posted
I have always been alone. I'll probably always be alone. I get scared and flustered when I notice that a woman is interested in me. I'm painfully shy about it. The only time I go out is as the designated driver so my friend can drink and hit on woman. Mostly I just stay home.
posted
I'm just getting in my life where I feel it would be nice to "try" again. I've been single now for 7 years, my daughter is married, my finances are OK, I'm no longer ashamed that I'm a voluptuous lady. Then my dad dies. And I move in with Mom so she won't be alone, and because she really shouldn't live by herself due to her health. At age 47. Sheesh, talk about killing any hopes of romance (what, I'm going to meet someone and they won't care that I live with my mother??).
But anyway, I AM still going to put myself out there. I'll be upfront about my living situation but that shouldn't stop me from having male friends. I'm not going to stop living just because I'm giving up my independence. I'm currently talking with a guy I met at myspace.com and we're planning on meeting soon. I'm excited about finding a new friend. If sparks fly, great; if not, at least I can say I tried.
And I know what it's like coming home to an empty house, and not having anyone to share little things with. At least living with Mom, I do get the benefit of her companionship.
-------------------- When my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. Posts: 1765 | From: Greensboro, NC | Registered: Aug 2003
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I just broke up with my boyfriend last night. It was a necessary thing to do, since he's very emotionally immature and taking care of his needs was draining all the life out of me.
Typically I end up in relationships like that because I don't think well of myself and don't think I deserve better. I have a weight problem that I'm working on, so I think I'm not that attractive, so I end up liking whoever pays me the least amount of attention. It's stupid and hurtful and I want to stop doing it.
So now that I'm technically single again I'm going to try and stay that way for a while. I do deserve better and I'm going to hold out for it. I try to remember there's a difference in being alone and being lonely
-------------------- "Flaming Bags of Poo should not be delivered indefinitely after a bad date." - Sims 2 patch fix my space ::my kitty friend, Orion Posts: 181 | From: Jacksonville, FL | Registered: Nov 2005
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Neither - But as Mosherette said that I was "far off the mark", I felt that what I did post would be a distraction from the discussion so I deleted it.
-------------------- Where I come from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it History. Posts: 506 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by eif: Jay Tea & Richard W -
Neither - But as Mosherette said that I was "far off the mark", I felt that what I did post would be a distraction from the discussion so I deleted it.
Fair play mate, we woz only joshin'
-------------------- This is where I come up with something right? Something really clever... Posts: 6552 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2002
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As far as I'm concerned, the single life is vastly overrated. I just passed the 2 year single mark, and frankly, it sucks. However, seeing all these people that feel the same as I do kind of makes me feel validated, that i'm not pathetic for wishing that i had that Someone Special.
I think we all need a big group hug.
-------------------- The Wicked Witch of the West was FRAMED! Posts: 201 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Lainie: The "find someone when you're not looking thing" never really worked for me, but then again, neither did the "looking" thing.
Lainie, I am with you. Nothing seems to work for me, either: looking, not looking; nice, bitchy; dumb, smart.
Sadly enough my best advice is to surrender all hope. Not caring anymore is the only way to have any fun.
-------------------- "I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes. Hey, better try the emergency brake." -Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey Posts: 245 | From: Gladstone, MO | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by I'm Anya: At age 47. Sheesh, talk about killing any hopes of romance (what, I'm going to meet someone and they won't care that I live with my mother??).
Hey you could be Sophia and Dorothy (much younger Dorothy of course) from The Golden Girls. You just need two more room-mates and you're all set.
What? Not a good idea ?
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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I guess it's because I'm raising my granddaughter, but I mostly like being single. I'm not seeing anyone and don't have any room in my life to see anyone. I do miss the intimacy once in a while (not necessarily physical intimacy, although what I remember of it I liked). But I found that I didn't choose my companions very well. So looking at everything, I choose to stay single. When the day is over I prefer to just go home.
But Mosh, if you aren't to that point yet, you don't need to explain to anybody. I don't suppose you can just give an app-whap to the folks who tell you how lucky you are. But you can think it.
-------------------- "No Biblical hell could ever be worse than the state of perpetual inconsequence." Beatrice in Dangerous Beauty Posts: 1816 | From: Cayuga County, NY | Registered: Nov 2005
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I saw the words "group hug" and had to come check this thread out
(((group hug)))
Ahhh, nice.
