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Author Topic: Favorite Pickup Tactics
DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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(I put this in NFBSK to give more leeway incase this goes downhill fast... [Big Grin] )
Last night, I was talking to one of my friends and the subject got to some of the really terrible attmpts that have been made to pick her up. Some of the attempt were deep into WTF country" and many were in "You-can't-possibly-have-thought-she-would-go-for-that Land."

Feel free to list your best/worst as well as the best/worst that you have been subjected to (or witnessed).

My favorite:
I want up to the victim, I mean lady and give a really bad pickup line. When I get shot down, I whip out a pack of index cards, "Well, how 'bout this one..."
If I time it right, it gets a chuckle and was frequently enough to "break the ice" so to speak to start a conversation. It workeds best if she's three shhets to the winds though. Everythings funnier when you're smashed... [Big Grin]

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Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!

IMJW-052804

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Jay Tea
The "Was on Sale" Song


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quote:
It workeds best if she's three shhets to the winds though..
Something tells me you might be [Wink]

I've never had a pulling tactic - in fact, I don't think i've ever actually pulled - well, not deliberately anyway - every woman i've ever 'picked up' has been through just talking to them, so I guess my 'tactic' is good looks and a winning personality.

No? Ok pure luck then [lol]

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This is where I come up with something right? Something really clever...

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Jay Tea:
quote:
It workeds best if she's three shhets to the winds though..
Something tells me you might be [Wink]

I've never had a pulling tactic - in fact, I don't think i've ever actually pulled - well, not deliberately anyway - every woman i've ever 'picked up' has been through just talking to them, so I guess my 'tactic' is good looks and a winning personality.

No? Ok pure luck then [lol]

I get too nervous. I needed something scripted to prevent my mind from going blank and just staring dumbly.

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Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!

IMJW-052804

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Oualawouzou
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I love your idea, DW. [Big Grin]

Personnally, I have only one trick... A few days of anguish about finally asking her out. Mustering enough courage to actually feel that maybe I could do it. Wait for a moment where I have an easy escape route so that she doesn't see me dancing in joy or weeping bitterly (in my case, wait till she gives me a ride to the subway and wait until I'm just about to exit the car), blurt out the question all the while thinking "STOP BLUSHING STOP BLUSHING STOP STOP OH MAN YOU'RE RED AS A HOT PEPPER EXCEPT YOU'RE NOT HOT!", run away, take 15 minutes to realize she said yes.

Then, a few weeks later, learn that she didn't realize I meant we two would be going out alone until her mother pointed out it was probably what I meant. [lol]

(edited to set the yous and Is straight)

Oh, I knew a guy once who was seriously in admiration before such gems as "Excuse me lady, but I'm new in town. Could you show me the way to your bed?"

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Le champignon arrive.

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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The worst/funniest/oddest one used on me was " Girl, you sooo fine. I'd like to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!"
[Confused]
HAve no clue what it was he was trying to say, but comparing me to gravey isn't really the way to go. Nor was using questionanle grammer.

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I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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A few years ago I got a very garbled "Oh baby, your lips are on fire"--something about putting them out. This would have been a problem had the strange would-be seducer not been about four years old, and in the next booth at Pizza Hut. His mother seemed very embarrassed...

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Randa Roo
Deck the Malls


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My favorite of ALL time... I went to a bar, a redneck, shitkicker bar, with 2 male friends and and my best girlfriend. One of my male friends decided to say this to every woman in the bar: "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Penelope?" He had NO luck, got laughed away from the tables most of the time, got smacked once, and almost ejected from the bar by one woman's boyfriend, who happened to be a bouncer. I laughed my butt off at him the rest of the night, and actually used the line on a couple of men. I had way better luck than he did.

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'I'm the decider... I decide what's best.'

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Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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The most shocking to me was two guys cruising by my friend and I, the passenger yelling, "Hey girls, how 'bout some pizza and a blowjob?"

Had I thought they would understand sarcasm, I would have replied, "I really don't like pizza, let's just get right to the blowjob!"

I also had a guy follow me down the street one night begging me very loudly to marry him, and asking the crowd at the stoplight if I should marry him. So many said, "Aww! He loves you, go ahead and tell him yes! He's so sweet!"
"Um... Just saw him for the first time 1 block ago..."

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"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

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pinqy
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Roadie4JCM:
The most shocking to me was two guys cruising by my friend and I, the passenger yelling, "Hey girls, how 'bout some pizza and a blowjob?"

Had I thought they would understand sarcasm, I would have replied, "I really don't like pizza, let's just get right to the blowjob!"

But that's kind of how it's supposed to go:
"How about some pizza and a blowjob?"
"No."
"What, you don't like pizza?"

pinqy

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Don't Forget!
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STF
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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A friend of mine said to a girl who was randomly interviewing people, "Is your name Barbara?"

Her: "No, it's Amber. Did you say that because of Barbara Walters?"

Him: "No, I just guess people's names."

Her: That's cool.

Him: I've never gotten one right.

It struck us as funny at the time.

