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Author Topic: "Yeah, that's the woman I robbed"
Bunion
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I have no idea if this is one of those made up dumb crook stories or it actually happened (I read it in the now defunct California Highway Patrolman magazine about 10 years ago as one of the dumb crook stories people send in.)

The police respond to a woman who had her purse stolen and she gives a description of the man that stole it. The police put the description out on the radio and another police car locates the suspect. They put him in the police car and tell the suspect they are taking him back to the scene of the crime for "identification." Well the police with the suspect drive back to where the woman is and pull up to where she can see the suspect. The suspect then blurts out "Yeah that is the woman I robbed."

Basically the theory behind the story is that the suspect was so stupid that when he heard he was going back for "identification" he thought it was meant for him to identify the victim.

Whether that is true or not I have heard of things just as dumb, for example this did indeed happen in Columbia SC....

A young woman in her early 20's gets into a minor traffic accident. The highway patrol shows up to make out the report but the woman doesn't have her driver's license with her. She does however know her driver's license number and all the other information checks out when the highway patrolman enters it into his computer in his car. She is issued a ticked for the accident and not having her drivers license and goes home.

Several hours later two sheriff deputies show up at this young woman's house and ask for her by her real name. She then appologizes to the sheriff deputies for giving the highway patrolman her sister's name and driver's license number as hers was suspended and she didn't want to get into trouble. The deputies look at each other then back to her and say, well that is nice to know, but we are here about some bad checks.

The lesson of this true story is never confess to anything until you know what you are being accused of.

Bunion

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You get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun then you do with a kind word alone.

Posts: 44 | From: Columbia, SC | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
5 continents
I Saw Three Shipments


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Ha!

A "friend" of mine in high school was stopped by cops for not wearing a seat belt (knowing this person, she most likely had some illegal substances in the car and I know for a fact that she was also forging checks) so she gave them my name and license number (I had lived with her briefly and she had stolen a paper renewal from me during that time).

Several months later, I was contacted and told that there was a warrant for my arrest for Failure to Appear. When I went to the courthouse to get this straigtened out...it turned out the idiot had signed HER OWN NAME to the ticket. So I was free to go.

Now, this also leads to stupid police too because in Texas, all of your vital information is on your license...like hair color, eye color and most importantly HEIGHT. She was less than 5 feet tall and I am 5'7". She was also blonde and blue eyed, whereas I am brunette with green eyes, but I know that that's all changeable. But how does one shrink?

ET remove extra punctuation.

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May those that love us, love us. And those that don't may God turn their hearts, and if He can't turn their hearts may He turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.

Posts: 63 | From: Ghana, West Africa/Houston, TX | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Communication Attempt
Jingle Bell Hock


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Bunion's first story reminds me of another dumb criminal story I heard.

A woman who witnessed a bank robbery is brought to the police station to identify the culprit from a line-up.The woman can't really remember his face as he was wearing a ski mask,but she tells the police she could recognize him by voice.The police officer tells the suspects to say "Everybody freeze!". One guy from the line-up then says "That's not what I said!I said 'Everybody on the floor!'"

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"I love God,he's so deliciously evil!" -Stewie,Family Guy

The fun thing about standards is that they come in so many varieties.

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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Book-a-chow

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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Damian
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I was given a book recently called "Dumbology". It is full of these stories. Many are obviously fake, but some are quite funny.

A man comes up with an brilliant idea to snatch cash from a register. He puts a $20 on the counter and asks for change. When the register is opened, he snatches the cash inside and runs. He made off with $15. He left the $20 behind, so his brilliant idea leaves him $5 out of pocket.

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"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." - Tony Montana

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glisp42
I'm Dreaming Of A White iPod


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I witnessed this on Cops.

A lady flags down a cop and tries to get someone arrested for selling them fake crack cocaine.

The cop's response was priceless. The lady was free to go as she technically hadn't commited any crime.

Back in my younger days, I got burned on a few pot deals but merely chalked up to a learning experience. Now I know, I shoulda just called the cops!

glisp"paging Mr Darwin"42

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What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK" and other lingo mean?

And we'll collect the moments one by one I guess that's how the future's done. -Feist

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Megan'sMom
Deck the Malls


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Several years ago, when I was working as a bank manager we had a young man come in on a Friday night a little bit before closing. Other than him, the lobby was empty of customers. He stood at our check writing stand for a while. Then, he left after asking what time we opened in the morning. Shortly after we closed we saw police cars speeding to the bank across the street. Apparently, they had been robbed. Long story short, it was the same guy. When they asked us to view a photo lineup, I was surprised they had a mugshot of him ready so quickly. I asked and the detective told me he wrote his hold-up note on the back of his own, personalized, check. All that time standing at our check writing stand with hundreds of blank papers (at least on one side!) in front of him and he used his own check.

