. Please keep getting better so fast, we really, really miss you. Love, ThistleS
Dear RC Cat, Okay, I will start letting you out, but you need to understand that we can't leave the window open for you to come and go as you please. Therefore, it behooves you to stay nearby and pay attention to when someone is home and can let you back in. Please don't get lost or killed, I love you more than I ever thought I could love a drooling cat. Your pseudo-mommy, ThistleS
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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It's the federal governement. They jerk us all around. I've been here longer than you have and have had to put up with their lies and promises for much longer. It's just a big waiting/politness game. So just smile, send a "Thank you for even acknowledging we even exisit" e-mail, and then do as little as required from them. They can't carry out their threats. What's the most they can do? Take away our pentium 2 PC's or the printer that never works? Or maybe the people that never work? Breathe and move on.
Toto
-------------------- Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket? Posts: 35 | From: Kansas | Registered: Sep 2005
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Huh? Although I received excellent service from all four of your branches, I have to wonder why you have things so split up. Why did I have to go one place for testing and my licence, another for my title,and a third for registration? Why don't you have everything in one spot like MI and CA do? It's just weird.
Your newest buckeye
-------------------- Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart My Blog Posts: 7725 | From: Columbus, Ohio | Registered: Nov 2000
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I (mostly) followed the directions in the cookbook. Why did you take so long to cook? A few minutes more, I can understand but almost double the cook time? What's up with that?
--Lydia "I'm no chef, but I can follow directions" Oh Lydia
-------------------- "My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League. Posts: 1815 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
Dear lovely pediatrician who saw my son today,
It was worth waiting the six weeks until you were back to get this appointment, since you were so trusting of -my- judgement and willing to listen. Thank you for recognizing that seeking medical treatment for his ADHD was the last thing tried, that we weren't trying for a "quick fix", and that I was already familiar with the symptomology having already dealt with one child who needed meds for a couple of years. Let's see how we can help this guy get a grip on his impulse control and attention span together so he can be a happy kid in a less-stressed family.
-------------------- "There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein Posts: 1058 | From: Yakima, WA | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Dear Weather, Please cool down. Any high between 70 to 85 would be great. Thank you, vfwchick
-------------------- God bless our Troops! If you can't stand behind our troops, please, feel free to stand in front of them. Posts: 380 | From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2006
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Yeah. I get it. You were cute song when I heard you on Sunday. Over and over in my head since then, not so much. You make me want to jab a pencil in my ear.
Trish "I'd rather hear the Leningrad Cowboys singing" DaDish ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
quote:Originally posted by I'm Anya: Dear Trish,
I was scrolling upwards from the bottom of this page and all I saw was the "Dear Anthony Perkins..." part of your post (didn't look at the location or who posted it). And my first thought was "That sounds like something Trish would post." Am I psychic? Or did I just have something buried in my subconscious that you had posted at some time in the past?
I think the only time I've mentioned him was last year, when I was asking a question about Fear Strikes Out (I can't find the thread anywhere). But it seems I now have an excuse to watch my guilty pleasure, the train wreck that is...Edge Of Sanity! Jeckyll & Hyde, Jack the Ripper, cocaine binges, 80's New Wave fashion in Victorian England...what's not to love? (Then again, I'm a card carrying MSTie, so there's a bit of sadist blood in me.)
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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Does no one here wear pantyhose? I mean really, I find those in abundance in Kansas. But here, four stores, no joy. Why?
Befuddled, Loyhargil
-------------------- Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee. Posts: 1170 | From: Iowa | Registered: Aug 2004
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That was an excellent paper you turned in. I also thought so when your roommate turned it in last semester. If you're going to plagiarize, please don't be so blatant about it. I do find it rather annoying that you think I'm so stupid that I can't recognize something that I read just a few months ago.
BTW, you don't know it yet, but you and I have an appointment with the Dean of Students right after class tomorrow.
Prof. C.
