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Author Topic: Straight guys and Autofellatio
Sapient Homo
TR7 Bridges Road


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Have any straight snopesters tried it or thought about it?

I know many gay guys that have tried to perform Autofellatio and for a few brief months, aged 14, I could; but I have yet to find a straight guy who has tried.

This poll has been moved to another forum.


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"Actually I thought we were going to do fine yesterday. Shows what I know."

George Bush after the Midterms

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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edited because I was thinking of something else [fish]

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A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
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zerocool
Deck the Malls


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I could, but it was not very comfortable. I don't know if I can still do it, but I think I'm not as flexible as I was back then so probably not.
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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Yes, but cleaning the car afterwards was a bitch!!!

What??

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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eif
Jingle Bell Hock


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I think your question falls into the category of "Why does a dog lick himself?"


For those who don't know... "Because he can."

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Where I come from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it History.

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DougW
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Men generally fall into two categories when it comes to attempting autofelatio. Those who have tried it, and liars.
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pilchik
Deck the Malls


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Hell, if I could do that, I'd never leave the house.
(5 points) [Big Grin]

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"20 years of boredom"

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Spamamander in a pear tree
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Unfortunately when I hear autofellatio I think of "the Hedgehog" Ron Jeremy, as allegedly that's the talent that first got him noticed by the porn industry.

Ewww. Not at the act, but at thinking of that furry bastage naked.

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"There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein

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sherri_lu
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Spamamander with cheese on rye:
Unfortunately when I hear autofellatio I think of "the Hedgehog" Ron Jeremy, as allegedly that's the talent that first got him noticed by the porn industry.

Ewww. Not at the act, but at thinking of that furry bastage naked.

Not according to him in this documentary . His then girlfriend sent his nude photo to Playgirl he was a special education teacher at the time. I think he even has an Ed.D
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DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Men generally fall into two categories when it comes to attempting autofelatio. Those who have tried it, and liars.
Uhhhhhh.... call me a party pooper, but I'd have to fall into the small minority of "never evencontemplated having a dick in my mouth." [Big Grin]

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High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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LadyLockeout
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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why is it called "auto" fellation? That makes think that it should either be something happening automatically, or dealing with a car.

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Katesune: We still can't find the way to albuquerque, and glisp won't stop to ask for directions.
Glisp42: Of course not. I know where I'm going, I just don't know where I am right now

Twisted Links

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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auto means self. Automobile means something which moves by itself, in the sense it doesn't need an an external power source, like a horse. Automatic translates to self-willing, means something with does something by itself.

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by DesertRat:
quote:
Men generally fall into two categories when it comes to attempting autofelatio. Those who have tried it, and liars.
Uhhhhhh.... call me a party pooper, but I'd have to fall into the small minority of "never evencontemplated having a dick in my mouth." [Big Grin]
But. it's your own dick!! Ever contemplated jerking your own dick off?

Ok, question to people who say they have tried. If you could, would you go back in time (like a couple of seconds) and 69 yourself

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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You mean I'm not the first person to come up with that idea? I always thought it would be great for someone who's bi-curious.

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"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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Llewtrah
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Membership of yoga classes suddenly increase due to influx of auto-curious male Snopesters .....

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Messybeast Cat Resource Archive
Llewtrah's Soapbox

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Spikey
Jingle Bell Hock


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When I was younger and did karate, I was a lot fitter than I am now! And I did manage it one time (only for a second or so), just to see if I could. But even if I could reach properly, and for an extended period of time, I don't think I'd actually go the whole way!

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"The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie

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the Virgin Marrya
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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[sort of serious question...] but... but... the teeth and tongue would be on the wrong edges. nerrrr. uncomfortable. even if you could get comfortable in the first place...

Marr "whaddoIknow, I'm a girrrl" ya

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Mad Jay said:
Ok, question to people who say they have tried. If you could, would you go back in time (like a couple of seconds) and 69 yourself

As one of those who admitted to having tried to do it (when about 14!), for some reason this idea seems far more gross...
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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Never tried it. Reasons:

1. It would lack the eroticism of having a girlfriend doing it. If it's just pure mechanical stimulation, the hands are more suitably placed.

2. An uncomfortable position like that is not the best start for a good time.

3. I have a bad back, without trying stunts like that.

4. I'm pretty sure I cant stretch my neck far enough to reach all the way up to where my dong ends...

quote:
the teeth and tongue would be on the wrong edges
Not more wrong than a 69, and that works just nicely.

----

There is a song about this, Zuga by the Swedish happy punkrock group Köttgrottorna (very much like a Swedish Toy Dolls).

