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» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » Rantidote » Letters you'd love to send--July 2006 (Page 5)

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Author Topic: Letters you'd love to send--July 2006
Loyhargil
We Three Blings


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Dear first pair of pretty, pretty shoes I ever paid full price for, thanks to the new job,

*sigh* You're so pretty. You and your brethern better be worth giving up 9 hours worth of Snopes for.

Sincerely,

Me

--------------------
Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee.

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Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Tzarina:
Dear Peanut,

You did so well yesterday! Everyone complimented you on behaving so well during your baptism. You are a wonderous child, indeed. And now you're officially Catholic. I hope I can help you on the stuff you have questions about, but if I can't...you've got awesome Godparents who can.

On a side note, I hope your leg is feeling better this morning. Now wake up, so gramma can look at it and tell me if I need to come get you.

Your proud, non-Catholic mommy.

Dear Godparents of the Peanut,

You guys are my best friends. You've been beside me from the minute the kid was born. When I was a single mom, you helped me so much. If it wasn't for you, I'm not sure we would have made it. I can't think of anyone who I'd rather have for Peanut if anything were to happen to DH and I. I know you'll take this seriously, and I'm grateful for that. She loves you both as much as I do. Thank you both for doing us the honor.

Holley

Dear Tzarina,

I was raised Catholic, and am a pretty healthy Bible scholar. Any Qs come up that you just want answers to quickly, shoot. [Smile]

C

Dear Apartment,

Five days, and you're MINE!!!

C

--------------------
"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
Countdown: 177 days and counting... or less. My blog. 14 keyboards owed.

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Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Casey, rolling home:


Dear Apartment,

Five days, and you're MINE!!!

C

Yours? [Wink]

--------------------
Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Road Trip Minstrel:
quote:
Originally posted by Casey, rolling home:


Dear Apartment,

Five days, and you're MINE!!!

C

Yours? [Wink]
Dear Minstrel and Casey:

Get a room!

Oh, wait, you will in five days. Never mind. [Big Grin]

Canuck

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Road Trip Minstrel:
quote:
Originally posted by Casey, rolling home:


Dear Apartment,

Five days, and you're MINE!!!

C

Yours? [Wink]
Well, ours. [Big Grin]

--------------------
"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
Countdown: 177 days and counting... or less. My blog. 14 keyboards owed.

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Zabia
Deck the Malls


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Dear VH1,
Seriously, I love your "I love" shows. But seriously, why can you not have a show without the Donna's on it? I couldn't stand it when they popped up on I Love The 80's. Mostly due to them barely being born during that time. But I rant and rant at my tv and hope this is the last of it. When, to my shock and horror, they pop up on I love the 70's. WTELF? They are 20 years old, not even near being able to talk about how cool something was 35 years ago. I don't even have those balls. I couldn't help but wonder if they had totally messed up a segment of the 80's and so you just used it, you know, because they weren't even born and had no real clue.
Also, on the same topic, I love that you love my generation, but when talking about 1971, could you have at least put people who were out of nappies during the time on the show? Yes, I know, you had some of the original stars, but for your commentators, you had the same people as ever, all about my "remembering the rocking of the 70's" age of 32.
I love the pop culture stuff, makes me better at trivia games, but please, everyone over 42 who actually played with those games and saw those shows are not dead.
Come on, the Donna's? They aren't as culturally revelant as you seem to think.

--------------------
We frettered around like farm animals, looking around for formulas and father figures. -Twilight Zone

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mags
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear M.,

Thank you for showing your true colors so quickly, so I no longer need to have emotional qualms about you. Worry that you may have been in a bad situation even after the change is why we were concerned. I'm happy you're happy in your life now, it's what you could have had all along if your mother hadn't been so selfish. I wish you could see that. But, I understand your wanting to take her side, no matter how awful she has been, and it makes things much more convenient for us over here.

Glad not to have known you. Please continue with the enjoyment of your new life.

Goodbye.

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Archie2K
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Budget Car Rental,

During the entirety of the process of booking a rental car things were not made clear. It was not made clear that the booker had to be the primary named driver. Petrol was sold to me on false pretenses. Everything was not made clear. Hitting me for £100 of extra charges because "everywhere does it that way" isn't a reasonable excuse. Thank you for being so unhelpful during the entire process before and after. I shall use someone else next time since your customer service department clearly doesn't care about customer retention.

