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» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » Rantidote » Letters You Wish You Could Send--May 2006 (Page 14)

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Author Topic: Letters You Wish You Could Send--May 2006
NeeCD
Happy Holly Days


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Dear stuck-in-your-routine drivers,

The lights were not flashing. I realize that they just changed the signs in front of the schools, and that it used to be a 24/7 20mph zone, but guess what? If those lights aren't flashing, you can now do the normal speed limit. Wow, what a concept to actually read the sign and follow its instructions. Not only that, but you people all seem to drive 15mph! Not so bad (but still a little frustrating)in a 20mph zone, very noticable in a 25mph zone. Funny how that small change in the speed makes such a difference. Oh well, you're probably the same people who stop at the "no stop on a right turn" intersection, too. Please, just pay attention, that's all I'm asking.

Sincerely,
The person stuck behind you for 5 blocks.

--------------------
I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?

Posts: 1720 | From: Stafford Hamlet, OR | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Amigone201:
By the way, did I ever tell you about the magazine thing? Some kid came to my door peddling magazine subscriptions. Me and my roommate didn't want or need any, but we wanted to help the kid out. So we ordered a subscription to Jane, which he described as a "feminist lesbian" magazine, and had 2 years of it mailed to the AFA.

Heh. Have you ever tried sending them Playboy for a while? Or Playgirl?

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Dear neighbor down the hall:

You are going to have to realize that when I knock on my next-door neighbor's door, I am not knocking on your door. Stop coming outside and getting angry. I have no business with you, and I am not knocking on your door. I'm trying to get their damn dog to shut up. If you can't tell, use the peephole or look out the window. Is someone standing on your porch? No. I am standing on the neighbor's porch, knocking on their door. There's no reason for you to come out and get angry. And if I were you, I wouldn't piss me off, because I've already reported you for illegally leaving your garbage to rot on the stairs for two weeks. If I see that again, I WILL report you again, since I don't like coming home to a 15-pound raccoon eating out of your stairwell garbage.

--------------------
"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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NewZer0
Happy Holly Days


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Dear Self,

I know you feel fat. Partly it's because you just had a big dinner -- the only food you've had today, I might add.

Yes, we've gotten into some bad eating habits, but we can stop those.

Oh, and you could, you know, exercise.

It'll be okay. I love ya.

--Me

Dear Gang,

Why are all y'all so dang goofy? Sheesh.

--Me

--------------------
I study medieval literature because that's where the money is.

Posts: 1431 | From: Corvallis, OR | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ange84
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Dear cold,
Please go away, i have an interview on THursday and at the moment i am feeling like hell.
The cranky person you are inhabiting

Dear council,
Seriously what were you thinking on friday. The traffic was blocked up for over 5kms, between two school zones, so that you could work on the roundabout. Yes it did need work, but could you have chosen a better time, like late night or something, yes it would have cost a little bit more, but it would have saved alot of people the frustration, especially when picking kids up from school, that is one busy section of road, and i really don't want to take 30 mins to drive 3 kms to get to my house, and then when i need to go out again, take another 30 mins to get another 3 kms. As i said this is quite a busy stracth of road at that time of day, and if i could take an alternate route to my house i would, but there isn't one and theres no point going via the highway cause the traffic is backed up there too. Please don't have the same thing again today or else i will scream
The person who could barely get out of her own neighbourhood.

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Love is a sudden revelation: a kiss is always a discovery

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Dear hair,

Just once I wish you wouldn't do the Medusa look when it gets humid. 20 feet of dark brown and grey hair curling up to the ceiling is kinda frightning to the kids. Not to mention, I bent the tines on the iron rake trying to get the tangles out. Hubby's afraid you are going to attack him in his sleep!

Signed,
The head bending under your humid weight.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

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Christie
The Bills of St. Mary's


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Dear Charity Canvassers,

I know you are going door to door collecting for a cause that is near and dear to your heart. In truth I'd love to give to every good cause but I just cannot do it. Please don't try to make me feel guilty when I say no. I really do give to quite a few charities already. Sometimes I have to say no. And you know what? Even if I didn't already give to charity it's still not cool to try to play the guilt card. Grow up!

