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Author Topic: Why do I have to be in a good mood ALL the time?
MissEltoe
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Today was just one of those days.

You know how sometimes you just have a day; maybe you call it "waking up on the wrong side of the bed"....

Maybe you just feel blah, or ehhh....

Whatever! Anyway, I had a day like that today, and even though I insisted that nothing in particular was WRONG, I was OK, everyone kept prodding me!
It was especially annoying when the one chick that sits in the cubicle next to mine kept having smart-assed comments. I mean, she's like this on a daily (if not hourly) basis!
[flame]
Aren't I allowed to have one day when I'm just not bouncing off the damn walls?!!?

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Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants?
~I'mNotDedalus

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Prelude in G Minor
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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MissE, I know what you mean. Even worse is when you have people telling you to "Smile!"

Mornings are blah for me. I'm not a morning person at all and am very irritable until my coffee has had time to take effect. My mother, however, is very chipper in the morning and sometimes thinks I'm in a bad mood just because I'm not bubbly like she is. She'll start wondering "what's wrong" even though I'm always like that in the morning!

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Bad music affects me, but good music affects me even more.

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VersesBatman
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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My brother in law thinks it's a good idea to tickle me from behind if I'm in a bad mood.

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It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000

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ChildofMusic
Deck the Malls


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People like that only make me more miserable. Grrrr.

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- ChildofMusic

"Music is one of the fairest and most glorious gifts of God." -Martin Luther

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Max_Renn
Jingle Bell Hock


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Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays...

Sorry, it just jumped into my head. I sympathize. I have a co-worker who is perpetually, creepily, annoyingly upbeat. As if the job wasn't bad enough, I've got her chirping away ten feet away, invariably answering "How are you?" with "WONderfully well, thank you very much! How are you this fine morning?" in a sing-song voice.

Needless to say, I'm the bad guy for letting this bug me. Sigh...

Max "not a bad guy, really" Renn

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Sister Ann: DRIVE! DRIVE
Crow T. Robot: Look, I'm already driving, there's no inherent quantity of driving that I can increase! If you want me to go faster, you should say so.

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by MissE:
. . and even though I insisted that nothing in particular was WRONG, I was OK, everyone kept prodding me!

IMO, it's even worse when something in particular is wrong. If I'm not discussing my problems, there's probably a reason. Maybe it's just too personal or embarrassing to get into. Maybe I'm tired of talking about it. Maybe I'm struggling to maintain composure and talking about the problem makes me cry.

From a co-worker or casual acquaintance, asking once, "Are you okay?" is polite concern. But if the answer is "Yes, I'm fine," pushing the matter further is rude.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Avril
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I just always tell them my teeth hurt. Since my teeth always hurt (I swear, I managed to get the courage, and I should be having my wisdom teeth out on Thursday, but until then...), that's the truth. And it usually does exacerbate my feelings of moderate depression.

I've also been known to burst into tears and say, "Sometimes I'm just a girl, that's all!" That'll teach 'em. (To do this I have to be in a bad mood induced by hormones, though. Therefore, this is also true.)

If not, in my experience it at least gets them to buy me a soda or something.

Avril

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There is no failure unless one stops. --Ray Bradbury

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Christie
The Bills of St. Mary's


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quote:
Originally posted by Max_Renn:
Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays...

Sorry, it just jumped into my head. I sympathize. I have a co-worker who is perpetually, creepily, annoyingly upbeat. As if the job wasn't bad enough, I've got her chirping away ten feet away, invariably answering "How are you?" with "WONderfully well, thank you very much! How are you this fine morning?" in a sing-song voice.

Needless to say, I'm the bad guy for letting this bug me. Sigh...

Max "not a bad guy, really" Renn

I don't think you're a bad guy for letting this bug you -- now if you took it upon yourself to try to make this woman feel like a twit because she bugs you, then yep bad guy on line one - but letting it bug you doesn't make you a bad guy. If it does then get in line because I hate people like that too especially first thing in the morning when any sane person feels just terrible thankyouverymuch [Big Grin] .

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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr

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Joe Bentley
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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You know I've always equated constant happiness with stupidity.

I don't mean the ability to be happy, I mean that constant, never waivering, Pollyana, Scarlet O'Hara, nothing ever gets to you constant fog of happiness that some people live in.

