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Author Topic: Most embarrassing/funny moment during sex?
Panda_Marie
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by MapleLeaf pumpkin pie:
Also, I was having sex with my gf in her dorm room, when in walked her roommate. The second she heard noises she bolted, shouting aplogies, but it was still embarassing.

My roommate walked in yesterday afternoon. I thought she was in class...

We were under the covers, on our sides, and the TV was on.

My roommate walked in, sat down at her desk, and started TALKING to us.

Oddly enough, I wasn't very embarrassed, I just said, "Um, roomie...could you give us a minute?"

She looked over and apologized before steppng out for a cigarette.

We finished quickly, and cleaned up by the time she came back.

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GravyTrain
We Three Blings


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I once had a partner visit while I was watching "Rollerball". I hadn't stopped to turn the movie off when the intimacy began, it was basically just background noise anyways.. until in a moment of clarion awareness, I noticed I was starting to climax right during the growing "John-a-thon!" chants near the movie's end.

Naturally, I am so egomaniacal that I immediately changed my tempo in order to orgasm right when the chant ends abruptly with the blaring organ chords that lead into the credits.

GT.

PS My name is not Johnathon.

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Shrek_Daddy
Deck the Malls


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We were trying a little "chair nookie" in front of my computer. I happened to be running a defrag at the time.

So we were busy entertaining each other and the computer beeped...and I turned my head to look.....

For some reason, that got me in trouble with the wife. and to this day I am not allowed to bring my laptop into the bedroom.

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"We keep finding better ways to celebrate mediocrity"---Mr. Incredible

Assume at least one edit for typos..my keyboard and I fight alot :)

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Senior
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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My MIL used to visit our apartment whenever she felt like it. One day she came in and heard a strange noise in the bedroom. So she walked in and there was my wife fellating me. MIL turned beet red and walked out of the apartment.

The next day my FIL said to me "I understand you were getting a hummer yesterday. Lucky bastard. I can never get (MIL) to give me one."

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Ad astra per asparagus.

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littleshop
Jingle Bell Hock


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Halloween appropriate...

Since my husband and I met in high school and didn't have places to go for that sort of thing, we often headed to the parking lot at the mortuary. (Not a lot of pedestrian traffic at the mortuary!)

One night, after an intense session, we realized his car wouldn't start. He ended up having to call his parents to come get us. Only to find out that the car wouldn't start because he had forgotten to put it in park.

To quote his father: "Well, I guess it's the perfect place for the car to die."

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black roses 19
Xboxing Day


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quote:
The next day my FIL said to me "I understand you were getting a hummer yesterday. Lucky bastard. I can never get (MIL) to give me one."
[Eek!] ...what in the world do you say to that? [Eek!]

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"I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail

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Bored and Dangerous
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by blackroses19:
quote:
The next day my FIL said to me "I understand you were getting a hummer yesterday. Lucky bastard. I can never get (MIL) to give me one."
[Eek!] ...what in the world would you say to that? [Eek!]
There is nothing that you can say. Just nod and move on.

Kind of like when my dad decided to honk my mom's boob right in front of me and SO. Nothing you can say...just look away and pretend it's not happening.

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My blog

Watch?? I'm gonna pray, man! Know any good religions?--Zaphod Beeblebrox

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DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE


I'm pretty sure I mentioned these in a previous thread months and months back, but here goes...


1) My wife banged her head on a space heater and got a nice big gash in it while we were engaged in "exceptionally vigorous" physical recreation. It wasn't a life-or-death thing or anything like that, but she was bleeding EVERYWHERE, so I decided to take her in right away and get it looked at and stitched, if necc. the nearest hospital was the camp Lejeune Naval Hospital, and I had happened to still be partially wearing my cammies while we gere engaged in our activities, so I just pulled my (fluid-covered) cammies all the way, stopped the heavy bleeding with a towel, and we got in the car and went.