Anyway, that Golden Girls thing may not be such a bad idea, they always had dates .
This is going to be a long post. My whole life I was overweight and not too attractive (mostly because I didn't know what to do with my hair/face) so I never got used to attention from the opposite sex. In junior high I started losing weight, and by my junior year of high school I was no more than a little chubby and was actually pretty. I still didn't really get more than the occasional sexual offer or maybe random kiss if I was lucky, partially because I wasn't attracted to guys my own age and partially because I doubted myself too much to let anything happen.
After high school a friend of mine had started hanging out with a group that included a guy I had a crush on in high school but who didn't know I existed. When he showed interest in me I realize now it made me feel good about how much better I was at the time than I had been in high school. That (and the fact that since I was stoned just about every time I was around him, which made me think he was funny) tricked me into thinking I liked him. He fell in love with me, I acted like I felt the same because I didn't know what else to do, and we dated for over a year, seven months of which were unhappy for me.
I finally broke up with him and it was such a bad experience I didn't want a relationship again. I accidently met a guy online and we liked each other but because of distance and a few other things that didn't work out. Right now I can't stop thinking about a guy I met on MySpace who I think is most likely really bad for me. I'm trying to talk myself out of my feelings for him, which are pretty silly.
I feel like I do want a relationship again, just with someone more on my level this time (not to sound like I'm full of myself, but my ex was such a moron we couldn't have a decent conversation). I think if I could get over my lingering insecurity it would help me a lot. Another problem is that most guys who show interest in me either just straight up ask for random sex (I apparently give off some type of "hey, I'm easy" vibe) or are friends I don't tink of like that who are completely infatuated with me.
Sorry this was so long, once I started typing I couldn't shut up
-------------------- Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer." A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!" "Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND GodRe-AnimateGreenPorkBush Posts: 3986 | From: Illinois, jealous? | Registered: Nov 2005
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candy from strangers - I know somewhat how you feel. At school I was overweight, it was a girls only school and the few guys I met via friends (I have no brothers) just saw a socially awkward, fat girl who didn't know how to interact with guys. I got anorexic, married the first guy who showed serious interest in me (I was 19) and after 5 years I knew it was a mistake, but couldn't afford to lose everything and leave. The last 5 years of the 17 year marriage we lived separate lives. He had the mistress (he married her) and I had boyfriends, but the moment I was single they fled. During this time I was periodically overweight and periodically crash dieting. I think I was punishing myself. Ex-hubby flung the "you let yourself go" stuff at me to justify his leaving.
I had no clue about dating. I'd never really done it, even as a teen. I did a couple of blind dates via web contacts - but we're talking about men more socially inept than me! I met a guy on a works internal newsgroups and saw him for 2 years, but only every couple of weekends due to geographical separation. We were both geeky, both chubby and both kinky, but after 2 years the travel was a strain and he blamed "dead end relationship problems" for his poor works performance (he has since admitted this was unfair as the problem was excessive workload and unrealistic expectation of what he could achieve). What hurt was he'd known it was in trouble after only 12 months and when he told me this, I felt like the 2nd year had been a sham, pretty much like my whole marriage had been. I started to think pretty much my entire life was/is a sham (I was the ugly awkward kid who had a party and everyone who promised to come, didn't ).
After 18 months, I finally felt ready to start again. Sensible diet and down to a sensible weight without starving, new wardrobe and make-up. New hairstyle. Meeting someone briefly and having a glimmer of hope, only to get dumped just before Valentines - he was using me to spite someone else - rubbed salt in the wound.
Really I should get out, but where and with whom is the problem. I've never been clubbing, never done all the stuff most teens/early 20s do because I was married and paying a mortgage and it was like being prematurely middle-aged. Right now I lack the confidence to go out alone to clubs or gigs and my younger, livelier workmates aren't interested in having me tag along. The few gigs/pubs I go to are with a bunch of same-age/older workmates who are either married or gay.
Some days I rail against my situation, but can't seem to find a way out of it. Other days I really miss having a bit of romance in life.
Thank goodness for Snopes and the online group hug - the only other person I can talk to is my 1 remaining cat (my 2 senior cats died in the last 6 months)!
posted
Aw, Mosh, hugs. I know how you are feeling.
And to be honest, part of me was saying "OMG!!1111!!!! If Mosh, as gorgeous and smart and funny as she is, is alone there is no help for me. !!1111!