You need to get angry sometimes. You need to get upset.

I think we as a society really went down the wrong path when we decided that anger was a "negative" emotion. That's B.S. Anger is not negative. Anger means something is upsetting you. I'd put down better then Vegas odds that as much as we like to pretend its not true, anger and fear probably get more good down in the world then happiness or love ever does. Why? Because people don't do things when they are content, they do them when they are either fed up with something or scared.

People say things like "You can't think straight when you're angry."

So? Big fat hairy deal. You can't think straight when you experiencing any other emotion strongly either.

I know this sounds odd coming from me, someone who has more then once on this board ranted about our modern world's total over emphasis on emotions and feelings, but actually it ties back into it.

I've always felt that when you feel strongly about something, that its important to act on it, but only after you understand why you feel the way you do.

Emotions should be your kick in the pants that something needs to be done, but logic should be what tells what needs to be done.

*I know this sounds like a horrible hijack, but bear with me*

So by having these cheerful emotional twits walking around "vomiting sunshine" as Dr. Cox put is actually a hindrace I think. Its causing people to swallow things that are bothering them instead of facing it.

And again I'm a big supporter of "sucking it up" but only so you can calm down enough to deal with whatever is bothering you rationally, not to force other people to not deal with it all.

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"Existence has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long." - Rorschach, The Watchmen

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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Scarlet O'Hara got plenty upset. Nothing to add other than that.

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I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.

What is .02 worth?

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Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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What I love is anytime I'm in the tiniest bad mood now, people smile and nod at each other condescendingly and say, "hormones." [flame] I'm pregnant. This does not mean that if I'm pissed because Dickwad on a cell phone cut me off on the highway on the way to work that it's solely hormones and if I were not pregnant I'd be smiling with glee about this. I'd be pissed about it even if I weren't pregnant. Sometimes, you're just pissed! [flame]

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"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

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Amigone201
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Joe Bentley:
People say things like "You can't think straight when you're angry."

So? Big fat hairy deal. You can't think straight when you experiencing any other emotion strongly either.

Yes, such as horny.

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Check out my blog! http://fundiewatch.blogspot.com

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FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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I just want to say- I'm glad I'm not the only one. For some reason, people are really shocked if I'm mad or have a bad day.

I'm just glad I'm not alone with that.

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"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

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VersesBatman
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Vomiting sunshine. That? Is funny.

I hate it when you want to gripe, even if it's something small and someone tells you "Think positive!". I actually read somewhere that always thinkimng positive can be harmful in the long run. You are letting yourself be a glutton for punishment.

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It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000

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Christie
The Bills of St. Mary's


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I really hate it when you're upset about something that you have a perfect right to be upset about and someone says "well at least you've got your health" [Mad] . Sometimes you just want to vent. The last thing you need is Pollyanna pointing out the obvious.

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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr

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NocturnalGoddess- naughty or nice?
Carol of the Dells


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I get it alllll the time, hun. I hate it, it just makes you feel worse.

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"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, EVIL stuff... and I want in."- Homer Simpson

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Arriah
The First USA Noel


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I get rather annoyed by people who tell me to 'cheer up' or stuff like that. Next time I get that I'm going to look them streight in the eye and say Stop vomiting your sunshine at me!

That'll fix 'em. [fish]

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Conforming meant that everyone liked you except yourself
Rebecca

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VersesBatman
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Christie:
I really hate it when you're upset about something that you have a perfect right to be upset about and someone says "well at least you've got your health" [Mad] . Sometimes you just want to vent. The last thing you need is Pollyanna pointing out the obvious.

Tell them that if you don't vent, your health might be in jeopardy.

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It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000

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Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop
Once in Royal Circuit City


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quote:
Originally posted by Christie:
I really hate it when you're upset about something that you have a perfect right to be upset about and someone says "well at least you've got your health" [Mad] . Sometimes you just want to vent. The last thing you need is Pollyanna pointing out the obvious.

Not to mention how do people know you're not having health problems you haven't told them about?

Nonny

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When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer

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Kitten in the rain
Jingle Bell Hock


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I kinda sympathise with people who keep asking what's wrong. Something is clearly wrong if someone is looking "down", and they're saying nothing is wrong, so clearly they're not telling the truth. Beyond that, you have no way of knowing what's going on -- they could be having family problems, or you could be inadvertantly pissing them off. You have no way of knowing.

