posted
Around 1:00 pm today I get a knock at my door. In my neighborhood nine times out of ten that means a Jehovah's Witness, so I was slow to answer, really hoping they'd just go away. After the second knock it got quiet, so I'd thought they'd gone. I was wrong, fifteen seconds later it sounded like they were trying to break the door down. I went to the window and saw a kid of about thirteen.
I opened the door and said, "hey, what's up?" He said, "Do you mind if I mow your lawn?" I didn't want him to. I am not obsessed with my lawn like my next-door neighbor who is out there every single day either mowing or watering or sprinkling something on his lawn, but I like to do it myself, so I said, verbatim and with a smile, "no thanks, that's all right, I do it myself." Not to mention I just mowed 3 days ago and it won't need it for another 2 at least.
Then the kid does that suck-click noise thing with his teeth (I don't know how to describe it but you know what I mean) and turns around. Before he is down the steps he mumbles either, "****," or, "****er," I couldn't tell which, and keeps walking. I say, "excuse me?" and he waves his hand at me dismissively and says, "whatever."
I just stared in disbelief and then shut the door. I am glad he was born when he was, because I am almost thirty now, and have settled down a bit. Five years ago I would have followed him down the driveway and put my foot in his ass, probably getting myself thrown in jail.
I am sorry for the long rant, but I used to go door to door selling candy for Cub Scouts when I was a child, and I faced each homeowner with a mixture of humility and respect. I never would have dreamed of acting like that. Mostly because if it got back to my dad I would be in serious discomfort for a few days.
Anyway, thanks for listening to what is probably the first, "kids were different in my day," rant of a near thirty year old.
ETA: I am new and don't really know how the censoring thing works. The asterisks are for the F-word, and the F-word-er.
Posts: 154 | From: NewCastle, DE | Registered: Apr 2006
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I agree. Some of them seem to have never heard of manners. I wouldn't have gotten away with half the stuff they do. But, unfortunately it's a different world.
Posts: 19 | From: Key Largo, FL | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Oh, my goodness! If you youngsters are complaining, it must be worse than I thought! I, too, have noticed a definite lack of manners displayed by many of today's children. You know of course, that this will probably start a string of "it's no worse today" posts, so I'm only speaking from personal experience. Didn't say all children were less mannerly today.
DougW, the F-word used to run rampant here, but snopes put a filter on the site because snopes.com was being blocked from access by certain other sites. If you use an objectionable word, now, the ***s are automatically substituted. So far I think it's just for f***, but I might be mistaken.
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I'm with you guys. I can't believe how some kids act and how many parents let them get away with it! We live with my mother-in-law and she lets my brother-in-law get away with murder. Well, not literally, yet. But seriously, he is so freaking rude to her and she just laughs it off and says he's kidding. Um....he's not. He actually is getting better but it was so bad. I don't get it. I have two munchkins and they don't talk yet but there is no way I will ever let either of them talk to me or anyone else like that. Last summer I babysat some kids who would boss around their parents and one of the kids would even hit his dad if he got mad and they did nothing! They learned pretty quick that they couldn't get away with any of that with me. Okay, sorry. I'm rambling now but this is something that bothers me too.
Posts: 59 | From: Nampa, ID | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
I Skateboard, and enjoy going to the skate park every once in a while. If you are looking for rude youngsters, visit your local skate park. in my day, every body helped each other at the park, if you fell, they helped you up, ect., but today, some kid runs into me and instead of offering any kind of "i'm sorry" he rides off, muttering swear words under his breath and flipping me off. kids these days, indeed.
-------------------- "Realizing that one could Time Travel within his own liftime, Dr. Sam Becket stepped into the Quantum leap accelerator...and Vanished."-Quantum Leap Posts: 44 | From: Cameron Park, CA | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
I once drove through a carpark where a group of 6/7 early-teenagers stopped in the middle of the road. Most people avoided them by driving down the side ways . However the only path for me was out through them.