It seemed a little odd when we got there... the duty corpsman immediately seperated her from me, and the other corpsmen and nurses all started giving me dirty looks. It turns out they they thought I had HIT her... finally she and I, together, were able to convince them that I was not in fact an abusive husband... but to do that, we had to tell them the WHOLE story (with my now-crusty jizz-spotted cammies as evidence.) THAT was one of the most fucking humiliating things I've ever had to do.

2) My wife and I had been watching hentai on her brother's computer, in her brother's room, at her parents' house in Charleston. We were the only ones home at the time. Well, one thing led to another, if you know what I mean... and in the heat of vigorous oral copulation, her brother made it into the house without us hearing him. (he's two years older than me, BTW) Well, sure as shit, he walked in on us RIGHT in the middle of her giving me head while I was sitting is his computer chair.

Whoops.

Now, the classy thing to do would have been to walk out, give us a few minutes to clean up, and everyone pretend it didn't happen. Instead, he pulls up a chair, tries to play it off like it didn't happen, and starts TALKING to us. My wife is still wiping the flecks of spit and precum off her mouth, and her hair is totally disheveled, and there I am with my wet dick still hanging out of my pants,, and this idiot pulls up a chair and talks to us!

This was obviously his attempt to play off the situation and make it less awkward... but God, how dumb can you be?!

To his credit, he always made a VERY noisy production of coming and going after that whenever we were around.

These are but two examples of many, sadly...

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High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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Mr. Furious
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I have to say, seeing this in AT made me want to check out this thread:

"TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE TMI SPACE I'm pretty sure I mentioned these in a previous thread months and months back, but here goes... 1) My wife banged..."

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"He's not gonna let me in, I'm Mr. Dirty Mouth!"
- Jeffrey Coho (Craig Bierko), Boston Legal

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Damian
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I went home with a women I met at a New Years Eve party. In the morning, I decided to make a dash for freedom before she woke up. I put on my pants, grabbed the rest of my clothes and tiptoed out of the bedroom.

I opened every damn door in the house before I could find the front door.

I got fully dressed in the street (at around 6:30am New Years Day) and discovered I was totally and completely lost! It took nearly 4 hours to find my way home.

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"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." - Tony Montana

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Spikey
Jingle Bell Hock


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Once for a change, we agreed that I would pull out at the last minute and shoot on her chest. She said, "Just make sure it doesn't go on my face." Anyway, when the said moment arrived, I let rip as planned. Unfortunately, it flew up into her hair. Silence for a second, then I said, "Well, at least it wasn't your face!"

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"The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie

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DesertRat
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Minus the witty comment, I think we've all done that at some point... [Big Grin]

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High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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Spikey
Jingle Bell Hock


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Glad I'm not alone. [Big Grin]

Only been walked in once, and didn't know about it! I only found out when my girlfriend text me the next day saying her mum had told her she'd walked in on us. [Frown] I didn't go over her house again for a few weeks...

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"The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie

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1958Fury
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Spikey:
Once for a change, we agreed that I would pull out at the last minute and shoot on her chest. She said, "Just make sure it doesn't go on my face." Anyway, when the said moment arrived, I let rip as planned. Unfortunately, it flew up into her hair. Silence for a second, then I said, "Well, at least it wasn't your face!"

In a similar scenario, I once shot myself in the chin.

Edit:
Okay, two more stories:

1. First, another cat one. My wife and I were having a good time, classic missionary style, me on top. Then my cat jumps on my back (I think I was still wearing a shirt). Okay, I'm thinking, she'll jump back off once she realizes I'm moving so much. Nope, the cat actually curls up and gets comfortable, like it was some sort of ride. Wife and I both started laughing, to the point we couldn't finish.

2. It had only been a few months since I had become sexually active. I was performing oral sex on my future wife, "learning as I go", so to speak. The TV is on behind us. At one point I raise my head up and give wife a lustful grin. Then the TV behind us goes to a commercial for Pull-Ups training pants, with the jingle, "I'm a big kid, look what I can do..." We both cracked up and couldn't continue.

