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Author Topic: Cat Dying
Lemon Demon
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Well, this is less of a rant, more of a cry for help. My youngest, 6, is very attached to our cat. we have had the cat since before he was born. his friends sometimes tease him about playing with the cat during playdates, but really he doesn't mind.

anyway, we just got the sad news that this cat has a tumor that is in her stomach, and to operate would cost more than we have.

I was wondering how I should break it to my son that this cat will not be around much longer.

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"Realizing that one could Time Travel within his own liftime, Dr. Sam Becket stepped into the Quantum leap accelerator...and Vanished."-Quantum Leap

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bthyb
WiFi Christmas


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First of all, I'm sorry for your cat and your family.

If you haven't talked to your son about death yet, I think this is the time - at a level appropriate for his age, of course. I don't have any experience with this sort of thing, but I'm sure more experienced heads than mine will chime in - but there are probably books in the library that could help you with this sort of thing.

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If you say you love ice cream, you better be dreaming of an orgy with Ben, Jerry, and one fine-ass chunky monkey.

-- My sister and poet extraordinaire, Joanna Hoffman

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vicious
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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My condolences regarding Kitty.

This is an excellent opportunity to explain death ( not fun but explaining with a cat is good practice ) Someday, inevitably, your son will have to face the loss of a loved one ....this will help.IMHO, it's better for him to be aware ahead of time that there is something wrong with Kitty.This will give him a bit of time to reflect on the fact that we are all just passing through. Maybe this sounds a bit deep for a kid, but I think they (kids) can handle a lot more than we sometimes think.

Good luck.

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lOoK aT yOuR SoCiAl ProBlEm.

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Kitten in the rain
Jingle Bell Hock


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Oh, that's so sad! [Frown] I'm so sorry your kitty cat is dying. That's terrible.

There's a book that I read in elementary school called, I think "Cat's Eyes" or something like that. It was about a cat who was about to die, and he was remembering his life fondly. Finally, in the end, he curled up and peacefully slipped away under a tree. It made me cry every time I read it. (I'm tearing up thinking of it now.)

But it was a very gentle and kind way to discuss and explain the death of a beloved animal.

Also, you might consider getting a new kitty (from a shelter, if possible!) once your son is ready. Let him be very involved in the selection process so that he can really feel like this is "his" cat. A new kitty to bond with and love will likely help to fill the hole in his heart left by the absence of his best friend.

The other thing to remember is that kids are resiliant. I remember when I was little, my mom's two cats died at around the same time. I'd loved those cats (my first word was "cat") all my life, but I don't remember being exceptionally distraught when they died.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go track down my Cordelia and my don Francisco and give them hugs.

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wanderwoman
Bluetooth Christmas


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So sorry about your kitty. [Frown]

However, it is a good opportunity to teach your child how to cope with death.

I second Kitten's endorsement of "Cat's Eyes", it's a wonderful book about life and death though I'm not sure how available it is. I also recommend "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" by Judith Viorst.

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"But I'm adding this to my reasons why I never really liked really good looking men much. Sheesh, what good is good looking if you have to stuff a sock in his mouth." - Sara at home
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bajacalla
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I am so sorry about your kitty. you may want to check out "The 10th Good Thing About Barney," by Judith Viorst, for your son. it's about a little boy whose cat dies and is asked to think of 10 good things to remember him for. he can only think of 9, until...

well, you'll just have to read it. it's a very tender way to deal with the death of a young child's pet.

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"pardon me, I swallowed down the wrong throat."

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Gale
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I also recommend "The 10th Good Thing About Barney".
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SilvorMoon
A View to a Krill


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There's a charming little animated series called Someday's Dreamers that has an episode near the end where a girl finds a dying kitten. She sits with it all night trying to help it, but in the end, it dies anyway. The girl feels terrible, thinking that the kitten was counting on her to save it and she let it down. Then she meets a friend of hers who tells her that he doesn't think the cat was angry with her - it was probably happy to know that it finished its life with someone who cared about it instead of having to be alone. I'm not sure I'd recommend the series to a small child (there's nothing particularly objectionable about it; it's just kind of slow moving and serious for a child's taste) but something of the sentiment might avail here.

On a more personal note, I'm sorry to hear about your cat. Having lived with cats all my life (and having lost one to similar circumstances) I feel your pain. I'm sure you'll take the best possible care of him, and that he'll be happy knowing he was loved, too.

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kingfan1978
Deck the Malls


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I'm so sorry to hear about your poor kitty. It's hard to lose a member of the family, even if it is a "fur-person" member of the family.

A couple of things that I learned when working with greiving children (at Erin's House in Fort Wayne, IN):

~ Try to use words like "dead" & "died", especially when dealing with smaller children. (If you say, "We lost kitty.", little one might be inclined to say, "Well, let's go find him!" Same with "he went to sleep"...."well, wake him up!") The words seem harsh to us but they generally make it much easier for a child to understand the finality of death.

~ Remember that all people (children included!) greive on their own timeline. There is no "right way" or "right length of time" for the child to greive.

Feel free to visit the Erin's House website for more tips on dealing with greiving children. This organization deals with children losing human loved ones but almost all of their key principles will still hold true with losing a family pet.

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"I reject your reality and substitue my own!" - Adam Savage, Mythbusters

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Sorry to hear about your kitty. I have another book recommendation: Cat Heaven. It's not to everyone's taste; some people might find it too whimsical, or not sufficiently reverent, but DD and I loved it.

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Jenn
Layaway in a Manger


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I'm very sorry about your kitty. It's hard to lose a loved pet; sometimes it's harder than losing our human loved ones.

quote:
Originally posted by kingfan1978:
~ Try to use words like "dead" & "died", especially when dealing with smaller children. (If you say, "We lost kitty.", little one might be inclined to say, "Well, let's go find him!" Same with "he went to sleep"...."well, wake him up!") The words seem harsh to us but they generally make it much easier for a child to understand the finality of death.

The other problem with phrases about sleeping or going away is that it make may the child fear sleep or fear people going away on trips. This will be tricky, however, if you're going to have the kitty euthanized. Try this page for some tips. I've passed that on to parents dealing with this before and they said it was helpful.

ETA: Here are some other links, too:

Explaining death to Kindergarten aged children
Other links specifically about pet loss

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"You're the opposite of troll. It's a compliment!"

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HappyHarry holiday
I Saw Three Shipments


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Damn i wish now i was back in the states just so i could hug my cat

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I wish i was eccentric so i could afford to be weird

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Elkhound
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I'm going to give Zane a big squeeze when I get home.

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"The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart."--Iris Murdoch

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Lemon Demon
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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well, Kitty died today. I am very saddened, and so is my son. but he is taking it well, and has said he would like a new kitten to take care of, and we will be going to the local shelter to look for one next week. thank you all for your support.

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"Realizing that one could Time Travel within his own liftime, Dr. Sam Becket stepped into the Quantum leap accelerator...and Vanished."-Quantum Leap

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HappyHarry holiday
I Saw Three Shipments


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Lemon Demon
Im very sorry to hear that.
Its good to know your son is willing to care for another furry friend soon

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I wish i was eccentric so i could afford to be weird

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