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» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » Rantidote » Letters You Wish You Could Send - June 2006 (Page 11)

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Author Topic: Letters You Wish You Could Send - June 2006
Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Dear Beowulf Girl:

Oh, that was funny. And horrifying. And I think I need a shower now. I especially like this bit (hope you don't mind the quoting):

quote:
A few months ago, Roger got in trouble with the Dean of Faculty for having sex in his office with Cathy. He actually has a sofa-bed in there. The Dean told him that he had to get rid of the sofa-bed immediately, and that he had to be off-campus by a certain time. This caused much trauma, especially to Cathy, because they now had no place to have sex; she still lives with her parents.
Somebody needs to explain to Cathy the old French saying: When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.

Lainie

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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Dear possible job,
Please be nice casual dress code. I just realized that I have no summer appropriate business casual clothing. And no money to go get summer appropriate clothing, even at Goodwill.
Jenna

Dear body,
Sorry. I didn't mean to have to walk to the store and carry heay things back twice in a half hour period. Please stop hurting-especially you leg. Could you please stop turning purple gray ?
You look like your trying to audition for a bit part on a zombie flick.

--------------------
I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

Posts: 641 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Dear second summer student,

In the immortal words of Arrow Tech IV: Do your damn job.

You have been here three weeks and gotten nothing done (compared to your coworker who started at the same time and has a fair amount of data).

The problem is that you are petrified to make a mistake. So you delay actually doing anything for awhile. So what happens if you make a mistake? You were there yesterday when M, the other student, told me that she dumped the vacuum on the cryopump. Did I yell and scream? Did I fire her? Did I belittle her until she was a quivering mass on the floor? No I did not. I grinned and said "Okay. You have now been initiated. But what did you learn?" That's it. No recriminations.

5 minutes ago was the absolute last straw. You and I went through the paper which gave you the directions a week ago. This ie because you had not bothered to read the paper, even though I gave you an outline of how to do it. This not reading of the paper lead to the confusion about what solvent to use. You asked my boss, who emailed me; I was too busy to look it up and I said "I think it was IPA. It is in the paper, I know". So what happens? You come to me two days ago with this "Dr. L said to use IPA and your paper said to use 80% EtOH, which is it?"

I said, remarkably calmly (because this isn't the first time you have pulled this not reading and then getting conflicting advice thing) "Let's start with what's in the paper. Then if, for whatever reason, the samples are unsatisfactory, we can go from there. Just try it once."

So 5 minutes ago. Not five minutes ago, there you were in my office, paper in hand. "It says here 5% w/v polymer. Did you really mean 5%w/v?" No, of course I didn't. I wrote that for submission to a peer-reviewed journal because I used 50% in ether. Of course I did. And my answer, which is going to be my answer until you actually try this is going to be the same: just try it. I am not going to answer any more questions, apart from those having to do with safety, until you just try it. Just bloody do it, okay? If it doesn't work out, we'll figure out what went wrong.

Just. Do. Your. Damn. Job.

Now I need a drink. I am taking the grad student you have been working with because she needs one too.

Dr. T

ETA: The grad student just called. You are now AWOL.

Dear Boss,

I am getting tired of baby sitting.

Best regards,
TG

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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BeowulfGirl
Happy Holly Days


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Dear TurquoiseGirl,

I think your job scares the bejesus out of me! People like you frighten me at the faculty wine & cheese receptions! [Smile]

--BeowulfGirl

--------------------
Please visit my blog and leave a comment! It's all pretty and pink and quite funny. Go here: http://beowulfgirl.blogspot.com/

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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You get wine? Looxury!

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Lydia Oh Lydia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Student Loan Company,

You know, I *knew* there would be a glitch with my full and final payment. I have been sending you checks for 8 years. You have always managed to receive my check, cash my check, and reflect that amount on your online site. Suddenly, when I decide to pay my bill in full, you have lost my check? According to my bank account, you have my check and you cashed my check 2 days ago. Said payment should be reflected in your system.

Good riddance,
An almost former customer

***
Dear Customer Service of the above referenced Student Loan Company,

Granted, I understand why you would outsource your customer service line to India. But, you might want to make sure your employees know basic English and understand the difference between mailing and cashing a check. I had the same circular argument with 2 different people before I requested to be transferred to a representative in the US.

Good riddance (again),
The same almost former customer

--------------------
"My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League.