SO SLOWLY AND STEADILY i ADVANCED TOWARDS THEM. After the first couple of yards , only one remained. I carried on advancing at less tha 5 mph, smiling all the time. The closer I got ....the bigger the grin.
When I was within 6 yards he broke for safety calling me many names. I replied " At least I'm not a chicken" and drove off fast.
Chicken ...no...stupid.. no..Big car yes.
ETA I would have stopped before hitting ...Honest
-------------------- Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I once had a skater walking with his skateboard in front of my truck. He turned around and gestured for me to hit him. Sort of a "C'mon!"
I briefly considered that telling the judge that I honestly believed he wanted me to run him down because he invited me to do so would be a legitimate defense.
Alas, I didn't. I did zoom up to him and honk. I got the satisfaction of knowing that he needed clean underwear. (I swear I saw a spot form).
Posts: 16 | From: South Carolina | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Yeah kids these days... (says the guy who will turn 20 in Nov [Gah! 20, oh man, how did that happen?!])
Well, I pride myself on proper manners. I mean, it's not hard, so I have no idea why so many people refuse to show them.
Last year when I worked at Tim Horton's, my supervisors told me that the difference between my predecessor and myself was night and day. They said that they didn't think that there were many like myself with a good work ethic out there.
While on the topic of work- I'm working for Walmart this summer, and I have a behaviour to complain about: As I call it, shopleaving. Now, I'm not talking about people who leave merchandise that they no longer want on any old shelf, that's not really a problem. My beef is with people who leave garbage on my shelves. Empty McDonalds and Timmy's cups, slurpee cups, food garbage. It's like "C'mon, can't you carry the empty cup just a little further to the garbage."
Bah, this sort of turned into a rant. Gah, 'tis thundering here. Compy should be shut down. Peace out for now.
-------------------- The Answer is 42 Posts: 36 | From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
My kids went through elementary school all the way with the same group. It was a smallish school so they were all grouped together as they each went onto the next grade. And of course, the same kids grouped together.
I've been cussed out by third graders. All those kids are going into 8th grade next year with my daughter. I'm just glad at the middle school they were able to separate them for the most part.
Nazmazh, I hate that too- I don't even work for a store and it bugs me when people leave stuff on shelves- especially when its a cold food product.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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posted
I have to agree that kids seem ruder today than I would ever have dreamed of being to an adult when I was a kid (ok that sentence got twisty). The thing is it is our (35-55 year olds) fault. They're our kids! It seems that the post baby boomers aren't doing such a good job of teaching manners.
-------------------- 'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite Posts: 950 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Gaaaarh, yes. I swear, every day I see kids who need to thank whatever deity they believe in that they're not mine. Butts would be paddled, and mouths would be slapped/washed out with soap.
Magdalene
-------------------- "Don't mess with me. I dance with swords." Posts: 1656 | From: Colorado | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote:Originally posted by DougW: I am sorry for the long rant, but I used to go door to door selling candy for Cub Scouts when I was a child, and I faced each homeowner with a mixture of humility and respect. I never would have dreamed of acting like that. Mostly because if it got back to my dad I would be in serious discomfort for a few days.
I think that's the problem right there. I think the kids know that what they do won't ever get back to their parents because the people they're being rude to have no idea who they are or who their parents are. Furthermore, they know that even if their parents did find out they wouldn't be punished in a lot of cases.
Posts: 716 | From: San Antonio, TX | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
My stepfather used to be a truant officer in our county. You would not believe the crap he saw kids do to their parents when he made home visits-- things my mother would have washed my brain out with soap for even THINKING about. These kids were my age, or a little younger.
-------------------- "Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com Posts: 2037 | From: Reston, VA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
About 15 years ago my then-husband and I were visiting one of his slacker friends. The friend's mom had come up for a visit. After she cleaned his apartment and did his laundry, she took him grocery shopping -- her treat. They were unloading the groceries, and had to take some of the frozen stuff out of the outer packaging to fit it into his tiny freezer. So as he's pulling the stuff out of the boxes, he throws them in his mother's general direction, and she picks them up off the floor and throws them away. At one point, he throws one of the empty boxes at his mother's head -- and hits her with it!. He thought this was extremely funny, and she didn't object to any of it.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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DougW, the F-word used to run rampant here, but snopes put a filter on the site because snopes.com was being blocked from access by certain other sites. If you use an objectionable word, now, the ***s are automatically substituted. So far I think it's just for f***, but I might be mistaken.