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Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of --
but do it in private, and wash your hands afterwards.

- Lazarus Long

Posts: 300 | From: Waldorf, MD | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Bunion
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Another bank robbery story I had read was that a hapless guy goes into a bank and gets one of the deposit slips from the bank and writes the robbery note on it. After writing it he begings to panic thinking that they noticed him so he leaves the bank and goes across the street to the other bank. He waits in line at the other bank and goes up to the teller and hands her the note on the deposit slip from the other bank. The teller apparently realizing this guy is an idiot tells him "Sorry but this note is on a deposit slip from another bank, you are going to have to write it on one of our slips." The robber then dejected walks out the bank. The bank then calls the cops, who go back over to the original bank and find the guy waiting in line again to give the his robbery note to the bank whos deposite slip it was written on.

Who knows if that one is true but that is another one I read.

A real story that happened here in Columbia several years ago, not quite as funny but with just as an incompetent robber.

This down on his luck lawyer decides to rob a bank and he has a what he thinks is a full proof plan. He drives his motorcycle to a rental car buisness in the same shopping center as the bank he wants to rob and goes inside holds them at gun point and ties up the employees there. He then takes one of their rental cars and drives to the bank and puts on a fake beard and mustache. He then goes into the bank and up to the teller and tells them it is a hold up. Apparently the guy looks so ridiculous the teller laughs at him thinking it is a joke. He then gets mad at the teller and shoots her. (She wasn't critically injured and survives)

He gets the money and drives back to the rental car place, gets out of the car and back on his motorcycle and leaves. Someone walking by seems him get out of the car and onto the motorcycle and thinks something is strange so he goes inside and finds the employees tied up. He then calls the police.

This shopping center is sort of on the edge of town and instead of heading away from town where there are countless small roads in the woods he could easy get away in, he drives back toward town. Up the street from the bank is the police station and just as they are responding to the bank robbery, they are notified of the guy on the motorcycle from guy the saw him leave the rental car buisness. As the police are pulling out of the station the see the motorcycle driving up the road and they pull out and he runs into them.

So they arrest him and he goes to jail for 30 years and fortunately no one was killed. I was working EMS at the time and we were sent as second unit to the bank (another unit had already transported the teller who had been shot.) So we are that bank looking at one of the other employees and so here we are at the bank with 20 police cars, a fire engine and an Ambulance and people still keep pulling into the bank to try to do their buisiness. I am thinking to myself "If I pull up to the bank and see this many police cars I can safely assume I probably need to go to another bank." The police finally had to block off all the driveways anywhere near the bank to stop people from showing up.

Bunion

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You get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun then you do with a kind word alone.

Posts: 44 | From: Columbia, SC | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Franny
Jingle Bell Hock


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My mom was in a car accident two weeks ago (she's fine, her car is not). When the police came to the scene the woman who hit her said, "I saw the light turning red so I accelerated to get through it really fast."

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I've been waiting here for like 20 minutes.

"It's you, but distilled into one place." - JK. http://www.theheldhand.blogspot.com/

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NobbyNobbs
Deck the Malls


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A local bank in my home town was being robbed. The teller hit the silent alarm. The police responded in record time, because the bank was directly across the street from the police station.

A friend on the force said it was wonderful. Basically, the station emptied out, and all these cops simply walked across the street, surrounded the bank, and waited for the guy to come out.

It ended peacefully, and very quickly.

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Back in the days before electricity, we were forced to watch TV by candlelight.

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sully61
Deck the Malls


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I have a client set for court next week because he was not happy with the people walking through his yard to go to his neighbor's house. Minor problem, right? He decides to call the police because he wants the people to be told they can't come to the neighbor's house anymore. Well, the police explain they can't do that. Then he learns a valuable lesson in housecleaning. Before you call the police to come to your house -- put up your drugs and paraphernalia. The coffee table - in plain view of the front door - not good storage if the cops are coming over.
Sadly, this is not the first client I have had arrested for drugs after calling the police to come to their home about something else. He probably isn't the dumbest client I have had either. There was the man who had in his possession a number of items not belonging to him when he was approached by police investigating a burglary. (The items are in a shopping cart for easy transport and no he was not homeless we are talking electronics). He explains to the officer that the items are his. Why were they still suspicious - because among other things he had a fish in a bowl. As the officer noted in his report (generating many laughs) -- You don't normally walk your fish.

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Follow the yellow brick road.

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I once heard about a guy picked up in a prostitution sting wearing a tuxedo. Apparently he snuck away from his own wedding reception to get a little action. [Roll Eyes]

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Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!