Ta, Arch

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Archie2k, just FYI, but in my experience, Budget is least budget friendly of the major car rental agencies. Sorry I wasn't able to pass on that information in advance.

Seaboe

--------------------
Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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CherryQueen
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Recptionist,
It was *7* days worth, NOT *10*. YOU made the appointment for 10 days and when I realized that would be too long and I'd be suffering for at least 3 days, I changed the appointment to Tuesday, which was your nearest available to the day I needed. I NEED Monday... so THAT'S why I asked you to call me if there is a cancellation. Check my record, the duplicate prescription is right there, and it's for 15 pills, one twice a day.

CQ

--------------------
"Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Warning, much swearing ahead.

Dear Whoever NFBSKed up the ellipsometer,

Goddammit. The bulb was burned out. That's why there was no light. There was absolutely no need to adjust tons of different things in an effort to focus light that wasn't there. Now we have a new lightbulb (which I ordered) and it is giving total internal reflectance, not on the sample, but within the instrument because it's not hitting the sample.

Jeesum NFBSKing Crow people! If the on button didn't stop clicking that means there was no light coming in. Stop messing around with stuff you know nothing about. Now I have to spend an afternoon fixing something I know nothing about because no one else will.

And whoever has the manual, NFBSK you, the horse you rode in on and your little dog too.

Not happy, TGirl

****

Dear TGirl:
Happy Birthday to you. Yeah. Whatevs. [Roll Eyes]
Me

*****

Dear Canuck,
Shoe shopping and drinks it is!

TGirl

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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TGirl--it was student #2 (it doesn't matter whether it really was, student #2 is the perfect scapegoat).

Have a virtual margarita or daquiri on me, plus permission to snap at anyone who so much as blinks wrong while you're fixing the machine. After all, it's your birthday, so you're Queen of the World today.

Seaboe

--------------------
Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear Faith,

I just started in on the mint flavored Echo's. Mmmmmmmm. Heavenly!

I told you those things would last us all summer,
TrishDaDish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not so dear Danielle,

Stop being such an ass. I would call you worse things, but I'd be banned from the boards for it.

-Big sis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Steve and Holly,

Thank you for the gift cards in the mail, even if each one gives Ma a few brain cells bursting.

Stop doing crap for Danielle. She's using you, boy-o, the same way she and J used Da, and it's wrecking your health the same way. Stop helping that ingrate out, because she's not thankful. I would've thought those batpoppy insane messages on the machine you played for me would've been a clue. You don't own the house, and neither does she. She wants to squat there, let her pay the damn fines and bills. And YES, for the love of God, change your nfbsking phone number. You do not need that other crap. You have you (and Miss Holly's health) to think about right now.

Now, you may not believe this, Steve, but if you moved out of Orlando...there are hospitals and doctors in other cities and states. Holly can get help anywhere. Unless she's going to drop dead in five minutes (which she's not), please consider moving the heck out of there and finding a new doctor somewhere else. Preferable somewhere thousands of miles away from your mental, schemeing, lazy assed, ungrateful little sister. You know, before you have a complete breakdown in every sense of the word.

-Trish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear self,

Good on you for walking to the movies by yourself (and back again). Good on you for ignoring Ma's attempt at doing the same crap she did last year. Last week, Superman Returns. This week, the new Pirates movie. And if Ma whines how she wanted to go, tough potatoes, because I ain't havin' it no more.
-Yourself

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear TGirl,

Happy birthday, Queen of Science! [Smile]

Minstrel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear M,

So far, so good. I think you will work out just fine.

Your relieved trainer

--------------------
Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

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Archie2K
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker:
Archie2k, just FYI, but in my experience, Budget is least budget friendly of the major car rental agencies. Sorry I wasn't able to pass on that information in advance.

Seaboe

A general search amongst the majors revealed that they were the cheapest by quite some margin. With the annoying hidden charges thrown in they would up being about the same as any of the others though. Of course those car rental agencies may have been dicks too and charged extra as I have been assured (by miserable customer service rep #2) that this is a general policy amongst all agencies. Car rental is a jerkoff of a thing to do. I hate it now. Next time I'm just gonna car jack someone's sedan in Newark. I mean the rough districts look scummy enough to get away with it.

I was really hoping to get some vouchers or something though just to keep their customers happy. Complaining really isn't in my nature though. I always feel like a jerk no mater how wronged I blatantly was. An apology and the chance to tell miserable customer service rep #2 to "play with yourself" was all the joy I got.

