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Author Topic: A realization about the Darwin Awards...
N11/N12
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I realized something a little while ago. It's dark but it made me chuckle...

These are the five necessary qualifications to recieve a Darwin Award, as dictated by Wendy Northcutt:

1.Nominee must be killed or sterilized.
2.Astounding misapplication of judgment.
3.Cause of one's own demise.
4.Capable of sound judgment.
5.The event must be verified.

Therefore, I figure that if Wendy Northcutt, who has written several books and, for the most part, gives the awards themselves, was murdered by a family member of a Darwin Award recipient, then she herself would qualify for one.

She is bound to piss off the wrong person eventually (3), and she should be aware of that (4), but she does it anyway (2).

Thoughts, anyone?

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"I'm going to start slapping you now and I may never stop."
-Dr. Forrester

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Miles Invictus
Deck the Malls


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I have to disagree. The very concept of murder indicates that the killer bears the responsibility, not the victim (eliminating #3). Furthermore, most people do not slay total strangers over their fallen kin's honor, meaning there is little reason to factor it into one's thinking (eliminating #2).
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Ganzfeld
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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The "Darwin" Awards are so foolish to begin with that you don't really need to oppose their pretentious "qualifications". Such stupidity as the authors have shown is its own reward and no imagined murders are necessary.
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Dara bhur gCara
As Shepherds Watched Their Flocks Buy Now Pay Later


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Quite apart from the fact that celebrating the death of other human beings, no matter how stupid, is utterly contemptible, of course.

Don't get me started on the Darwin awards. I consider them about as morally acceptable as eugenics.

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This wrinkle in time, I can't give it no credit, I thought about my space and it really got me down.
Got me so down, I got me a headache, My heart is crammed in my cranium and it still knows how to pound


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F minor
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I read a bit of one of those books once. Chirpy little story about a woman who inadvertantly runs over her own son. He dies.

I laughed.

Wait, no I didn't.

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Miles Invictus:
I have to disagree. The very concept of murder indicates that the killer bears the responsibility, not the victim (eliminating #3).

I don't know about that. I think that it is entirely possible to provoke a murder. If you disbeleive me, walk through Harlem wearing a KKK robe. In my example, the victim would certainly bear some responsibilty as the response of those who see him will be entirely predictable to anyone capable of sound judement (criteria #4). In other words, if our victim meets criteria #4, he will default meet criteria #3. His murderers will share responsibilty, but their reactions were a predictable result of the victim's actions.


In this case, however, I agree that her being murdered by an angry relative would not qualify as meeting #3 and possible would not meet #2 (who can predict that listing a news story will provoke a murderous respose?)

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ULTRAGLORIA
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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F minor -

I doubt that story was in one of the Darwin books as a Darwin award, since it doesn't meet the criteria for a Darwin.

To win a Darwin Award, you must do the damage to yourself after you are an adult. Running over one's son would not qualify for a Darwin award.

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A Lie can run around the world before the Truth can get its boots on. - Terry Pratchett

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N11/N12
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by Miles Invictus:
The very concept of murder indicates that the killer bears the responsibility, not the victim (eliminating #3).

One Darwin Award winner was a woman who was killed by her violent, abusive husband after bailing him out of jail, who was in jail for beating her in the first place. I can't recall any names, but if she was considered responsible for her own death, than Northcutt would qualify too.

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"I'm going to start slapping you now and I may never stop."
-Dr. Forrester

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Kal
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by N11/N12:
quote:
Originally posted by Miles Invictus:
The very concept of murder indicates that the killer bears the responsibility, not the victim (eliminating #3).

One Darwin Award winner was a woman who was killed by her violent, abusive husband after bailing him out of jail, who was in jail for beating her in the first place. I can't recall any names, but if she was considered responsible for her own death, than Northcutt would qualify too.
I read the darwin awards, they appeal to my sense of humour, and don't remember any story like that being one. Possibly you're thinking of those emails that sometimes get sent around of random darwin awards. I even checked the site and the search engine can't find it.
I don't think the author would qualify though, since you'd not expect a relative to have such an extreme reaction.
I do remember a story about someone running their son over though. It was an old lady whose son got her to retake her driving test as he felt she was unsafe in a car. He then stood behind the car, between it and a brick wall, she shifted into reverse (proving him right btw) and crashed through him and into the wall, injuring herself and the examiner, and killing her son. Therefore the award went to him, for knowing his mother was unsafe, then placing himself in an unsafe position despite this.