IMJW-052804

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Sneaky Pete
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I'm new to this web-site. Reading BUNION's story reminded me of a true situation that happened in Naples, Fl. in the mid-80's. There were a few radio stations that had some viewer call-ins. These people can talk about anything they wanted knowing they had to keep it on a "G-rated" level. This one guy got on the phone saying he wants a cop to come to his house, because he was just robbed. The DJ kept him on the line to get him to tell his story. This FOOL said his best friend just robbed him & he wanted to have him arressted. The item in question: a bag of pot. Needless to say the cops got to his home and arrested this stoned fool. It made the front page of the newspaper the next day!
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Dark Blue
The First USA Noel


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quote:
If I pull up to the bank and see this many police cars I can safely assume I probably need to go to another bank.
You would think, but just the other day as myself and 2 other officers were running into an apartment complex with our AR-15s (assault rifles for those not knowing guns) a person asked us if it was safe for them to come that way. If you see 3 cops running into an area with large guns, it is probably a safe general assumption that you should maybe wait before going in the same direction. We usually don't bust them out for loud party calls.....usually.

Citizens can be as dumb as crooks too.

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I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf. -- On Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs by LTC. Dave Grossman, USA (Ret)

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Mycroft
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Dark Blue:
If you see 3 cops running into an area with large guns, it is probably a safe general assumption that you should maybe wait before going in the same direction.

Shortly after the terrorist bombs in London last year there was news footage of a police raid on a block of flats. At one stage a small child comes out of one of the flats to play with the police dogs.

The only time a local bank was robbed (around 10 years ago) all the local police were half a mile away doing crowd control for the filming of a detective story

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
A lady flags down a cop and tries to get someone arrested for selling them fake crack cocaine.

The cop's response was priceless. The lady was free to go as she technically hadn't commited any crime.

I'm going to give her the benefit of a doubt here, as I can find one possible explanation that makes her action actually make some sense.

Sometimes, fake drugs are sold which are made from substances that can be lethal. In that case, informing the police is the right thing to do.

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/Troberg

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Banquo's Ghost
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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As a court officer in a major felony courtroom, I saw a trial where the defendant wore a ski mask when robbing a MacDonald's. Not a bad plan as such things go. However, he overlooked a couple of things. It was his neighborhood MacDonald's, one which he patronized when not robbing it; he stood over 6' tall and weighed about 260 (he was about the biggest guy in the neighborhood); the cashier behind the counter was his sister's best friend and she recognized him even with the mask on (and his voice as well); and to top it off, he was wearing his name tag around neck.

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I have no spur to prick the sides of my intent...

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Bunion:

The police respond to a woman who had her purse stolen and she gives a description of the man that stole it. The police put the description out on the radio and another police car locates the suspect.

As far as whether or not the OP story is true, my guess is probably not. Not unless California police are far more diligent than DC ones (which admittedly is quite possible). Several years ago, a then-friend of mine had her purse snatched in DC. I called the cops on her behalf because she was too shaken up to do it herself, and all they told us was to keep an eye out in the garbage cans in our neighborhood for the next few days, maybe the purse would turn up with the money gone.

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Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Victoria J
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by sully61:
I have a client set for court next week because he was not happy with the people walking through his yard to go to his neighbor's house. Minor problem, right? He decides to call the police because he wants the people to be told they can't come to the neighbor's house anymore. Well, the police explain they can't do that. Then he learns a valuable lesson in housecleaning. Before you call the police to come to your house -- put up your drugs and paraphernalia. The coffee table - in plain view of the front door - not good storage if the cops are coming over.
Sadly, this is not the first client I have had arrested for drugs after calling the police to come to their home about something else. He probably isn't the dumbest client I have had either.

Reading this thread reminded me of a story told at a colleagues leaving party.

Apparently a regular client came to the Advice Bureau wanting us to make the police release his property. My colleague started looking into how you would get property released, until she discovered that the property in question was - 2 Marijuana plants. The police had found him growing them on his balcony and he was amazingly lucky that he just got cautioned and had the plants confisticated. My colleague basically told him to stop complaining.

Victoria J.

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Post accompanied by maniacal laughter.

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Tomcat
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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When I was in college, a guy tried to rob a local convenience store/gas station one afternoon while wearing a gorilla mask and armed with a knife. The clerk pulled out a baseball bat and chased him away, then called the police. After being given a description, the cops drove a few blocks down the road, and the guy was walking along... still wearing the gorilla mask...

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www.audiowaveprod.com

You can go 'round the world,
You can go 'round the block.
But all I want to hear,
Is some '55 rock...

*Cub Koda

Posts: 170 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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