-------------------- Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico Posts: 287 | From: Mystic, CT | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Dear husband, I think we are the hugest dorks in the world for sitting not ten feet away from each other and chatting on AIM from our respective laptops. However, I have to tell you, talking to you online has brought out that nice little mushy-gushy feeling that I used to have all the time, when we were dating and we used AIM all the time. For some reason it's easier to be playful and flirty with you when we talk online -- even though you're sitting RIGHT THERE -- and I'm not really sure why that is. I love you, you big goofy guy. -your loving wifey
Sometimes it's easier to express yourself online than in person, even when that person is right there. J and I email each other sometimes when we're mad because it's easier than arguing, and we tend to not overreact as much.
AW
_________________________________________
To my mother's former employers:
NFBSK you. I don't say that often and mean it, but right now, I do. You'd better hope what you did wasn't illegal. If it is, you're screwed.
posted
monkey, you are so not completly weird. chillas and I still email each other all the time. Make it feel like we're back to where we started. Ain't love grand?
-------------------- Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart My Blog Posts: 7725 | From: Columbus, Ohio | Registered: Nov 2000
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First, when you want to eat food that isn't yours, find out whose it is before you eat it. If the person to whom it belongs to is in the apartment, then ask THEM if you may eat it. Eating MY food when I'm in the apartment without asking me is a major munchkin of mine.
Second, when someone's wallet is on the kitchen table, it is NOT any right of yours to go through their wallet to take out $20. That is stealing. Plain and simple. If I didn't have more self-control, I would write on our dry erase message board "If it's not your food, don't eat it. If it's not your wallet, don't take money from it!" in Spanish, just to make sure you understand it.
Finally, when you guys leave the apartment, if the only person in the apartment is asleep, don't leave the door open. I don't mean unlocked, because you know that the door locks automatically. I mean leaving the stinking door WIDE OPEN so that anyone could have come in and stolen stuff, or worse, raped the only person in the apartment- ME.
No love (more disgust), M
Dear J: I'm sorry that you had $20 stolen from your wallet. You know it couldn't have been me to steal your money (I have high moral standards). But that doesn't excuse you from using my shampoo, CONDITIONER (of which you use twice as much I do, since "your hair is thicker and longer"), and body wash. It really upsets me that we come into the program as friends, but that I don't look at you with such high regard when we depart. Like E and her friend, when you're going to use MY STUFF, ask me first! If I would prefer you not, I will give an explanation as to why. You could have paid the what, $2 for another bottle of Suave conditioner, instead of using mine, right? This makes me a little happier that I didn't get my favorite shampoo and conditioner, because that would have put me back a LOT more than what it has now.
Not love, more "like", M
Dear S:
You are an awesome roommate. Always have been, always will be. I hope we stay friends after our internship is over.
Much love, M
-------------------- My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine." Blog Just call me Mickey 2 Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006
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We've sent you a letter. You have 7 days to get the truck back to us or your ass is ours, dude. This has gone on long enough. We're coming up on five months -- more than enough time to put in several fuel pumps, computers and engines, but you've only needed to put in one of each. Seriously, we're the wrong people to screw around with. DH is a cop, for DOYC's sake -- if you don't give us the truck and it's still blocked in when we go to get it, he'll swear out a warrant against you -- you can't keep other people's property forever, ya know! And me, I'll be working come Fall at the place wherefrom you get most of your business -- how long do you think it'll take before someone asks me how I liked the work you did on our vehicle, since they all knew when I took it to you -- BACK WHEN PRESCHOOL WAS STILL IN SESSION? Ya know that saying about how one dissatisfied customer can cancel out ten satisfied ones....
So not even close to being sincerely yours,
Me
-------------------- Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe Posts: 2211 | From: Harford County, MD | Registered: Oct 2005
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Dear Mom, Wow you called! It's only been over a week. I didn't need to hear that my brother loves me too on the voicemail. I don't hate him, but I don't care. I'm glad you're checking on me & lil squish due to the heat <3
Dear green tea I have drank all 24 bottles of you within 3 days...I think you've added something to keep me hooked!
Dear body, I need to go to sleep AND have the opportunity yet I'm here...GAH!