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Do the weetabix ask such questions? I think not!

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Silas Sparkhammer
I Saw V-Chips Come Sailing In


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quote:
Originally posted by Dara bhur gCara:
Quite apart from the fact that celebrating the death of other human beings, no matter how stupid, is utterly contemptible, of course.



I don't think we "celebrate" people's deaths. I think, instead, we find "gallows humor" in the actions that people perform that are obviously stupid.

The guy who uses a match to look inside a can of gasoline: I don't celebrate the third-degree burns over his face, but I do say, "Yow! What a dolt!" And, yes, I tell the story to others in a way as to elicit a pained grin.

quote:

Don't get me started on the Darwin awards. I consider them about as morally acceptable as eugenics.

Not all eugenic choices are bad ones. A very dear friend of mine had an eugenic abortion when the fetus was shown to have a very high likelihood of a heritable disease. (She had watched her brother die horribly of that disease.)

Forced eugenics is hard to distinguish from Nazism. But there *are* disease-causing genes out there which it would be well to try to eliminate.

Silas

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Stoneage Dinosaur
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Kal:
quote:
Originally posted by N11/N12:
quote:
Originally posted by Miles Invictus:
The very concept of murder indicates that the killer bears the responsibility, not the victim (eliminating #3).

One Darwin Award winner was a woman who was killed by her violent, abusive husband after bailing him out of jail, who was in jail for beating her in the first place. I can't recall any names, but if she was considered responsible for her own death, than Northcutt would qualify too.
I read the darwin awards, they appeal to my sense of humour, and don't remember any story like that being one. Possibly you're thinking of those emails that sometimes get sent around of random darwin awards.
Justice is Served sounds like it, but the award was for the husband killing himself.

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"You learn something new every day if you're not careful" - Wilf Lunn

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Stoneage Dinosaur:
Justice is Served sounds like it, but the award was for the husband killing himself.

quote:
But his mislaid plan backfired, when the gas line ignited and blew him up, putting an end to his boorish behavior.
"Boorish"? Odd choice of words there; I'd have thought beating your wife, tying her up against her will, dousing her with petrol and burning her to death counted as "uncouth" at least...
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Kal
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by Stoneage Dinosaur:
Justice is Served sounds like it, but the award was for the husband killing himself.

That sounds like the one. And in related news, my inability to find things once I've put them down has now spread to the internet. [Razz]

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Do the weetabix ask such questions? I think not!

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F minor
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGOTHA:
F minor -

I doubt that story was in one of the Darwin books as a Darwin award, since it doesn't meet the criteria for a Darwin.

To win a Darwin Award, you must do the damage to yourself after you are an adult. Running over one's son would not qualify for a Darwin award.

I can assure you it definitely was.

The book admitted that it was a stretch of the criteria, but since the mother was removing her genes from the gene pool, it still counted. Remember you don't have to kill yourself, only render yourself incapable of passing on your DNA. The boy was the mother's only son. Which just makes it all the more hiiiiilarious.

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RBCal
Deck the Malls


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I no longer read the Darwin Awards. In my experience the site is very dishonest. I submitted a newslink and was told that it wasn't suitable for publication. They later published it without acknowledging that I originally submitted it.

Also, Snopes has debunked some of their submissions as false.

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"The women who embraced in the wagon were Adam and Eve crossing a dark cathedral stage—no, Eve and Eve, loving one another as they would not be able to once they ate of the fruit and knew themselves as they truly were." - Lynn Cheney, Sisters.

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by RBCal:
I no longer read the Darwin Awards. In my experience the site is very dishonest.

