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» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » Rantidote » Letters You Wish You Could Send--May 2006 (Page 4)

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Author Topic: Letters You Wish You Could Send--May 2006
Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by lavender blue:
quote:
Originally posted by Zorro:
It's down the shore.

Funny, my friends and I spent 30 minutes at dinner today discussing this exact phrase, and how it's pretty much unique to NJ.
I know, I get made fun of by my out-of-state friends each time I say this phrase. [Roll Eyes] [Big Grin]

--------------------
"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

Posts: 2861 | From: New Jersey | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
creative gal
Deck the Malls


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Dear G (or J),

Ok, you know what I've finally grasped, after these weeks and months of you being an arrogant, two faced,pain in the arse? I really don't care whether you like me or not. Everyone else on the corridor is able to speak to me normally and not ignore me flat out when I say hey, but then berate me for what is really usual corridor noise, so it really is your loss. One thing though, if you're going to ignore me, please make it a permanent fixture. That really would be great.
Btw, if you DO happen to complain to me about the way I walk through the corridor one more time, I'll just smile sweetly and walk away, rather than trying to justify myself, have to relent and agree with you, and resist the urge to punch you in your pig headed face.

Creative Gal

Dear Self,

You can do this! You've got less than two weeks before you go home, but an awful lot of work to do in between now and then. You've got this far, and just need to push yourself a little more. Resist the urge to procrastinate, and stuff will get done quicker, and you'll be about to enjoy this weekend far more.

Love

yourself.

--------------------
Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down..

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chillas
Coventry Mall Carol


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Dear Bettie Page Turner:

I love my Mustang. She is my baby. It's a 2004, the year before they did the major redesign. I like the new one's, too. They've got a nice retro look to them.

I can only speak for the one I have, but there's plenty of leg room in the front seat and I'm very comfortable in it for long drives. Of course, there's the winter frustration issue - I want to put the top down! Warm up, dammit!

Also, the gas mileage has been better than you'd probably think - about 27mpg. Of course, I don't have the GT.

All in all, I have to say I love the car, don't want to give it up, and would suggest to anyone who is thinking about a covertible that they check it out. =)

~chillas

--------------------
Come on, come on - spin a little tighter
Come on, come on - and the world's a little brighter


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Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Dear Immune System,

I've written this letter before, but I'd like to take this opportunity to reiterate:

YOU SUCK.

You under react during winter, which means I'm always sick. You overreact in spring, when the temperatures are rising and everything is all pretty and I want to be outside. CAN WE PLEASE FIND A HAPPY MEDIUM?????

With much bitterness and hatred,
Zorro

--------------------
"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

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creative gal
Deck the Malls


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Dear library/ whoever was responsible for putting books on short loan,

Argh. You've added alot of pressure to an already rather stressful day, what with only two old books on short loan, and very little in there was relavant to what I'm writing about. I just want to do my essay without having to rush to do all the research. Damn you for making me so stressed you forced me onto snopes! (ok, perhaps that's a bit far fetched, but I would have resisted the lure of snopes until either tomorrow or later on..)
Sort it out,
A very flustered student.

Dear Dad,
I know you're only trying to help, but really, at the moment, when I've got lots of other things to be thinking about, I don't need your lecturing about finding a job. I'm very stressed out, and don't need more stress on top of it.
Love
L.

--------------------
Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down..

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Senior
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by creative gal:
Dear Dad,
I know you're only trying to help, but really, at the moment, when I've got lots of other things to be thinking about, I don't need your lecturing about finding a job. I'm very stressed out, and don't need more stress on top of it.
Love
L.

Schooldays End
by Ewan MacColl

Schoolday's over, come on then John, time you was puttin' your pit boots on.
On with your sark and moleskin trousers, time you was on your way.
Time you was learnin the pitman's job, and earning a pitman's pay.

Come on then Jim, it's time to go, time you was working down below.
Time to be handling a pick and shovel, you start at the pit today.
Time you was learning the collier's job, and earning a collier's pay.

Come on then Dai, it's almost light, time you was off to the anthracite.
The morning mist in on the valley, it's time you was on your way.
Time you was learning the miner's job, and earning a miner's pay.

