quote:Originally posted by Wild Turkey Sandwich Otaku: Is dropping a last name after a divorce for a woman really required?
I am my husband's second wife. His ex-wife kept his name; I think she just didn't want to go through the trouble of changing it back to her maiden name. They had an amiable divorce so I guess it's not a big deal. Sometimes the idea of it bothers me, but that's my problem. We occasionally get mail delivered to the house with her name on it. I really don't know why it bothers me that she kept my husband's last name. It's silly of me, really. It doesn't mean anything.
-------------------- "You better respect the Rap or the Rap won't respect you." Ledatru Posts: 1141 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: May 2005
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My name is James, but I go by Jack. You should see the fun that I have when I visit a branch of my bank that is not really familiar with me. A previous employer would make my paychecks out to James, but my expense checks out to Jack.....they never believed I was me.
And on a completely different note, my stepfather gets mail addressed to Firstname Mom'spreviousmarriedname...we always get a laugh out of that....
-------------------- Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket? Posts: 782 | From: Arlington, TX | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Aud: I thought the name on the bank account would look more like "June Clever dba Anne Teakes" dba means Doing Business As. The ckecks for that account would have both names. Checks written to the account can have either name.
Depends. I believe the bank account would include the DBA but I'm not sure the checks would.
At any rate, it occurs to me that DW and I are talking at cross purposes and that he's using "fake" to mean only illegal ids whereas I'm using "fake" to include illegal and legal forms of secondary identification.
So we probably aren't disagreeing as much as I thought we were.
Seaboe
-------------------- Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me Posts: 5562 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Griffin 2020: My name is James, but I go by Jack.
I can do you one better. I have a friend whose name is Chris, only he goes by Luke (no, it's not his middle name). I've never actually discussed this aspect of the situation with him...hm...maybe I should.
Seaboe
-------------------- Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me Posts: 5562 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2005
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Mr. Furious
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Ha. My grandfather's name was Fillmore. He went by "Jim." Nobody - including my grandmother, has any idea where "Jim" came from. His middle name was nothing even close to "Jim." In fact, it didn't even contain the letters J, I, or M.
My uncle - also named Fillmore, though with a different middle name - goes by Jim as well.
quote:Originally posted by Mr. Furious: Ha. My grandfather's name was Fillmore. He went by "Jim." Nobody - including my grandmother, has any idea where "Jim" came from. His middle name was nothing even close to "Jim." In fact, it didn't even contain the letters J, I, or M.
Nobody knows where "Luke" came from, either. Now, Luke's actual middle name does contain the letter E, so I guess he must bow to your grandfather on that issue.
Luke has had the nickname since the age of about six weeks. He was told a source--Cool Hand Luke--which he believed until he realized he was 11 when that movie came out.
Seaboe
-------------------- Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me Posts: 5562 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2005
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I go by a nickname of my middle name, which causes endless confusion and entertainment. My given name is Mary Carolina, but go by Carly. People call and ask for Mary, or won't leave messages for "Mary" because the voicemail says "Carly". I didn't even realize my real first name was Mary until I was about 9 or so!
Seaboe, I've got Luke beat...I've been known as Carly instead of Mary since I was about a day and a half old. And I know where it comes from: My grandmother looked at me and said, "She looks like a Carly, doesn't she?".
-------------------- Triumphs cannot be given. They must be taken, and the worse the odds, and the fiercer the resistance, the greater the honor. -- A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold Posts: 638 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Mr. Furious: Ha. My grandfather's name was Fillmore. He went by "Jim."
What is it with those wacky grampas? Mine was named Charles, but went by Don.
Four Kitties
-------------------- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Posts: 13275 | From: Kindergarten World, Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2003
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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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quote:Originally posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker: I'm sorry DemonWolf, but how can I explain in a way you will understand that having the name on the sheet of paper not be the one that you are legally entitled to does not make the paper a forgery?