Signed,
I was just sitting here in my own house minding my own business when...

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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Dear Long-Lost M,

I see you read the e-mail. Please do write back. I miss you.

P2BP,
Starla

_________________

Dear MG,

I'm glad you finally see it. Now, please do follow through. This is something no one else can do for you; you have to do it yourself and for yourself.

Much Love,
Starla

--------------------
This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear Lucas,

You are a mental puppy doggie. We know you were only doing your job, protecting your homestead, when you barked at Ma and bit her hand. Ma says it's not your fault, she should've known better. We went to the hospital, and they said by law, we have to report you bit her to the police. Don't feel bad. One of my old doggies nipped me once, and she had to report her! Our own doggie! So don't worry or feel bad. You were only doing your job, and Ma doesn't blame you.

-The human with Rory you bark at
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Ma,

Glad you're ok with the hand. Ok, that one finger's knuckle was a mess, them having to stitch a ligament. You have to watch out for that stuff - wounds on a diabetic are not good things!
Don't feel bad or that you dragged me out to the hospital with you. Bored? Are you kidding? I got to sit in the room with you and watch the doctor stitch you up a few feet away from me! It was cool! But then, you already knew I was a freak! [Big Grin]

-Trish "It was like live Discovery Health Channel surgery shows!" DaDish

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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FrogFeathers
Grandma Got Run Over By a Gift Card


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quote:
Originally posted by Amigone201:
By the way, did I ever tell you about the magazine thing? Some kid came to my door peddling magazine subscriptions. Me and my roommate didn't want or need any, but we wanted to help the kid out. So we ordered a subscription to Jane, which he described as a "feminist lesbian" magazine, and had 2 years of it mailed to the AFA.

I've subscribed to "Jane" for years. I never found it feministic or lesbianistic (I think I just made up that word). Its a funny, well-written chick magazine that doesn't overly-focus on the whole make-up-relationship-orgasm issues like "Cosmo" and "Glamour".

But I like where you had it sent. [lol]

--------------------
"Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K
Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website
"Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something.

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Lydia Oh Lydia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Dear DH,

We are moving. It is so not cool that you decided to sit on your behind and watch tv while I spent those two hours packing. It is also not cool that you still haven't had the new utilities despite promising to do that weeks ago.

Oh, and there is no way I'm getting stuck cleaning this entire house by myself before we move out.

--Your frustrated DW

****
Dear self,

You're moving in 5 days. Try not to get overly stressed.

--Me

****
Dear PA,

Please don't make things hard when we change vehicle regstrations, etc.

--Your soon-to-be new resident

--------------------
"My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League.

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MaidenAthene
Deck the Malls


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Dear Ears:

No, we aren't going through this crap again. No EFFIN way are we getting another ear infection. There's no reason for this to happen. I am NOT going to go to the ER with no insurance for them to give me a 900 dollar bill for tylenol and perscriptions to 100 dollar antibiotics that i can't pay for anyway. NO. WAY.
-Athene

Circadian Rythym:

The hell? I mean, what the fudge!? You suddenly decide um, sleeping is optional? Get back together, man!
-Athene

--------------------
ďWe live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.Ē - Marilyn Manson
"Well, end more, your not ending enough!" - MST3K

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Winter Morning
Deck the Malls


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Dear Br'er Fox:

Thank you! Thank you for making a very tired, very hot, and in pain grown-up woman smile and laugh out loud. Thanks for coming up to me as I was sitting in the shade near the show spot and giving me a hug and letting me have my picture taken with you. Thanks for making the "magic" happen for me that day at WDW. I wish I knew how to tell your bosses what a wonderful character actor you are. I truly had a Zippedy Doo Dah day!

Fan for life,

Mournful

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Dear Mom:

Thank you for wanting to help me. But I can't let you borrow thousands of dollars on your house to fix my problems.

If you want to help, there are things you can do without putting yourself farther into debt. Thanks again, and I love you.

