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Author Topic: Songs about NFBSKing yourself?
Oceanic Aura
The First USA Noel


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This is inspired by a recent convo I had with some friends whilst listening to Billy Idol.

I tried to make a case that Dancing with Myself was about masturbation, but they disagreed. The consensus was that it really was about dancing with oneself, and the dance was not the five-finger knuckle shuffle.

I still disagree so, I'm looking for more opinions! And other options. I'm thinking of making a Masturbation Megamix.

I've got:

Turning Japanese - The Vapors
Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol
Jerk It Out - The Ceasars*

Any others? I know I'm missing tons.

Aura

*This gets special props because they used it on an iPod commercial. Do they not listen to the songs they advertise?!

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"Are we talking misdemeanor trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?"

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Rob D / Blackwolf, the yule dodo
Deck the Malls


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Well, not really a song about having fun solo but I think every CD about that might need it:

"The Penis Song" by Monty Python.

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~Reality, the refuge of those who fail in RPGs~
aka Darkfist Dragon
-==(UDIC)==-

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Don't think it would fit in the type of mix, but Icicle by Tori Amos.

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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"She Bop," Cyndi Lauper

Not really about it, but "Captain Jack," by Billy Joel, mentions it.

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"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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velvetcactus
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Pictures Of Lily - The Who
Get A Grip - Semisonic (Great lyrics)

Prince is bounf to have done one. Hope this link helps
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_songs_about_masturbation

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Ana Ng
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Quite handy, actually...

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My great grandfather planted that tree!

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Lady Moon Shadows
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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"I touch myself" the Divinyls...

"(we be)Strokin" --don't remember who sings it.

Not really about masterbation, but "Big Balls" by AC/DC...

toni

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Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in hand, body thoroughly used up, and screaming WoW what a ride!

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LizzyJingleBells
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I Touch Myself

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Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love
If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart My Blog

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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"When I Think About You I Touch Myself" by Divinyls

ETA: Double-spanking. I may have to go touch myself.

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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trollface
The Bills of St. Mary's


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"I Touch Myself" by The DiVinyls. Got very heavy airplay at the time.

Blood hell. Quadruply spanked. Lucky me, hey?

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seriously , everyone on here , just trys to give someone crap about something they do !! , its shitting me to tears.

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A Cat Named Easter
Catfish on a Hot Tin Roof


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Any such list would have to include The Divinyl's "I Touch Myself".

Ryda, I'm so happy I'm not the only one that thought of Tori. [Smile]

A Cat ~I think I'll take from mine instead~ Named Easter

ETA: Oh Hell. I could probably post faster if I wasn't typing one handed. [Embarrassed]

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I am the death that walks the night.
I am the bringer of dreamless sleep.

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Oceanic Aura
The First USA Noel


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[lol] I'm glad to see that everyone was so quick to correct me in my glaring omission of I Touch Myself!

All this spanking is quite apropos for the discussion at hand, eh? Naughty, naughty...

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"Are we talking misdemeanor trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?"

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A Cat Named Easter
Catfish on a Hot Tin Roof


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quote:
Originally posted by velvetcactus:
Prince is bounf to have done one. Hope this link helps

Wasn't his "Darling Nikki" the one that got Tipper Gore all fired up and started the whole PMRC nonsense?

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I am the death that walks the night.
I am the bringer of dreamless sleep.

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Enjal
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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There is a line in Darling Nikki about masturbation so I guess it counts. I prefer the version by the Foo Fighters, personally.

Someone told me that Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes is about masturbation but I don't see it. I guess you could do some checking.

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"I'm a leaf in the wind"
New Lungs for George

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erinker74
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Enjal:
Someone told me that Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes is about masturbation but I don't see it. I guess you could do some checking.

Whether it is "officially" about masturbation I don't know, but the image of a blister popping in the sun and oozing white pus...you get the point.

"Big hands I know you're the one!" [Smile]

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"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair,
you still hit those brakes. Hey, better try the emergency brake." -Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

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Nicki
Deck the Malls


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I was in High School when Darling Nikki came out. And I was the only one named Nicki. Boy, did I catch some grief on that one.
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SiKboy
Deck the Malls


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Friggin' in the rigging by the sex pistols*, and All By myself by green day (Secret track on Dookie). Oh, and while I think about it, Longview by Green Day as well. Femtex by Therapy? probably counts too ("Masturbation saved my life, I was lonely as a child, you were someone out of my hands..."). Theres a steven lynch song called (I think) "Talk to me" about his dad catching him at it.

*you didnt specify the song had to be GOOD...

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This Space For Rent.

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Elwood
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Christian band Seventy Sevens' song Woody is arguably about struggling with the morality of masturbation.

quote:
i'm staring headlong
into the jaws of death
big teeth, big mouth,
bad bad breath
and i promised myself
i'd never do this again
and i don't understand it

help me, i'm going down again
help me, i can't tell
none of my friends
1 2 3, struck out again
pull a sheet over me,
but don't cover my head

i wanted bliss, ended up like this
betrayed myself with
my own judas kiss
momma never told me
there would be days like this, no!

you get what you pay for, i guess
can i pay for this?
i been eaten up and swallowed
by what i wanted
and i wanted more, more than this
tell me, what's worth more
what you'll lie for or
what you'll die for
i follow my heart
and it lies and it lies
and i don't understand it

help me, i'm going down again
help me, when will this ever end?
1 2 3, if i strike out again, do i lose?

