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Just when I think I've heard of every screwy 911 call … the Star News, an L.A. County Sheriff's Department publication, says an operator heard from a resident who insisted he had "a video of remote-control robots egging his house." The responding officer's report said: "Checked video, no robots. Two skunks in driveway only."

I'm guessing the skunks weren't remote-controlled.

You think you have problems: Some other emergency calls received by the Sheriff's Department:

• A young man wanted help to "recover his keys from girlfriend's apt. [He] requests deputies hurry because he is outside in his underwear."

• "Fifty goats running around [caller's] yard. Goats eating [caller's] roses."

• A man said he was "hypnotized and withdrew $3,000 from bank against his will."

• A young woman "stated her two boyfriends are in front of her house fighting."

• Some juveniles were parked for more than an hour outside a coffee shop. Turned out they were "utilizing computer with wireless Internet, piggybacking off Starbucks store wireless system." Sounds like grande theft to me.

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