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Author Topic: Dog for Sale
snopes
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DOG FOR SALE - READ BEFORE OPENING!!

Read the ad before you look at the picture!!

A real ad from Colorado!!

FREE to an approved home. Excellent guard dog, loves other small-dog breeds. Answers to the name of Dolly. Will eat anything, owner cannot afford to feed her anymore, as there are no more kids, thieves, murderers, rapists or molesters left in the neighborhood. Your help will be appreciated ...


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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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I don't know how anyone can bear to part with their dogs, and Mastiffs are such sweethearts!

What does she weigh? 250 lbs? Think of the size of the poops! I've ben picking up dogshit for 17 years, but that would be a Herculean task. Great dog, though.

NOT a real ad, right? No one would want to get rid of a dog like that!

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Page Three
Deck the Malls


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I don't know about you, but I thought this line was a bit of a clue... [Wink]

quote:
owner cannot afford to feed her anymore, as there are no more kids, thieves, murderers, rapists or molesters left in the neighborhood.

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Tacitus
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Got to be a little out of proportion as the woman is clearly well behind the dog. Still, look at her hands on the dog's leg, and you can see she's a big doggie.
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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I'm more suprised by the lack of drool than the size of the dog. [Wink]

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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Mastiffs are big dogs, but, yes, I think the head may appear slightly larger than it really would be (but only slightly). And I think it's a boy dog.
He does look like a big sweetheart, though.

(And, yes, the ad is funny, but...lookit da puppy! Aww!)

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

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Michael Cole
Deck the Malls


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I'd like to see Paris Hilton try and fit that in her handbag...

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Q. What's the difference between a Computer saleman and a Used Car Salesman?
A. The Used Car Salesman knows when he is lying.

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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I'd like to see the dog fit Paris Hilton in it's stomach.

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Michael Cole
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by surfcitydogdad:
I'd like to see the dog fit Paris Hilton in it's stomach.

Oooh, nasty.

So what's Paris Hilton done (or not done) to you? [lol]

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Q. What's the difference between a Computer saleman and a Used Car Salesman?
A. The Used Car Salesman knows when he is lying.

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charlie23
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Looks like his rear end is a bit blotchy...
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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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Mike Cole - oh, nothing, I just went with the idea your quip gave me! Thanks, I think...

Charlie - that freaked me out, but then I realized that's the rock wall!

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Auntie Witch
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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This looks like something that would have been entered on one of Worth's "Size Matters" contests, and does look familiar, but I can't say for sure that's where I've seen it.

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"Feel my head! I feel like a puppy!" -My mother
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
Myspace about my mom, kids

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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So, what about this little doggy? According to the article he weighs around 187 pounds and measures more than three feet in height. His owner says that he loves children and is on a diet of mobile phones, remote controls, socks and various other things. He also thinks that he's a lapdog.

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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frogpond
Jingle Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
So, what about this little doggy? According to the article he weighs around 187 pounds and measures more than three feet in height. His owner says that he loves children and is on a diet of mobile phones, remote controls, socks and various other things. He also thinks that he's a lapdog.

I've always wanted an Irish Wolfhound but I doubt I could afford to feed one!

When I was a little girl a man down the street used to ride his horse with 2 wolfhounds following behind. The hounds would always stop and let me pet them - they are truly gentle giants. From my short perspective at the time they both appeared about as tall as the horse.

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So many books, so little time.

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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I have a 65 pound dog who thinks he is a lap dog. That's lap dog enough...

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There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Agreed. I had a 55 lb dog sit on my lap in the back of a small plane between Alabama and Oklahoma, which is the best part of four hours. You notice. (This was because he's a big girl's blouse, not because of lack of other seating options).

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I love giant doggies. My friend has an Irish Wolfhound named Fagin who is just the most loving sweetie pie you ever did see. I would like to have a Mastiff or Rottweiler but oddly my boyfriend prefers little lapdogs! Maybe we can compromise with a Beagle.

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Officially Heartless

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Lawgiver
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
So, what about this little doggy? According to the article he weighs around 187 pounds and measures more than three feet in height. His owner says that he loves children and is on a diet of mobile phones, remote controls, socks and various other things. He also thinks that he's a lapdog.

I love Irish Wolfhounds and have always wanted enough land (and money) to have one. They are probably one of the most gentle breeds of dog there is.

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I looked at my sleeping husband and longed to plunge my elbow through his peaceful face. ~ Annissa

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put it in writing
Xboxing Day


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Growing up, my best friend's gramma raised wolfhounds. Great dogs, but I can't tell you how many times I got hit in the face with a tail - and those things hit hard!

