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Author Topic: (UPDATED) DO steal our idea!
Spikey
Jingle Bell Hock


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It's my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary this month. My family have planned a surprise for them - we're all going to my aunt's for the day, having a meal, celebration, etc.

My mum and aunt wanted to make a nice card for my grandparents, to celebrate their 50 years together. They thought it would be a nice idea to get a photo from my grandparents' wedding, and use that as the cover for the card. It would be difficult to get the photos off my grandparents without them guessing what was going on, so my mum suggested getting in touch with another of our relatives, let's call her Sue, who has copies of some of the photos.

Mum e-mails Sue, and tells her of her plan, and asks if she can scan some of the wedding photos that they have, and then e-mail them to my mum so she can get the card sorted. Sue soon e-mails back, saying (please note) she hadn't even realized it was their golden anniversary this year. She sends over some scanned pictures. My SO gets working on Photoshop, to clean up the scans (bear in mind these are 50 year old black and white photos!). My mum e-mails Sue, saying thanks, the pictures are brilliant, and she thinks there's one that we can use. This was all a few weeks ago.

Fast forward to this week - My mum saw my grandparents (her parents) two days ago when they popped over. They were all happy and gleaming about a lovely card that Sue had sent them, get this, with a big blown up picture of the very photo that we are using for *our* card! My mum has to bite her lip not to say anything.

So now we're going to look upstaged because Sue has already given my grandparents her card; ours isn't going to have quite the same effect now. Obviously we'll explain what has happened, but still. Sue knew what we were going to do, and she's blatantly stolen our idea. Plus, she hadn't even remembered it was their anniversary, and hadn't made any plans. So she just decided to copy us. On such a special, once in a lifetime event as well. And after my SO spent her free time carefully editing our photo to make it look as good as possible.

My mum is pretty upset, but she's not the kind of person to shout about it. I am, however. And when my aunt hears of it, she'll be livid. Might have to team up with my aunt and start a rampage!

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"The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie

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Jay Tea
The "Was on Sale" Song


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I wouldn't worry too much Spikey, sounded cheesy to me anyway [Wink]

One time, my brother, let's call him 'knobhead', not only stole my 'idea' for a present to my Mum, he actually stole the present itself off me as well! [lol]

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This is where I come up with something right? Something really clever...

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Hypno Toad
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
One time, my brother, let's call him 'knobhead'
[lol] YOMANK

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A Freudian slip occurs when you say one thing while thinking amother - Cliff Claven

Formally Random Dan

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Griffin at the Maul
Joyeux New Sale


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The easy solution is to use another photo. Even if you do not necessarily have time to clean it up as much as you would like to, I think the the GrandParents will understand, and love the thought. To them, it is the thought that counts, not the actual actions.

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Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?

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Aud
We Three Blings


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Can you get pictures of all their decendents as well. You could make an even cooler card that shows how everyone is related. Lord knows your grandparents would probably rather look at their grandbabies than images that remind them how old they are.
50 years. That's rocks. My grandparents made it to 50 something years but hadn't slept in the same room, or even the same floor of the house since my father was born.

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Para
Deck the Malls


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To heck with a card, Spikey! Go for the jugular! You've got a nice, cleaned up version of the image. Theirs probably still has scratches, fingerprints, and dust on it. Get yours blown up and printed at a nice shop and framed with a nice mat. That'll show 'em! Get UV-protective glass and your pic will look fabulous long after their copycat card has been light-faded into obscurity.

For that matter, you could check around for other favorite family photos and edit them together to make a big, nice collage. So what if they took your original idea. Make the original idea obsolete by doing something *better!*

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"But what of the golden spider-duck and the squat crimson pig?"

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Para, that's what I was thinking, only you said it so much better than I would have! Upstage the sneaky idea-thief.

Spikey, do your grandparents have a computer? You could make them a screen-saver slideshow.

Really, the possibilities are endless. T-shirts for the toddlers in the family. Photoshop the wedding photos with photos of family members from younger generations to highlight family resemblances. "Three generations of Spikey-Family Brides," etc. etc.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Hallmark stores carry a 50 years photo frame that you can put the wedding picture in and a current one. We got that for my inlaws and it was a big hit. Sort of a "Now and Then" thing.
I also put the two pictures together on a card with their names and dates and gave one to all the kids.

My stepmother has put together a DVD of pictures. She puts it in the DVD player and it does a slide show. That would be great, too.