Boyfriend in the Rain used to do this to me all the time. He'd get depressed about something, sometimes related to something I did sometimes not, and get all mopey, but he'd tell himself he's being stoic. He'd talk himself into thinking he was hiding it. He wasn't. But if I were to ask him what's wrong, he'd insist that nothing is, really, I'm just imagining things again.

Thankfully, he doesn't do this much anymore. It was torture.

Anyway, when I'm in an ucky mood and people ask me what's wrong and I don't feel like telling them (which is usually) I make up a socially acceptable reason. Like, for instance "Oh, I'm just tired. My damn cats kept me up all night." or "Just another case of the Mondays". People usually accept that because they can relate and go away.

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NorthernLite
We Three Blings


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I rarely smile. I just don't. I'm not unhappy, it's just that my face doesn't naturally smile when at rest. This seems to bug some people.

There was one guy who I worked with who always would look at me and say "Smile". It used to bug me to no end. Why do I have to plaster a phony smile on my face. I was a truck driver for crying out loud. Finaly one day I looked at him and said, "Why? Are you leaving?" and then I smiled...evilly.

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You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles

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Amigone201
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Kitten in the rain:
I kinda sympathise with people who keep asking what's wrong. Something is clearly wrong if someone is looking "down", and they're saying nothing is wrong, so clearly they're not telling the truth. Beyond that, you have no way of knowing what's going on -- they could be having family problems, or you could be inadvertantly pissing them off. You have no way of knowing.

Boyfriend in the Rain used to do this to me all the time. He'd get depressed about something, sometimes related to something I did sometimes not, and get all mopey, but he'd tell himself he's being stoic. He'd talk himself into thinking he was hiding it. He wasn't. But if I were to ask him what's wrong, he'd insist that nothing is, really, I'm just imagining things again.

Thankfully, he doesn't do this much anymore. It was torture.

Anyway, when I'm in an ucky mood and people ask me what's wrong and I don't feel like telling them (which is usually) I make up a socially acceptable reason. Like, for instance "Oh, I'm just tired. My damn cats kept me up all night." or "Just another case of the Mondays". People usually accept that because they can relate and go away.

This is a lesson I've learned and put into practice. If I ask "what's wrong" and someone says "nothing," I just go with it. You want somebody to listen? I'll listen. But if you say "nothing's wrong" then I'll assume "nothing's wrong." Just don't then try to dump on me; you said nothing was wrong. Next time, either tell it like it is or don't tell it.

Okay, I'm not actually this cruel in real life. I'm just working toward the greater goal of eliminating mind games from society's vocabulary. Or at least the vocabulary of people around me.

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Check out my blog! http://fundiewatch.blogspot.com

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Crackrzz
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I'm sorry... as an aside, I first read the thread title as in "the" mood. [lol] Hopefully, I'm not the only one. I thought you might be ranting about a hubby or SO... being "Miss" E. [Big Grin]

I have a co worker who thinks I'm cranky or sad all the time. Just because I'm not blissfully cheerful all the time. There's a happy medium there. [Smile]

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Stand up, slip on the bathtub floor, fling a hand up to balance yourself, and happen to have your mouth open on the downswing. Voila, a new hole in your face.

-Tabby, on how she cut her lip while shaving her legs.

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Archie2K
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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If something is actually wrong with me - it's usually depression caused by some stupid incident taken way out of context - the last thing I want to do is talk about it, and the last thing anyone else wants to do is hear about it. I'd rant non-stop for about 30 minutes, then by the end I'd be concerned about appearing all self-involved and uncaring about the feelings of others. Also I'd have probably just given the other person 1000 (about $1880 or 1460) worth of blackmail material - "OMG I'm gonna tell everyone you were on happy pills!!2321212$%%$" - and as a result highly question their friendship and start looking at everyone with suspiscion. Maybe it's paranoia, maybe it's that this has happened before on more than one occasion.