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I believe I'm growing skeptical of cynicism.
Myspace NWN Board

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callee
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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These two lines amazed me:

quote:
Wife and I both started laughing, to the point we couldn't finish.

quote:

We both cracked up and couldn't continue. [/QB]

I mean, sure, funny things happen, but short of, I don't know, a giant block of cement crashing down on my head, I can't imagine anything that could make me unable to continue!

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a moment for old friends now estranged, victims of the flux of alliances and changing perceptions. There was something there once, and that something is worth honoring as well. - John Carroll

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SkyeTisTheSeasonWynters
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by DesertRat:
2) My wife and I had been watching hentai on her brother's computer, in her brother's room, at her parents' house in Charleston. [..SNIP..]

Firstly, YOMANK on total post. I would have been frozen stiff (no pun intended, I suppose)

Secondly, I think he just wanted you to get the hell out of his room [lol]

Skye-So I says to Myrna, I says-Wynters

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Peter: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert

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1958Fury
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by callee:
I mean, sure, funny things happen, but short of, I don't know, a giant block of cement crashing down on my head, I can't imagine anything that could make me unable to continue!

Lol! What can I say, I guess we're more sexually inhibited than you are. Otoh, we started back over again both times, so all was not lost.

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I believe I'm growing skeptical of cynicism.
Myspace NWN Board

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Crackrzz
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I remember one now... it was kind of gross, but here it is... if I can just make this long enough to get past the active topics. And that ought to do it.

I once was going down and things went a little too far... I kept gagging... and finally... well... you get the idea. I was mortified (same guy as in last scenario I posted), but he was sympathetic.

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Stand up, slip on the bathtub floor, fling a hand up to balance yourself, and happen to have your mouth open on the downswing. Voila, a new hole in your face.

-Tabby, on how she cut her lip while shaving her legs.

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RiotGirlHeather
Jingle Bell Hock


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Meh, my ex and I were parked in the woods and in the bed of his truck when someone pulled up behind us. I don't think that I've ever jumped out of a truck bed and into the cab so fast.

Heather

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Luke: I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.
Princess Leia: You're who?

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The Memorial Storm
Lard Sharks


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quote:
Originally posted by Panda_Marie:
I once broke up with a guy during sex...and even HE still managed to finish.

Well of course he did...you don't think that he is gonna let himself go through all that just to get dumped and then not get off? I mean really... [lol]

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"Everything dies, but not everything comes to an end..." - Rev. Thomas Martin, City of the Dead

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1958Fury
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Panda_Marie:
I once broke up with a guy during sex...and even HE still managed to finish.

Yeah, I think most guys who read that are going to say, "Yeah? So?"

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I believe I'm growing skeptical of cynicism.
Myspace NWN Board

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Bettie Page Turner
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by The_Memorial_Storm:
quote:
Originally posted by Panda_Marie:
I once broke up with a guy during sex...and even HE still managed to finish.

Well of course he did...you don't think that he is gonna let himself go through all that just to get dumped and then not get off? I mean really... [lol]
I guess that epitomizes the phrase get up, get in, get off and get out.

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You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling

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MapMaker
Maximillian Andorra


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The ex and I were going at it my room of my parents house when about every 5 minutes or so we were getting called by my mother for dinner. She was getting increasingly irritated until she came to get us. I heard her come down the stairs and go to just open my door at the bottom and come in. I had the door locked so she just ran herself into the door. The calls for dinner made continuing difficult but once we heard the THUD on the door we had to stop coz it was hilarious!

On another occasion we were doing it with her on the bottom. We changed positions for her to be on all fours when I noticed a penny stuck to her ass! I laughed myself silly after that.

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"I'm looking over your shoulder, but only because I've got your back" -Stephen Colbert

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MapMaker
Maximillian Andorra


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waffles

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"I'm looking over your shoulder, but only because I've got your back" -Stephen Colbert

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Panda_Marie
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Got one from last night.

