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Author Topic: People you hate... in general
Ana Ng
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I'm having one of my two "mad Kim" days annually- so bear with me. I figured I could rant a little, and then maybe you guys could tell me who's on your "people to kill" list this week. [lol]

Screams When She Sneezes Lady- this bitch takes ten years off your life if you sit with your back to her on the F train.

Dr. Insurance- is a triplicate prescription not enough authorization from my doctor? Screw you guys!

Mr. Stingy with the Guacamole- I asked for a lot! A pox on your ladle!

Backseat Driver Girl- I see the other cars. Trust me. I've been driving for 10 years. I can brake without your advice.

Ms. When I Have Kids- I don't care if you're going to use Prada Baby Bath and Gucci Diapers- you can't brag about it until you're doing it. Every day. 24/7.

Cpt. Obvious- why yes, I did think about calling the company, getting a new one, asking for a replacement. It didn't work, which is why I need another solution. And I didn't ask for your input in the first damn place!

Low-level Clerk with your life in her acrylic-tipped hands- I understand you need a cigarette, but you can save me $1,000 with 10 seconds of effort. I'm not asking you for a kidney!

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My great grandfather planted that tree!

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Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Ana Ng:

Screams When She Sneezes Lady- this bitch takes ten years off your life if you sit with your back to her on the F train.

I don't quite scream when I sneeze, but my sneezes do tend to be loud.

I'm having a relatively good week (so far), so I don't really have anyone in particular that I want to kill.

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My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Chatty Co-Worker: She babbles, snidely and without intelligence from 8:30 til she leaves. I am in trouble with my boss because I refused to write a letter to the court trying to get her out of jury duty this week. (two days of peace v. getting yelled at for 5 minutes = a NFBSKing great trade) She dramatizes everything she says into a life or death proposition

she once spent 22 minutes by the clock explaining to me that a mailing we were sending out needed an extra stamp because we added one too many sheets to the envelope. Her question, should she add the extra stamp. My answer is unprintable but involved the envelope, folding, many corners, and a semi-surgical insertion!

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'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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JFB
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Ana Ng:
Screams When She Sneezes Lady- this bitch takes ten years off your life if you sit with your back to her on the F train.

I always avoid those forward/backward facing seats because, among other things, I occasionally get bonked on the head by Big Hat/Hood Lady and Mr. Flop-Into-the-Seat-Like-He-Just-Lost-Consciousness.

Of course, the wall-backed seats have their characters too, which is why I never take a free seat on a crowded train.

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Kid Kilowatt
Deck the Malls


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I've got one major one -
"I'm Really Quite a Big Deal" Guy - Sir, I understand you may be one of your company's 4000 vice presidents, but there is no quicker way to make me NOT go the extra mile for you than to let me know that you expect it because you make a lot of money. I'm thisclose to just hanging up on you.

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The book says, "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
- Magnolia

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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The "move slowly down the sidewalk in an oblivious group and stop completely for no apparent reason" players. You can't pass them, you can't split them up, you can't get their attention.

Closely related to the "we don't know where we're going so we'll stand at the bottom of the escalator and wonder about it" brigade. It's an ESCALATOR, people! It will continue to dump other people off at the bottom whether you are standing there or not.

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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PallasAthena
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Kid, Kill. Oh, What?:
I've got one major one -
"I'm Really Quite a Big Deal" Guy - Sir, I understand you may be one of your company's 4000 vice presidents, but there is no quicker way to make me NOT go the extra mile for you than to let me know that you expect it because you make a lot of money. I'm thisclose to just hanging up on you.

Mr. I am the CTO of this company so move heaven and earth for me now - Okay first of all, no you're not. If you were, you wouldn't be calling me ma'am and using the tone of voice you have been using up until now. Second, if you are the CTO, then your wife is the CEO and your kids are your employers. The less you try to intimidate me into doing something that is out of my control anyway, the more likely I am to want to help you anyway.

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"How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about." --Ray Nagin

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Also related to Chloe's two groups are the "let's stand in this doorway and have a conversation, or button our coats, or whatever" people.

Then there are the "I'm in a hurry to get on this elevator so I'm not going to wait for the people who are getting off on this floor" folks. Hint: There will be more room in the elevator for you after they get off!

When my friend K was using a wheelchair, I was ready to strangle the "I can move fast, so I'll just cut across right in front of the woman in the wheelchair" people -- especially the ones who did it while I was helping her wheel down a ramp. Perhaps if she'd run them over they would have learned something about gravity.