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Continuing the rant:

Dear Student:

After you came and asked me what a term meant and I told you (despite that being one of the words you probably should have circled for clarification on your second time through the paper), you then spent an hour in the library looking it up? Looking it farging up?

And as a result, the samples you are making are not ready for the grad student. Who I understand you told not to bother with because they weren't going to work well. How the bloody hell are you supposed to know whether or not they worked unless you gave them to J for testing?

And what happens if they don't work? You come up and say "Dr. T. They didn't work." Then I ask you a bunch of questions about how you made the samples. Then we change one of the parameters and you try again. See? Not the end of the world. That's how you do experiments in a research lab. If it was easy or immediately obvious, someone would have done it by now...
Dr. T

Dear I,
Thanks for the chocolate.

TG

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Dear TGirl,

This is for you,

hang in there,
Chloe
xx

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Dear Chloe,
Thanks very much!
Much love,
TG

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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Dear Sailor Jerry webstore,
I love you so very much, but why do you have to be so spendy ?
Grouchy-ly
A fan of oldschool flash

--------------------
I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

Posts: 641 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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Dear NFSBK-tard grandfather,
What right do you think you have, to hook me by my neck with your arm and attempt to drag me to your seat? What right do you have to pull me HARDER when I'm struggling to get out of your grip? I'm GLAD you let go when my MANAGER started coming over. I'm P.O.'d that your family didn't get kicked out because of what you did. You genuinely SCARED me. I have a light bruise on my neck because of you.
And now my neck and shoulder hurt. Congratulations, Gramps, I may be put on restrictions and/or get worker's comp because of YOUR stupidity.

-The short girl you hurt

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Ummmmm... was this a grandfather, or your grandfather? (I'm not being a wiseass; I'm genuinely unclear.)

Either way, [Eek!]

--------------------
High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by DesertRat:
Ummmmm... was this a grandfather, or your grandfather? (I'm not being a wiseass; I'm genuinely unclear.)

Either way, [Eek!]

It was a grandfather. My grandfather has too much class and pride for his granddaughter to even JOKE about such things.

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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Dear Ging-zilla,
Why are you running stiff-leggedly through the apartment making "wubba-wubba-wubba" noises ?
Loves,
The gal who shares your apartment

P.S. You really need to stop chin-upping on the sliding window in an attempt to watch birds. I'm afraid the window will crash down on your little kitty paws and that would suck mightily.

--------------------
I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

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Barbara
Layaway in a Manger


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Dear BeowulfGirl,

About dressing up like a deer? Tell your friend in the horse suit, "Neigh."

Barbara "to bambi or not to bambi?" Mikkelson

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Barbara
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Originally posted by Kitsune26:
Dear Ging-zilla,
Why are you running stiff-leggedly through the apartment making "wubba-wubba-wubba" noises ?
Loves,
The gal who shares your apartment


Sounds like your cat had himself a session of the elevenses. As rec.pets.cats explains it:

quote:
Cats will often display behavior commonly called "elevenses," since it seems to occur most often around 11PM. This consists of the cat's eyes dilating, its tail poofing out, and alternating between hopping sideways and racing all over the house.
quote:
P.S. You really need to stop chin-upping on the sliding window in an attempt to watch birds. I'm afraid the window will crash down on your little kitty paws and that would suck mightily.
How about getting him a window perch? These items generally cost between $20 and $25, and are very easy to set up, with no tools required. Honestly, five minutes after you've opened the box, your kitty will have his very own padded window seat, purrfectly suitable for long, lazy catnaps in the sun or for spying on the neighbourhood birds.

We've four of these things in our screened porch and one in snopes' office, and it's rare there's not a cat or three hanging out on some of them. The "sheepskin" cover pops off for washing, so it's easy to keep your cat perch presentable looking.

Barbara "the cats have got me trained" Mikkelson

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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She's got a perch in the window. I'm guessing that she's trying to get closer to the birds.
It'd be cute (she hangs from the top of the window where it's slid up and waves her little pouf-tail) if she didn't make the window slide down.
I suppose I need to open the window a bit wider so that she can't hook her front paws and dangle.

--------------------
I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

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Egg Note
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Dear TV,

Out of all the times you decided to go kaput, you just had to choose today, out of all days when I wanted to watch the latest episode of Eureka 7 and the premiere of the Venture Bros. the next day? Something told me I should have watch it on Friday Fix instead. Oh well, I'm surprised you made it this far.

Love,
Mac.

ETA: Oops, didn't mean to end it with my RL nickname, oh well.