My boyfriend and I were feeling frisky, but my roommate was in the room, so we decided to go into the bathroom (our dorms are set up as suites...two dorms connected by a bathroom, and you can't lock the bathroom doors from the inside). It was about 3 in the morning (long past when my suitemates are normally asleep in their beds). I layed a towel down on the bathroom counter, and we started going at it. About half way through, my suitemate (also a friend to both my boyfriend and I) walked in. We just stood/sat there completely mortified, and unsure of what to say when my suitemate said, "I guess I should have knocked." And walked out.

We kind of laughed to ourselves, and a moment later, she came back in and said, "I really have to pee, just ignore me." And she went into the little stall with the toilet to do her thing, came out, washed her hands, and went back to bed. The whole things just seemed so surreal.

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Bettie Page Turner
Happy Holly Days


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Panda, just a suggestion...I mean, after reading all of your posts here...have you ever thought of using that bathroom to...I dunno...take a cold shower? 'Cause damn, girl... [Razz]

And I can't resist taking a playful stab at you with a snip from your own cynical-in-an-oh-so-youthful-way sig:
quote:
A man has only one thing on his mind.
Don't think he's the only one, dearie.

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You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling

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Panda_Marie
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Apple Brown Bettie:
Panda, just a suggestion...I mean, after reading all of your posts here...have you ever thought of using that bathroom to...I dunno...take a cold shower? 'Cause damn, girl... [Razz]

And I can't resist taking a playful stab at you with a snip from your own cynical-in-an-oh-so-youthful-way sig:
quote:
A man has only one thing on his mind.
Don't think he's the only one, dearie.
It's from a Tom Waits song.

I'm a highly sexual person. I practice safe sex (condems and the pill), and I don't have sex with anyone that I do not trust and care for. I don't see anything wrong with having a healthy sexual appetite.

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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'Twas the night before Christmas, and my then-GF and I were spending the night at her mother's place. (We spent Christmas morning there, then drove to my folks' place in the afternoon. But I digress.)

While getting frisky and prepping for the main event, O. started playing with my balls and singing a song about, um, peaches. [Embarrassed] [lol] "I want a peach...where is a peach...oh, there's a peach," etc.

Next morning as we unwrapped our presents, O's grandmother opened one of the first. I don't remember what the present was, but after she'd opened it, Granny said "I thought it was canned peaches!"

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Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

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ladyknight
The First USA Noel


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Two embarassing things:
First off, at college the beds were a little umm...noisy. So my boyfriend and I were enjoying the benefits of our relationship and it was getting kinda loud. Just then, one of his sectionmates came by and pounded on the wall for us to shut up! I believe the exact quote was "My God, could you NFBSK a little quieter?" Yeah.

Second, we went to visit my parents for Thanksgiving, and the only place we knew we would have advance warning of them was down in the basement. It wasn't very comfortable, but we made do, and just as we finished we heard some noise from overhead. Got dressed in about 5.7 seconds and waited to meet our doom...nothing happened, turned out to be one of the dogs going downstairs to sleep on the couch.

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Triumphs cannot be given. They must be taken, and the worse the odds, and the fiercer the resistance, the greater the honor. -- A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold

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CherryQueen
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I have two, both with the hubby.

Early this morning (about 3:15) I woke up out of a pretty deep sleep with my hands spontaneously swollen, red, and terribly painful. My wedding ring will not turn on my ring finger. Tehre's no way we're getting it off my hand, and I'm afraid I'm having an allaergic reaction to something or have gotten stung by something. I wake up hubby and we go to the ER. The doctor looks me over, and is baffled. I'm not red or swollen anywhere else. He says he's going to give me some IV steroids and pain meds, and leaves the room. A few minutes later, he comes back, pulls a stool up close to my bed, and says, in a very serious, grave tone, "Mrs. Veazey, it's very important that you be honest with me about this, because it may be an important part of figuring out what's wrong with you: Have your hands been tied up in any way tonight?" I just cracked up. The hubby said no for me. As if that wasn't bad enough, a few minutes later the nurse who was starting my IV and helping me get my ring off said, "You just woke up this way?" And hubby said, "Yeah, from the 15 minutes of sleep we got!" To which I (high as a kite on Dilaudid) replied, "God, Michael, you don't have to tell everything you know... the doctor already thinks we're into heavy bondage." The nurse just turned red and left the room.

