snopes.com Post new topic  New Poll  Post a reply
search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » Rantidote » YOU'RE not wanted?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: YOU'RE not wanted?
finger stutters
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for finger stutters     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
My second favorite site (after snopes of course) used to be owned by this one guy. K seemed like an ok guy, but soon enough he started deleting about half of my posts, because they were "against the rules." Most of these posts were not against the rules and it was pretty questionable as to whether or not they should be deleted. While he continued to post things that seemed mildly offensive to me. That wasn't a big deal because I don't generally react to stuff like that.

Basicly I was just done with the site and finally left. I missed the community and my friends on the site, but it just wasn't worth it to feel attacked. I didn't make a big deal about my leaving, I just stopped going.

A friend of mine bought the site from K. He is a pretty cool guy, so I thought it would be ok to go back. K was still on the site, but he was no longer the owner.

Within weeks of rejoining the site, K has decided that he feels "unwanted." And that there is a "clique" forming. Everyone else on the site has gone to tell him that of course he is wanted and everyone loves him.

I know that its compeletely irrational, but I just wanted to lash out on him. Tell him that he did nothing but run people off the site, and that this "clique" is just people that actually post.

I know that I'm kind of the bad guy, and I didn't actually tell him that he was acting like a baby, but I just can't stand behavior like that anymore.

Thank God for this rule, "If you decide to publicly proclaim that you are leaving this board forever, please be sure you really mean it, because you won't be welcomed back."

--------------------
YHBT. YHL. HAND.
My youtube channel

Posts: 258 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
24K_ Kate
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 1 posted      Profile for 24K_ Kate   Author's Homepage   E-mail 24K_ Kate   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by thescoot106:

Thank God for this rule, "If you decide to publicly proclaim that you are leaving this board forever, please be sure you really mean it, because you won't be welcomed back."

No kidding. There is a similar situation going on at a board I help admin. The guy makes a post lamenting about how he is going to "Cut way back" on posting because of a situation with another “unnamed member." To insure he gets the proper "Oh please no!!! We LOVE you!" response, he joins another board where many of our members also post and alerts them to that thread. Of course, they all respond. Next day, the guy starts another thread announcing that he “just couldn’t stay away” and that he wouldn’t be cutting back after all. It’s frustrating, because he very carefully did not violate our version of rule 6 by declaring he was leaving forever. To top it off, all of this guy’s friends are ganging up on the unnamed member, who -rather than lower herself to his level- has quietly slipped away into lurkdom. [Frown]

--------------------
<---Callisto

I have a 60 second snack idea for Rachel (Ray): Xanax, vodka, fall asleep.--Adrianne Frost, Best Week Ever.

Posts: 2374 | From: Naw-fik, VA y'all | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Purple Iguana
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Purple Iguana   Author's Homepage   E-mail Purple Iguana   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Back when the MU*s were still active (for that matter, they may still be active and I just haven't logged in for a long time... so let's just say about 10 years ago), there was this MU* called Heaven's Door. The owner/head administrator of the place went by the screen name of Angel... dunno what her real name was. (No, it wasn't a religious MU*, although the names could lead one to think that.)

Anyhow, Angel and I got along really well until something truly petty happened... and it was so long ago and such a petty thing that I can't even tell you what it was anymore. Anyhow, it caused her to take down Heaven's Door, then reopen it at a different IP address, where she only told the people SHE LIKED where it was and what the password was and all of that. Needless to say, I was not among the chosen few.

While it's not exactly the same thing that happened to you, the attitudes of Angel and K seem remarkably similar.

Wish I had a solution for you... all I have is sympathy and a kind of BDTD weariness for these sort of people.

--------------------
They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

If I manage to post something swipe-worthy that you would like to make your sig, you may do so with my blessing.

Posts: 2486 | From: East Stroudsburg, PA | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
BeowulfGirl
Happy Holly Days


Icon 05 posted      Profile for BeowulfGirl   E-mail BeowulfGirl   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Oh, God, I have that exact same problem on another site I go to (Christie, are you out there? You know which one I'm talking about!) It's gotten to the point that I'm terrified to post a counter-opinion to one of the Great Goddess Moderators. I'm certainly not an inflammatory poster or a troll, but I do feel compelled to "watch my language" when I post there, and often end up obsessively editing the post anyway.

Here, of course, I just blither like an idiot and nobody seems to mind. [Big Grin]

--------------------
Please visit my blog and leave a comment! It's all pretty and pink and quite funny. Go here: http://beowulfgirl.blogspot.com/

Posts: 1790 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Rob D / Blackwolf, the yule dodo
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Rob D / Blackwolf, the yule dodo   Author's Homepage   E-mail Rob D / Blackwolf, the yule dodo   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I know how ye feel. Sometimes ye just want to grab through the monitor and strangle a few people.

But, a Moderator, especially the Owner of a Forum has always the discretion to edit or delete threads he deems offensive, even if the poster would disagree.
However, it is usually of good etiquette to tell the poster exactly WHY that post was removed. Which part exactly, not a canned "Was against the rules".
I myself have Moderator experience too, including being and Associate Sysop at a commercial Forum (CompuServe Gamers Forum). And the "tell exactly why" was one of our rules for moderator.