Lainie

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Para
Deck the Malls


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To the strange lady who says she's from a non-profit pro-family film organization who just called me;

What the heck is your deal? I appreciate that you didn't ask for any money, or to send me pamphlets. Really, I do. But what the hell? You browbeat me about how "standards are slipping" and "Hollywood releases 12 non-family films for every family-oriented film!" I don't know how you plan on making Hollywood "revise standards and bring up the number of family films", or where you get all that propaganda you spewed onto me like vomit from an airsick toddler. I don't know and I don't appreciate it.

I also don't appreciate you talking over me and interrupting when you'd clearly just asked my opinion. I do find your attitude when you basically hung up on me amusing, though.

No love, and please don't call again.

~Para

--------------------
"But what of the golden spider-duck and the squat crimson pig?"

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Phil'sGirl
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Dear Traffic Officers,

Okay, I get you had to make a detour for traffic because of the parade.

But couldn't you have stationed ONE officer in my neighborhood to discourage people from running the stop sign?


I really don't like that the only officer I saw let 7 people run the sign, then ran the sign herself!!

For pity's sake, don't you people know how to do your NFBSKing jobs? What are my tax dollars paying for, doughnut runs?

Phil's reason #117 why I hate parades Girl

________

Dear idiot in the '77 Celica,

Why were you honking at the driver in front of you when the light was clearly red? Are you colorblind?

Dear idiot in the '83 T-bird,

So he honked at you repeatedly.

Why did you run the red light?

Phil's glad I don't drive Girl

--------------------
"Nobody ever looks like McCarthy, sir. That's how they get in the door in the first place" Toby on The West Wing

Posts: 816 | From: Washington State | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Em
Happy Holly Days


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Dear metabolism,

Thanks for the depressing body image moment yesterday. I was trying on clothes in a changing room with one of those 45° angle mirrors and got a good look at myself from the side while topless. Not pretty.

I know Iím too thin, but compared to my brother Iím actually the short, fat one in the family. I've had it with this genetic predisposition thing! I donít see how it would be physically possible for me to eat any more than I already do. I eat fast food, lots of carbs, I leave the fat on my meat, have full-cream everything, non-diet drinks, nutritional supplements Ö the works. So why have I stalled at 65kg? Canít I at least get up to 70 again?

No wonder I'm still single. Nobody should have ribs which stick out like that. Itís just wrong.

Give me a break... please?

Your host.

--------------------
What the NFBSK does YOMANK mean?

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Bettie Page Turner
Happy Holly Days


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Dear brain,
What depraved and horrifying corner did you pull that dream from last night? The dream itself was bad enough...the sound effects were REALLY unnecessary.
Your owner

--------------------
You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling

Posts: 1762 | From: Charleston, West Virginia | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear County Councilman:
While I'm amazed that you had the balls to appear on the local talk show I heard this morning, that didn't give you the right to be rude to the host and to callers. These are your consitutients you fool and you treated all of them like dog NFBSK on your shoe. Just when I thought politicians couldn't get any more arrogant, along comes someone who actually is. [Eek!]

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear Ma,

Wow. Infected dog bite, now. Possible surgery, now. Not good on a diabetic. You get well in the hospital, me & Rory the Wonder Dog will hold the fort.

-Trish

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Dear summer undergraduate student:

We are getting off to a very bad start here. First there was the demand that I do my interesting lab work starting at 1:30 PM so you could see it. Um, no. I do not really fancy staying here until after dark for your educational benefit.

Now there is the matter of the assignment you were given one week ago today. An assignment that you were told precisely how to do. You were told where to go to find the references. The folks in that place are quite knowledgable. They could have helped you. I could have done the whole myself in an afternoon. Well, I have done something similar in an afternoon. I am being patient because I know I have been doing this for years.

But I suspect one of two things a. You are afraid of making an mistake, so you are waiting to be told every single step or b. You think that if you drag it out long enough, I will get tired of answering questions and do it for you. I suspect it's a little bit of both. B is not going to happen. A. Is not demonstrating a lot of initiative, which you were told at the beginning of this assignment was something that I required from students.

You are not part of some undergrad research experience. You are getting paid to help. So far you have been negative help. And annoying. But I cannot let on that you are annoying me.