For me this comes and goes. I was desolate during the holidays. And still wonder things like "is the fact that I can change my own car battery counting against me!"
I recently got rather shirty with some friends of mine who were talking about this man they know with a 5-year old. Who's 45 years old, and works with one of them. And how they were going to try to pair him up with this woman from a mom's group. Um, hello! Auntie Turquoise, queen of the preschool set here!
"Oh, we didn't know that you wouldn't mind someone with kids."
I also think, that, in some corner of my friends' minds, I am still "unavailable". Since they are all unavailable.
I feel for you Mosh, I really do!
Take care!
-------------------- There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Elphaba Fabala Elphie Fae: I hear you, Mosherette.
As far as I'm concerned, the single life is vastly overrated. I just passed the 2 year single mark, and frankly, it sucks. However, seeing all these people that feel the same as I do kind of makes me feel validated, that i'm not pathetic for wishing that i had that Someone Special.
I think we all need a big group hug.
No, you're not at all pathetic, and neither is anyone else here.
Can I add something without it sounding cliche? Well, it probably will sound cliche, but I want to say it anyway, because I wish it was said to me at the time.
For seven years I lived on my own, in a little apartment, with my kitty. Most nights my biggest decision was whether to watch tv or read a magazine. I often wondered (and whined and complained) that this was all I would ever have, and I was often lonely.
Now I am married, to a wonderful guy, and we have a beautiful son. But there is at least once a week (and sometimes more, I'm ashamed to admit) that I wouldn't give my right leg to be back in that apartment - where everything, including time, was ALL MINE. I truly didn't appreciate it at the time, and I wish I had. Like I said, a lot of the time I was lonely, but I had no idea the different types of stressors that come with the other side of the fence.
I hope this hasn't come across in a bad way; I truly don't mean it to.
Posts: 1093 | From: Pittsburgh | Registered: May 2003
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I think the problem I have is actually the exact opposite one to yours: I've been so used to having my partner there that now it's just me and the kitty I'm kind of lost. I have a big gap that just seems to get bigger the more it isn't filled. I think mine and the ex's relationship was very, very good in a lot of ways, because we never, ever had any kind of problem like I want to go shopping but he doesn't (I just went on my own), he wants to go out on his bike and I don't (he went out on his own) etc. We were both free to do what we wanted, when we wanted - and if we wanted to do it together, so be it. I had all the good things of being single and all the good AND bad things of being in a couple. And the REALLY bad things too . :-/
We were together for almost ten years (it would have been our ten year anniversary last month) and while I am 100% certain I don't want him back, and I also don't want to replace him by leaping straight into another Relationship - I am missing that "niceness" of being with someone. The cosiness and security, I suppose, of knowing that someone likes you in That Way, just as you like them. Not security as in bolstering your self-esteem - I'm not that bad! (yet) - but security as in, this feels nice and safe. And more than anything, I want to fun of being really silly with someone! I like goofing around and being really daft, and I've got no one to do it with any more.
-------------------- Silence should never under any circumstances be construed as agreement. A lot of the time, it's simply a reflection that someone just said something so stupid that no response could possibly do it justice. - Ramblin' Dave Posts: 8528 | From: Nottingham, England | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Mosherette: I think the problem I have is actually the exact opposite one to yours: I've been so used to having my partner there that now it's just me and the kitty I'm kind of lost.
Well, I honestly think that situation would be even more difficult than the one I described. You sound very self-aware though, and mature, about your previous relationship.
Posts: 1093 | From: Pittsburgh | Registered: May 2003
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quote:Originally posted by glisp42: I have always been alone. I'll probably always be alone. I get scared and flustered when I notice that a woman is interested in me. I'm painfully shy about it. The only time I go out is as the designated driver so my friend can drink and hit on woman. Mostly I just stay home.
High five, yo. Hell, at least you get people interested in you. Most people just go on about how I'm "too fat" (size six. since when is a size six fat.) to be attractive.
I want a guy who is kind, sensitive, and in touch with his feelings, but unfortunately, they all have boyfriends already. (Cliche, yes, but true; the only guy I've ever really really cared for emotionally, was gay.)
-------------------- "Shakespeare and Dante divide the world between them. There is no third." - T. S. Eliot Posts: 77 | From: New Milford, CT | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Llewtrah: I know what you mean The fact I can fix loads of stuff around the house and am competent at DIY seems to go against me!