And of course, the "I've been standing in line to order lunch/buy movie tickets for 10 minutes, but I still don't know what I want to eat/watch, so I'm going to hold up the line while I figure it out now" people.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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quiltsbypam
Happy Holly Days


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Ms. I Wanna Make a Credit Card Payment but Don't Know Where My Cred Card Is springs to mind.

Also, I Need To Stop My Paper For Vacation, But Don't Know When It Should Stop or Start.

Gee, think you coulda figured this stuff out BEFORE you called!

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"No Biblical hell could ever be worse than the state of perpetual inconsequence." Beatrice in Dangerous Beauty

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Lydia Oh Lydia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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The "I Brake For No Reason On The Interstate" driver.

The "Condescending and Patronizing Boss" who insists on talking down to all of his employees.

The "I Live In The Past" friend (usually not of you, but of an SO) who discusses how great things used to be years ago, which really means how great things were before YOU came along.

The "I Don't Have a Drinking Problem Because I Only Drink Wine" person who gets sloshed but rationalizes their behavior by telling you (and whomever will listen) about the great health benefits of wine.

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"My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League.

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Mr. Hindsight. He knows exactly what he would have done had he been in your position. Of course, the fact that he wasn't there makes no difference to him. He's so smart, and you're really dumb for not having his gift of hindsight. [Roll Eyes]

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Archie2K
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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In total agreement with Chloe and Lainie. People are very thoughtless or rude when it comes to standing around to have some asinine chat.

Also, Straddle the pavement person(s) who will not move out of the way if you are walking towards them. Yes, I have got to the point where I will gladly shoulder barge them out of spite. Usually these people suddenly manage to squeeze into a minute gap and just get out of the way in time. Sometimes they turn around and give abuse.

Gossips. If you've got something to say, say it to my face. I don't like hearing what you've been saying third hand, pussy.

I may be 21, but I think I'm all hated out. I spent about seven years detesting a few people who went out of their way to mak me miserable, and now I no longer care. These people are actually quite sad when you think about it.

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Ana Ng
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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QuiltsbyPam, I had to laugh. I get at least 3 calls a day from someone who figures out why they're calling as we speak. Or they do inventory on the phone:

"I need 18 cleansers- no, wait- Susan? Suuuuu-san? Susan! How many cleansers are up front? Okay, make that 10. No, wait a sec. Jackie? Jackie? Where did Jackie go..."

And I really and truly meant to rant about the people who congest sidewalks and entryways. I work in SoHo, a perpetually crowded with French guys area of Manhattan. Drives me nuts!

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My great grandfather planted that tree!

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Remarkgullabull
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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The "let's leave my grocery cart/basket right in the middle of the aisle so you can't get by" shopper.

And my all time favorite...

Coworker's who feel the need to apply a gallon of their best $1.99 perfume and leave a stink trail all through the office.

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Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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kingfan1978
Deck the Malls


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Oh, so many good ones! I've got to add a few...

My Kids Can Run All Over The Store, Practically Knocking People Over, & I Won't Do A Thing About It Lady - I actually saw this woman yesterday. Her 3-4 year old daughter took off & actually got out the store doors before the woman went to retrieve her. She then got back in line & the little girl promptly took off again. She made no move to stop her...DH & I had to point her in the direction the child went! This will be the same woman who's baffled when her child gets abducted.

Almost as bad is My Toddler Can Walk Across A Busy Parking Lot By Him/Herself Without Holding My Hand Woman - These people just scare me (just as pet owners without leashed pets on a busy sidewalk do). Have they never seen a child take off running just because the mood hit them? Lady, I shouldn't care about your child's welfare more than you do!

ETA: because vew isn't a word

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"I reject your reality and substitue my own!" - Adam Savage, Mythbusters

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Mr./Ms. "I have money so therefore I can treat you like a cretin and expect you to make exceptions just for me" person.

Mr. "I'm wearing a business suit so if I take over all your space on the plane you'll have to deal, you smelly hippy" person *


*disclaimer: I am not really a smelly hippie, I just have a tendency to wear jeans and no make-up ever since I left coporate America. Still, they react as if I don't deserve my armrest.