Arrrggggh!
Dr. T

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
monkey
Happy Holly Days


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Dear husband,
You. Are. Wonderful. I have to admit I wasn't horribly impressed when my first Mother's Day consisted of a "home-cooked" meal prepared by you (frozen pasta heated up on the stove). It was nice, but I'd expected more. Turns out you had something better planned! This weekend, while we were in Dallas/Fort Worth, you took me to Saks Fifth Avenue in the mall and had me spend an hour with a Lancome makeup artist who taught me the fine art of putting on makeup without looking silly. You know my mom doesn't wear makeup and so never taught me how to apply it. You know now that I actually want to look like a woman on a daily basis, I've been frustrated that I don't do a good job of putting it on, and was too embarassed to ask a friend to teach me how. I felt incredibly pampered and spoiled being taught to apply makeup by a professional. And now I can't believe how pretty I look, and how little it takes to achieve this. You've increased my self-image a hundred fold. Happy Mother's Day to me! Thank you so much, darling. I love you.
-your wifey

Dear Self,
You've had two weeks of traveling all over the country, and now the only thing you want to do is relax. However, there's two weeks' worth of dirty laundry to wash, and piles of shopping to put away, and all kinds of clutter that needs taken care of. Spend the afternoon getting the house in order, and then you can rest. It's going to drive you crazy living in this mess.
-yourself

--------------------
http://sarahdwebber.wordpress.com/

Posts: 1490 | From: Arkansas | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
I'm 20th Century Fox
Happy Holly Days


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Dear topic-starter on the myspace thread:

I'm pretty glad I joined myspace.com. I never would've if I hadn't read that thread. Since I joined about a month ago, I've met a very nice man and been out on a date with him, and have another one coming up this Friday. So thank you, my social life is picking up. By the way, it was my first date in about 2 years.

Dear D,

Thanks for the great time Saturday! Getting to know you has brightened my life in a time when I least expected it.

Yours,

I'm Anya

--------------------
When my chin is on the ground I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

Posts: 1765 | From: Greensboro, NC | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Cinnamon
The First USA Noel


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Dear A,

He's gone - and I haven't said I told you so, have I? I know you're in pain about this, but it gets hard to be sympathetic when this is the third man you have supposedly been desperately in love with and going to marry in the past twelve months. Its always got to be drama with you and your relationships, hasn't it? If you could tone it down and not go straight to totally obsessive, heart break, yadda yadda yadda within half an hour of meeting a guy it would be appreciated.

I really don't mean to be a bitch about this, but you have got to stop this. It's completely unhealthy. And it's getting really boring. Three times in twelve months, honey - exactly how in love do you think you were?

And, of course, we've been tiptoeing around each other for weeks on this issue. There's no point whatsoever in us discussing it because we'll just have a row. You don't recognise that you have relationship issues and I don't want to keep on watching while you fall for completely inappropriate men.

Anyway, he's gone, and I just hope you didn't give him too much money over the last few weeks. I know you say he'll be back, but I just wonder how long that's going to last. Did he pay you for the phone by the way?

Hopefully next week's holiday should clear things up a bit.

With love and frustration,
C.

--------------------
My blog - a continuing obsession with my weight plus much randomness
My opinions on books, music, and other stuff

Posts: 845 | From: Gloucestershire, UK | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Dear Director S,

You will be getting a letter from me. Just not this one.

When you advertise auditions for an upcoming musical, it is misleading not to tell people that you have already cast the show. If they were auditions for the chorus, that's fine--but you should have told us that we were auditioning for just the chorus. Finding out after the audition that all the lead and all but one or two of the supporting parts had been pre-filled with people who didn't even have to audition seemed rather dishonest.

I won't even get into the fact that all of the people who were given parts or offered callbacks were members of your easily identifiable clique. My husband tells me that this is par for the course.