Well I have a window that needs fixing if you are not busy. Posts: 130 | From: Kingdom of Northumbria | Registered: Jan 2005
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I used to think I really loved the guy I dated up until this year. He was just what I thought I wanted, then he was gone, and when he came back, he was different. Every once in a while that part of him that I'd fallen for would peek out and give me hope, but he never came all the way back. Even so, he kept me around and I tried to help him get himself back together.
Then he made it clear that he didn't want to put himself back together, and that I was just someone to be used until he got back into the swing of partying. The mature, thoughtful guy I knew had been replaced with an immature, inconsiderate asshole who acted strangely (even though I was supposed to be a trusted friend), then just suddenly cut off all communication with me. I found out via Facebook that the reason was that he'd picked up some chick at a party that he was now in an "open relationship" with.
It wasn't so much that he was dating someone else - we hadn't really been "dating" for a long time... but that he would cut off such a close friendship of close to four years for some party girl who embodied all the things he used to tell me he hated in a girl? And he didn't even have the balls to at least tell me... I don't know, "I can't talk to you anymore, it makes her jealous" or whatever his "reason" was. It was crushing.
I've always felt older than my classmates. I have a hard time relating to them. I'm not a party girl, barely even qualify as a social drinker, and my interests lean toward the geeky, but not geeky enough for me to fit in with the geek cliques. I've been mistaken for a young professor, and often a grad student. I just don't understand a lot of people my age. The idea of getting drunk on purpose, of random hook-ups, all these things people I know think are freaking awesome, well, they disgust me. I don't like clubbing, I hate dressing to show skin, and I try to avoid acting like an airhead in public. I also won't do anyone else's homework for them. In short, I don't exhibit behavior guys here seem to be drawn to. The people who think the same way I do tend to either be married or unattractive to me (either wrong gender, orientation, etc., not in a "not pretty enough" way).
After that guy, I didn't feel free... I just felt like a loose thread. Sure, I was surrounded by guys, it was a college campus, but I couldn't seem to scrounge up attraction to any of them. I've never been one to develop crushes or anything like that, and it is the strangest feeling to have your female friends gushing about someone and for you to just sit there going "I really don't see what the big deal is." But that was me. I needed someone who was intellectually stimulating above all, not just eye candy. I wasn't even looking forward to dating again anyway. It's awkward and stressful and it would require me finding someone who seemed somewhat compatible and attractive to me, which seemed impossible in the first place, considering what I am and where I live.
Fortunately, such a being ran into me a couple months later. Yay for fellow displaced Midwesterners. Not only did we have a LOT in common, we also had similar experiences with the "I'm 22, dating and partying are way overrated, all I want is to settle down with one person that loves me" feeling. I realized that whatever I had with the dumbass referred to above was nothing, not compared to what I have now, even if we do have to be apart for a while. If I can find one, there's hope for us all, heh.
Have I mentioned how freaking screwed up life can be lately?
-------------------- This has been yet another... USELESS POST. Posts: 6105 | From: Mississippi | Registered: Sep 2001
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I sympathize completely. I've been sans girlfriend for three and a half years, and previous to that there was a gap of five years flying solo. I go on a lot of first dates and a handful of second ones, but nothing that ultimately works out. It's kind of an uphill battle: I literally have no single friends in this city, none of my attached friends seem to know anyone they can fix me up with, I'm not a drinker so I can't stand the bar scene...the internet personals are good to a point, but after four years of them I'm always on the verge of saying "This is the last batch of credits I'm buying." I'm no Brad Pitt but I'm certainly not monstrous, I'm employed, creative and independent, and I actually have been involved with some staggeringly beautiful women in my life, so it's not completely out of the realm of possibility. Why it hasn't happened of late, I'm totally stumped.
Here's something that scared me a bit recently: I found myself talking via email and on the phone with someone I met through the 'net, and things got pretty intense, real fast. We ultimately decided after meeting that we'd work better as friends--and, for once, it's actually worked out that way, we still talk all the time. Before we met though, it hit me: I'm just used to being alone. It's a fact of life for me. And though I'm lonely, a big part of me feels, well, look what I'd have to give up if I got into a relationship. As it stands I can watch the movies/TV I want, I can go to the gym when I feel like it, my schedule is my own, my money is my own, there's none of the relationship BS like pretending to like all her friends or all her family. It's a horrible feeling to recognize oneself as being simultaneously very lonely and totally selfish about one's own time and energy. That realization hasn't helped my state of mind lately.