--------------------
~Reality, the refuge of those who fail in RPGs~
aka Darkfist Dragon
-==(UDIC)==-

Posts: 334 | From: Lancaster, Ohio | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
finger stutters
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for finger stutters     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rob D / Blackwolf, the flying dodo:
I know how ye feel. Sometimes ye just want to grab through the monitor and strangle a few people.

But, a Moderator, especially the Owner of a Forum has always the discretion to edit or delete threads he deems offensive, even if the poster would disagree.
However, it is usually of good etiquette to tell the poster exactly WHY that post was removed. Which part exactly, not a canned "Was against the rules".
I myself have Moderator experience too, including being and Associate Sysop at a commercial Forum (CompuServe Gamers Forum). And the "tell exactly why" was one of our rules for moderator.

I never complained that I felt like I was being attacked. He would send me a PM telling me that the link I had posted was inapproprate. The really weird thing about that was once I linked to snopes because it was related to what they were talking about, he removed the link and sent me a PM say that ebaumsworld (obviously not snopes) was inapproprate. I understand if things are against the rules, but it bothers me if I get in trouble for posting a link to a fairly safe site and then he posts a joke about a "wet pussy" the same day.

--------------------
YHBT. YHL. HAND.
My youtube channel

Posts: 258 | From: Colorado | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


Icon 1 posted      Profile for FrogFeathers   Author's Homepage   E-mail FrogFeathers   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I used to be on a board where if anyone got the least bit argumentative or any kind of strongly opinionated topic was discussed, they closed the thread and either deleted it or moved it to the private moderator forum.

Then, one day, two mods posted in a thread about a touchy subject and I happened to disagree with the both of them. I told them my side of it and said that they were judging the situation really harshly. They both started to attack me, calling me names and so on. I wouldn't respond in kind, because it was rather mature. I sent a PM to the board manager and pointed out that they've closed less-offensive threads and even threads that weren't even that mean. (they were really being mean to me in a personal attack kind of way). Anyway, I was banned from that board because I refused to give into their childish name-calling. I guess I learned don't disagree wtih two mods, no matter what my view is.

So, yeah, it takes all kinds out there.

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Lydia Oh Lydia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lydia Oh Lydia   Author's Homepage     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I really like this message board. Even though people disagree, they tend to be fairly civil about it.

I belong to an organization that has a message board. The organization is a non-profit with a constitution and bylaws. Part of the purposes are to encourage free discourse, open conversation, etc. It appears, however, that the msg board moderators are more interested in their clique and people that agree with them than free and open discourse. Add that to rampant, intentional snarks. It's really frustrating. Yes, I know I can leave. But I feel like I need to try to make the mods adhere to corporate charters and the like.

--------------------
"My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League.

Posts: 1815 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
BeowulfGirl
Happy Holly Days


Icon 302 posted      Profile for BeowulfGirl   E-mail BeowulfGirl   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
The biggest trouble I ever got into on a message board was for the show Queer As Folk. It was an absolute horror show. Gay people fought with straight people. Bisexual people fought with lesbians. Gay people who had children fought with those who didn't.

The first thing that happened was that the majority of the gay people insisted I had no right to post on the message board at all because I'm straight. Then they all became furious with me when I used the term "gay lifestyle"--they said that being gay isn't a "lifestyle" because they were "born gay."

Then the straight people got after me for "patronizing" the gay people. After much schedenfreud, the moderator closed the entire thread and refused to let any of us ever mention Queer As Folk again. [Confused]

--------------------
Please visit my blog and leave a comment! It's all pretty and pink and quite funny. Go here: http://beowulfgirl.blogspot.com/

Posts: 1790 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Adelaide
Remembrances of Things Bass


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Adelaide   E-mail Adelaide   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Oh what the heck, I'll add my little anecdote about leaving a list. Once there was a heated exchange with myself and a few other posters (including the below named L) on one side, and only one poster on the opposing side (M). M began sending threatening, nasty, off-list messages. When we notified the moderator, via private email, he said that off-list discussions were none of his business and he couldn't "baby-sit" us. O.K.

A few months later, a new poster (B) made the embarassing mistake of posting a private message to the list, criticizing one of the long-term members (L). L emailed B privately to "have it out" with her. B decided to respond to the entire list, with tears practically dripping down the screen, about how mean someone was being to her, and how she didn't think she could remain on the list after that. (Cue weeping and violins.)

The moderator pounced and demanded to know who it was that was being mean to poor little B off-list. I was so disgusted with that, and the general direction the list was taking, that I made an exit post (not a kiss-off, a very nice one actually). The co-moderator did send me an email asking me to stay, but I declined, saying that I had moved on and it would be tacky to stay after saying I was leaving.

--------------------
Natural selection is a beguiling counterfeiter of deliberate purpose. - Richard Dawkins

Posts: 620 | From: Alaska | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Lemon Demon
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lemon Demon   E-mail Lemon Demon   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I have been in a some-what similar situation. I had been on a message board for about a year and was kinda of high up in rankings when I found out how to make my own message board. I did so, and co-managed the message board with a friend.