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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I don't know how much more I can take. I've been putting up with his crappy attitude for a week now. No matter what I do, what I say, he comes back with a mean comment or a snotty tone. I know he was gone for three weeks and that's a lot of time to put up with his relatives, but why the hell can't he see I'm not the person they tell him I am?
I can take him being snotty, but please make him stop insulting me. Its really beginning to hurt my feelings. I already feel useless enough. I don't need his crap on top of it.
~Me
PS, yes, I have talked to him. He tells me to drop it and then ignores me.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Norton II: Dear Student,
That was an excellent paper you turned in. I also thought so when your roommate turned it in last semester. If you're going to plagiarize, please don't be so blatant about it. I do find it rather annoying that you think I'm so stupid that I can't recognize something that I read just a few months ago.
BTW, you don't know it yet, but you and I have an appointment with the Dean of Students right after class tomorrow.
Prof. C.
Dear Prof. C.:
Could have been worse: student could have been plagiarizing one of your papers. I had a prof in university who swears a student did this to her.
And good on ya for reporting the student. If I had to write all my papers from original thoughts, why shouldn't this twit?
Canuck
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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[I am not likely to send this so this is the perfect forum for me to get this off my chest]
I am still hurt by the lies you told me. We were so incredibly close – talking on the phone 2 or 3 times a day, every day, for two months; sending emails at work; spending time together as much as possible (2 – 3 times a week). I cannot believe you held such a big thing back from me when we had shared so much else.
I guess since I’m such an open person, I expect everyone else to be. Yes, I had my doubts about you, but you were such a good boyfriend otherwise – reassuring me when my dad died, or when I was worried that we were moving too fast; sitting with me for 8 hours during my daughter’s surgery. The physical and emotional intimacy was so wonderful.
Now, it’s over, and I still don’t know why you lied to me, even after I’d caught you in your lies. I miss talking to you, being with you - heck, I just miss you. I don’t miss the drama of the last two weeks, but I miss everything else. You made me feel so good about myself. I miss that too.
I will never completely understand why you did what you did, nor will I ever know the whole, unvarnished truth about a lot of things in your life. And even though I’ve been through all the emotions lately – anger (at you, and at myself for trusting you), sorrow, grief, relief, loneliness – I am OK, and will continue to be OK. I know I deserve better treatment than that.
I just hurt. And I still miss you.
I’m Anya
ETA: Oh, and while I'm at it, stop blaming your first wife for "ruining" your whole life. Using something bad that happened 28 years ago is just an excuse. If things are still bad in your life at this point, look in the mirror, buddy.
Whew, I feel better now!
Edited again to add quotes around a word.
-------------------- When my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. Posts: 1765 | From: Greensboro, NC | Registered: Aug 2003
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quote:Originally posted by monkey: Lizzy, Chillas? As in our very own Chillas, of snopes fame? I had no clue you guys were together! I miss everything around here! -monkey
That would be the one. We've been together for almost 5 months now, but we've been quiet about it. But not anymore...'cause I just don't care who knows!
Frog_Feathers,
{{{hugs}}} for you. I wish I had more to offer, but I've always got an ear if you need one.
Lizzy
-------------------- Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart My Blog Posts: 7725 | From: Columbus, Ohio | Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
Dear Lizzy, I *knew* it, I just knew it. I've been wondering when you two would come clean. Especially now that you've moved in. Congrats you two.
Geez, snopes has as much success as match.com!
Gibbie
-------------------- If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. Posts: 3993 | From: Indiana | Registered: Feb 2000
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There have been plenty of good times too, which I'm trying to keep in mind now. I have NOT been ignoring you for my new boyfriend, in fact I've gone out of my way to not be that girl who ignores others when she gets a man. On the other hand, telling your girlfriend she could e-mail me for advice about your relationship because "you know (best friend's name) the best" was not cool. You should have asked me first before putting me in that position. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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We've been together for almost 5 months now, but we've been quiet about it. But not anymore...'cause I just don't care who knows! 