But I keep plugging away...I still use the personals, I go to the occasional club night, I go to any party to which I get an invite, I'm starting up another small short film production which will let me shine a bit and bring me into contact with other creative folks. Nothing else I can do, nothing else I should do.
Max "has she got a friend for me?" Renn
-------------------- Sister Ann: DRIVE! DRIVE Crow T. Robot: Look, I'm already driving, there's no inherent quantity of driving that I can increase! If you want me to go faster, you should say so. Posts: 579 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl: And still wonder things like "is the fact that I can change my own car battery counting against me!"
I know what you mean The fact I can fix loads of stuff around the house and am competent at DIY seems to go against me!
I doubt it. You're probably not gonna hit it off with anybody that would dislike you because y'all are smart or are good at so-called "guy" things anyway.
"Guys don't like me because I'm smart and can install hardwood floor" is the companion argument to "girls don't like me because I'm too nice." If these are truly reasons that someone is not attracted, then there are serious, profound value differences that are likely to preclude a long-term relationship anyway.
One of the sexiest pictures I have of an ex-girlfriend is of her changing the plugs on my '79 Datsun 510 hatchback. That's where I'm comin' from.
Posts: 741 | From: Big Bend, Texas | Registered: May 2004
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I got all of you beaten. Hands down. Mostly due to my shyness and the fact I hate crowds I have never had a girlfriend. NO relationships. I have this one girl but what we have is very loose mostly due to distance. More like a deep friendship where a couple times a year we meet up and get physical while hanging out.
I have a kitty and he helps the loneliness but I have made an art of being single and not even noticing when a girl digs me. And yes at 24 years old I'm getting to the point where I am starting to hate it at times.
-------------------- Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions. Posts: 76 | From: Dublin, GA | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl: And still wonder things like "is the fact that I can change my own car battery counting against me!"
I know what you mean The fact I can fix loads of stuff around the house and am competent at DIY seems to go against me!
HA! That's the kind of girl I look for. Mostly cause I can't do crap to fix stuff around the house. But I can cook quite nicely and am very good at other stuffs like getting everything done with time for fun.
-------------------- Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions. Posts: 76 | From: Dublin, GA | Registered: Feb 2006
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Astra-You sound like me! Where were you when I was single? Oh, right, at the other end of the country.
I felt exactly like that up till the end of college, when my friend convinced me to start dating online. I dated 3 girls in 3 years, and none of them lasted that long.
Now I've been with my current girlfriend for 8 months (last Sunday!). She's really the first good one. All this time I've been looking for a girl with the same qualities that Astra described, and I finally found her.
Now, of course, I won't say everything is 100% perfect. Obviously, it's not, that's unrealistic. But every time something goes a little sour, we work it out. We're that willing to stay with each other that we'll talk our way through any issue, simply because breaking up would be worse than learning to accept each other's flaws.
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I found that I couldn't attract anyone until I had not only resigned to being single, it wasn't until I actually worked on my self esteem that I became more... attractive to others.
For about a dozen years after I graduated from High School, I spent most of my time bitching to any and all that were within earshot (not necessarily that WANTED to listen!!), just how sucky it was to be single, and how bad my life sucked...
Others call it different things, but once I PERSONALLY had pulled my head out of my fourth point of contact and saw that life WASN'T as sucky as I thought, and the world itself wasn't as sucky as I thought.
Once THAT happened, I was suddenly surrounded by women that laughed at my jokes, actually WANTED to hold conversations with me... and some even wanted to get frisky. I really DID enjoy being single - but not because I was single - I enjoyed being ME!
Of course, I went and screwed it all up hearing a REALLY interesting laugh and deciding that I needed to see who made it... then deciding to get to know the person that owned those deep brown eyes and had made that laugh.
We've been married for just under fourteen years - and I still enjoy being me...
-------------------- Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...
Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it. Posts: 5622 | From: Jax, Florida | Registered: Nov 2003
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quote:Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl: And still wonder things like "is the fact that I can change my own car battery counting against me!"
I know what you mean The fact I can fix loads of stuff around the house and am competent at DIY seems to go against me!
I doubt it. You're probably not gonna hit it off with anybody that would dislike you because y'all are smart or are good at so-called "guy" things anyway.