ęStorm King Music

--------------------
Ad astra per asparagus.

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Moeko'sOwl
Deck the Malls


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Senior, that's terrific. It makes me think about the mining history in the part of PA I come from.

--------------------
We are all equal, be it before the eyes of God, or for our own sake. We are all worthy of the same fundamental rights, freedoms, and, protections. Mindless hatred is unjustifiable. -Squoval

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creative gal
Deck the Malls


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Senior, are you suggesting I have have it easy? [Wink] I know things could be alot more difficult, but am still struggling, and just overwhelmed with stress about my uni work at the moment.

--------------------
Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down..

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Senior
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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No, cg, I'm not suggesting that. I read the post and immediately thought of the MacColl song. What with you being in Wales and the song about Welsh miners (not a lot of Geordie miners named Dai), I posted it.

I apologize if I seemed to be trivializing your problems. That wasn't my intention.  -

--------------------
Ad astra per asparagus.

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unbroken
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Dear Thesis,

Good lord, I hate you.


Dear Kopparberg Mixed Fruit,

Why oh why must you be 7% alcohol. And so yum. I'm three-quarters of the way through a 500ml bottle and I am as drunk as all get out. FFS.

--------------------
Oddly enough, the island of Ireland looks remarkably like a small old man driving an old Ford Fiesta.

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creative gal
Deck the Malls


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Opps, sorry Senior. Couldn't quite tell if you were kidding... Hee hee, at least I won't have to work down mines to earn my keep! I will be far away from Wales anyway once I've finished my degree.

--------------------
Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down..

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lavender blue
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Zorro:
quote:
Originally posted by lavender blue:
quote:
Originally posted by Zorro:
It's down the shore.

Funny, my friends and I spent 30 minutes at dinner today discussing this exact phrase, and how it's pretty much unique to NJ.
I know, I get made fun of by my out-of-state friends each time I say this phrase. [Roll Eyes] [Big Grin]
Well, I'm new to NJ, so I'd never heard it before. So when one of my friends said that she was going "down the shore" to see a performer, I said "What?". Which lead to the discussion. I have to admit I'm still confused as to what the geographical limits are to the "down the shore" area, but now I know another way to confuse my family when I go back to CA.

--------------------
catagenesis [evol]-evolution leading to decadence and decreased vigor.

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Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Well, from my point of view (I grew up in Bergen County), "down the shore" means anywhere In Jersey with a beach. M, of course, MV.

--------------------
"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

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Senior
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I thought that locations in New Jersey were determined by which exit from the Turnpike was taken to get there.

--------------------
Ad astra per asparagus.

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Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Not neccessarily. I grew up pretty far from the Turnpike and couldn't tell you what exit on the Turnpike to get to my hometown. The Turnpike as directional is useless if you live in the western half of NJ. (I grew up in Oakland, in western Bergen County, and I currently live in Somerset County.) I think I could count on one hand the number of times I have actually driven on the Turnpike.

--------------------
"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

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CherryQueen
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Oliver Peapie,
Why are you so bitey all of a sudden? You weren't like that till we moved you up here with the other doggies. Is it because you have too much testosterone or is something else wrong? Cause we're fixing you in a couple of weeks. Please stop growling at me and snapping at me when I pet you. You've gotten me good a couple of times. Your momma just wants to love on you. She loves you even if you bite her, but all the same if you could stop after you get fixed she'd like that.

Momma

--------------------
"Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com

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ChickyBee
Deck the Malls


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Dear friend of MIL,

"Now you just have to get married and you'll be a real family."

I'm sorry but not being married does not make the Rooster, The Hatchling & myself any less of a family unit. Where the hell do you get off saying that anyway? Do you really think this relationship would be strengthened by us getting married 'because we should'? I'm happy, The Rooster is happy and the Hatchling isn't crying, so I'll assume he's happy.

Screw you. That was really rude and uncalled for.

Chicky

--------------------
So many people are hung up on achievements. What did you do today? What are you planning? Sometimes, just getting through the day is an achievement in itself.