OT but - Oh dear. When I let rip with the bad language around here I always asterisk my bad words. How embarassing to think that others might have thought "tsk, Snopes have had their work cut out asterisking THAT poster!"
Think I'll live to **** another day though Posts: 1157 | From: Westcountry UK "It's Bootiful" | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis: I have to agree that kids seem ruder today than I would ever have dreamed of being to an adult when I was a kid (ok that sentence got twisty). The thing is it is our (35-55 year olds) fault. They're our kids! It seems that the post baby boomers aren't doing such a good job of teaching manners.
Interesting. In another thread I was decidedly in the minority because I teach my child to say Miss A or Mrs. B or Mr. C instead of calling adults by their first names. When I ask her to do something, she says "Yes Mommy" or "Yes Ma'am." I am apparently considered old-fashioned and overly-strict because of this. And yet, when she plays at another child's house she comes home showered with praise for her good manners and respectful attitude toward adults. "However did you teach her to ask to be excused before leaving the table?!?"
Four Kitties
-------------------- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Posts: 13275 | From: Kindergarten World, Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
Something I have noticed 9ish - 13ish year olds indulging in (I'm 32 btw) that annoys me. more than once I've been shopping or some such, and a part of my bag, arm or clothing has brushed against the younger person in a queue or doorway or something, and they've behaved as though I've deliberately beaten them.
For example yesterday, I was in a soft play area with my daughter aged 3 and niece aged 10 months. My sister was trying to pass my cute little floppy niece to me through a small round doorway into the ball pool. It was a tricky operation but this 11-year-oldish boy insisted on sitting in the doorway the whole time. The only way I could manage it was to kneel in the doorway and horror of horrors, my elbow touched (and I do mean touched) the boy's upper arm. He fell into the ball pool clutching his arm and wailing "OWWWWWW!!!"
I said, "Oh dear! What happened there? Did I accidentally touch your arm very gently?" He looked a bit crestfallen at that.
Posts: 1157 | From: Westcountry UK "It's Bootiful" | Registered: Jul 2005
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Mr. Furious
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Neffti see you, to see you, Neff: The only way I could manage it was to kneel in the doorway and horror of horrors, my elbow touched (and I do mean touched) the boy's upper arm. He fell into the ball pool clutching his arm and wailing "OWWWWWW!!!"
quote:Originally posted by Neffti see you, to see you, Neff: The only way I could manage it was to kneel in the doorway and horror of horrors, my elbow touched (and I do mean touched) the boy's upper arm. He fell into the ball pool clutching his arm and wailing "OWWWWWW!!!"
posted
I hear you! I posted a rant about the rude kids who play at the four way stop near my house who stop and glare at the cars before they move just far enough aside for the cars to pass.
It's not as bad as the kid described by queen of the caramels (they've never cussed at me), but it's still really rude and dangerous to boot.
As for the politeness of addressing adults as Mr/Mrs/Ms, it's only polite if the adult is comfortable being called that. I have had coversations with people who insisted their child call people Mr/Mrs out of "respect" when the person being addressed hates being called addressed in that manner. It's not polite or respectful IMO to insist that a person be addressed in a way they dislike, that is no longer being respectful. When I have children I will teach them they must always start out calling adults Mr/Mrs/Ms but if the adult says "I don't like being called that, Call me this instead" that they must respect the adults wishes and call them what they ask to be called.
-------------------- ~All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream~ E.A.Poe
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean~ Posts: 516 | From: Anderson, Indiana | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis: I have to agree that kids seem ruder today than I would ever have dreamed of being to an adult when I was a kid (ok that sentence got twisty). The thing is it is our (35-55 year olds) fault. They're our kids! It seems that the post baby boomers aren't doing such a good job of teaching manners.