Now, I wouldn't be upset about not being offered a part if I had been given a fair audition and judged unsuitable. BTDT. But before the audition began, you made a point of announcing to the room that I was "New." I'm not new. I've been a member for a year, and I was a regular visitor for many months before that. When I wasn't allowed to sing on my own, I wrote it off to having stood behind you during the group singing, so you probably heard my voice fairly well. Then, on the cold readings, I was given one measley line. When you asked if I wanted to read more, I said yes, and then you left the room thirty seconds later, ending the auditions. I felt totally, intentionally snubbed (despite your sweet "Thank you for auditioning, BB!").

This may have been the first time I tried out for a musical with you, but it certainly wasn't the first time I've ever been on stage. I've been at some pretty odd auditions, but, really, this is the first time I've ever been at what was so obviously a non-audition, and seemed to be cunningly crafted to let us know who is in the in-crowd, and who is not.

So thank you for your offer of a role in the chorus. At this time, I am choosing to politely decline. Partly because I have lost all sense of joy in the prospect of being a part of this show, and partly because my husband and I are planning to spend the summer looking for a good place to transfer our membership.

BB


{{P.S. To Snopesters: The actual letter said "I won't be able to join the production after all. I wanted to let you know before you set the final cast. Best of luck with the show!"))

--------------------
"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

Posts: 858 | From: Arlington, Texas | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear TurquoiseGirl,

I was all set to defend that undergrad until the moment you said they were being paid. Now, I admit when I did my year's research, I had lots of questions at the start. Lots of "Why is this done this way?" and "What if this is done?" questions, but then I took those answers and used them to meaningful effect.

Yet, since this person is being paid, such questions should be followed by definite action. Tell them that their present course is unacceptable, and that unless they start pulling their weight, they're gone.

Signed,
Ca "Honors and proud" sey

--------------------
"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
Countdown: 177 days and counting... or less. My blog. 14 keyboards owed.

Posts: 5584 | From: Ohio | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Dear Comcast,

High Speed Internet, my ass. I am going to be SO glad when I get to escape from the region held under your monopolizing thumb and go some place where the cable company might actually care about its customers!

With much annoyance,
The Minstrel who Hates Your Sporadic Service

--------------------
Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

Posts: 4926 | From: NW Ohio | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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quote:
Originally posted by Casey, spraying whipped cream:
Dear TurquoiseGirl,

I was all set to defend that undergrad until the moment you said they were being paid. Now, I admit when I did my year's research, I had lots of questions at the start. Lots of "Why is this done this way?" and "What if this is done?" questions, but then I took those answers and used them to meaningful effect.

Yet, since this person is being paid, such questions should be followed by definite action. Tell them that their present course is unacceptable, and that unless they start pulling their weight, they're gone.

Signed,
Ca "Honors and proud" sey

Dear Casey, I don't mind those sorts of questions. These are more on the order of "what website do I go to finish this", when she has already been told where the information is.

The assignment was not hard. It was look up which of a certain class of compounds was available commercially. I gave her the three companies from which they are available.

They all have a similar structure except for a difference in alkyl chain length. Not that hard to figure out.

I am minding the failure to follow explicit directions irritating, not that she is asking questions.

Tomorrow I will write out step by step instructions. If she fails to have something to me by Friday, we are going to have a come to Jesus talk.

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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quote:
Originally posted by Casey, spraying whipped cream:
Dear TurquoiseGirl,

I was all set to defend that undergrad until the moment you said they were being paid. Now, I admit when I did my year's research, I had lots of questions at the start. Lots of "Why is this done this way?" and "What if this is done?" questions, but then I took those answers and used them to meaningful effect.

Yet, since this person is being paid, such questions should be followed by definite action. Tell them that their present course is unacceptable, and that unless they start pulling their weight, they're gone.

Signed,
Ca "Honors and proud" sey

Dear Casey, I don't mind those sorts of questions. These are more on the order of "what website do I go to finish this", when she has already been told where the information is.

The assignment was not hard. It was look up which of a certain class of compounds was available commercially. I gave her the three companies from which they are available.

They all have a similar structure except for a difference in alkyl chain length. Not that hard to figure out.

I am minding the failure to follow explicit directions irritating, not that she is asking questions.

Tomorrow I will write out step by step instructions. If she fails to have something to me by Friday, we are going to have a come to Jesus talk.