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Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Barbara
Layaway in a Manger


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Do keep in mind in all the plotting re finding ways to upstage that miserable no-good hoon of an idea-thieving relative that the object remains helping the grandparents celebrate their 50th anniversary, a process not likely to be assisted by starting a family battle over a greeting card. While everybody taking sides and not speaking to one another would serve to make the occasion memorable, I suggest getting the grandparents a nice cake instead.

Barbara "vanilla" Mikkelson

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Seconded. And while you're at it, there are places that can ice your cake with a reproduction of the picture.

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"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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Para
Deck the Malls


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Maybe a bunch of scanned photos of the grandparents, their kids, and grandchildren placed on bright backgrounds and decorated with messages from family members? They could be made into a sort of scrapbook and put into a protective portfolio that could be kept for years! And if something should be spilled on a page, it's easy enough to print another out if you've got a backup of the files.

At my grandparents' 50th, a family photo was made and one family member had the image put onto a decorative plate that they presented to grandma and grandpa later. I don't know where they sent it, I'm afraid.

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"But what of the golden spider-duck and the squat crimson pig?"

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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My mom stole my favorite hymn, which I specifically requested be sung as the closing one should I die, for both my grandparents' funerals. The sad thing? I didn't praticularly care for either of them. And the hymn had no sentiments that either of them would have appreciated.

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There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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All I can think of to add is, be glad you're close enough as a family to be celebrating the occasion. It's been generations since any significant portion of my family has been able to stand each other enough to even try something like this. What your relative pulled was rotten, but don't let that take your mind off what really matters!

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Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl:
My mom stole my favorite hymn, which I specifically requested be sung as the closing one should I die, for both my grandparents' funerals...

Stole? How can you steal a hymn? Are they one use only articles?

I think this whole thread is about putting yourself first. Spikey is upset, but will her grandparents be? Why is it so important that Sue had forgotten until Spikey's mom reminded her? Even if SMom had specifically stated which photo they were going to use for the card, so that Sue can be shown to have deliberately sabotaged the surprise, I fail to see that anyone has been harmed. And Spikey's grandparents are happy.

Seaboe

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Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker:
Even if SMom had specifically stated which photo they were going to use for the card, so that Sue can be shown to have deliberately sabotaged the surprise, I fail to see that anyone has been harmed. And Spikey's grandparents are happy.

But they might be even happier if Spikey's parents come up with an even better present. And how will their doing so hurt Sue anymore than her actions hurt them?

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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shifty rob
Jingle Bell Hock


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I say go with comedy. Scan pictures of everyone in the family, but photoshop your grandmother's face on all the females (down to the little babies), and grandpa on all of the males. Do it as a slideshow. In this case, sloppy photoshop just adds to the comedy.

In my family, this would go over like pure gold.

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"They got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose" -Steely Dan

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
But they might be even happier if Spikey's parents come up with an even better present. And how will their doing so hurt Sue anymore than her actions hurt them?

Exactly. Rather than focusing on the hurt and "betrayal", focus on what to do to make her grandparents happy. Don't even consider Sue.

Seaboe

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Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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daisyslegs
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker:
quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
But they might be even happier if Spikey's parents come up with an even better present. And how will their doing so hurt Sue anymore than her actions hurt them?

Exactly. Rather than focusing on the hurt and "betrayal", focus on what to do to make her grandparents happy. Don't even consider Sue.

Seaboe

Because this IS rantidote. [Wink] You have to get it off your chest. And it was a sneaky underhanded thing to do. I do hope Sue is proud of herself. [Roll Eyes] I suggest you don't say anything other than "What a fabulous idea, what ever made you think of that? How clever..."

I like Jay Temple's suggestion - image on the cake: I've done it and it looks really great and is edible. Safeway is a local grocery store and their bakery does it. It literally is a reproduction of the photograph. [Smile]

ETA: You can improve that idea too if you can get a replica of their wedding cake top layer to put it on. [Big Grin]

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~tough as nails yet nice as pie~
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - and sometimes a scar.
"and don't threaten anyone with your pants today!" - Frog_Feathers
daisys does Myspace

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I think shifty rob as the right idea. I would even photoshop grandpa (or grandma)'s photo onto the backpack guy. You know the one whose picture survived the WTC??? [fish]

Grandma on Bo Derrick's 10 body.
or Sharon Stone, or Elvira...
Grandpa on Arnold's terminator body. Or Superman or Batman.