--------------------
Okay, just to make it clear, there is a real world out there. No really, there is. I checked.

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Loyhargil
We Three Blings


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Lots of topics covered ahead, sorry. Bypass if you want, I'm rambling anyway.


Dear lady who bought my little house,

Enjoy it as much as my daughter and I did. It was my first house, and I did it all by myself, after my divorce, a little dollhouse for my baby and me. We loved that place. It brought us a joy and stability we hadn't had together yet, because of other circumstances. I hope you love it, too.

Sincerely,

Me


Dear general population,

Please buy our current house. It's gorgeous and we worked very hard making it gorgeous. I wish we could be here longer to enjoy it more, but those are the breaks. Buy it, and enjoy all the beautiful windows!

Sincerely,

Me


Dear Housing Market in forthcoming new town,

Okay, throw us something good, we're gettin' antsy here, and I'm not looking forward to being an apartment dweller again, even if it is temporary.

Love,
Me


Dear Dad,

I wish there was something I could do. Crimeny, you've been through the ringer. I was hoping I would still be here through chemo, but it looks like you're not strong enough yet.

My heart is breaking enough at the way all of this timed out. I didn't go looking for this new job, it came looking for me. And it's perfect, it's truly perfect, and it's what I've been busting my butt for 10 years to get. It's perfect in so many ways, Dad, not just the money.

Although the money's good. For the first time in my life, I can finally say I'll never worry about money again. I'll be able to do things for my family you and Mom always wanted to do, but couldn't. I won't worry about how to pay for Kiddo's braces, for college, for unplanned medical expenses, we'll be okay, truly financially okay.

Please don't make me feel like I'm abandoning you in your time of need. I accepted the job when your prognosis was highly encouraging and we thought it was going to be a quick (albeit painful) surgery, quick chemo, then voila, done! I feel horrible about this, and I didn't make this decision lightly. I even tried to plan my start-date for after you finished chemo. I had no idea you'd have that set-back that'd put chemo off so long.

If this job had come up a year ago, before you got sick, I would have taken it in a heartbeat. If it came up a year from now, when you're past all this and doing better (which I know you will be), I would have taken it in a heartbeat. Being offered it in the midst of your diagnosis and surgery and horrible post-surgery setback, it's ripping my heart out.

It's an opportunity I don't know will ever come again, though, Dad. It's not just the position and pay, it's the city, the people I'll be working with, and the varied work I'll be doing. It's everything I've ever hoped for, except the distance. But it's not like we're going cross-country. We'll still just be driving distance away. More than twice the current drive, but driving distance nonetheless. You'll still have my weekends. Kiddo can't stand to be away from Grandpa too long, you know that.

But man, Dad, when you have me wanting to go to GRANDMA'S to avoid a freaking guilt trip, you know you're laying it on thick.

I love you, Dad. Whether I'm 1 1/2 hours away, or 5 hours away, I love you the same.

Love,
the baby


Dear God,

We were all so pleased it was Stage 1 cancer. Let this new lump be benign. Dad's been through quite enough.

Love,
Me


Dear Smokers,

I'm going to be preachy and ask you to please consider stopping. Lung cancer sucks for not only the person who has it, but their family members watching the treatment. It may be a disease of the lung, but it rips your heart out, too.

Love,
Loyhargil


Dear ex,

Thanks for finally being cooperative. See? I'm not out to get you. Some things, amazingly enough, are not about you.

Me

--------------------
Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee.

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear American Greetings program deep in my computer,

Thanks for wiping out an hours worth of work I did on making the cookbook. Now I have to do that crap all over again, and I have lots more to go. Pain in the butt!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Steve,

Stay frosy, my friend. Ditch the job and move. Then you won't have to deal with all the stress that's driving you crazy. You want to move back up here and have the money to do it and you've discussed it with Holly. We will willingly, lovingly welcome you back til you get your head back to normal, find work and your own place. Don't worry about it being crammed here. Don't worry about Da's pet bird, he'll be fine. We'd rather have the "inconvenence" of you staying here than watching you have a mental breakdown down there in Florida. I know you're still loyal and true to Da's word, but it's not worth the headache right now. Put it on a backburner and continue it another time. Come home boy, and bring the missus. Rhode Island welcomes you with a big hug, Portagee bread, jonnycakes, and a coffee Awful Awful.