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STF on MySpace

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SkyeTisTheSeasonWynters
Deck the Malls


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When me and SO lived in San Diego, we had just pulled onto the highway when we hit a red light. It was hot and the windows were rolled up. I could hear someone in the car next to us yelling something, so I looked over. She motioned to roll down the window. When I did, she yelled:

"It's so hot, it's going to take the both of you to cool me off!" and then let out a shriek-y laugh.

I was mortified at the time. Now, I think it's a hoot.

[lol]

Skye

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gnome
Deck the Malls


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I only have one weird pickup story. Upon being introduced to a stunning young lady by a friend of mine, we shook hands, and I decided to allow her to let go first. To my sudden surprise, she didn't, and we wound up holding hands secretly under a table seconds after meeting.

Unfortunately, I never saw her again, and I haven't tried that trick since. I want to keep my perfect record [Smile]

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Spryte
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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my students always try to ask me on dates - usually with "i love you, i want you, i need you" in random order and sometimes using lines from a english book. once, we teachers (three of us in one class) were beginning the class, saying "good morning" to the class and having them say it back. after i said "good morning" the class says "good morning" and one of the boys says "and i love you" *cue red face* i can understand the students trying to be funny and stuff, but don't like that the japanese teachers are actually egging them on or telling them to do so!

spr"y doesn't anyone my own age try to pick me up"te

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"Let's enjoying!"

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Prelude in G Minor
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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A friend of mine was going to write a pickup line in C++, but I don't think he got around to it...

It made for some funny lunchtime conversation. Maybe I can take a stab at it:

#include "confidence.h"

int main()
{
if (Gender == male)
{
DontEvenThinkAboutIt();
}

else if (Gender == female)
{
CarefullyApproach();
if (response == yes)
{
StayCool();
}
else if (BoyfriendApproaches = true)
{
RunAway_RunAway();
}
else
{
GoSobInTheCorner_ShesOutOfYourLeague();
}
else
BetterNotRiskIt();

return 0;
}

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Bad music affects me, but good music affects me even more.

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Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I could do it in BASIC easily enough...

If Girl = hot
And relationship != boyfriend
Then
Pause
Goto A
Lbl A
Disp Pickup Line
If Response=yes
Then
Pause
Goto B
Lbl B
Proceed
Else
If relationship = boyfriend
Then Quit

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"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
Countdown: 177 days and counting... or less. My blog. 14 keyboards owed.

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Minstrel gone caroling
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Part of the Basic program is missing. What if Response = no? [Razz]

A guy I went to college with would "test" his pickup lines on me before he used them in actual pickup situations, so he'd know in advance what an actual female might think of his lines. I like to think that I saved the ladies of the area from some bad lines. Or at least, I convinced him to not deliver them seriously. A cheesy line delivered in a sort of humorous, gently self-mocking way can be effective, in my opinion. At least if the guy has the skills for a real conversation afterwards.

I'm generally comically oblivious when a guy's trying to chat me up (as opposed to just trying to be nice), so I've probably misinterpreted any number of decent lines. But then, the best pickup line I ever received was in Elvish. (I know, could I be much geekier? [Embarrassed] ) In my defense, I didn't understand it, or even recognize the language at the time, and the gentleman had to translate. There was just something about the accent, the resonance in his voice, and the way he looked at me that made me just melt. Of course, I was involved with someone at the time, so nothing much could come of it, but it's still the most memorable of all pickup lines I've ever heard.

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Last year's goat was burned down by vandals dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.
My blog. The Adventures of the Fish O'Thwacking.
Countdown: 177 days (or less!)

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Damian
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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If you consider women to be stupid, use a pickup line.

If not, try this:

1. Introduce yourself and start a conversation. It is good to have some knowledge on topics that women may be interested in. If the topic turns to something you know nothing about, be honest. The woman will enjoy 'educating' you on a topic of which she is passionate (see rule 2)

2. Be interested and interesting. Pay attention to what is being said and be ready to add to the conversation. Don't be afraid to ask questions. (hint: people love to talk about themselves).

3. If all goes well, you will have arranged a date before she realises that you are a doofus.
(hint: how about we continue this conversation over dinner?)

This is not so much a tactic, but a lifestyle choice. It does work, I have been married twice. (I can catch 'em.....I'm just not that good at keeping them).


Contender for worst pickup line ever heard:

"You are what you eat. Tomorrow morning, I want to be you !"

Contender for best:

"What's your favourite pickup line ?"

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"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." - Tony Montana

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Troodon
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Minstrel of the starry sea:
Part of the Basic program is missing. What if Response = no? :p

That's an unhandled exception that causes a full system crash and requires a hard reboot.

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Fools! You've over-estimated me!

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Western Fallout
Deck the Malls


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This is generally me. My tactic for snaring a semi-normal specimen of the fairer sex involves three poison dart frogs, a length of hemp rope, and a freighter bound for Honduras.

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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

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Don Enrico
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I don't have any pick-up lines myself (especially not in English), but SO and me watched " Hitch" the other day on DVD, and she suggesteds to actually recommend the movie to some men as an educational film about how to pick up woman.