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skrap
Minnow Way Out


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quote:
Originally posted by CherryQueen:
Oliver Peapie,
Why are you so bitey all of a sudden? You weren't like that till we moved you up here with the other doggies. Is it because you have too much testosterone or is something else wrong? Cause we're fixing you in a couple of weeks. Please stop growling at me and snapping at me when I pet you. You've gotten me good a couple of times. Your momma just wants to love on you. She loves you even if you bite her, but all the same if you could stop after you get fixed she'd like that.

Momma

Dear Jake,
Pretty much what CherryQueen said, except for the other dogs. Your bitting has gotten much worse in the last few weeks. We have to wait 3 more months to get you fixed and microchiped so please stop biting so much right now,it really hurts.
love
mommy

--------------------
The Quiet One

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lavender blue
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear women sitting behind me at the ballet-

Yes, I know we were at a matinee of a 'kids' ballet with lots of kids around. But that's no excuse for you to be chattering! You're not 5. You don't need to have the show explained to you. And while the show had some... unique... variations on the basic story*, you don't need to discuss these at the exact moment that they happen-that's what intermissions are for!

Seat B15, balcony

* The most 'interesting' of these was to have the Prince do the final pas de deux sans shirt-yowza!

--------------------
catagenesis [evol]-evolution leading to decadence and decreased vigor.

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CherryQueen
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Oliver Peapie,
Why do you only bite me and not your daddy? I can't even figure out what sets you off... sometimes you'll be being sweet and then suddenly start growling and snap at me. PLease stop, you're scaring your momma. She's afraid you're sick or something.

Momma

--------------------
"Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com

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24K_ Kate
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Dear stomach,
What is up with you? I don't like the waves of nausua that come at random times. I thought the plain rice I had for dinner would make you happy. WTF is your problem*? Please settle down- I have to go to work tomorrow, and I don't need you interupting my day.

Love,
Your host.

*And yes, I am 100% certain that I do not need to start posting in this thread.

--------------------
<---Callisto

I have a 60 second snack idea for Rachel (Ray): Xanax, vodka, fall asleep.--Adrianne Frost, Best Week Ever.

Posts: 2374 | From: Naw-fik, VA y'all | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Aud
We Three Blings


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Dear sheep,
It's bad enough that you throw money at a charlatan. Don't be rude to me. LOOK at the words on the booth where I am standing. LOOK at the words on my badge. They do not match the words on yours. I am so very sorry that your charlatan is taking your money and not spending any on adequate signage. Your single word questions barked at me mean nothing.
I have picked up a few tidbits of information about your con even though that's not my job.
The bitch is in hall A.

The convention where I am working overlaps a convention for Slyvia Browne or something. There are psychics and broomstick skirts and women of a certain age every freaking where. Even the ones who start out "I don't know if you can help me but..." are rude when it turns out I can't.

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Izzy Quigley
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear Synthesis Paper,

I would like to tell you to drop dead, but a) you are not animate and b) except for a singularly cruddy opening paragraph, you do not exist yet.

I hate you I hate you I hate you! *spits blood*

Bitterly,
Izzy


Dear self,

Why are you so lazy? You can't stay on task while doing homework, you've developed a potentially disastrous habit of turning your alarm off and going back to sleep, and you put everything off until the last minute even though you always end up getting burned for it. You've always been reasonably conscientious until this past year.

Honestly, snap out of it before you make a mess of your academic career. Do you want to work at the factory for the rest of your life?

Exasperatedly,
Your Superego

--------------------
A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!"

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monkey
Happy Holly Days


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Dear left boob,
Stop hurting! You've had eleven months to get used to this nursing thing - you shouldn't be getting plugged ducts now. Ouch!
-owner of the body

Dear finals,
Wanna wait another week? I don't feel like studying.
-a lazy student

--------------------
http://sarahdwebber.wordpress.com/

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Magdalene
Happy Holly Days


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Dear R,

With your selfish and thoughtless "it's all about me" attitude (see my "Angst" rant), I have to say I'm shocked that you're down two marriages.

Mainly because I'm surprised you found two women foolish enough to marry you in the first place.

Loose my contact info. I lost yours.

Magdalene

--------------------
"Don't mess with me. I dance with swords."