Yeah OK I am a jerk. [Smile]

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Forgot to mention one.

Dear humidity,

You suck. The air is so thick in the computer room, I am literally gasping for air in here. Which means I either have to go offline, so I can go in a room with an air conditioner and breath properly again, or pass out from hyperventilating.

Get bent,
TrishDaDish

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear TGirl,

Happy Birthday! As Queen for the Day, you can also hit anyone with your Sceptor of Stupidity or banish them to the Dungeon of Dumbness. Go for it! Many, many virtual drinks heading your way, feel free to get virtually blitzed!

-- Jocko

--------------------
Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Hey, TGirl, here's your cake...

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Algae
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Work:

Please do yourself.

Algae

Dear Algae:

Hey, look at the time, 4:40! You can leave in 20 minutes! Yay!

Algae

--------------------
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Don't drink and derive!

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Syllavus
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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And here's your present TGirl. Sorry, he's all I could find. [Big Grin] Happy birthday!

--------------------
"That would be really dangerous, you know. Indiscriminately extricating someone from the petrified corpse of a supernatural creature." - My Husband

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Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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waffles

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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Dear TGirl,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If I knew you were comin', I'd'a baked a cake...

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Syllavus, phworr! Do you think he has a brother?

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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waffles

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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Dear self:
Why are you so upset? He's only going to be gone for 2 1/2 weeks. He'll be back. Then, once he leaves again, it's only another 2 1/2 weeks until you see him again. You two had a fantastic vacation. Now quit moping, go to the grocery store, and be at least a little productive.

-Me

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
vanilla
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Happy B-day TGirl!

--------------------
I swear, it was funnier in my head.
Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink.

Posts: 2493 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Happy BDay, TGirl. I knew I liked you for some reason - fellow Cancer!

Hope yours is better than mine turned out to be!

--------------------
"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Hey everyone, Thanks!

It looks like the instument is going to have to be sent out for repairs.

Turquoise "wow do I feel old" Girl

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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The Goof
Deck the Malls


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Happy B-day T-Girl. Hope it gets better!

And, no I don't have a brother.

--------------------
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,than to open it and remove all doubt."- Mark Twain

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Dear woman at my favorite take-out,

What part of "roast beef roll-up. Extra cheese, extra mayo. Holt the salad" translates into extra onions, pickles and tomatoes? At least you didn't put the lettuce on. Lucky for you, I don't mind tomatoes, pickles and onions. Just not on my roast beef.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

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vanilla
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by tribrats' taxi service:
Dear woman at my favorite take-out,

What part of "roast beef roll-up. Extra cheese, extra mayo. Holt the salad" translates into extra onions, pickles and tomatoes? At least you didn't put the lettuce on. Lucky for you, I don't mind tomatoes, pickles and onions. Just not on my roast beef.

Hee. Personally, I hate sandwiches with pot. No pot between my meat and bread is the way to go.

What? POT. Pickles, Onions, and Tomatos. What did you think I meant? [Wink]

Yeah, I get strage looks from deli places when I say that to them too. At least my co-workers get a kick out of it and even order my sandwiches for me so they can say it! "She'll have a cheeseburger, no pot."

--------------------
I swear, it was funnier in my head.
Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink.

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Noemi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Dear TGirl:

Happy Birthday!

N

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear weather:

What is it with the weird weather patterns this week? The rain is nice but it's really making it difficult to get the pictures I want with my guests. I think everyone would get pretty bored with pictures of the fish around my messy house.

Me

--------------------
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
My blog, no guarantees about witty or intelligent content. My current projects.
Coveted Beads <---- our eBay store, new items being added somewhat regularly

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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[lol] vanilla, I like that. Like I tell them, the salad goes in the bowl with the dressing. Not on my roll-up. And I don't like bread so I won't use grinder rolls. Has to be syrian bread or roll-ups.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

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Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl:
It looks like the instument is going to have to be sent out for repairs.

Ya know, in light of your cake and presents, this sounds, somehow, much more suggestive!

--------------------
Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

Posts: 2211 | From: Harford County, MD | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Noemi:
Dear weather:

What is it with the weird weather patterns this week? The rain is nice but it's really making it difficult to get the pictures I want with my guests. I think everyone would get pretty bored with pictures of the fish around my messy house.

Me

Perhaps Thwacky and Whacky better get busy on that ark?

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Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

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