It depends on the paper. If you write out a paper saying, "hello, my name is bob" then you have not commited forgery, and it is also not an accepted form of identification. If you print out a paper which is intended to appear to be a driver's licence or a social security card or a passport, you have commited a crime. These are the forms of ID that are required to open a bank account.
quote: A fake id is forgery, if you lie to obtain it and the name it bears is not the name you use.
or it purports to be a legal document and was not issued legally.
For example: -A Driver's licence that has been altered to show a name other than the one with which it has been issued or was not issue by the lisencing authority of your state (DMV/RMV/etc) - Social Security Card that has not been issued by the Social Security Administration. - A passport that has not been issued by the proper authority or has been altered.
The rest of your post I agree with.
My original point was that you must provide your real name to the bank.
-------------------- Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!
DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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quote:Originally posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Aud: [qb] At any rate, it occurs to me that DW and I are talking at cross purposes and that he's using "fake" to mean only illegal ids whereas I'm using "fake" to include illegal and legal forms of secondary identification.
So we probably aren't disagreeing as much as I thought we were.
Seaboe
I too am beginning to get that impression. I am using "false ID" to mean a form of identification not issued legally. If you apply for the document legally, that means that is is not fake but simply has a name other than your "real name."
Using a dba name would be no different than using a company name. For example, June Cleaver doing business as "Anne Teakes" is essentially the same as her doing busines as "June's Florist and Strip-O-Gram Inc."
-------------------- Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!
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Regarding the DBA issue, I just set up a business checking account for my Belly Dancing business. My account is set up as Galatea Middle Eastern Dance, with no DBA mentioned on either the account or the checks.
I did, however, file a DBA with my county clerk's office, and brought the form in when I set up the account - so maybe that made a difference?
-------------------- My Belly Dance Business - Galatea Middle Eastern Dance - www.galateadancer.com
Q: What's the difference between an onion and a mizmar? A: No one cries when they cut up a mizmar. Posts: 786 | From: Milwaukee, WI | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Wild Turkey Sandwich Otaku: Is dropping a last name after a divorce for a woman really required?
I am my husband's second wife. His ex-wife kept his name; I think she just didn't want to go through the trouble of changing it back to her maiden name. They had an amiable divorce so I guess it's not a big deal. Sometimes the idea of it bothers me, but that's my problem. We occasionally get mail delivered to the house with her name on it. I really don't know why it bothers me that she kept my husband's last name. It's silly of me, really. It doesn't mean anything.
Our neighbor on the Army base in Kansas kept her married name after the divorce because of the paperwork involved in changing it back (at the time, this was 18 years ago) ETA: she was in the Army too- she kept the housing quarters and other on-base stuff for families, and that it caused less confusion to have the same last name as her children (for daycare/school purposes).
But, then my friend here in town, his ex-wife kept his last name because she thought it would annoy him. She acts nearly gleeful when she introduces herself as "Ms. Mary HisLastName"... funny thing is, he doesn't care. He said as long as the papers were signed and it was over, she could call herself the queen of the world and he wouldn't care.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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When we got married moving to Canada was a dream,we coould do it and had the "required points" for entry. Shortly after DH was offered a job in Canada which we accepted.
Guess what ? In Quebec,now, all women keep their paternal surname. All of the ID I had changed in the UK wee changed back. My drivers liscence(sp?) was queendhlastname became maidenname queen dhlastname etc.
Meanwhile applying for Canadian citizenship I have to provide info on all names used.
-------------------- Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005
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As some of you may remember, my husband and I separated over a year ago.
I went and changed back to my maiden name in October or November. I didn't need any documents whatsoever. I got a new driver's license with my maiden name on it, and they told me they'd send me a new Medicare card in the mail. Awesome.
Well, what do you know? I got a Medicare card with my married name on it.
I haven't been arsed to get it fixed yet, though.
-------------------- A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Posts: 541 | From: New Brunswick, Canada | Registered: Mar 2005
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I have a friend whose Mom has been married and divorced three times, who uses the last name of her second husband.
The reason for this is logical enough: her second husband fathered her second (and last) child, and (I think) legally adopted the first (at least, that's the last name he goes by). So this way she has the same last name her kids use.
quote:What is it with those wacky grampas? Mine was named Charles, but went by Don.