Interesting. In another thread I was decidedly in the minority because I teach my child to say Miss A or Mrs. B or Mr. C instead of calling adults by their first names. When I ask her to do something, she says "Yes Mommy" or "Yes Ma'am." I am apparently considered old-fashioned and overly-strict because of this. And yet, when she plays at another child's house she comes home showered with praise for her good manners and respectful attitude toward adults. "However did you teach her to ask to be excused before leaving the table?!?"
Four Kitties
Wish I'd seen this thread. I have a hard time telling my son to call his friend's parents Mr or Mrs such and such, or even Miss, Mrs or Mr "First Name" when these very same people are telling him to call them by thier first name. I don't personally like being called "Sue" by a nine year, which to me implies that they are my peer, or at least my friend.
Posts: 1596 | From: Illinois | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis: I have to agree that kids seem ruder today than I would ever have dreamed of being to an adult when I was a kid (ok that sentence got twisty). The thing is it is our (35-55 year olds) fault. They're our kids! It seems that the post baby boomers aren't doing such a good job of teaching manners.
Interesting. In another thread I was decidedly in the minority because I teach my child to say Miss A or Mrs. B or Mr. C instead of calling adults by their first names. When I ask her to do something, she says "Yes Mommy" or "Yes Ma'am." I am apparently considered old-fashioned and overly-strict because of this. And yet, when she plays at another child's house she comes home showered with praise for her good manners and respectful attitude toward adults. "However did you teach her to ask to be excused before leaving the table?!?"
Four Kitties
I tried that with my kids- with adult friends' first names: Miss Kathy, Mister Tom; because that was how I was raised. I was pregnant with my second child when we went to visit some people I hadn't seen since I was 12 and I called her Miss Grace the entire time.
But, my kids- it didn't "stick" because the other kids' parents kept telling them to stop. But I get the praise thing too. "Jase actually took his plate to the sink after we ate dinner!" and that sort of thing.
And "please", "thank you" and "excuse me"... I've always tried to drill that into my kids' brains.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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posted
I think the first name thing is something that adults have imposed upon other peoples kids not something that comes from the parents. My kids know to assume Mr/Ms. They also know how to introduce someone so that it's clear how they wish to be addressed.
Oddly enough I don't like being addressed as either Mr or by my first name. Most of the students at the school call me Captain Jack, though nobody remembers where that name originated from.
posted
My daughter's classmates often called me "Mrs. [DD's Firstname]'s Mom," which I thought was charming. Either they weren't sure of DD's last name or they knew hers and mine are different.
I taught DD to say "Please," "thank you," etc. as soon as she was capable of saying a recognizable approximation of the words. At that point, it didn't matter if she understood what she was saying, or why: she learned that over time. What mattered was getting her in the habit.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Sue Bee: I have a hard time telling my son to call his friend's parents Mr or Mrs such and such, or even Miss, Mrs or Mr "First Name" when these very same people are telling him to call them by thier first name.
My parents made it very clear to me that calling an adult by his or her first name was not an option. It did not matter to them whether the adult had invited me to. I was not to do it. Guess how I found this out?
quote:I don't personally like being called "Sue" by a nine year old.
Then don't respond to it. Seriously. I've long noticed that if you don't want to be called something (whether your first name or a nickname), not responding is a very good way to discourage the unwanted behaviour.
Seaboe
-------------------- Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me Posts: 5562 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2005
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I don't personally like being called "Sue" by a nine year old.
Then don't respond to it. Seriously. I've long noticed that if you don't want to be called something (whether your first name or a nickname), not responding is a very good way to discourage the unwanted behaviour.
Seaboe
That may work with an adult or even an astute 9YO, but for the rest, they end up tugging on an elbow or patting my arm or some such... One can't take the subtle approach with most kids, or they touch you with a grime covered hand.
I always tell them that they may call me Miss Sue or Miss B.