Anyway I have now come around to hiding my actual mood so well that no-one knows how I feel. Not even myself. Sometimes it seems like the best way. So if someone is pressing how I feel then they deserve a slap. [Smile]

If someone else however clearly has a problem that they don't want to talk about, then I'll make some stupid and not terribly witty remark. If they want to talk about it, they will. If they don't, pushing the case makes me look like a jackass. Maybe you could try that MissE; if you aren't feeling great, make some daft off the cuff remark about how a serial killer murdered your entire family. People might think you're insane, but they won't again ask you if you're in a bad mood. [Wink]

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Bettie Page Turner
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Kitten in the rain:
I kinda sympathise with people who keep asking what's wrong. Something is clearly wrong if someone is looking "down", and they're saying nothing is wrong, so clearly they're not telling the truth. Beyond that, you have no way of knowing what's going on -- they could be having family problems, or you could be inadvertantly pissing them off. You have no way of knowing.

Sorry Kitten, but this sort of thinking is exactly what so many of us find irritating. If I am in a bad mood, I am under no obligation to tell you the "truth" behind my bad mood. Take the flip side...if I come in to work smiling and you ask me why, would you want the "truth" that I had a marvelously exhilirating romp in the sheets with DH before work? Believe me, if you need to know the reason behind my mood, good or bad, I'll tell you. Otherwise, it's nunya.

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You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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If someone is pissed off at you and won't tell you, but keeps answering "Nothing's wrong," there are two possibilities:

One, they're upset about something you've done, but they just don't consider it worth fighting/talking about it. They'll get over it if you give them time.

Two, they're playing a nasty, passive-aggressive head game. IMO and IME, the worse thing you can do is join the game by begging them to tell you what's wrong.

Either way, the problem is theirs, not yours. Take them at face value. If it's option 1, they'll get over their snit. If it's option 2, IMO, they can NFBSK off.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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hoitoider
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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When I worked in an office with others I noticed the cheery, upbeat people were the ones who got the least amount of work done while the 'serious' ones were the most productive. The cheery ones were usually more physically attractive & popular with everyone, wanted everyone to like them, etc. The world needs worker bees to support the queen bees I guess.

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No man has a right in America to treat any other man "tolerantly" for tolerance is the assumption of superiority. -Wendell L. Willkie

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MissEltoe
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Thanks, guys. I am so glad to hear that I am not the "crazy" one, because for a minute, people were making me feel like I was.
I mean, I think it really was just the "Monday blues" I guess. However, I feel the same again today (really I think it's only because my co-workers are starting to get on my nerves a little bit [Wink] ).

Kitten, much like Bettie has said, I don't think someone continuously asking me what is wrong is fine. Not for nothing, but probably if someone doesn't tell you, it isn't your business. Or they honestly just don't want to share. If a person is considered your good friend that might be a different case, too.

The other thing that bothers me is that these people know that if there was something, I probably would tell them.

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Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants?
~I'mNotDedalus

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Jay Tea
The "Was on Sale" Song


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You stared a while
Then said to me
Give me a smile
And aren't you having fun?

Stood in my path
Down in the street
I wouldn't laugh
And you looked so stunned

I think you

Had no clue

I will be blue...


Frank Black

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This is where I come up with something right? Something really clever...

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MissEltoe
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Thanks Jay! I may just print that out and hang it in my cubicle.

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Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants?
~I'mNotDedalus

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Jay Tea
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Nil problemetski MissE - it's an excerpt from a track off Frank Black's album Dog in the Sand, called I'll be blue - your post made me think of it...

 -

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This is where I come up with something right? Something really clever...

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Kitten in the rain
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Bettie Page Turner:
Sorry Kitten, but this sort of thinking is exactly what so many of us find irritating. If I am in a bad mood, I am under no obligation to tell you the "truth" behind my bad mood. Take the flip side...if I come in to work smiling and you ask me why, would you want the "truth" that I had a marvelously exhilirating romp in the sheets with DH before work? Believe me, if you need to know the reason behind my mood, good or bad, I'll tell you. Otherwise, it's nunya.

Bettie, here is the difference between these two situations. If you are upset, there is something "wrong". If you are working closely with someone, there is every chance they caused it. A considerate person doesn't want to be unintentionally pissing off their co-workers, and a self-conscious person is probably about 80% SURE it's their fault.

If you are happy, there is something "right" and thus there is nothing that needs to be fixed.