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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Dear Grandma,
Give them hell up there. I'm gonna miss you, a lot, and I'm crying a lot, but at least you got to go out on your own terms.
Jennie

--------------------
I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

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Franny
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear MIL,
Please do not mess everything up when you visit tomorrow. Please do not be a bitch. I am always nice to you; please be nice to your son.

Franny

--------------------
I've been waiting here for like 20 minutes.

"It's you, but distilled into one place." - JK. http://www.theheldhand.blogspot.com/

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Ms. Kringle
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Dear Head,

Knock off the nasty headache. I don't have time for a migraine, and I don't NFBSKing feel like having one, either.

You will either knock it off, or in the next few days, we will simply see the doctor for some decent painkillers, and nap all day.

And then we will go back on the migraine meds, just to keep this from happening again.

I'm not playing, Head, we're NOT going to have this headache tomorrow.

Sincerely,

The Owner

--------------------
Beware corporate zombies! They will purchase your brain on E-Bay!

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ladyknight
The First USA Noel


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Dear Mom,
Yay! Thanks for sending me that money you'd been promising too for four weeks. It really came in handy!
Love,
Your daughter

Dear Sweetheart,
Thank you so much for a great weekend! First, looking at rings. Yes, I was pissed when the guy acted like I was a supergenius for knowing my own fricking ring size, but overall it was a nice experience. Just don't feel like you have to bankrupt yourself to get me something. You should know me well enough by now to know I simply don't care. And thank you, thank you, thank you for the math tutoring. I may actually have a chance of passing the GMAT today because of that. I'm definitely going to do more math questions tomorrow and ask you about those as well. I love you!
Me
ETA: Doing problems today rather than tomorrow.
Dear Random Guy at Arthur's Jewelers,
Alright, if BF and I have specifically told you that I'm not a participant in determining the cost of the ring, why, why, did you decide you needed to start talking about what the diamonds we looked at cost? It made me very uncomfortable, and you didn't seem to pick up on the faux pas until BF came right out and told you not to say anything, again! And then you acted like I was some sort of genius for knowing my own ring size! Being told, "Well, you're certainly the clever girl!" was not exactly what I considered a compliment. It's a good thing that the store you work at is so nice, or else I would be suggesting to BF that we go elsewhere.
Sincerely,
the fairly intelligent woman you insulted on Saturday

--------------------
Triumphs cannot be given. They must be taken, and the worse the odds, and the fiercer the resistance, the greater the honor. -- A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold

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Algae
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear Wasp:

Yeah. I'm glad DH was around to KILL YOU. I'm calling Terminix and demanding an emergency check of the house to make sure your friends aren't anywhere around and that you ALL DIE.

The Women that Owns the House

Dear Universe:

Okay, enough already. Dad's figured out his job is gone, DH is still looking, S is looking...can we speed up this process and get everyone jobs. Really, I'm sick of it.

Algae

Dear Plankton:

Sweetie, when Mommy goes to the bathroom, she's not leaving you. You don't need to worry about that. I'm here. I'm just in the other room. Please quit screaming everytime I leave your line of vision.

Mommy

--------------------
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Don't drink and derive!

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Wild.Otaku
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Dear TMBG,

Dudes! What was up with that concert. You really disappointed me. I was honestly hoping for a good 2 hour concert.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but when tickets state the show will begin at 8pm, one usually expects the opening act (which was HORRID btw)to last maybe 20 minutes then you guys come out.

It does not mean do a crappy 20 minute opening act, then let us wait another 40 minutes for you to come out and play for 1 hour. Yes, one hour. SO showed me his watch. It was only 10 by the time you left the stage. Even Wierd Al played longer than you did and he doesn't even have an opening act (usually, though I've heard that sometimes he will).

I'm sorely disappointed that the group I've loved for nearly 20 years has fallen short of my expectations. SO and I had a nice time in the Loop, despite two of the places we had considered eating at were closed and our third choice (Tomatillo's) sucked rocks. The only good stops were Star Clipper and Cioccolato.

I'm going to have to think about the next time you come to the area before I commit to buying tickets again.

--------------------
Tom, we're flying a giant robot into space! "Safe" isn't the first word that springs to mind! - Colleen, Last Hope, Vol.2

Posts: 2710 | From: Meet me in St. Louis | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ali_marea
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Dear powers that be (if there are any),

Please give us a break! First Jason went into the NICU for the pneumothorax. Then it was high bilirubin levels that kept him there. Then he wasn't eating properly or enough.