It has great lines like these, translated from memory:

I can't suck myself
I try, I try, I pull my dong
But I have ten centimeters left
But there's still hope

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/Troberg

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Blue Fuzzy Thing
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Mad Jay:
Ok, question to people who say they have tried. If you could, would you go back in time (like a couple of seconds) and 69 yourself

Eww, no.

Blue Fuzzy Thing

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People say I have ADD, but they just don’t understand that... Oh look! A chicken!

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Ganzfeld
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I'm surprised no one has mentioned the man from Nantucket.
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Stoneage Dinosaur
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I remember reading a book recently where a time traveller did rude things with himself at around age 14 during one of his jumps in time (IIRC it was Henry from The Time Traveller's Wife).

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"You learn something new every day if you're not careful" - Wilf Lunn

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Ganzfeld:
I'm surprised no one has mentioned the man from Nantucket.

Why, Ganz? What's so special about the man from Nantucket? Can you spell out for us exactly why it's important we know that there once was a man from Nantucket? (IOW, Ganz: [lol] )

*ahem*

As for the OP: never tried it, never been tempted to. Not for anything, but I just don't feel the need to sleep with myself. Fellatio is only fun when someone else is involved.

And as for 69ing myself? Not a chance. I'd never sleep with myself. I do have some standards.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Richard W:
quote:
Mad Jay said:
Ok, question to people who say they have tried. If you could, would you go back in time (like a couple of seconds) and 69 yourself

As one of those who admitted to having tried to do it (when about 14!), for some reason this idea seems far more gross...
quote:
Originally posted by Blue Fuzzy Thing:
Eww, no.

Blue Fuzzy Thing

But, why not? It's practically the same thing, isn't it? I was sure that the reason why we haven't had visitors from the future is because all of them are busy NFBSK'ing themselves. I'm not so sure anymore.

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Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop
Once in Royal Circuit City


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Wee problem...

Can't see the results without voting, and I'm a girl, so I'd have to vote option 3, but that would skew the results....

Nonny

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When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
And as for 69ing myself? Not a chance. I'd never sleep with myself. I do have some standards.
I agree. I mean, I know what dirty thoughts I have, and I wouldn't want someone who thinks like that (unless, of course, it's a woman...).

quote:
Can't see the results without voting, and I'm a girl, so I'd have to vote option 3, but that would skew the results....
The question should work the same if you instead read it as auto-oral sex, but it would probably require a rubber spine...

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/Troberg

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Mad Jay:

Ok, question to people who say they have tried. If you could, would you go back in time (like a couple of seconds) and 69 yourself

Now, that's the most practical use for a time machine I've ever heard of.

To sidetrack a bit, wouldn't it be funny if the rules were rearranged so that when someone rule 6's themselves, we can say they 69'd themselves instead? Like - if part of the rule in the sixth slot, and the rest of the rule continued the rule in the ninth slot. Funny, right? No? Ah, well. Never mind.

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Brrrtje
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I've never been flexible enough to even seriously try it. And now I have a paunch, too.
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BringTheNoise
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by pilchik:
Hell, if I could do that, I'd never leave the house.
(5 points) [Big Grin]

I'm thinking Mallrats, but it could be Clerks (or I could be WAY off base).

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"The United States Government: significantly less cruel and sadistic than the Taliban." - Dara

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I always think I'd try it if I was a guy, because I can put my legs behind my head. I wouldn't even need a very big one to do it.

--------------------
Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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But if you were a guy, you would probably not be flexible enough to put your legs behind your head.

PS. You know how many naughty comments your post made me think of?

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
posted by GenYus
But if you were a guy, you would probably not be flexible enough to put your legs behind your head.

Really? How come?

quote:
PS. You know how many naughty comments your post made me think of?
No, how many? [fish]

--------------------
Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by candy from strangers:
I always think I'd try it if I was a guy, because I can put my legs behind my head. I wouldn't even need a very big one to do it.

Ditto. Although I don't know if it would really be pleasureable. I can suck my own nipples, but it's so uncomfortable to bend my head that far, I get no satisfaction or stimulation from it.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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That's a good point Cervus.

TMI, I'm sure (ETA: More TMI for Active Topics, La Dee Da, TMI TMI TMI, I think that should do it)

I've tried that as well and I can feel the mouth sensation more than the nipple. Same thing when I, uh...touch myself (I'm cringing at that expression). My fingertips feel it more than anything, so I pretty much have to use something else for stimulation.

--------------------
Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Marrya:
[sort of serious question...] but... but... the teeth and tongue would be on the wrong edges. nerrrr. uncomfortable. even if you could get comfortable in the first place...

Marr "whaddoIknow, I'm a girrrl" ya

[Confused]

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Officially Heartless

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