That would go over so well in my family. I just might steal the idea from Shift Rob for Grandma's birthday....

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Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Ben Who
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Jay Tea:
I wouldn't worry too much Spikey, sounded cheesy to me anyway [Wink]

One time, my brother, let's call him 'knobhead', not only stole my 'idea' for a present to my Mum, he actually stole the present itself off me as well! [lol]

Eh, my sister did something similar--stole a record or a game or some such off of me and gave it to Mum as a birthday present. Came as a bit of a shock when she unwrapped it with the whole family sitting there.

Love, Who?

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shifty rob
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by guruwan2b:
I think shifty rob as the right idea. I would even photoshop grandpa (or grandma)'s photo onto the backpack guy. You know the one whose picture survived the WTC??? [fish]

Grandma on Bo Derrick's 10 body.
or Sharon Stone, or Elvira...
Grandpa on Arnold's terminator body. Or Superman or Batman.

That would go over so well in my family. I just might steal the idea from Shift Rob for Grandma's birthday....

As long as you're not my cousin (or sister) in disguise, knock yourself out. But be warned- my parents are having their 50th next year, and if I see a slide show there from Guruwan2be, there's gonna be some cake flying!

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"They got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose" -Steely Dan

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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quote:
Originally posted by Seaboe Muffinchucker:
quote:
Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl:
My mom stole my favorite hymn, which I specifically requested be sung as the closing one should I die, for both my grandparents' funerals...

Stole? How can you steal a hymn? Are they one use only articles?

"Stole" as in "a hymn in a hymnal that Grandma and Grandpa didn't have and wouldn't have agreed with."

I should have said she stole the idea to use the hymn "Let all things now living" (my favorite from the LBW) as a closing hymn to my funeral and applied it to both of my grandparents' funerals. In a very petty way, anyone who was a those funerals and then mine (I know remote chance) would get the impression that I used the hymn as some sort of continuity with theirs.

Since my religious ideals (even when I was a Christian) and those of my grandparents were miles apart, they had no respect for mine, and I was as far as I could tell, the least favorite (or at least, least noticed) of their grandchildren, I felt it a huge theft.

It's a whole big messy family dynamic thing. It was discussed extensively in therapy. Nonetheless I am still mighty pissed.

Especially when it was not used at my favorite aunt's funeral (even though she liked it and mom was arranging that too) because Mom figured that Ruth would object because it had been played at my grandfather's.

Relations in that side of the family are fraught, I tell you, fraught.

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There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Radical Dory
God Rest Ye Merry Retail Clerks


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TurquioseGirl, I wouldn't worry too much about people connecting your funeral to theirs. With no disrespect to my dead loved ones, I don't really remember any of the songs that have played at their funerals because I was distracted with grief, with the exception of my grandfather's, where we sang Christmas and Easter hymns...they were his favorites, but it's pretty weird to sing them in July. Plus, remember that most folks tend focus on the deceased at their service.

However, if you overhear anyone make that bad connection, I suggest you rise from the coffin and kick them in the butt. [Smile]

Spikey, congratulations on your grandparents' anniversary. Celebrate the fact that they have done something rare and special, and don't focus on the bad stuff that has happened.

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"But about the reindeer...what kind of a nose shines? How did he get it? Maybe it's not a reindeer after all. It could be something else."

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Barbara
Layaway in a Manger


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TG, you say you've hacked at this in therapy, and while I'm tempted to tell you it won't matter what gets played at your funeral because you won't be there to hear it, perhaps indulging in a bit of revenge fantasy might be a better way to help you lay this to rest.

Go here and get some ideas. Work out the musical programme for your mother's funeral, lavishing particular attention on the final song. Me, I would recommend "The Hokey Pokey," but your tastes (and desire to get even) may run to "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?" or "Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life."

Barbara "music as vengeance, I say" Mikkelson

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I have requested that "Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead" be played at my funeral, along with "Trees" by Mario Lanza.

For my aunt's and uncle's 50th, my cousin's secretary scanned old photos of various family members and made a quilt using those images. My aunt hung the quilt on a wall, where it has been for 12 years. We all still enjoy looking at it every time we go in that room.

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"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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glisp42
I'm Dreaming Of A White iPod


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How about "Are you drinking with me Jesus.
Lyrics

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What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK" and other lingo mean?