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Bettie Page Turner:
Dear brain,
What depraved and horrifying corner did you pull that dream from last night? The dream itself was bad enough...the sound effects were REALLY unnecessary.
Your owner

Dear Bettie:

I want details. (Specifically, I want to see if this is where you get many of your more disturbing posts from. [Razz] )

Canuck

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
RiotGirlHeather
Jingle Bell Hock


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Dear Older Sister,

I can't stand the sight of you anymore. This is gonna sound harsh, evil, and vile but I don't care, I don't care if you had a NFBSKing miscarriage. You'd been talking that you'd thought you were pregnant since you got back from New York. If you had a gut feeling that you were, you shouldn't have gotten drunk every other day and smoked pot just about as much. It's your own NFBSK fault you lost the baby.

Besides, you didn't need another one, you don't take care of the two you've got. Your four-year-old regularly calls me "mom," he doesn't even correct himself anymore. The seven-year-old has been calling me "mom" since he was two-years-old. As much as I love these boys, I wish they'd realize that I'm not their mommy. They think you don't love them. I'm beginning to wonder the same thing myself. Can you actually love someone other than yourself?

NFBSK off,
Heather Diane

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear John,

Thank you, thank you, thank you! No one's ever done something so sweet for me before! Thank you so much for the flowers and the candy. The flowers were beautiful and, well, you know how the candy tasted. You don't know how much you rock.

Love,
Heather

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dear Cupid,

I'm sorry about the whole wanting a hit taken out on you thing back in February. I just wish you'd gotten around to making John and I get together sooner, he's so awesome! If I'd known that you were actually gonna do your work a month late, I wouldn't have gotten as ill.

Later,
Heather

--------------------
Luke: I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.
Princess Leia: You're who?

Posts: 560 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Quttaus
I Saw Three Shipments


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Dear Chick,

I hope you gave Old Boney a good kick in his skeletal ass on your way out. Give him another one for me, if you can.

You handled the Big C better than anybody Ive ever met. I hope I can be half as strong as you were, the next time something happens to me.

We'll all miss you. A lot. God bless.

Quttaus

--------------------
"Hey! Let go of me before something horrible happens to me! OR ELSE!"
--Invader Zim

Posts: 92 | From: Southern NJ | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Raven Waift
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Bettie Page Turner:
Dear brain,
What depraved and horrifying corner did you pull that dream from last night? The dream itself was bad enough...the sound effects were REALLY unnecessary.
Your owner

Dear Bettie,

See, your problem is that you've got it all wrong. You don't own your brain your brain owns you [Big Grin]

Raven Waift

--------------------
Whereas as you are dancing happily in the fields of ignorance through which the stream of stupidity bubbles and flows. -BlushingBride
My my space.

Posts: 656 | From: Ohio | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Morgaine La Raq Star
The "Was on Sale" Song


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Dear possible job:

Please work out for me! I'd about given up home in getting a job in my top 5 & then this comes along. I'd love this job & the promise it can hold.


Dear self:

Don't freak out. Wear your nice clothes & makeup & you'll wow them. Just remember to *think* before you speak! Pausing to consider a question won't make you appear stupid. Blurting out the first thing that pops in your head can!

--------------------
I cannot live without books-Thomas Jefferson *~* A child educated only at school is an uneducated child - George Santayana
I'm going to pummel you with such zeal, Buddha will explode! *~* Never miss a good chance to shut up - Will Rogers

Posts: 6585 | From: Dallas/Fort Worth, TX | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
NewZer0
Happy Holly Days


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Dear Morgaine,

I've found that repeating the question out loud helps me think of a better answer; that way I'm sure I understand what the interviewer is asking me. If the interviewer says something, just explain you want to be sure you understand them 100%.

Knock 'em dead.

--NewZer0

Dear Queynte,

I'm really, *really* sorry. Really. Please calm down. We need to sleep. I'll switch to using the organic stuff all of the time, even if it is $18/bottle.

I love you. Please be well.

Love, Me

--------------------
I study medieval literature because that's where the money is.

Posts: 1431 | From: Corvallis, OR | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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