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and it's 1 - 2 - 3, what are we fighting for? don't ask me, I don't give a damn

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Dutch Angua
Deck the Malls


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Wolfhounds, Mastiffs...LOVE them all!
But my friend still has the prettiest doggy I've even seen (Icelandic shepherd/Rough collie mix)

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Dude, where's my siggy?

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
So, what about this little doggy?

:rabbit is reduced to non-words at the sweetness of giant doggies:

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Floater:
So, what about this little doggy?

The newspaper asked the readers to send in pictures of their big dogs and the result is here.

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Mastiffs are big suckers. There was one at the pund when we were looking for a new dog (and later got Rory the Wonder Dog). Let me tell you, that Mastiff at the pound was HUGE. Frickin' H-U-G-E. He took up almost all the room in his run. He was a loveable goofball, but just too big for our home.

As for the dog in the photo, I think his head appears big to some because he's sort of focused to the lens, head first. (Perhaps the camera was very close to his head when the pic was taken.)

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I would prefer not to.
My blog

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bthyb
WiFi Christmas


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So that's a mastiff. Gives me the chills.

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If you say you love ice cream, you better be dreaming of an orgy with Ben, Jerry, and one fine-ass chunky monkey.

-- My sister and poet extraordinaire, Joanna Hoffman

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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The mastiffs I've met have been like the one Trish described -- big goofballs. It's little dogs that make me nervous.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Tzarina
Xboxing Day


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These are my family's dogs. For reference, the table in the background is a dining room table, and about waist high on me.

The 4 of them range in size from 100-150 lbs, and the tallest one is over 6' on his hind legs.

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Tzarina, are those Great Pyrenees? When I worked at the kennel we had a client who owned a GP and a Yorkie. She'd bring them on the same day for a bath & groom. I never knew if she purposely got them for the size contrast.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Neighbors of mine have a Bernese Mountain Dog and a little Jack Russell-size (but not a Jack Russell) dog. When we walk by their house with our dog, we hear:

WOOOF!
yap-yap
WOOOF!
yap-yap

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Tzarina
Xboxing Day


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Cervus, 3 of them are Pyrs and the 4th one (he's kind of hard to see in the back there), is a Golden Pyr. A purposeful crossbreed, he was supposed to be smaller, but he's the one that's 150lbs.
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Elwood
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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SIL and BIL have a Mastiff. Magnificant-looking animal. Unfortunately, I'm not sure their dogs are properly cared-for. One of them bit my brother and MIL at Thanksgiving one year. Yeah, great holiday together with the fam!

I'd still get a Mastiff in a heartbeat if I could afford to feed it. I know they're not inherently dangerous.

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"If I didn't see it and didn't know it was a real news report, I wouldn't believe it. I mean, how nutty can you get?"-Pat Robertson Oct 26, 2006.

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Miss Rosa
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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The cost problem can be gotten around. Dogs of any size can be fed commercial chicken feed. You pour very hot water over it, stir to make a mush, cool it some and watch 'em go for it.

We raised four boxers on this mix (my Dad's an agriculture major). Chicken feed is full of proteins, roughage and vitamins, though you don't actually want to know what they use to make it except that it's clean.

You can feed dogs rice, too, though brown rice is better and any rice should be cooked in broth. A friend who has 12 dogs (or more, depending on who she's fostering this month and, yes, she lives way out in the country) cooks up batches of rice-based dogfood which she freezes in meal-sized portions using ordinary Zip-Loc bags. Tosses them in the fridge in the morning to thaw in time for dinner and vice versa at night.

Another thing: don't these people belong to Costco or a local equivalent? I get food for my animals at less than half the supermarket prices.

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Xia
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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As people mentioned, the dog appears larger than it actually is because it is closer to the camera (a perspective thing...) Yes, it probably is a very big Mastiff but not quite as large as it appears.
Mastiffs are usually big teddybears...it's the (smaller) Bullmastiffs you gotta watch out for!

Tzarina, your Pyrs are gorgeous!

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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ToriSparrow
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Cute dog. [Smile] I agree that the way the picture was taken made the dog look even bigger.

Big dogs make me nervous...I like small and medium-sized dogs better.

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"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'"
-John Greenleaf Whittier

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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Hee, I once had the dubious honor of having my face near-engulfed by a mastiff when I was younger.
He was feeling affectionate and SPLARTTT, out came the tongue.

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I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

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Ophiuchus
Deck the Malls


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If people can have 200 pound dogs, I don't see why I can't have a leopard or hyena.
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