And we'll collect the moments one by one I guess that's how the future's done. -Feist

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Spikey
Jingle Bell Hock


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Well guys and girls, thanks for all your responses! 25 in less than a day! [Big Grin]

I agree with most of what's been said here. I have to try and remember what's important - making sure my grandparents have a really good day. I'll put any family squabbles aside and just make sure my grandparents enjoy themselves.

The suggestions for extra things to do have been excellent! It was great to hear of lots of people doing similar things. The only problem with this all (and this was partly what made me frsutrated) is that the event is tomorrow. And we only found out about this 'stealing' thing on Wednesday, leaving my mum hardly any time to get anything sorted. However, there's nothing to stop us doing something a little bit extra for them in the next couple of days, weeks, etc. There's things I can do really easily (like the screensaver/DVD slideshow), and things that will take a little more time to arrange (like the lovely ideas of fancy frames with differing wedding photos, or collages of our family, past and present).

Plus (hopefully), you're right about our card being nicer. My SO spent a good amount of time and worked really hard on cleaning up the image, plus it is being printed by my uncle, who works for a printing company; so hopefully it will be of a high standard, more so than Sue's rushed, amateur attempt. Sue is not going to be there tomorrow either, so there won't be any 'incidents' or anything that might spoil my grandparents' day.

The event's tomorrow, so I'll let you all know how things go down! [Smile]

P.S. I seem to have morphed into a girl about halfway down this thread... not that I mind [lol]

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"The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie

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Cold DecEmbra Brings The Sleet
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I hope the party goes well, Spikey.

Scanned photos are a modern marvel as far as I'm concerned. Last weekend was my mum's 60th birthday and Mr Embra did her a lovely print of a photo of her aged about 4, printed onto canvas and stretched nicely on a frame.

In fact most people we know have at least one canvas print photo... not that Mr E is unimaginative when it comes to birthdays or anything... [Wink]

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I want you to lay down your life, Perkins. We need a futile gesture at this stage. It will raise the whole tone of the war.

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Spikey,

if you want a fabulous present that is guarenteed to impress, the coolest thing I ever saw was what a friend of mine did for her parent's anniversary. (think it was 35th) She's an artist, and a cool one, so of course it came out fabulous, but lots of folks could do this well.

She made a scrapbook for them, and what she did was she got a hold of old friends of theirs (a couple they used to play bridge with as newleyweds, etc) and all the grandkids and siblings and etc and got them to write letters for the scrapbook, and also got copies of THEIR photos and any old letters and such hanging around. It was really an amazing and wonderful collection of documents and photos.

Now this friend started working on this a full year ahead of time but maybe it might give you some ideas for the next time...

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"Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit

(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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snapdragonfly, that's what my cousin just did for my Uncle's 90th birthday (June 2). Family members all went through old photos and wrote letters about favorite memories. E-mail made it a lot easier! We sent photos and she printed them. Didn't have to worry about precious photos getting lost in the mail. Most of us mailed our letters, though, even though she offered to print e-mails and include them. We wanted to sign them! I spoke to him and could tell he was thrilled with the book.

I do wish we had all been able to get together, though. It's a shame that families are scattered all over the country/world these days.

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"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
happyholidaysfrog
Jingle Bell Hock


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Snapdragonfly I love the scrapbooks with all the memories in them. My family has did one for my grandparents 50th aniversery (they are on thier 63rd year right now!) and I made a page for one for my other grandmother this year for her birthday. It makes a really wonderful gift.

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~All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream~
E.A.Poe

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
~James Dean~

Posts: 516 | From: Anderson, Indiana | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Spikey
Jingle Bell Hock


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Update:

Yesterday was the event, and it was a really nice day. We got to my aunt's before my grandparents, so there was plenty of time to vent our frustrations about Sue before they got there.

I presented the card to my grandparents, with a little speech (the card was actually detailling a trip that my family bought for my grandparents, to stay in a nice London hotel and go to a stage show). My nan had a little tear in her eye as she read it. Awwww! [Big Grin]

She did (obviously) comment on the card having the same picture, but she said that ours was a much better quality than Sue's (thanks to my SO!), so that was nice. My dad then explained what had happened, but we didn't dwell on it and we all had a great time.

As for some of the ideas, it's my other grandparents' golden anniversary in a year or two, so I'll have plenty more ideas for them!

~ 'Happy Ending' Spikey

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"The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie

Posts: 548 | From: England | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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