My opinion of the Darwin Awards website sunk through the floor when I read their description of an event involving my employer. Suffice it to say the death was NO ONE'S fault, especially not the deceased's.

Seaboe

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Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I used to read the Darwin Awards, (and was even a regular on their forum for a short while) but a critical eye revealed how pointless most of them really were. Simple logic disproves most, as will a quick internet search.

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"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
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Mr. Billion
The First USA Noel


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I don't see what's so bad about the darwin awards. Nobody complains about that church in Westboro that mocks the deaths of fags, do they? So why should anybody get all up in arms when we make fun of the deaths of morons?

</sarcasm>

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Darwin awards are misnamed. Even if we assume that there is a "stupid" gene, removing a stupid person from the gene pool doesn't mean that the stupid gene has been removed from the gene pool.

The Darwin awards underestimate the fornication capability of stupid people.

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Originally posted by Mad Jay:
The Darwin awards underestimate the fornication capability of stupid people.

The Darwin Awards imply that only stupid people do stupid things.

Darwin 8:7
"He that is without stupidity among you, let him first remove the bricks from the bucket on the pulley."

Four Kitties

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Four Kitties:
quote:
Originally posted by Mad Jay:
The Darwin awards underestimate the fornication capability of stupid people.

The Darwin Awards imply that only stupid people do stupid things.

Darwin 8:7
"He that is without stupidity among you, let him first remove the bricks from the bucket on the pulley."

Four Kitties

Assuming that stupidity is a genetic trait, removing a stupid individual doesn't reduce stupidity in the general populace. First, the stupid person might have already reproduced, which will ensure that the stupid gene passes on. Second, the stupid person might be sharing the gene with his siblings, who will ensure that the stupid gene passes on

Modification of genes doesn't work at an individual level. It works at the species level. Removing individuals that have a certain trait, at random doesn't remove the trait. If you want to eliminate a trait, you have to stop all individuals with that trait from reproducing. If we do that, we would be stepping into the realms of Eugenics, and that's not what the Darwin awards is about.

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Silas Sparkhammer
I Saw V-Chips Come Sailing In


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quote:
Originally posted by Four Kitties:
The Darwin Awards imply that only stupid people do stupid things.

Darwin 8:7
"He that is without stupidity among you, let him first remove the bricks from the bucket on the pulley."

Grin! That's a great point; even the smartest people occasionally do really stupid things, sometimes with fatal consequences.

On the other hand, I think an argument could be made that "stupidity" is pseudo-genetic, like language: parents pass a lot of it on to their children, and if (alas) one has stupid parents, one is more likely to suffer the affliction oneself, to a statistically significant degree.

Silas

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Silas Sparkhammer:
quote:
Originally posted by Four Kitties:
The Darwin Awards imply that only stupid people do stupid things.

Darwin 8:7
"He that is without stupidity among you, let him first remove the bricks from the bucket on the pulley."

Grin! That's a great point; even the smartest people occasionally do really stupid things, sometimes with fatal consequences.

On the other hand, I think an argument could be made that "stupidity" is pseudo-genetic, like language: parents pass a lot of it on to their children, and if (alas) one has stupid parents, one is more likely to suffer the affliction oneself, to a statistically significant degree.

Silas

I'm pretty sure I got my stupidity from my kids and not the other way around.

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"Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit

(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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quote:
Originally posted by N11/N12:
5.The event must be verified.

Most of the Darwin Awards would fail under this rule.

Pogue

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Let's drink to the causes in your life:
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Karmyn
Jingle Bell Hock


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I read the three books, but haven't checked the website in a long time. I once considered submitting my Uncle George, but decided against it. I figured a lot of stubborn people die of infection after refusing to get a tetnus shot after stepping on a rusty nail.

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Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Pogue Mahone:
quote:
Originally posted by N11/N12:
5.The event must be verified.

Most of the Darwin Awards would fail under this rule.

Pogue

You mean such as the use of Ananova and Pravda as valid news sources? [Wink]

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"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
Countdown: 177 days and counting... or less. My blog. 14 keyboards owed.

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