We only had him home for 5 days and it was back to the hospital for another week. We find out he has CAH. Every day for the rest of his life he has to take medication twice a day. If things get really bad he needs to have an emergency shot.

So we took him home and he started to thrive. He looked great, grew well, and ate like a champ. We even got used to the medications as a part of daily life and started to relax and just have fun.

Then we had a scary episode where Jason's lips turned blue and he had trouble breathing. Another 3 days in the hospital to find out he has reflux. Another daily medication.

We get him home and two weeks later he gets what I think is a cold. I took him to the doctor's office after he seemed to get worse. The doctor sends us to the ER where we're told there's nothing they can really do because it's viral. He took in enough oxygen, moved air well, and his oxygen saturation level was good. So we were sent home with a diagnosis of "most likely bronchialitis/RSV". Great. RSV. My biggest fear!

So now we're doing several breathing treatments a day and the baby is finally starting to get his energy back. He's eating almost as much as he normally had been. And he certainly smiles as much as he ever did. [Smile]

But because daycare is kept hot and dry, and that would just make Jason worse, we wanted to keep him home again today. Tomorrow he has to go to the gastroenterologist for his reflux. So I had to take today and tomorrow off. Then, of course, I get a call from work saying that the network is down, as are all the phones. Great. My job responsibilies, my second week back to work after maternity leave, and I have to miss something big like this. I wonder how pissed my boss is going too be.

Please. Powers that be. Let this be it for us. Let Jason get better, not worse. Let him stay healthy all summer and grow and thrive like any other baby. Let things with my job settle down and go well.

I just want us to enjoy life and relax.

sincerely,
a very weary ali_marea

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28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds. That is when the world will end.

Posts: 7158 | From: D.C. | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Loyhargil
We Three Blings


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Ali_Marea,

Positive thoughts from Kansas for you and Jason.

{{{hugs}}}


Dear J,

So I was in the shower (where I have most of my "lightbulb" moments) yesterday morning, when it finally dawned on me what you said on the phone the other night. In your little manipulative, passive/aggressive manner, you were pinning your moving away on ME, and that if you knew we'd move back, you might not have left.

HELLO!!!! The same night I told you we were moving, you told me you had already proposed to J2 and planned to move. Plus you said YEARS ago that you'd stay here as long as you could, but you eventually planned to move anyway. Only unfortunately, that's the opposite of what you told kiddo, which is why she's so angry and confused and sad now. You told her you loved her too much to ever move, and then you moved, so no wonder she thinks it's her fault, that she did something wrong.

But back to the topic - do NOT try to pin kiddo's feelings about your moving on me. You're going to have to step up and take responsibility for it. Nice try, though. The old me woulda fell for it.

Sincerely,

New Me


Dear New Me,

That was so good! Dang, took you two days before it even dawned on you that that's what he was doing with that statement. Rockin'! The Old Me would have immediately taken that once sentence to heart and started believing I was to blame, and been shamed and miserable. Way to go!

Sincerely,
New Me

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Bender: Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned. Ask not for whom the bone bones, it bones for thee.

Posts: 1170 | From: Iowa | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear W.G.,

How dare you do that to her? You call yourself a man of God, and yet you toy with someone's heartfelt desire like that? As far as I'm concerned, you are the scum of the earth, hiding behind collar and robes. If there is a hell, I hope you rot in it for this.

With burning anger,
Minstrel

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Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

Posts: 4926 | From: NW Ohio | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Gibbie
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Dear Floor guys,
Figure out the water thing, please? I don't want to get a plumber out there today and tomorrow. That will suck rocks. And cost a lot of money.

Signed,
Anxious homeowner

Dear lady at the floor store,
Call back and tell me what the floor guys said, please? I want to know if we'll be able to turn the water on again today or if I'm going to need a hotel for the night.
Signed,
Impatient, anxious homeowner

Dear Floor,
You better be worth the money and aggravation.

Signed,
Homeowner who wants a pretty new tile floor

--------------------
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posts: 3993 | From: Indiana | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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