-Your twin with three years difference, Trish

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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Dear Drivers in Southern Wisconsin,

I hate you all. I hate you for not using your blinkers. I hate you for not knowing how to merge. I hate you for drifting in and out of the lane (and into mine!). I hate you for not knowing what a "cruise control" is and using it. I hate it when you pass me, then slow down. I hate it when I go to pass you so you speed up because you don't like following a pick-up truck. I hate you for driving slow in the fast lane. I hate you for tailgating me on the interstate even though I'm doing five over the posted speed limit (then passing me and slowing down!). I hate the fact none of you today knew how to use your blinker that I'm mentioning it again.

I hate that you made me run out of swear words in a 20 minute drive.

Get off the road, learn to drive, then come back and maybe I won't hate you.

Sincerely,
Lady in the new red truck

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

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Morgaine La Raq Star
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Dear chick on the beach:

No, the 2 older ladies were not trying to steal your child. They were trying to pull his stroller into the shade to cool him off. He was getting *way* too hot (sitting in the sun, even with a towel covering the opening, will do that) & they were concerned about his welfare.
WTF do you think you were doing frolicking on the beach while your kid is in a stroller too far away for you to hear him or even see him (because there's a towel in front of him)? What if someone *had* taken him? I realize the beach is incredibly safe but it was still incredibly stupid! I really hope you learned your lesson.

Signed,

the bystander who was shocked by your negligence

--------------------
I cannot live without books-Thomas Jefferson *~* A child educated only at school is an uneducated child - George Santayana
I'm going to pummel you with such zeal, Buddha will explode! *~* Never miss a good chance to shut up - Will Rogers

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Gabi
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Dear Kidneys,

Please go away and get better, you hurt too much to stay here. Although I must say the pills make me really loopy, and that is kinda fun.

Love
the rest of the body

--------------------
"she chose the next moment to demonstrate her talent, very rare, for projectile vomiting while spinning" Bill Richardson about his new white bedspread

Posts: 19 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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Dear Airline Gods(esses),

Make Shawn's trip from Australia to the US a smooth one. Please, give him movies on the long flight that are tolerable. Give him a seatmate who isn't annoying, or loud, or smelly. (A hot chick who is slightly flirty would be nice). Please, help him sleep so he's not so loopy and out of it upon landing here. Have his baggage arrive safely and in one piece, at the same time he does. Calm his nerves and soothe his anxiety.

~Thank you-
His concerned and caring friend.

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Dear Frog_Feathers,

The best kind of seatmate is no seatmate at all. (Or SO, who on our last trip wandered round the cabin for two hours so that I could stretch out and snooze. Awwwww!)

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

Posts: 10111 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Ms. Kringle
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Dear Vacation Gods and Weather Gods,

First off, I would like to request decent weather while we are traveling late Friday to early Saturday. No storms, no fog, no delays, please.

Secondly? I'd like to request an end to the ungodly heat wave we're in for the end of June. This sucks, I hate it, and I'd like it to stop NOW. I don't want to run the air conditioner, I hate running the air conditioner, and I don't care how much So Cal Edison has pledged to donate to the Temple of California Weather Gods, but believe you me when I say they'll never come through with it.

You might as well stop it. You can be hot when I get back, in mid-July. Just not NOW, thank you.

Sincerely,
A Sweating, Hot, And Annoyed Ms. K

--------------------
Beware corporate zombies! They will purchase your brain on E-Bay!

Posts: 2310 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
jmcomeau
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Dear new manager,

Now that I'm through training, and have the job, and am on your team, please, please, please grant the time off request.

I cannot change the plans I made before I knew I needed a different job. Please, believe me when I say I never would have planned for a week's vacation in July if I knew I'd be working for you for barely 4 weeks by then.

Please, give me the time off. It's the only way to get SO and his stuff, up here.

JMC

--------------------
Is it always this cold? Hell is so much warmer.

Posts: 166 | From: Fort Collins, CO | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
Dear Frog_Feathers,

The best kind of seatmate is no seatmate at all. (Or SO, who on our last trip wandered round the cabin for two hours so that I could stretch out and snooze. Awwwww!)

Dear Chloe,

When I went to Brisbane last year, the long flight I had from San Fransisco to Sydney- I was in a row with a college boy and two handsome young men from Melbourne. I was older than them by at least 12 years. And they just thought I was the coolest person they'd met that day. Tattoos and cool stories about Alaska impressed them. Alaska! I said, "We're flying into paradise and you're impressed with Alaska?" One of the guys from Melbourne said, "Doll, I've been to Australia, I've never been to Alaska!"