The second, from a few months ago is the most embarassing moment I've ever had during sex... The hubby and I were going at it, and I was about to... uh... climax. So, I'm yelling, "Oh God, oh God, I'm coming... Right Now!" and at that moment, I let out a gigantic fart. Like, you know how it sounds when you put your forearm up to your mouth and blow a raspberry on it? Yeah, THAT gigantic. I said, "Well, at least you know it was a hell of an orgasm." Hubby was laughing so hard he had to stop for a minute, but I wanted to die.

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"Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Okay, this one is not mine, but my SIL (not a FOAF)...

They were going at it in their room (door locked because they had 3 kids) and their youngest started knocking on the door, "Mommy! Mommy!"

They tried to stay quiet when child #2 showed up. She asked the youngest what he wanted, and he said, "Mommy". At that point, she then shouted through the door, "Daddy, get off Mommy so she can talk to us."

Then child #1 showed up. She asked the other two what they were doing, and they said they wanted to talk to Mommy. So she said, "Here, let me open the door...". Well she knew how to hit the door to open it (even though it was locked)... Lucky, my SIL & BIL were "disengaged" by the time the eldest got it open and they all three ran in...

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And now for something completely different...

Posts: 4164 | From: Alabama | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Cracklin' Crackrzz:
I remember one now... it was kind of gross, but here it is... if I can just make this long enough to get past the active topics. And that ought to do it.

I once was going down and things went a little too far... I kept gagging... and finally... well... you get the idea. I was mortified (same guy as in last scenario I posted), but he was sympathetic.

I did that once while pregnant. My gag reflex was just a little too strong! Mr Starla kept bringing it up and laughing about it for a long, long time. I think he was kinda proud.

Not really embarrassing, but funny: once Mr Starla and I were having a great time. Music with Christian lyrics happened to be playing in the background. Just when things were getting really, really good the chorus to a song comes on:
quote:
He will come,
He will come,
He will soften all that hardens...

At first we tried to ignore it, but soon we were both laughing so hard he had to disengage and turn off the music so we could continue.

Neither of us can hear that band without cracking up laughing and also feeling a bit horny.

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This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jackie in the Elevator
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Panda_Marie:
quote:
Originally posted by Ligeia:
He was somewhat less amused but managed to finish anyway.

I once broke up with a guy during sex...and even HE still managed to finish.

Behold, the power of an orgasm.

Maybe a little inappropriate timing, eh, PM?

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Free the West Memphis Three

Why are these cases still unsolved?

Posts: 1618 | From: Texas | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Vivling
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Starla:
Not really embarrassing, but funny: once Mr Starla and I were having a great time. Music with Christian lyrics happened to be playing in the background. Just when things were getting really, really good the chorus to a song comes on:
quote:
He will come,
He will come,
He will soften all that hardens...

At first we tried to ignore it, but soon we were both laughing so hard he had to disengage and turn off the music so we could continue.

Neither of us can hear that band without cracking up laughing and also feeling a bit horny.

YOMANK Starla. That's maybe the funniest of "these kind" of stories I've ever heard. [lol]

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Climb up, over the the top
Shake it, take control
You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying
--Jason Mraz

Posts: 1686 | From: British Columbia | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Panda_Marie
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Jackie in the Elevator:
quote:
Originally posted by Panda_Marie:
quote:
Originally posted by Ligeia:
He was somewhat less amused but managed to finish anyway.

I once broke up with a guy during sex...and even HE still managed to finish.

Behold, the power of an orgasm.

Maybe a little inappropriate timing, eh, PM?
Yeah...we're actually good friends now, and we laugh about it...I was kind of going through a really bad time in my life.
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