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by kingfan1978:
Almost as bad is My Toddler Can Walk Across A Busy Parking Lot By Him/Herself Without Holding My Hand Woman - These people just scare me (just as pet owners without leashed pets on a busy sidewalk do). Have they never seen a child take off running just because the mood hit them? Lady, I shouldn't care about your child's welfare more than you do!

Or worse, the parents (and I use the word loosely) who stride across the parking lot with their young children trailing along behind them. Yo, buddy: Do you have eyes in the back of your head? Can you see where your child is, and whether s/he is safe?

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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skippytoe
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Today I've got Mr. "This has to be the right phone number. I'm going to call back fifteen times and counting." Phone just started ringing- hahahahah.

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In the wheelchair people tower above me
Why doesn't God love me?
-M.C. Evil Jesus

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murmurzz
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Two vehicle related gripes:

The "I see there's a total of zero cars behind you, but I absolutely must pull out of this driveway/side street to get in front of you, and proceed to go 5-10 miles under the speed limit" schmoe.

And, the "I'm completely aware that you're waiting behind me and there's no way you can pass me, but I need to drop off my passenger and talk to them for several minutes before allowing them to mosey off" type.

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www.myspace.com/murmurzz <--- psst, I need friends. Bad.

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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A combination of Chloe's and Remark's

Costco is a busy place on Saturday. This is, therefore, not the appropriate place to have a reunion with a long lost friend with both of you blocking the aisles with your carts.


Also, please, please, please, use the gas pump that corresponds to the side your gas cap is on. When you have to swing the nozzle over your trunk, and especially when you stand there filling it, you end up blocking the way for other cars to get through.


Oh, yeah and murmurzz first one. That happened to me this morning.

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There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Mosherette
Deck the Malls


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Mr Lovely Man That I Want To Do Naughty Things With Who Hasn't Answered My Email [Frown]

Everyone who thinks it's funny to take the piss out of my voice. I've got laryngitis. It hurts. It's NOT FUNNY!! [Mad]

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Silence should never under any circumstances be construed as agreement. A lot of the time, it's simply a reflection that someone just said something so stupid that no response could possibly do it justice. - Ramblin' Dave

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Genetic Mishap
Fighting Irish Stew


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Ms. "Roommate whose religion is against the use of headphones and is obsessed with playing Green Day all the flipping time."

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Genetic Mishap...when Darwin's Theory meets Murphy's Law.

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NeeCD
Happy Holly Days


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Ugh, I work with Mr. I've Made Everything So Complicated And Now I Just Have So Much To Do. No, I will not do your job for you just because you're all stressed out about your workload. That's what planning is about, you should try it sometime.

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I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?

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Mickey is a Hanukkah Bush
O Come Let Us Adore Sales


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Miss Oh, you're not interested in joining our sorority? Then I'll blow cigarette smoke in your face.

Mr. Can't you quit that sneezing? It's disturbing the class whiny lil rhymes-with-wussy that is Mrs. Slocom's term for her cat

All the Mr.'s and Miss's ThisweekendisQuadfest,IamgoingtogetSOwasted!Oh my god!Where are you going this weekend?. It may still be the weekend that WOULD HAVE BEEN Quadfest, except you drunken dipshits made the new president cancel it*. Not that I care about it.


*Last year alone, 402 tickets were given out due to drunkenness, littering, noise violations, etc. Please note local news piece from last year...And another article...

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My mom, about my nervousness with Jeopardy!: "Don't worry about it. Just get drunk and you'll do fine."
Blog Just call me Mickey 2

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Cinnamon
The First USA Noel


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My personal favourite from the last couple of days - Mr I'm in a Jaguar therefore you must get out of my way when I try to occupy the space your car is in because I couldn't be bothered to get in the right lane in the first place. I don't care that you thought you could jump ahead of a queue of traffic but got stuck because the lane you were in had people waiting to turn right. Oh, and you might want to learn what the levers around the steering wheel do - one of them makes an orange light flash on and off so at least the drivers around you might have an idea when you're about to do something bloody stupid.

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My blog - a continuing obsession with my weight plus much randomness
My opinions on books, music, and other stuff

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Seaboe Muffinchucker
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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A FOAF related one this morning: Mr. I Have to Have a Reserved Parking Spot despite the fact that this facility has no reserved parking places (for that matter, it only has about 5 restricted [handicapped and van pool only] parking places per building).