I'm not saying that I agree with badgering someone to tell you what's wrong, especially if you're in a working relationship rather than a friendship relationship or a romantic one. (In the last case, I think that lying about a problem isn't a good idea because it inhibits the flow of clear communication, but I know firsthand exactly how much good it does to keep asking of someone is determined to lie. I also know firsthand the kind of damage those lies can deal.) What I'm saying is that I've been there, I've had people who had a problem with something I was doing walk around in a huff and refuse to tell me what was wrong only to blow up in my face later, and I can see how someone else who's had that experience would be nervous when their co-workers are upset and insisting that nothing is wrong.

I don't insist that my co-workers or even my friends tell me their problems. If they have a problem with me, I expect them to tell me on their own, and if they don't, I'm going to work under the assumption that there's no problem there. If they don't, they get no sympathy from me when the eventual blowup happens.

So all I'm saying is that I sympathise.

You also conveniently ignored the second half of my post, wherein I made it pretty clear that I'm not big on letting relative strangers into my personal life, either. It's just that I handle the situation by saying something socially acceptable to let people off the hook, as it were. "Just another case of the Mondays", or a quasi-funny story about my cat keeping me up all night or coughing up a hairball right next to my bed, or something of that nature. One of those stupid little problems that people can relate to.

ETF a couple of words.

Posts: 533 | From: Davis, CA | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Kitten in the rain:
quote:
Originally posted by Bettie Page Turner:
Sorry Kitten, but this sort of thinking is exactly what so many of us find irritating. If I am in a bad mood, I am under no obligation to tell you the "truth" behind my bad mood. Take the flip side...if I come in to work smiling and you ask me why, would you want the "truth" that I had a marvelously exhilirating romp in the sheets with DH before work? Believe me, if you need to know the reason behind my mood, good or bad, I'll tell you. Otherwise, it's nunya.

Bettie, here is the difference between these two situations. If you are upset, there is something "wrong". If you are working closely with someone, there is every chance they caused it. A considerate person doesn't want to be unintentionally pissing off their co-workers, and a self-conscious person is probably about 80% SURE it's their fault.
See my post above. If you pissed them off, and they don't want to tell you about, that's there problem. Bugging them to tell you when they don't want to will either escalate the situation or, if they're playing some passive-aggressive head game, give them exactly what they're looking for.

quote:
What I'm saying is that I've been there, I've had people who had a problem with something I was doing walk around in a huff and refuse to tell me what was wrong only to blow up in my face later, and I can see how someone else who's had that experience would be nervous when their co-workers are upset and insisting that nothing is wrong.


I've been there too, and I agree it sucks. Again, see my post above for how I prefer to handle it.

quote:
I don't insist that my co-workers or even my friends tell me their problems. If they have a problem with me, I expect them to tell me on their own, and if they don't, I'm going to work under the assumption that there's no problem there. If they don't, they get no sympathy from me when the eventual blowup happens.
That, I totally agree with. I hate that manipulative passive-aggressive controlling crap.

quote:
It's just that I handle the situation by saying something socially acceptable to let people off the hook, as it were. "Just another case of the Mondays", or a quasi-funny story about my cat keeping me up all night or coughing up a hairball right next to my bed, or something of that nature. One of those stupid little problems that people can relate to.
I just don't think anyone should have to go to even that much trouble. "I'm fine, thank you for asking" should be enough.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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I am generally a happy-go-lucky type of guy. I smile frequently, and I find the punch-line in nearly every circumstance.

That being said, there are times when I need to recharge.

The last several times I have had "down time" and was confronted by a perky-poophead, I have done the following:

"I am recharging my batteries, so get off my recharger. If you continue to try to make me happy, I am going to piss in your shoes - and I am in enough of a pissy mood that I won't even wait for you to turn around. Consider yourself warned. I will be my normal self in a day or two... so until you see me laughing and smiling, go "perk" somebody else."

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Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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frogpond
Jingle Sales


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I too am suspicious of the perpetually perky. There's just to much crap that goes on in real life for anyone to be that way all the time! I tend to figure that they are hiding some dark secret or going into politics.

That said, I often get the "you look depressed" stuff because my face just looks that way at rest or when I'm hard at thought. After they tell me that I really am depressed but I refuse to go around like I'm on the Lawrence Welk show!

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So many books, so little time.

Posts: 1192 | From: McDonough, Georgia | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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