Lyricist Michael Roe has been less than candid about the intent of the song, so its all up to interpretation.

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"If I didn't see it and didn't know it was a real news report, I wouldn't believe it. I mean, how nutty can you get?"-Pat Robertson Oct 26, 2006.

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Joostik
The First USA Noel


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The Winkers Song by Ivor Biggun and the Red-Nose Burglars.
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James D
Deck the Malls


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I'll wait - Van Halen
Centerfold - J Geils band
Borderline - Madonna

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The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

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Neffti Noel
We Three Blings


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Didn't Prince have a song with the lyrics "masturbating with a magazine?"
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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Neffti Neta:
Didn't Prince have a song with the lyrics "masturbating with a magazine?"

Darling Nikki. That whole record was really a revelation.

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"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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hoitoider
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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'My Sharona' - The Knack

That wasn't even on the wiki list, but 'Orgasm Addict' (Buzzcocks) was. Can't believe I forgot that one - I even saw them live.

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No man has a right in America to treat any other man "tolerantly" for tolerance is the assumption of superiority. -Wendell L. Willkie

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Zamboni_Rodeo
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by erinker74:
quote:
Originally posted by Enjal:
Someone told me that Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes is about masturbation but I don't see it. I guess you could do some checking.

Whether it is "officially" about masturbation I don't know, but the image of a blister popping in the sun and oozing white pus...you get the point.

"Big hands I know you're the one!" [Smile]

I always thought it was too, but according to Wiki, it is not.

--Zamboni "Which still doesn't explain the line, Body and beats, I stain my sheets" Rodeo

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Where's the challenge in wassailing at Christmas? The place is lousy with wassail!

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Hans Off
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by hoitoider:

That wasn't even on the wiki list, but 'Orgasm Addict' (Buzzcocks) was. Can't believe I forgot that one - I even saw them live.

Me too several times! and I have even shaken the hand of the author!


FWIW there are a number of BuZzcocks tracks about having a quick one off the wrist...

Which reminds me, what about the theme form "Life of Brian" ??

and possibly the penis song from "The Meaning of Life"?

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"British English speakers point to Americans adding more syllables so that they can make even more noise without actually saying anything." Llewtrah


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erinker74
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Zamboni_Rodeo:
quote:
Originally posted by erinker74:
quote:
Originally posted by Enjal:
Someone told me that Blister in the Sun by the Violent Femmes is about masturbation but I don't see it. I guess you could do some checking.

Whether it is "officially" about masturbation I don't know, but the image of a blister popping in the sun and oozing white pus...you get the point.

"Big hands I know you're the one!" [Smile]

I always thought it was too, but according to Wiki, it is not.

--Zamboni "Which still doesn't explain the line, Body and beats, I stain my sheets" Rodeo

I'm with you, Zamboni. I see that is says that on Wiki, but there is a lot of imagery in that song that screams "self pleasure". And how does the small hands story explain the title????

--------------------
"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair,
you still hit those brakes. Hey, better try the emergency brake." -Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

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erinker74
Deck the Malls


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double post - damn it!

--------------------
"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair,
you still hit those brakes. Hey, better try the emergency brake." -Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

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Echinodermata Q. Taft
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I've heard "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones is on this subject, but I'm not sure I see it.

Of course, there's "Touch Yourself" by Barnes & Barnes:

Why risk the danger
of sex with a stranger
when you can touch yourself?
There's no need for showers,
candy, or flowers,
go on and touch yourself....


--------------------
http://eqtaft.blogspot.com

Hope for the future! http://www.runobama.com

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Morrigan
Happy Holly Days


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Couple by Green Day...All By Myself, which is a hidden track on (I believe) Dookie, and then, Longview, on the same album.

Morrigan

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"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Robert Frost, Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

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onein6billion
Deck the Malls


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There was an Alanis Morissette song (I don't remember the title, I think it was on her first album) with the lyrics "My brothers they never went blind for what they did but I may as well have."

Which Green Day song was the one with the line about masturbation lost its fun?

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Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
"Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." - Jon Stewart
my space on myspace--now showing "80's Video Of The Week"

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Morrigan
Happy Holly Days


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Longview.

Morrigan

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"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." Robert Frost, Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

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Dogwater
Happy Holly Days


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I always thought "Get into the groove" by Madonna was about the ol'solo flight.."I'm tired of dancin' here all by myself/Tonight I wanna dance with someone else..."
The 'groove' part being a reference to the female apparatus

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As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Thanks to Wikipedia, I feel kind of stupid for not realizing Jackson Browne's "Rosie" is about masturbation. I had always thought the chorus seemed strange, but now it's an "Ohhhh, duh!" realization.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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Bill Door
I Saw Three Shipments


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Smut by Skyhooks.

(Search for "Smut" on the page.)

- Bill Door

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Binxi
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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My first waffles!!! Served with a healthy dose of love- self love of course!
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