Posts: 1596 | From: Illinois | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Sue Bee, what's wrong with telling your kid/s to respect what people want to be called, but always start out with Mr/Mrs? It doesn't seem a hard concept, you call people what they wish to be called. Just like you have the right not like kids to call you by your first name and to say "call me Miss Sue or Miss B please" they should have the right to NOT like to be called Mr/Mrs Whatever and to tell the person addressing them (child or adult) to call them by what they wish to go by.
I don't see why it should be confusing for a child to understand that.
-------------------- ~All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream~ E.A.Poe
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. ~James Dean~ Posts: 516 | From: Anderson, Indiana | Registered: Oct 2005
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I don't personally like being called "Sue" by a nine year old.
Then don't respond to it. Seriously. I've long noticed that if you don't want to be called something (whether your first name or a nickname), not responding is a very good way to discourage the unwanted behaviour.
Seaboe
That may work with an adult or even an astute 9YO, but for the rest, they end up tugging on an elbow or patting my arm or some such... One can't take the subtle approach with most kids, or they touch you with a grime covered hand.
I always tell them that they may call me Miss Sue or Miss B.
I haven't found subtlety effective with adults. I hate being called Jim, James is one freaking syllable long, none of my family or friends has ever called me Jim, so Jim ain't my name. Nonetheless, I can't get acquaintances to stop. I introduce myself as James, ignore people calling me Jim, and even correct them occasionally, but they persist.
PS I agree I hate it when 9 year olds call me Sue as well.
-------------------- 'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite Posts: 950 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
What if they call you Bill, or George, or anything but Sue?
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
quote:Originally posted by Lainie: What if they call you Bill, or George, or anything but Sue?
Do you have Presidents on your mind by any chance?
No, silly, Johnny Cash!
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
It is not difficult to teach a child to say please, thank you, and all the rest of that. The key is to say it to your child. If you use good manners talking to your child, they will model them. We have video of DD at her 1st birthday trying to wheedle some root beer out of my dad by saying "Pease, drink? Pease?" (l's left out deliberately). It's the cutest thing and my dad about died laughing. The reality of the situtation is that far too many parents don't care or are not very polite themselves.
DD calls adults by whatever name she is introduced to them with. Most of DH and my friends she either calls Miss or Mr X or Aunt or Uncle Y because that's what they like. People who prefer last names get last names. It's all about how the parents handle it.
Lainie: Lots of DD's school friends call me "Mrs. Megan's Mom", too. Although there are a few that just call me "Mom". Not sure how their mothers feel about it, but it doesn't bother me.
-------------------- Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of -- but do it in private, and wash your hands afterwards.
- Lazarus Long Posts: 300 | From: Waldorf, MD | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Lainie: What if they call you Bill, or George, or anything but Sue?
YOMANK, Lainie!
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by happyfrog: Sue Bee, what's wrong with telling your kid/s to respect what people want to be called, but always start out with Mr/Mrs? It doesn't seem a hard concept, you call people what they wish to be called. Just like you have the right not like kids to call you by your first name and to say "call me Miss Sue or Miss B please" they should have the right to NOT like to be called Mr/Mrs Whatever and to tell the person addressing them (child or adult) to call them by what they wish to go by.
I don't see why it should be confusing for a child to understand that.
For one thing, he's my kid, and I want him to clearly understand that there is a dichotomy between adults and children (and I have an old fashioned notion that by calling an adult Sir, Ma'am, Miss, Mr, Mrs, it reinforces that a child is not the peer of an adult- and hopefully reminds the adult to also act like an adult), and for another, I think it is disrespectful for children to call adults by a familiar and I want for those adults to respect our wishes in regards to how my husband and I raise our child. I tell you, it's the downfall of polite society. Next thing you know, people will be wearing flip flops to meet the president.
Posts: 1596 | From: Illinois | Registered: Sep 2002
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unfortunately it's a different world.
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Yes quite possibly!
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That may work with an adult or even an astute 9YO, but for the rest, they end up tugging on an elbow or patting my arm or some such... One can't take the subtle approach with most kids, or they touch you with a grime covered hand.![[fish]](graemlins/fish.gif)