I had a Grandpa Charlie, too, but the really weird one was BeowulfMom's father...his real name was Love Leroy Diamond. He simply went by "Roy."
(Contrary to what you might think, he was not a pimp! )
-------------------- Please visit my blog and leave a comment! It's all pretty and pink and quite funny. Go here: http://beowulfgirl.blogspot.com/ Posts: 1790 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jan 2001
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When my parents divorced (very UNamicably), my mother kept her married name. her reasoning was that she had three children in school, and she felt it would be easier on us to have a mom who had the same last name as we had, as divorce was trauma enough. You know, having teachers call her by her proper last name without us having to explain things, if friends wanted to look our phone numbers up in the phone book, etc. We are now all adults, and she still keeps her married name (she's never remarried.) I asked her why once, and she just shrugged. "I'm used to it. I've been Mom Marriedname for far longer than I was Daughter Maidenname, and it would just be too much bother to change it now."
ETA: I suddenly got some mail in my maiden name recently, too, after being married and using my married name for going on five and a half years. The one that amused me was from a dating service!
-------------------- "Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!" -John Keating, "Dead Poets Society" Posts: 2861 | From: New Jersey | Registered: May 2004
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Names are a funny thing. My grandmother kept my grandfather's last name when they divorced. When she got remarried, she took the new husband's last name. When he died, she went back to my grandfather's last name. Pretty confusing for a young grandchild. Besides, I always thought her maiden name (Fox) was better than the other two anyway.
As for me, when I got divorced, I kept my ex's last name because I liked it so much better than my maiden name. I've been remarried since February and have yet to change everything into my new last name. A very big part of this is that I don't like my new last name. But the other very big part of it is that I came to NZ on a passport in my previous last name and due to immigration rules, my application for residency has to match the name in my passport. So I get to keep my old name a bit longer.
-------------------- He who angers you controls you. Posts: 33 | From: Auckland New Zealand | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by DemonWolf: Using a dba name would be no different than using a company name. For example, June Cleaver doing business as "Anne Teakes" is essentially the same as her doing busines as "June's Florist and Strip-O-Gram Inc."
Except that it's highly unlikely that anyone will think June's surname is actually "Florist & Strip-O-Gram, Inc." I was trying to choose a name that would create confusion.
Seaboe
-------------------- Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me Posts: 5562 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by DemonWolf: Using a dba name would be no different than using a company name. For example, June Cleaver doing business as "Anne Teakes" is essentially the same as her doing busines as "June's Florist and Strip-O-Gram Inc."
Except that it's highly unlikely that anyone will think June's surname is actually "Florist & Strip-O-Gram, Inc." I was trying to choose a name that would create confusion.
Seaboe
Do you know how tempted I am now to legally change my surname to "Florist & Strip-O-Gram, Inc.", just to mess with you?
If it wasn't for the fact that Mrs Sal would make me sleep in the shed for the next 10 years (possibly longer), you'd be calling me Mr Salamander Florist & Strip-O-Gram, Inc. right about now.
-------------------- "victory thru self-deception" Posts: 2211 | From: Western Australia | Registered: Jun 2005
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I was very slow (read: lazy) about getting my name changed after the marriage. Eventually, it became a thing wherein I wanted to wait until we moved into the new house, so I wouldn't have to change all my info twice (once for the name, once for the address.) Now, we get mail to "The MaidenName Family" and "Anyte MaidenName" and "Anyte MarriedName" and "DH MarriedName" and one or two things for "Mr. and Mrs. MaidenName"
FIL has a DBA, I'm not sure what all was entailed in setting it up though.
Anyway, you have my condolences, Ms. Girl, on this unfortunate reminder of your ex. I second (or third or whatever) the notion of denying that such a person as Mrs. Turquoise ExHusbandLastName exists, since she doesn't. My dad does the same thing to callers who can't pronounce his name.
Anyte Florist and Strip-O-Gram, Inc
-------------------- Too broke to pay attention Posts: 452 | From: Omaha, NE | Registered: Aug 2005
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-------------------- Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me Posts: 5562 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2005
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