"Guys don't like me because I'm smart and can install hardwood floor" is the companion argument to "girls don't like me because I'm too nice." If these are truly reasons that someone is not attracted, then there are serious, profound value differences that are likely to preclude a long-term relationship anyway.
One of the sexiest pictures I have of an ex-girlfriend is of her changing the plugs on my '79 Datsun 510 hatchback. That's where I'm comin' from.
I am not saying "guys don't like me because I can tape and mud sheetrock like a pro". I wonder if this is one of the many things that make me unfeminine in a guy's mind.
I am the capable woman who is still expected to do heavy lifting if I am wearing a cocktail dress and spike heels while the delicate flowers sit around in their sweats. I know I am not the only one. But I sometimes wonder if being a little more in need of help would make me more attractive.
Then I think "But I don't want someone with whom I can't be myself." So there.
Because I am frequenly "one of the guys", I fear perpetually being so. Does that make more sense?
-------------------- There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004
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This guy wrote a book? Doesn't he have an editor who can explain the difference between an adjective and an adverb?
Posts: 763 | From: Chicago | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl: Because I am frequenly "one of the guys", I fear perpetually being so. Does that make more sense?
Yes it does, in the sense you fear it.
This sounds just like a Lizzie McGuire ep that I watched with my daughter. Read it here
So what if you are a guy-girl, tom-boy or "one of the guys". That just makes you a strong woman and I don't just mean muscles. Personnally, I find those characteristics to be very attractive in a woman. And the fact that you mentioned wearing a cocktail dress and heels, suggests that you can be "girly" too. From a guy's point of view (and remember all men are pigs ), that's an added bonus.
22 years ago, I met someone like that. We've been married for over 20 years.
-------------------- Where I come from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it History. Posts: 506 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Oct 2005
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Like most of you all, I alternate between being protective of my "alone" time and feeling horribly lonely. The other singles who work at the school are all in their twenties or early thirties (I hit the Big Five Oh last Sept.), except one gent in his fifties who comes across as scared to death of women. His one topic of casual conversation is sports minutiae, something at the bottom of my list of interesting subjects. People have pretty much given up trying to fix me up with someone.
I'm old-fashioned enough to be still leery of personal ads, both in print and online.
Anyone who wants to start a Snopes Lonely Hearts Club can expect to find me there!
-------------------- Si hoc comprehendere potes, gratias age magistro Latinae. Posts: 1720 | From: Charlottesville, VA | Registered: Jan 2003
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I am 21, male, and haven't had a girlfriend for... lemme see... 39 months and counting. The confusing thing is that, like some of the girls here, I can not understand why. I don't go out all clingy and desperate to find a partner, but that's just me. I don't do that with friends either and as such have a zillion aquaintances and few friends. Maybe being more desperate and sad would increase my chances of meeting some clingy bint. Who knows.
Like some of the girl here too, I consider myself perfectly self-sufficient. I have my hobbies, I have my studies, I have my job and plenty of money, and I can cook/clean for myself. I don't need a maid. This seems to count against me.
I figured that it was my hideous body and looks before. Now it turns out that's not true.
God, all this people politics makes me want to move to Greenland. Fancy moving to Greenland, mosh?
ETA: I'm not worried per se about being single. I try to enjoy my single time. My only annoyance is that I can't provide myself with a vagina hence I want kids, and I'm going to have to meet someone in order to do so. Or perhaps I could find an egg doner and a surrogate. If that's what it comes to.
Posts: 1985 | From: Reading, England | Registered: Dec 2002
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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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I am not single now, and haven't been single for more than a few days since I was 16. I don't think it is because I am needy or because I have low standards, but because I really love companionship and have been really lucky in identifying my next companion very quickly after getting rid of the last one. But one thing that I do think I missed out on is dating to meet people. When I think of the single life, I think of new people, going out casually on the weekends, and getting to know people without being *locked in* (so if you find something you don't like there is less agonizing over whether or not this is a deal breaker). So in some ways when someone tells me that they are out of a long relationship and ready to get back out there, I am thinking "Wow, so lucky! Dating must be so much fun!" I know this is a romanticized view of dating, and that meeting people is easier said than done, and I wouldn't leave a relationship just to get into the dating pool, but in my mind there is a lot of fun to be had out in the dating world.
-------------------- I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.
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