My flight wasn't so bad, but then, I can sleep sitting up. [Big Grin]

~FF

PS: Shawn's flight from Sydney was delayed by three hours.

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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Dear back,
Please stop hurting. I'm using a heating pad. I'm using Aleve. What more do you want? Insurance won't cover massage in physical therapy, and I don't get home (and able to go to that spa I'm dreaming of) for another 7-8 weeks. Maybe I can convince Mom and Dad to pay for a massage at Saratoga Springs or the Grand Floridian. But for the moment...please stop hurting. I need to work, and those spasms aren't helping.

No love for you,
Mickey

Dear Snopesters,
Any idea on what I can do (for the moment) about my back?

Thanks in advance,
Mickey

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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Dear United Airlines,

I'm going to call you in a little while and hopefully you'll be able to help me. I don't want to make the two-hour trip to O'Hare just to end up sitting there for six hours. Why the heck you were delayed for so long in Sydney is beyond me.

So, please, please help me out when I call. I need to know when to show up at the airport to pick up my incredibly tired, frazzled and confused Aussie.

~Sincerely,
Concerned and caring friend.


Mickey,

Try lying down on the floor with your legs up on a chair or the sofa, with your butt as close to the thing your legs are up on. So, it will look like your sitting on the base of the chair, with your knees bent, calves resting on the seat part. (I hope that made sense). That's the only thing that worked for me while I was pregnant with kid #3. She pinched the sciatic nerve in my back nearly the entire time she was living there. [Wink]

Good luck.

~FF

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
MaidenAthene
Deck the Malls


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Dear clacking, out of balance ceiling fan:
Shut. The NFBSK. Up.
-Athene

--------------------
“We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.” - Marilyn Manson
"Well, end more, your not ending enough!" - MST3K

Posts: 259 | From: Texas | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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Dear Athene,
Have you tried figuring out what exactly makes it off-balance? I've tried dusting the fan before, and while that put me in a near-asthma attack, the fan stopped clacking.
-Mickey

--------------------
My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

Posts: 3295 | From: Radford, VA/Herndon, VA/Orlando, FL | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Rhea
We Three Blings


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Dear Selecção -

that was not okay. You know I'm your loving devoted fan and I'm really happy you won, but I would have been much happier if you'd won by kicking the ball and not the other team. (Not that they were any better, but I'm not going to write them a letter.)

Twelve yellow and four red cards - that's a sad record. I'm sorry you'll be short of Deco but you deserve that.

Now do me a favor and play better next time. You beat England before in 2004 and that was simply a beautiful game, which is why I fell in love with you lot. So you can do it.

It's football, not war.

Love,

your probably northernmost fan

Posts: 1201 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
glass papaya
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear Dad,

I know you love your house in the woods, but it is really time to consider moving to something more suitable.

Mom has had back problems for over a year. The only way out of the house is by a staircase. She CAN'T negotiate stairs. She just can't. I have watched my 62 year old mother become a shut-in over the last year. Maybe it doesn't bother you, but it bothers me.

If you moved to a one story house, she could go outside once in a while. Maybe she could strengthen some of those muscles to make it easier to get around. It might not happen, since the deterioration is so drastic, but you never know.

Mom wants to move. I will help you pack. It really would be best, for her and for you. You do not need a big four bedroom house filled with junk any more.

Love,

Your frustrated oldest daughter [Frown]

Posts: 544 | From: Onalaska, WI | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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Dear Airline,

I appreciate that you put Shawn up in a nice hotel so he could get decent sleep instead of abandoning him in the airport, but, I have one problem. You couldn't get him another flight that lands in the daytime? I mean, come on! I checked the website, there are three flights that leave before noon and land before 11:15 PM! Guess what? Even if I wasn't going to take the bus to pick him up, I'd still have to drive to the airport because the last bus leaves at 11 PM. Now I actually have to drive to O'Hare and battle the parking situation to pick him up.

~Angry friend of a passenger


Dear Kat (my daughter),
Thanks for reminding me of who I am and that I can do anything. I've spent so much time the last couple of years feeling so sick that I'd forgotten.

You're right. I am that woman who threw the three of you kids into the van and drove to Maryland, through Washington DC rush hour. I'm that same woman who drove three little kids back and forth across country by myself. I'm also that same woman who can handle anything thrown at her no matter what. A silly 2 hour drive into Chicago's O'Hare airport isn't going to phase me at all.

You rock, kid.

Love,
Mom

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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