Don "Listen!" Enrico

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My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - Pooh Bear

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Western Fallout:
three poison dart frogs, a length of hemp rope, and a freighter bound for Honduras.

There's where that stuff is. Take it back over to the initiation thread...

Way back during the disco days one guy asked me "Are those your real lips?" I don't know if that was just the first part or what. He never said anything else. Color me confused. [Confused]

guru "nah, their my brother's and he wants them back by midnight" wan2b

--------------------
Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Pretty Penny
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Don Enrico:
I don't have any pick-up lines myself (especially not in English), but SO and me watched " Hitch" the other day on DVD, and she suggesteds to actually recommend the movie to some men as an educational film about how to pick up woman.
Don "Listen!" Enrico

Meh, if I found out a guy I just met had googled me and researched my family history, he'd be more likely to get served with a restraining order rather than a second date.
I can't speak for any other women, but if a guy asks me out on a date the first time he meets me, then the answer is going to be a definite "no". I don't care how well we hit it off, I still don't really know anything about him and he really doesn't know anything about me - aside from what I look like. So I'd definitely be turned off by the full court press. But if a guy shows real patience, then digits might be exchanged.
Cheesy pick up lines can be funny but if a guy uses one on me, then I know right away what he's after and he has no chance. Zip. Zero. Nada. Nil. And if I started a conversation with a guy and he started asking me all sorts of questions about me (because we women LOVE to talk about ourselves [Roll Eyes] ) then that would turn me off pretty fast. It's supposed to be a conversation, not an interrogation. It's supposed to be symbiotic and free-flowing. Women can spot a guy faking interest from a mile away. It's insulting and pathetic.

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CannonFodder Global Trotter
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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"Inheriting $60 million just doesn't mean very much to me since I was diagnosed with a terminal heart condition."

--------------------
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

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Gale
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Well, I'd die before I'd actually use it, but a friend of mine and I were discussing lines a woman could use on a man:

"I was just wondering what the view was like over your shoulder"

Terrible.

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Jay Tea:
...I guess my 'tactic' is good looks and a winning personality.

Talking of which, I see your avatar IS now a picture of you...
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Bored and Dangerous
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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The weirdest one I ever got was, "Hi, do you speak English?" I'm not sure if the question was for my benefit or his.

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My blog

Watch?? I'm gonna pray, man! Know any good religions?--Zaphod Beeblebrox

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Minstrel of the starry sea:
Part of the Basic program is missing. What if Response = no? [Razz]

According to the code, he proceeds anyway. Help! Rapist!
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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous:
The weirdest one I ever got was, "Hi, do you speak English?" I'm not sure if the question was for my benefit or his.

After a distinctly cheesy chat-up attempt about photographs and portfolios, my brush-off was once followed by an anguished "I'm not Anglo-Saxon!"

Still don't know why he thought this would change my mind.

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I was bartending at this dance once, and this old guy (I was in my 20s, he was probably in his 60s) kept calling me Emerson. "Thanks, Emerson", "'Nother Bud, Emerson".
Finally I asked him why he was calling me Emerson. His response about made me pee my pants.
"Well, 'cause Emerson nice tits you have there, lady!"
Spunky old fart!

--------------------
"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by CannonFodder Global Trotter:
"Inheriting $60 million just doesn't mean very much to me since I was diagnosed with a terminal heart condition."

Gee that one would actually work with me....

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Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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"Mmm, I smell puss-ay!" would top my list as the worst. Yes, he pronounced it "puss-ay." And, yes, he became angry when I immediately turned around and walked out of the room. Note: shouting "Hey, I'm talking to you!" when a woman is fleeing your boorish behavior doesn't help.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop
Once in Royal Circuit City


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The correct response to that line, Cervus, is "Really? All I smell is pig."

Nonny

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When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer

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pinqy
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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It's sad...all these men who don't know their lines. It should be:
"Can I smell your pussy?"
"NO!!"
"Oh. Must be your feet."

pinqy

--------------------
Don't Forget!
Winter Solstice Hanukkah Christmas Kwanzaa & Gurnenthar's Ascendance Are Coming!

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Roadie
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Pinq, you're starting to scare me. You know WAAAYYY too many bad lines!

--------------------
"The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)

"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus)

Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
pinqy
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I haven't even started yet:

Is that windex on your pants? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

That's a nice outfit. It would look even nicer crumpled up at the foot of my bed.

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven.

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again.

Excuse me, Miss, can I buy you a......car?

Are you religious? Because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you're going to kiss me.

I wish I could rearrange the alphabet so I could put "U" and "I" together.

I feel I should buy you a drink, since we've been going out so long. I've been mentally dating you for 2 weeks now.

Did anyone ever tell you that you look absolutely nothing like Meryl Streep?

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

Do you want to fuck, or do I owe you an apology.

Classics, all of them.

pinqy

--------------------
Don't Forget!
Winter Solstice Hanukkah Christmas Kwanzaa & Gurnenthar's Ascendance Are Coming!

Posts: 8671 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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