I believe MIHHRPS was a manager (ooh, am I supposed to be impressed?) whereas my boss's boss--a Vice President--not only doesn't whine about not having a reserved parking place, he has an interior, windowless office.

Seaboe

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Education is not the filling of a hard drive, but the lighting of a bulb. -- Yeats via Esprise Me

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Miss I'm Going to Call Ten Times a Day for your Boss who's Never In the Office but I Don't Wish to Leave a Message. Oh and I Have a Heavy Asian Accent and Speech Impediment. Lady, I don't know how to tell you this, but my boss is never going to be available to talk at the exact moment you call. This is why we have me, a message taker, aka receptionist.

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Officially Heartless

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Oooh, Mosh has a lovely man in mind!

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Stressed Nanny
Deck the Malls


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I vote for miss "My mom is in the hospital and I know you don't work for the hospital and neither does your boss, but damnit she needs tylenol so i'm going to call her home doctor, yell at her assistant, and hang up on her because my mom is in the hospital and has a headache."

Lady, I know youre stressed. Have a doctor call me. have a nurse call me. Have an orderly call me, and I will personally give them the doctor's cell phone number so they can try to figure out what's going on. But yelling at me and hanging up on me only makes me write a note that your mother is in the hospital, you ignored my request for doctor-to-doctor contact, and when there is a lawsuit over malpractice in the hospital, it will look like your fault because you refused to pass along a phone number because its easier to yell at me. Good job.

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"Don't you see? You're not making Christianity better, You're making rock and roll worse." -Hank Hill to the Rockin' Preacher

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Ms. I'm Too Lazy to Walk 30 Feet So I'm Parking in the Middle of the Road. I know it's hot, and I know the whole right lane that's against the school is full of parked cars. That doesn't give you the right to park in the middle of the left lane, effectively blocking all traffic until you wrestle your kid out of his car seat, take him in the school, check him in, chat with someone and saunter back out. You could have parked 10 feet further down that lane and made a space big enough for people to go around, but you're too NFBSKing lazy. Better yet, you could have gone 20 more feet and used an actual parking space. Heaven forbid!

Extra points for making eye contact with me, seeing I was totally blocked in, then proceeding to get your kid out of the car instead of taking 1 minute to move!!!

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This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

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MaidenAthene
Deck the Malls


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Miss - I'm a Pedestrian at Wal-Mart so i'll just stop in the middle of the road and yell at my hubby to buy something real quick while my kids are hanging out of the kart. And wait. In the middle of the road.

And...
Mr I'm gonna stare you down the whole time while i pass you with my scooter Uh...creepy?

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“We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.” - Marilyn Manson
"Well, end more, your not ending enough!" - MST3K

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quiltsbypam
Happy Holly Days


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How about Mr. Driving My Tractor Down the Only NFBSK Road Between Work and Home at 30 in a 55 Zone with NOWHERE to pass. I live in farm country. I like to eat. But DAMN IT, pull your rig into the breakdown lane to let the 25 cars behind you pass! When he finally turned off, I felt so, so sorry for the pickup truck and car that had to turn that way, too.

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"No Biblical hell could ever be worse than the state of perpetual inconsequence." Beatrice in Dangerous Beauty

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Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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This one knows no gender bounds, but it's the Know-It-All Coworker. Every topic under discussion, this coworker has an opinion.

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"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

Posts: 2861 | From: New Jersey | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
DevilBunny
Deck the Malls


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Mr Version Control Will Eat Me Alive

AKA the other technical author at the company I just joined.

We have a perfectly good version control system. When requests come in for updates to the documentation, I check it out of version control, make the changes, check it back in.

He, apparently, keeps the 'master copy' on his computer, changes it as and when he likes, and occasionally gets someone else to check it in.

This results in me making changes to obsolete versions, because he hasn't checked in his changes in a while, and duplication of work, as he makes to his 'master' versions all the changes I've just made to the ones in version control.

You just can't do that if you're not the only one in your team.

In fact, you can't even do that if you are the only one in the team. Careful investigation has revealed that he had to recreate the document set once after his laptop brickified itself.

I think I'm going to have to have an honest talk to our boss about this one...

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"For God has seven thousand names, and one of them is bastard"

Posts: 420 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Lydia Oh Lydia:
The "I Don't Have a Drinking Problem Because I Only Drink Wine" person who gets sloshed but rationalizes their behavior by telling you (and whomever will listen) about the great health benefits of wine.

You know my mom? [Eek!]

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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