I still posted on the other message board, and eventually I was made an admin. soon after, The site began to go down the tubes. The owner began posting links to another site and was telling everyone to leave this board and join the other.

well, I told the owner that I was not going to leave this board and all of my settings just because he wanted to join with a new site. I respectfully told everyone there I would not be joining this new site and left.

Outraged, the owner tracked down my personal board, hacked it, and destroyed and deleted everything I had put into it.

so, make sure the person you are having prob;ems with has none of your personal stuff before you leave.

--------------------
"Realizing that one could Time Travel within his own liftime, Dr. Sam Becket stepped into the Quantum leap accelerator...and Vanished."-Quantum Leap

Posts: 44 | From: Cameron Park, CA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Paulie Jay
O Little Down-Payment of Bethlehem


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Paulie Jay     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I moderated forums on a large music website for a few years, and I ran a pretty tight ship, and the members liked that. Sadly, many of the other moderators ran their forums with all the discipline of an untrained puppy, playing favourites and not living by their own rules. When members spot inconsistencies they feel justifiably upset. When the majority of those members are teenagers the upsets turn ugly real fast.

For the last year it seemed as if I was continually putting out bushfires rather than enjoying myself, and after a big squabble about copyright (the board admin forbade me from expressing a legally correct opinion about the website's breaches of copyright law) I left.

A messageboard community stands or falls on its maturity. That's why I feel very comfortable here, as well as at Bad Astronomy.

--------------------
All the way with Paulie Jay

Posts: 476 | From: Sydney, NSW, Australia | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Andrew of Ware, England
A-Ware in a Manger


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Andrew of Ware, England   Author's Homepage   E-mail Andrew of Ware, England   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I am a moderator for the Lancashire County Cricket Club Forum and being an official forum for England's largest professional cricket club we have to run a pretty tight ship - especially as many of our members are British School Kids.

Usually there are no problems, but one member who was also a moderator, began to criticise the club too voluably. We can criticise, but not abuse, the club. He did and was 'demoted'. He still posts, but has the occasional swipe at the forum.

On one occasion a member raised a point and asked a moderator to sdtart a new thread if we thought it worthy of further discussion. It was and I started a new thread and this member made a sarcastic comment about how threads can only be started by moderators (which wasn't the case).

The worst problems we have had was a new member who made a couple of posts which did nothing except link to pornographic sites. After looking at the sites - briefly - I deleted the posts and 'admin' deleted the ten or so accounts that this member had created.

--------------------
Andrew, Ware, England

Posts: 1709 | From: Ware, England | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Unusual Elfin Lights
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


Icon 209 posted      Profile for Unusual Elfin Lights   Author's Homepage   E-mail Unusual Elfin Lights   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
One board I occasionally frequent is populated by military types, mostly. While military types do come in all shapes, sizes and leanings, this board seemed to be the magnet for all the ultra-conservative special forces wannabees.

One day someone posts something in the "opinion" section. In his opinion on a military matter, he has several (6) errors of fact that help him form his opinion. The next five responses were all "Right on! That is so true!"

I posted, in much the same persona that I post here and cite the six instances where what he "knew" was not true and that he re-evaluate his opinion. I was attacked from all sides. I was a "traitor" (the mildest of the terms). One even accused me of not being in the military but of being a nik in disguise. I made the mistake of trying to justify my response by stating that uninformed soldiers making judgement calls can only lead to problems.

I was then harangued by two mods (out of the 25 there are) who both threatened to ban me. Apparently, because it was posted in opinions, I had no place to try to correct anything. One used the words (forever etched in my brain) "I don't care what your facts say, it does not make you right. And that is my opinion."

So I only go to that forum every couple of weeks to see what is going on in the technology threads.

Posts: 2064 | From: New Brunswick, Canada | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
BeowulfGirl
Happy Holly Days


Icon 603 posted      Profile for BeowulfGirl   E-mail BeowulfGirl   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
On The West Wing a few years back, there was an episode in which C.J. wrote an e-mail to her father about the things that were going on in the White House that day. (It was sort of like on M*A*S*H when Hawkeye wrother to his father in any of the "Dear Dad" episodes.)

In any case, the following day I went to a West Wing website I liked, and several posters asked what the technical term was for letter writing as exposition. Being an English professor, I actually knew this, and posted that the term was "epistilomogical."

I also made the horrific mistake of posting that Jane Austen was one of the first to do this. That wasn't good.

Within ten minutes there was a barrage of postings, every one of them correcting my error; and not in a nice way. One of them even told me that I was probably a "lousy professor."

I was stunned and hurt. In retrospect, I really should have known better than to butt in. [Frown]

--------------------
Please visit my blog and leave a comment! It's all pretty and pink and quite funny. Go here: http://beowulfgirl.blogspot.com/

Posts: 1790 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post new topic  New Poll  Post a reply Close topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Urban Legends Reference Pages

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2