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Author Topic: What was SIL thinking?
LyndaD
Jingle Bell Hock


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This may come out a bit long, but it requires some background info to make sense. Feel free to skim.

This year, DS2, a niece and a nephew are all graduating from 8th grade in different, but close towns. My MIL thinks this is reaaly neat and suggested having a pool party/BBQ at her house for the graduates. This was to be organized and implemented by the parents of the graduates, with MIL providing the pool, grill and a bathroom.
Two weeks ago, MIL ends up in the hospital with pnuemonia, bronchitis, Congestive Heart Failure, and CPAP. After what the Dr. terms a miraculous turn-around, MIL was allowed to come home on Friday. She is getting stronger every day, and using her oxygen less and less. DH and I asked her about the party and BBQ, and she said to go ahead and do it, she just wouldn't be able to participate, but she didn't want to disappoint her grandchildren.
Okay, now for the rant:

DH's sister told the other SIL that MIL was too sick and did not want us to do the party. She then told MIL (which is her mother, just to be clear) that DH and I, and other SIL & BIL (DH's brother) were 'too tired' to do the party.
When I talked with SIL, she mentioned nothing to me, expecting other SIL to tell me.
Got that?
So last night MIL calls me and ask if other SIL has talked to me about not having the party. I'm totally unaware, so MIL fills me in on SIL's manipulations and lies.
Now, SIL is not speaking to me and will not participate in party. MIL is mad at SIL for trying to cancel her graduation party for her grandkids. We're supposed to go to SIL's daughter's graduation tomorrow night, but I don't really want to have to make nice small talk with SIL when she is sabatoging things and putting words in my mouth.
Needless to say, it could prove to be an interesting evening.
I understand SIL's concerns about her mother. But MIL's doctor has said she can do what she feels up to doing. Incidentally, MIL will be at the graduation tomorrow night. SIL has not objected to that since its her daughter graduating. SIL also called other SIL's son and asked him to go to her daughter's graduation instead of his stepsister's, who is graduating at the same time from a different school.
I think if MIL wants to provide a place for her grandkids to celebrate, why should this one SIL stop her? if she has concerns she could talk with us about them. Then we could have reassured her that her mother was not doing anything for the BBQ, that we would not even be in the house, that she was free to stay in bed, sleep, play cards, whatever she wants to do. We are doing what MIL wants: helping her give her grandkids a graduation party.
So there, SIL, take that.

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I'll drive it ugly. You can't see the paint job when you're behind the wheel, anyway.

Posts: 570 | From: Central Valley, California | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
edu-macated
Deck the Malls


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Ahhhh, family. So much fun.

Good luck Lynda, and hope you have a great celebration for the kids.

I'm sure your MIL will enjoy them too.

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There is no sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

Posts: 379 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Kitten in the rain
Jingle Bell Hock


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I know SIL's behavior towards you and towards her mother was inexcusable, but I would urge understanding. Remember, a very short time ago, she was thinking that she was going to lose her mother. I think that would make anyone act a little (or a lot) crazy for a while.
Posts: 533 | From: Davis, CA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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At least MIL recognized the manipulation and responded rationally instead of being taken in or turning on you. Seems you're one step ahead of a lot of other posters who talk about their in laws.

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Officially Heartless

Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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